Understanding Your Spouse's Emotions (Part 1 of 2)

Tired and I was ready to walk away from our marriage. Abby's husband serves in the military, which means a lot of family moves in a huge strain on their relationship through our contest.

Abby found hope for marriage.

I don't believe that we would be where we are today without focus on Jim Daly.

Working together we can bring hope to more marriages like Abby's gift today focusonthefamily.com/real family. But when you complement is like talking about do you like it didn't move me if you want Trish and Ashley will share her remarkable testimony of how her marriage was saved and she has some great ideas you can put into practice in your marriage today.

I'm John Fuller and your hostess focus Pres. Jim Daly and I love the spark of life and her John. I think all of us would admit if we've been married for more than a few years that no marriage is perfect. That's the reality that one and when that realization hit you, the critical question is what you do you choose to lovingly confront your spouse and work through the issue or do you ignore the problem and hope it will go away and if the problem continues, what do you do today speaker has the answers to those tough questions and she sharing with us out of her own pain from a marriage that was in terrible trouble, but Patricia Ashley and her husband Vernon ended up having a happy marriage and they were married for over 45 years up until a Vern's death in 2018. Let's roll.

This is a great message. Lots of humor and insights and spark as you said your name is Patricia Ashley speaking at a women's conference in Indian Wells, California, a number of years ago. This episode of something like testimony.

When I got no save me. Maybe it was the result of anything to my marriage or to work on the manage at the point where I was in my relationship equally relationship with me, waiting to be on that is. And along with about you being in the military no. We had one thing in common. We both dearly love to let God use to hold reasoning okay and so I sent to Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior and I began to read my word, not knowing what got. He began to read his divorced emotion spirit that one will go much harder appointment so much and that's where my man. And as we grew in the Lord as we began to read the word to befriend with each other again trying to develop and little and allowing our sales to Jesus. What God allows situation to happen in one of my friends live and when I found myself with my knees playing with my right again to the same God. Did we know that when we click on click made it the result of the because we just both started growing in our relationship God needed and now the love that we experience. It's do you hear what the commitment is what we do is win against the ghost we realize we likely to let you know that you become bitter and indifferent call you become angry and hard coal yourself you know what and when we begin to do as we began to invest all that God had invested in our man. We made a commitment to invest into and then we went to the word and look at the word of God had to say about me because you see what we found out is all the way back over inch marriages originate in the heart of the it wasn't in the heart of the mind of mankind just create man and woman and let them eat for each of God is not for man to be alone a woman to be alone and what we know as women of God. Everything that God has created and said you know the Bible students with that God has created and said that was mad by the working has perverted everything is not good for man to be alone got and how many women of the B by the very man that is supposed to be nurturing and protecting how many men are rejecting the women he said it's good that we bear shield how many abortions are being performed. Everything in this country you got that was good and that was again not just good but gave us physical intimacy with the world call sex key perverted so perverted that it's a bad word to everything that's good marriages in the heart of God was in his words and what we must do it was going to like Christ was going to have the mind of God as it relates to what God has ordained that we must not be influenced by the world DD we need to be changed: the reprogram in our minds to what the will of God is an excellent navigator to do because we had no idea what God expected of us.

The word says in Proverbs 1822, it says that God meaning you meaning you found no go back, precious press sleep you have found click any and because you have me which just because you have me a favor in God's word and and so unappreciated that will that's the heart of God be today and get the mind of God thing the thoughts of God know that regardless you just don't know when you have that do you position where you got must be able to know he is that when God looked at me now needed to help and so were create to the helper, now I know it's God we can believe that we can achieve it and you have to make sacrifices to sacrifice your marriage I should shield you achieve your goals in life because when you give your life to this man see you one thing's counsel we get from the world and sometimes from there when we been hurt when we been mistreated when we been misunderstood and appreciated all that Israel, we must very cheese and let him heal, and we must God strengthen and to give us his and give us his wisdom as to how we handle different situations. For those of you that a merit unit to give an account for how you were a wife to you doesn't matter how he didn't know what I'm saying. The one thing I learned early when I started asking God to show me. He showed me the number one you are not the end of the couple in my to be just for you works you in a couple you stand an individual and give an account. So now you can make to unconditionally obey me as it relates to your responsibilities as a woman and as a life as a track list. I remember one day reading a book by this woman and the I believe the title is meal that he is a believable 99 pages got anyone to me to tell me or teach me the principles of submission. I was that strong-willed and that self-willed and that determine so Gotto let me pick up this book in book is a hammer, okay.

