Paul's Story Part 2

Your right and okay so you never really felt like you had a spiritual witness of the book of Mormon, or the truthfulness of the church is that what started you down the path leading leading away from the church or was it something else. Maybe something doctrinally or historically that will let you that we question has always been around archaeology Mormon so I talked to Sarah as the religion era so if it feels everything fails which is which is very logical about things right. If Joe Smith did by the power of God translate energy record is known on a learned man. If that's not what the book of Mormon is then it's not what is so the idea that it would be in ancient records was indispensable. Right. That's what it claims to be an ancient record found by man in a hill in New York and translated by the man into English.

Tennis is slowly reached record people's real pupils, who lives in the Americas so that idea was indispensable for me before my mission.

Just a few few months before my mission Dead Sea Scrolls were on accident on loan to BYU traveling exhibit I seen a couple of times tossing up most therapy will not want to scare the students is that if years ago, but I went to that exhibit at BYU and I remember standing in front of the large Isaiah scroll, which I understand is not the actual Isaiah scroll was a replica of this in the realm of the traveling exhibit, but some it's a complete replica of the full Isaiah scroll was found among the Dead Sea Scrolls and remember standing there listening to the cassette tape description of what I was looking at on the Walkman that they have exhibit and just being kind carried away and thought when cassette tape described the Isaiah scroll is as natural ancient record that came out of the dust and then tried to make a comparison of back to the book of Mormon because I was like, well, we don't have the plates and not only do we not have the plates that we don't have anything like a predecessor to the place on parchment or anything that would demonstrate that the place where the English translation of the wood actually represent engine artifact and ends that tallies into why I was in the headspace of the end of my mission thinking about archaeology because that definitely has always been cartilage and while I was on my mission talk about the city that was in southern Hungary was a college town. I was there knocking doors with companions on a hot summer day and we were out of this neighborhood houses knocking on doors and Congress have a weird place citizens behind the Iron Curtain, so people have high iron fences or stone walls around their yards where you have to ring a bell rings inside the house in order for them to come out and opened the gate for lead agency in their yard. A lot of credit remaining anxiety and fear of their neighbors that comes from the communist era so right about this one house instead of coming out the gate did this house set right on the sidewalk salute their windows of the house were right on the sidewalk instead of coming out of the house and moving up the gate.

The man stuck his head out the front window and asked us what we wanted salute. Explain who we were the one tell about Nietzsche record found and no. We have some time to talk about it and it is kind of an eccentric guy is like wall. Would you be interested in reading a real ancient record that was found as I sure so he disappeared back in his house and came back to the window and held out to the legacy papers that look like it been photocopied off of something and he headed to the new site here. Here's a real ancient document that has been found and he's like, I'll tell you what, I'll take your book and I'll read it. If you'll take this book ends. But you have to bring it back because that's my only copy and got it from a friend of his. So my companion but I was crazy that I made a deal and I took that sheaf of papers back to our apartment that night and I read it and you know was describing war between the sons of light and the sons of darkness. I had no idea what I was reading. I realize now what I didn't know that the receiver characters on one side of the paper and then there was an English translation of the soul was like a translation of the Dead Sea Scrolls that turns out. Now the translation of the war scroll from the Dead Sea Scrolls and I had no idea what was at the time notice 20 years old in reading and mentoring were scholarly that I was but took it back to the next day, but I remember just being struck by that there were actual schools being found. Again, I was struck by the actual school been found that demonstrated that the culture of ancient Judaism actually existed and was a real thing and there's nothing like that. Nothing tangible like that, the book of Mormon casts a long story short, archaeology something for you. It came down to archaeology and so so so is that the last so that the final straw that made you realize that you really wanted something tangible to prove or to provide evidence for the requirement is that is that really what sealed the deal for you as to why you no longer believe the teacher knows that is not the final step we discussed moving the sender searching sure. Yeah so so how did you what led you after that experience on your mission. What led you after that to start questioning and searching for answers and acumen for my mission like this. I try really hard on that masking I was in full on struggle because I wanted her to be some type of evidence. So I came home and I subscribe to forms foundation preaching researching Mormon studies is not a maximalist data publication Journal they produced quarterly cultural book of Mormon studies. I subscribe to that and read it every quarter will come out and what I found there is that most often the scholarly papers that were written in that journal were mostly walking back overly optimistic claims that have been made about archaeological findings and Mesoamerica 50 years prior and that bothered me.

