Children (Part 1 of 2)

When it comes to understanding how children should respond to their parents instruction. Scripture is clear and concise.

So why is it the parenting is still such a challenge today on Truth for Life weekend. Alastair beg teaches us about the daunting responsibility of raising a child. Colossians chapter 3 and verse 20, and our text is children obey your parents in everything for this pleases the Lord here in one concise sentence, Paul provides this clear and comprehensive instruction on the upbringing of children and it is quite remarkable when you ponder how many books are out there.

Both secular and Christian how many thousands of books and how many millions of words have been panned utilized in endeavoring somehow or another to get to this issue of children and their parents. And here we find in what is just really one sentence that Paul has expressed the essence of what multiple books on child rearing struggle themselves to express. He has been teaching them that the gospel doesn't simply alter our relationship with God which it dies. But it actually alters our relationship with everyone and with everything that the gospel is a life changing transformation and in the context of the slanted eyes and the other letters that Paul writes interestingly Colossians and Ephesians and and Philemon.

Philippians 2 written from the Roman imprisonment in each of these letters, he labors very, very hard to make it clear to his readers that what is true concerning them will work itself out in the every day events of life, and so for example when he says in the 16th verse of chapter 3. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, he says as you do. You will then be teaching and admonishing one another in other words, the fellowship of God's people is an instructional environment that God's people are learning not simply from the instruction of the pastors and teachers by their learning in the context of one another because we instruct one another verbally and also graphically in the way we live our lives and it is in that context that are singing are Psalms in our hymns and our spiritual songs are edifying things that they speak to is about life and they reveal God to us in the speak. We speak to ourselves. Sometimes were immersing and we speak about one another and to one another in our hymnody and then in the context of that. He goes on to say, and really, in a comprehensive statement. Whatever you're doing, whether it's in word or indeed I want you to do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus and give thanks to God the father through them. Then he says wives submit your husband's so having addressed wives and intern husbands. He now turns to children in verse 20, and as I said next time he will put the second wing on the plane as it were, as he comes to give instruction to the fathers.

I wonder, might we just observe in passing that since Paul wrote these letters to, for example, the believers in Colossae and he wrote these letters in order to be read that we might safely assume that Paul anticipated the presence of children in the assembly when the letter was read and he would be able to listen and learn that the whites that their moms were supposed to in the way they responded to their husbands model.

The response of the church to Jesus and he would learn that their dads were supposed to love their moms with our sacrificial kind of love, and they would then that it was their privilege and their obligation and their responsibility to be obedient to their moms and dads and we may as parents inadvertently send a message to our children concerning the nature of gathering for praise and for instruction in this larger room, a message that says to our children.

This really isn't for you, or this isn't something you would enjoy or this isn't something you would understand or this is something that you can get later and suddenly our children have gone from kindergarten to seniors in high school and despite always say about the blessing and the benefit of the teaching of the Bible, we have allowed our children to pass through our fingers. Without the benefit of that being there portion you got it wrong. As parents, let's get it right as grandparents. Paul assumes the presence of children in the gathering of God's people in the reading of this letter now letters notice. Essentially, two things. First of all, the obligation that it speaks to, and we may observe a couple of things by way of the obligation. First of all, that it is clear children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. It is certainly not difficult to understand. One commentator says it would be hard to find any practical family instruction more rooted in every part of Scripture than the importance of children's obedience to their parents as well. Observed there is virtually no place we can go in the panorama of Scripture say perhaps song of Solomon, in which we will not find this constant recurring emphasis so the clarity of the verses there the Scriptures calling for children to listen to their fathers, and to see that they don't despise their mothers, Proverbs, Solomon helps is in.

This doesn't eat.

Proverbs 320, 23, 22, listen to your father who gave you life and do not despise your mother when she is old is not hard to understand those of your young people are here tonight. What am I supposed to do supposed to listen to my dad okay what else my supposed to do.

I'm not despise my mother when she gets all me. Your father and mother be glad may she who gave you birth rejoice the father of a righteous man has great joy. He who has a wives son delights in him so the Bible makes it very clear that children are in obedience to the parents to listen to their dads and not to despise their mothers equally.