When I read the book I fell on my face when I got through the last page and I cried out. I said old you know he crazy thing from her book as a result, I wish you will pass away, but I will not change my and God really probably to the point.

He said it's not meeting he it's an issue of needing to me. He said because when you you will see that meeting. Do you hear me when you can change his call, miles on the line open up the rate in the visible cross.

This made me you and being in the military and believing all balances out with me lots God changes in God. Again, to soften them up.

Do you know when God began to show me me and we need to do. We need to talk to them self listen you get your free inches to be accountable to a prayer partner that it would like to invest in your marriage, which it shows people that committed to husband and help you criticize get rid of and understand each other. We should let each other believe you in a safe environment but only if she is not committed to the success of your marriage because you want to which America found on take you listen to women and I do it now because you know what we need to do that marriages are falling apart now is women only have those circles that they can move the wind so pleased with our job. We go from work to home. The cool kids get ready for the next day. Some of you all commute 20 and 30 mountain phone probably bowl and you really have the energy and the kind of time that God requires of you to invest into your marriage and so the first question on the first trauma your marriage experience starts to fall networking support group to network in a godly environment when you leave you feeling I'm committed to the success of my own marriage and got to give you some that committed to the success of your marriage encourage you and you will know that they'll be disappointed if you don't stay far and belong to someone in your life that committed to the success of your man right now. You need someone to help encourage you what older ladies used to do my mother telling me when I first left the military I want to leave Alabama and finally my mother said to me honey you better go with you going to work. My mother gave me discounts. I think it was so late.

She said she said when you be just a little, we use and you know those of us that are born again point committed to even clean that in Genesis 224 for this reason, you will never be fulfilled in your marriage if you don't believe in clean some of steel have emotional we still have the whole with mom, now we do now was the youngest child that his mother had.

She called him her million dollar gold piece of mansion position and let me wish we would ask what she wanted him out of the house and our relationship with the call mold between he and his thing had to be broken but it wasn't until we got in the word that we realize that his wife and his mother was his dad is one of my trips back home to go to his father first and ask his father to give him a place in his mother's heart that only French with anything like that. Okay to go to his mother and say I want you to think me for taking and requiring he said and I want to release you that you want to be your one you but you back to you in front of me is that it was a breath and was in God began to use to minister to his mother and uses mother to minister note step in here and wrap up this part of a great presentation from Patricia Ashley on today's episode of focus of the family, Jim. She has been so honest about the struggles, intermarriage and hope she found in doing things the way God recommends a ring hear more from Patricia next is it amazing that when we as individuals start to seek God wholeheartedly we see benefits not just in our spirit, but in our relationships are working even our health, and I just love the fact that Patricia Ashley didn't demand that God rescue her marriage.

She just began seeking the Lord with her whole heart and then her husband got saved. Their marriage got saved, and even her husband's relationship with his parents improved. That's what we talked about in terms of the Christian life.

When you live it out.

The benefits are there that is really true and I hope Patricia's story is motivated you as a listener to take that first step toward making things right with your spouse and just watch and see how God can work in your marriage where you know what someone has to take that first step. That's the hardest part, we can talk all day long, but if your heart doesn't open up and you don't reach out to your spouse. Nothing is going to change. Let me just say if you are in an abusive situation. It's important that you get to a place of safety for yourself and your children but keep praying for your spouse and for their healing. You know strong marriages make for healthy families where children can grow up in a safe and loving atmosphere here Focus on the Family we want to do everything we can to help couples improve their relationship.

Like Patricia Ashley talked about today and boy this past year has been very tough on marriages. Our counseling team is seeing that in the calls we receive your everyday so let me remind you that we are here for you. Call us if you need help and if you feel that your marriage is in real dire straits.

Ask about her hope restorative tenses which have been over 80% success rate. Two years later, as we survey them just call 800 K in the word family to set up a consultation or seek additional help in that number 800-232-6459 and let me encourage you to join the team. This is under God's direction to save marriages or something close to his heart, so be part of it. Make a gift to Focus on the Family today. It only takes $30 to help us save one marriage can you do that with this I hope so. And when you make a donation of any amount will send you a CD of this program featuring Patricia Ashley, with extra content as our way of saying thank you and you can reach us by calling 880 family 800 K in the word family or follow the link in the episode notes to donate to the work Focus on the Family and request that CD with additional content when you're online with us.

We should look for our free marriage assessment, which is a quick online quiz to help you identify the strengths and perhaps some areas of growth in your relationship on behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team. Thanks for joining us today for this Focus on the Family podcast take a moment and help us out by giving us a rating and ensuring about this episode with a friend on John Fuller inviting you back once more help you and your family thrive in Christ.

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