So as I was just looking for something to hold onto that.

I still enjoyed the culture of the church. I still enjoyed the fact that boards will generally welcoming place it in the family outside of my family but I probably C7 my beginning.

The question was submitting my wife and ends in her family so when I came home I went back to work at the same company where my dad was working small electronics for soliciting and it's was working there with a friend of mine from high school and she would come in after guidance and there was a mutual friend of ours who was starting to girls online noted, the Internet can really change into being.

During my early high school years is as a thing that the people actually had access to no dial-up people have in their homes and so it was kind of weird idea that this mutual friend of ours was meeting girls online so Frankie recommended tell about their religion escapades where they would go out dancing or whatever they would do in this mutual friend of ours with some girl there that that he had met online and he was always frustrated that according to Henry didn't turn out to be like what they presented themselves as online solution. We would sit at work and talk about that laugh about it and he devised a science experiment that we would conduct where we would create a profile for ourselves classes at work where is where is this friend of ours, meetings, girls told it is a motorcycle LDS matchmaker.com. We decided to do due to really trust his his judgment because my friend Jason is cursing pretty cool is like on what has been as good reason to pity or whatever, but also revise the science experiment will create a profile of ourselves we had to respond to anybody who might have upon her profile and strike up a conversation with us and resists no see what kind of ice we got there was no intent merely to meet anyone.

It was just kind of standardized experiments to test our our mutual friends judgment and so I created a profile and within a couple hours I had probably six or seven emails of this before, knew who were interested in talking to know each other more than youfrom girl out here around the Cincinnati area ass that's weird that's a long way away right so responded to her email. Was Angela and we started talking, started chatting online using ICQ some old check in the that eventually it got to the point where we were talking on the phone and cell phones were really the thing then since 1999, so regret. Ran update long-distance bills, but eventually got the worst. It was fairly serious.

After several months, to the point where she invited me out here to be her day to her sister's wedding. So I flew out in November 99 attend her sister's wedding as to dates at a Baptist Church so guessing how the other side lives comes to weddings and ends while I was here proposed bans and she said yes. So I went back I flew back to Utah with the intense of moving out here at the end of 99 after Christmas. The last Christmas and my family. Good thing it would be a good idea to have come home from my mission middle of that year and my family before spending Christmas with them so decided to spend Christmas with them in the new not here to Cincinnati area solicited got here and ends went to work initially at Fidelity investments doing seasonal work (stock portfolios for tax season.

The documents that the people related to those in their accounts and eventually got a job working for an insurance company that had Medicare contracts and means well is working there. There was that the security guard named Charlotte.

She's not really African-American woman and we would talk often and are good out of the room to get the mail. Talk about religion because I was still in that mindset of being a good Mormon and I was really trying to because Angela had gotten baptized. Day after I got home from my mission so I can home on May 14 was baptized.

The odious church on the 15th and we both Got Assigned. I Been with the Wedding Approaching. I Was Feeling the Pressure of Being a Good Priesthood Holder Good Representative of the LDS Church. Both within My Relationship with Angela and Also in My Work Relationships so I Would Try to Do Missionary Work with Charlotte Else I Could Talk to Eventually Got Going up in My Conversations with Charlotte, Where She Was Taken Missionary Discussions. She's Reading the Book of Mormon and One Day When I Thought Things Were Going Fantastically Well Came into Work and Talk to Charlotte and She Looked Upset. She Had to Be Back.

The Book of Mormon That I Dinner That Had Posted Notes That She Is Stuck in There Should Read and Study and She Said I Can't.

I Can't Read This Anymore.

I Asked Her Why She Said She Talked to Her Pastor and He Told Her That That Morgan's Were Racist and I Tried to Argue That Point Because Here I Was, Everyday Talking with Her. I Certainly Wasn't Racist Didn't Have Any Racist Tendencies. She Agreed with That Question.