So it makes clear that it is the full who spurns his father's discipline. It is always the fool in the Bible again. Proverbs is littered with this.

It is the foolish child who neglects what his father says it is the foolish daughter who despises the instruction that comes her way and the discipline of the parents is the discipline. First of all, of correction that are parents discipline as to correct us to bring his interlining to make sure that we stay within the confines that God has laid out for us so that we might enjoy the benefits that accrue to us and so that we might avoid the pitfalls that are present in the in the.

The gullies and the nukes and crannies that often appear so attractive to us. The corrective influence of our parental jurisdiction is vital to the well-being of our children and many a young man many a young girl will be saved from manifold stupidity and heartache by simply paying attention to Colossians 320, whether you feel like it, or whether you don't feel like the clarity with which it speaks is unavoidable. Children obey your parents. So when you undergo the discipline of correction. It is there to drive out faults so that you're able to come and say I was sorry. I'm sorry I was wrong and I accept the consequences. But part of our obedience is not simply to the discipline that comes to us by way of correction but it is the disciplines that comes by way of instruction and that is laid upon the parents to instruct children to train them up in the way that they should go to teach their children skills that are useful and unnecessary in life. That is why it is such a daunting challenge to be a parent because you said yourself as you go down the road. How many times my going to have to say that in the answer is probably all about. Another thousand, maybe 1700 and as before they even get out of junior high. How many times am I going to have to say this time without number. Probably. And it is the equally foolish parent who bills out of the responsibility prematurely, who may join the disaster zone in the company of the disobedient child to accept the discipline of training is simply to say to our moms and our dads. I agree that what you are training me in is necessary and I agree that it is useful and I agree that it is biblical and I want you to know that I accept your instruction. When's the last time one of your children called you into the bedroom just to say that to all you know, I may only come much later, but please God. It will come when a child resents and rejects parental discipline when a child is disobedient and is not trained by such discipline.

He or she begins to develop what we might refer to as emotional calluses. When we talk about the hardening of people and when we talk about a child being hard and in different and cold and callous. We may be sure that that is not happened simply as a result of a moment in time but it is almost inevitably happened over a period of time in the same way that a person may listen to the gospel being proclaimed, and it is either softening their hearts or it is hardening their that is why it is such an awesome and dreadful thing to be in a Bible teaching church where the gospel is faithfully proclaimed and to be on the receiving end of it, and to do nothing with it because an individual may develop those same kind of spiritual calluses to the truth of God's word to the point that they become cynical and disinterested and almost reached the point where they are impervious to its truth child and develop those kind of emotional calluses grows in increasingly antagonistic to all kinds of authority you will get the calls from the school teachers you will get the calls from the youth group leaders. You will get the calls from anybody in a position of authority that the coach of the soccer team of the football team. The baseball team, whatever else it is, he'll be on the phone to say I really don't know what it is with Billy here buddy just doesn't seem to listen a single thing that anybody says, myself and everyone else included Walesa disobedient boy these disobedient to his parents into the instruction of Scripture and is now begun to make it a hallmark of his character.

Such a young man or a young woman unchecked on reached by grace will become inevitably a menace in any community and ultimately a menace to themselves. The Bible teaches that I went past, says Solomon. I went past the garden of a lazy man. The wall was broken down, all overgrown and riddled with. We silent testimony to a failure to consistently do what is right when it's right equally true in the realm of children you see real obedience in the Bible addresses this real obedience is a matter of the heart. Real obedience as a matter of the heart in the same way that real respect is a matter of the heart, I met somebody this week from Georgia Georgia and and I said all I like people from Georgia. I said visitors are sort of respect in Georgia is under is a well I hope so. I said no I like it. They say yes ma'am yes sir and we talked about how is possible to say yes ma'am and yes, sir. Not really mean it is possible for our verbiage not to be an expression of our hearts and children can become adept at this and the children are listening to me tonight know that there is a huge distinction between an obedience that is heartfelt, God honoring and sincere and a spirit of sort of reluctant external subservience which provides only a thin disguise for what is an increasingly stubborn and rebellious heart.