She Had a Stack of Papers That Her Pastor Printed off for Dinner Went into the Church's History with Laxton Kristin and Vasily Searching on That Issue, Which Centered on the Grab a Hold of LDS Church History and Doctrine. Changes in Policies and Development Were All Echoes Certainly Don't Have the Same Action with Any of the Other Policies or Was the Races in the Main Wide Use Look the Other Ones and It Arrived before Me. Yet Polygamy Was a Show about the Race so That Reason the Precision,,, Back to Dividing like That Was Tough Because I Remember Sitting Member of My Mission. I Had the Goal That I Talked about Writing Read All the Standard Works Level Course Included the Official Declarations That Are in the Pearl of Great Price Right so the Official Declaration Including Obliteration Being That the Ban on on Blast Pervasive and so I Remember Being Troubled by Both of Those but You Put Them up on the Shelf Don't Touch and Leave Them There until They Fall off the Shelf at a Time When No One Expected so We Need to Do a Similar Thing, As Will Also so See Michael, You're Not from the Top of Not More so You Give Me the Regular Resident of This Little Bit like a Utah Policeman I Was Growing up There Another Score When I Was a Young Man Getting Ready to Go on a Mission, Having Just Come Home from a Mission of Good Elders Quorum That Was like Speculation Time Breakup Was Time for Every Body of the Lord to Start Speculating about When Were Going Back to the 30 When His Polygamy, Back in Those Types of Things Are outside the Mainstream of Obvious Thought to Hang onto Their Needs and so I Was Swimming in a Pool of You Know People Suggesting That There Was a Time When Polygamy Was Coming Back and Wanted to Do You Know How You Handle That Right so Angela Nine That on My Flight Back from from Attending Her Sister's Wedding. I Had a Layover in Phoenix and the Overbooked Flight That I Was Supposed to Get from Phoenix to Salt Lake City so They Were Offering $500 Flight Vouchers for Anyone Who Would Be Willing to Take a Later Flight Will at That Time, a $500 Flight Voucher Would Buy A Lot, so I Agreed to Take a Later Flight through Denver to Get Back to Salt Lake and the Fibrillar Flight Voucher and I Send out Here. Angela Know Something Have Mentioned until Now but I Will Now Is That Is When I Know She Had Two Little Girls Already One of the Things That the People Were Concerned about around Me and and They Heard Was That I Would Have a Ready-Made Family and They Wondered Whether I Was Old Enough and Wise Enough to Manage That Which I Can Totally Understand Your Concern but That $500 Flight Voucher Was Going to Allow Her to Travel out There with Kelsey and Holly Knew My Family so Flight Voucher.

She Flew out There and While She's out There We Took a Drive and We Went out into the Southwestern Corner of the Salt Lake Valley Which at the Time Was Just Farmland by Harriman Is Nothing Farmland. Now It's All Dr. Seuss Houses out There in Dayspring Sema Matthew or Not but This Is Just the House Now, but We Took a Drive That Was One of My Favorite Things to Do in High School Take to Take a Drive out There by the Copper Mines. It Was Dark out about in the Valley Got Away from the Light Pollution of the City to See the Stars Cited Isolate Drug out There and so I Took Her out There to Share That with Her and You Were Driving along. I'm Thinking You Know Nothing about One of Those Conversations in Elders Quorum about like William Dupuis Was Back in Here. I Have, You Know, Engaged and Married to This Woman I'm Thinking like a What I Clearly Came Back and Saw a Slight Strike at This Conversation with Her about Know Some People Speculate That Someday Is Going to Come Back in the Church Would You Think about That Bad to Say I'm Surprised She Actually Married Me.

After the Conversation, but Not A Lot Of Blessing to Do the Deleted Were Good.

Yeah That's That's Kind of Thing That Most Just an Idea, so She Must Love You A Lot. She Said She Good and It's Been 20 Years Next Year so I Guess the Conversation Too Much so I Talked A Lot about Archaeology. Polygamy Is One Issue Where There Are Those the Main Issues Are That It Was or Anything Else That Was Kind of Detrimental to Your Faith or Something That Made You?

Or Do You Give Anything Else You Would like Same about Excel. I Just Got to the Point after after Years of Studies of I Talked about the Strategy. Charlotte and Halas and beyond on down the Rabbit Hole of Searching Google Searching Various Issues and Build His Church and That Limited to the Discussion Boards Online. Started out It Believes Net.com in a Discussion Board There on Mormonism and Several of Us That Discussed Regularly Bear and Elsewhere. Eventually Confounded Our Own Private Message Board Where We Discussed Things You Got Together in Person Once in Salt Lake City to Discuss Things and That Group of Men and Women Really Kinda I Mean It Was Indispensable to Have Them Help You Know Help Think through Things Helps Custard Things That I Was Learning.

I Think Probably One of the One of the Straws… Almost Too Much on the Camel's Back Was Was Reading. Rough Stone Rolling and Just, Realizing That There Were Logical and Rational Explanations for What Joseph Smith Produced Both in Terms of His Writings and in Terms of the Success of the LDS Church Goals Resulted, Including the God and so Irish Morning, Probably around 2007 or so Where I Didn't. I Wasn't a Liberal Believer More Than the Obvious Church History Claims, but Wanted to Stick in for the for the Cultural Aspect of It Didn't Lose My Family Wanted to Be That Strong Priesthood Holder That That Help His Family Together and so I Kept Pushing and Hips Trying Michael, You Allude to Know My Time Teaching in Elders Quorum I Would I Would Teach Lessons and Is Very Open so to Back up What I Sent a Number of Years in Young Men's Organization Where I Didn't Feel As Safe to Be Open about My Doubts. I Felt like There.

I Really Had Total Parting Line.

It Is the Responsibility on My Shoulders to Raise up the Next Generation of Latter-Day St. Youth in a Faithful Way and so I Just Had to Swallow My Doubts While I Serve Bear. But When I Moved Some of Those Moved from the Men's Organizations. The Other Squirm.

I for One Thing, the Two Men That I Was in Elders Quorum Presidency with Were.

They Were Willing to Be Open to and so We Had Discussions That Were Somewhat Refreshing.

But Then I Would Teach Lessons That in Which I Was Very Open about My Doubts about the Book of Mormon about Whether or Not Joseph Was Actually Profit and Spark Conversation the Other Squirm and People Would the Government's Only Other Member Comes Only That They Appreciate My Candor That Boosts It Was Refreshing.

I Never Got in Trouble with the Bishop or Anyone Else over. But Notice It Was a Difficult Time Because I Was Still Trying Faithful Trying to Find Goodness My Church Activity Trying to Find Community of Like-Minded People Who Would Be for Me in Person What I Had Experienced Online. The People and Eventually a Point Where Just Working More and It's Fruit for a Number of Years.

There Is Pushing the Skip Trying to Still Try and Snow. Angela and I Were Very Open throughout All of That about What We Were Going through What I Was Learning Misuse Learning. No Time When I Read the Book in Sacred Loneliness, Which Is the Father Read It. Some Incident History of Joseph Smith's Wife's Hands Are in Their Own Words Describes No What's Living Polygamy Was like for Them and I Was about a Rough Book to Read.

I Remember Hiding It from Angela Divided Wanted to Harm Her Faith and She Found It One Day While It Is a Work Spark Conversation. Told Her You Know Wasn't Sure That I Believe in God and More Will Ensure That I Deleted in the Church and More Not Crush Her, Remember Her Crying and She Just Insulated Know You Don't Believe You Have the Truth Salute throughout the Years We Were We Were Open to Talk about Things and She Was Supportive and Got the Point Where She Tried. She Pushed the Time around 2008 or so When Our Bishop Had Challenged to Mormon through and She Had Never Done It Will Try to Read It Together but Never Really Interested Her Obsession about Time She Challenged Abortion.

She Decided about the Shooting, Take up the Challenge and She Got the Book of Mormon on on CD and She Would Sit and Listen to CDs and Belong and She Went through the Entire Book in a Couple Weeks and Remember Feeling a Little Bit Excited Because I Cannot Hope That I Have Never Received the Witness but If She Receives the Witness the Immunity Is Still Hope for Me and Had a Conversation after She Had Rented. I Asked Her You Know What Data We Think Now Having Run All the Way through and Her Responses Was Very Disheartening for from Where Was the Time She Said That She Struggled to Believe It before Should Read It All the Way through and Now the Shoe Read It All the Way through.

She Was Certain That It's Not What It Claims to Be.