Note in each evening we cross-referenced our verse with what Paul says in Ephesians, I don't want to do that so much tonight, but you'll notice if you do turn to Ephesians 6 that he says children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right and honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. In other words, he doesn't he doesn't provide as an incentive, a threat he provides is an incentive, a promise the Old Testament had plenty of threats that went along with this, there were lots of things that were going to happen to children if they failed to comply with the instruction, but here when Paul frames it he says is as if he stands back from the text and he says children need to understand that all motivation in this is their well-being. It is that things might go well with them is that they might enjoy the privileges and opportunities of their childhood, but it will not happen.

Absence the obedience which reveals itself in respect for a young person to respect his parents are her parents means at least this that they speak kindly to them and they speak kindly about and find that is true of all respect. The real test of respect is to overhear a teenager talking to his mother or his father on the phone and to watch his eyes because the eyes will give him away. Listen in the mall as the girl holds the cell phone to her ear and you see her saying yes mom, but it's not. Yes, mom is yes mom, there's no respect in that response I hear you all the seeds of indifference are built into that interchange. Even though the phraseology is accurate, it does not express the heart attitude and genuine respect for an individual when you speak to them demands that you look at that's not simply a cultural issue that is oppressing emotional, psychological, interactional, issue business 101. Look the guy in the face when you shake his hand and how many times do parents have to take their children's little faces in their hands and kindly say look at me, look at me or let me see your eyes because the eyes have the eyes are the gateway into the soul into the psyche into the heart of the individual.

It is imperative that we instruct our children look at me.

I only look at anyone else. I want you look at me because when I see your eyes I see it's much harder to disguise things when someone's got a flat on gaze into your face. Children know that that's why we look down well.

Solomon actually has a startling image in relationship to this just read it for you and then will move to our second in our final point, which should be encouraged to some Proverbs once again the I that marks the father that scorns obedience to a mother will be pecked out by the ravens of the Valley will be eaten by the vultures. I was at some fairly graphic images. What he is saying here is exactly what I'm trying to convey the I that marks the father. The I that scorns obedience to a mother will eventually become and I that is useless, so the instruction is absolutely clear and secondly the instruction is absolutely comprehensive business children obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord all but says somebody almost immediately.

Surely there are exceptions to this, and of course that, in the same way that there are exceptions to all of these aspects of interpersonal relationship but aren't you always a little wary of yourself when you want to immediately sidestep the comprehensive nature of the word of instruction to find the exception clause. Let me find out the things I don't have to do in relationship to this dorms let's go there first, let's just let's just look at it face on, don't be so quick to look for exceptions learn to obey your parents across the board. That's what it says let your instinctive reaction be to parental instruction, obedience.

That is the default that is the screensaver the screensaver goes immediately to Colossians 320. I would obey my parents and everything. Unless of course our parents instructors to do something which is a clear contravention of what the Bible says if our parents demand of us some practice which would be untrue to the Bible and offensive to God than at that point. Of course we have to exercise the acts chapter 419 response judge for yourselves whether it is right for us to do this, but we got will I have to a big garden this night is clear, practical advice that can only be applied in our lives with God's gracious enabling. This is true for life with Alastair back if you listen to Truth for Life regularly on the weekends you know that we carefully select and recommend resources that are designed to help you grow in your walk with Christ and this is the first weekend we are introducing Alastair big's new book titled brave by faith God -sized competence in a post-Christian world in the book brave by faith Alastair addresses the ways in which our culture is shifting away from Christian beliefs, and embracing. Instead, secularism. As believers we find ourselves living in a new normal. Where we are increasingly in the minority.

Alastair makes these observations by drawing from the book of Daniel. He shows us how the pagan culture in which Daniel lived is not that much different from our own. In fact, there are many striking similarities between ancient Babylon and the modern Western world as it relates to belief in the God of the Bible, but thankfully the book does not end there.

Alastair uses these comparisons as a guide so we can be prepared to live faithfully no matter what brave by faith is a book that will consistently remind you of God's sovereignty in every situation quester copy today by visiting Truth for Life.org will also find a companion study guide available for purchase or free download when you go to Truth for Life.org/store Bob Lapine thanks for listing. Join us again next weekend is will conclude this message by learning more about how God's call to obedience still applies to families in contemporary culture.

The Bible teaching of Alastair big is furnished by Truth for Life Learning is for Living