And so from That Time on She She Kind of Fell off Attending Church for the Most Part I Would Try to Push Her to Go Take the Kids and Go and A Lot Of Times She Would, but Sometimes I Would Nudge Her until She Would Go with Us Come Home from Church on Sunday Afternoon and Sit down to Lunch and I Can Just See in Her Eyes That I Described at the Time. Still, the Dead Look in Her Eyes. She Was Not Being Fed a Church and I Thought You Know That We Just Just Kept Trying to Eventually Work out and so One Day She One Friday. The Striking Mortgages and Billing Really Talk Dan's Oscilloscope Was Progressive Dinner Ticket to Go to a Park and Just so Bustling to Render to the Park and Sat down and I Was Fully Prepared for Her to Tell Me She Wanted a Divorce Because I Was. I Knew That Church Was Working for and I Have Been Pretty Clear with Her That Although I Had My Doubts in My Questions about the LDS Church That I Didn't Think I Could Ever Be Anything but Mormon Southern Baptist so She Felt like She Had Someplace to Go Back to Either Letters and Enjoy to Be Anything Other Than Mormon: on the Occasion, so I Thought We Reached a Point Where Irreconcilable Differences of Religion.

I Was Certain about, so She Can Tell Me That I Park Does Not What You Told Me What She Did Tell Me Was That She Could Not Go Back to the LDS Church and More Ginger Invited but She Couldn't That She Would like to Take the Kids and Try to Find Somewhere Else to Go to Church Hands Not Was Welcome to Wonder If She Wanted If I Wanted to, but If I Want to Stay Going to Build His Church That I Could Do That to the Dislike of Was like a Weight Lifted off Me.

I Felt Free to Say.

Now Let's Go Try Something Else. And so That's What He Said Next Started Church Hopping around the Area until We Landed at Lakeside Christian Church.

So Paul Is Only One Church Mainly Here. Just Wondering As I Know That in My Experience.

At First I Brought Mormon Right You Just Expect the Church to Be Perfect. Did You Find Yourself Criticizing Churches at First like Furlough Little Flaws Were Things That You Thought Were Imperfections Now so I Guess from Years We Had Been Going to Services at My In-Laws Baptist Church for Some Years Whether You Can Talk or Represents Cantata over Easter Morning Service Attended Services.

There Are so Often That It I Kind of Gotten Away from the Idea of Criticizing That up When I Was Really Open. I Wasn't Always That Way. So I Remember Going to One Service of My Plan Was Baptist Church One. Our Oldest Daughter Kelsey Is Probably Seven or Eight Years Old and Needs Work Services Was, It Wasn't. I Don't Recall Any Services Was but We Had Gone and the Pastor Preached and Invented an Altar Call and Kelsey Got up Out Of the Pew and Went Forward for the Altar Call. She Must've Been a She's Just Baptized. Remember Because I Was Freaking out so She Reported the Altar Call and I'm Nudging Annual like What Is She Doing What Is She Doing Would Really Just like She Could Be Doing This and I Remember Taking Our Son Out Of the Hole.

Todd Martin, Dino Angela Gone with Her Angela Grandma Baptist so You Know, for Herbalists, Not Anything to See Someone Go Forward for an Altar Call and for Her.

That Was a Legitimate Use Expression of One's Need for for Seder and so She Went up There to Be with to Be with Kelsey, Our Son Start a Fossil of a Certain Amount in the Home and Remember Just Pacing the Hallway, Freaking out like They Didn't Know Where Mormon Really Honestly How Can She Do for for an Altar Call like This and It Had a Sense in My Mormon Brain at the Time. I'm Thinking This Is She's She's Being Influenced by by Satan Because Steph's Mother Tricia Saw Her Writing Is so, but by the Time We Left, I Was so Far beyond That Mindset That I Was Just Open and Ready to See What Else Is out There. So in Terms of Whether the Charges among Churchmen. So Lakeside Christian Churches Directly across the Street from Stake Center. Every Attended Mormon Services for a Decade and so We Try to Avoid That Church We Try the Methodist United Methodist Church.

This This Nearby Were Are Some of Our Children Went to Preschool We Liked It. They Had Both a Traditional Service and the Contemporary Service Agreements and Traditional Him Service. The First Docket That Would Be More like Will Be Reduced to Youth Pastor for the Church Movements Hurt Her Backyard Fence Backed up against Our Backyard Fence so We Knew Her Fairly Well Thought We Might Go Back to the Church the Next Four for the Contemporary Service Bites.

I Was Kind of Forgot a Little Bit and Started Researching What the Community of Christ Tried to Take Us in That Direction Because I Thought Well Enough or Not Mormon, Salt Lake Mormon in Some Way Right so We in Canada by Seven Corresponding with the Female Pastor from the Community of Christ's Congregations near Here but, Farther Away Than One Travel for Church and Read Kind of Big Government Plans Next Week to Go There about Deciding Not to Do That Because It Was like an Hour in Our Way to Minimize Travel Authority for Church so We Decided to Investigate That but Made a Decision on Sunday Morning so Stay Home This Week and in the Third Week. This Is When We Decided to Just Okay Whatever Venture Lakeside Tribal Excited Because I Could See. I Can See When I Was Sitting in Them in the Foyer with Our Kids in the Mormon Church. I Could See People Going in Lakeside and They Always Look so Happy.

I Was Not Happy No Discharge of a Plan.

The People Going Lakeside Was a Copy They Look like They Were Excited to Go to Church and That's Not What I Saw at the Mormon Church. I Saw People Struggling to Get a Bunch of Kids in Church's Saw No Muscle near Realizing That No You Know How Long I Go on Trying to Put on His Mask and so This Wasn't Happy in Its Saliva. I Wanted to Try Lakeside Kind of Agreed That We Were Going to Because It Is Directly across the Street and One Our Mormon Friends to See Us Going in the Lakeside and It's a Very Casual Environment of a Sizable Wear Short Shorts and a Polo Football Needs. Keep in Mind Whether Their Team Jersey so It's Kinda the Complete Opposite Terms of Style and Culture That Is Churches Stated so You Are Literally Reasonably Related in the First Week We Walked in There and Worshiped for the First Time. It Was like Wow This Is This Makes Sense to Just Felt like Home from from Beginning, and People Welcomed Us and Made Really Good Relationships There so There's like What Was the Point Where or Was There a Point Where You Really Just Had a Thought like a Good Place and I Would Never Return to Mormonism and Did Not Take A While. It Did Take A While Because I've Known Are in My Mind since I Alluded to an Online Discussion Group Because It Took Him a Private and I've Known People in That Group Who Had Gone to Become Evangelical Christians and Men's Than You Know Find out That after Four Years or Eight Years. They're Going Back to the Obvious Church. So I Did for A While Think You Know Is This Just Another Mass Company on Now Were or Will the Stack and Decide I Didn't.

I Spent a Year I Should More Than a Year and Three Months Really Kind of Digging in and Trying to Learn and Get My Bearings before I Was Appointed Where K I Am Ready to Make It Official and Join This Church by by Being Baptized and Then Becoming a Full Member of This Church so We Left in May 2010 and Curtis and I Were Baptizing Us and I Were Baptized in August 2011. So As I Said, Is Probably the Point Where I Worry I Was. I Was Ready to Say I'm Ready, and until That Point I Did. I Do Do Doctrinal Compare, As Far As What the Church Goes I Was I Wasn't Critical of the Church Per Se. I Was Curious to Know How It's Different Right Now. Structured Is There Anything like Priesthood Was Curious about All Those Kind of Things, but It Wasn't. I Wasn't Critical That You Necessarily Have Those Critical and I Wasn't Critical Just Just Very Curious so You so Much.

My Question Is Going Ask Is so throughout This Process of Weaving a Discharge Fighting the Church Right Now and Feeling like Your Home. If Someone Were to Ask You What Point Do You Feel like the Lord Saved You. Could You Give a Specific Moment Time Was It Back in Your Mission, Your Praying for Jesus to Save You or Is It Will Be Difficult to Nail down a Specific Time. I Think It's Hard to Know Them Specific Time.

I Do Believe That I Was Saved before I Left the Obvious Church Because As As I Became Sort of the August with My Call Progressive Mormon in Regards to My Beliefs about the LDS Church and Ministry Claims. The Nonnegotiable's Jesus Hands so Although I Do Teach the Lessons and Always Squirm Where I Openly Shared My Doubts about Building Restrictions to Claims. Most of My Lessons Were Focused on Jesus and What He Did for Us When Sacrifice Was for Us That's That's Really Where My Heart Was at the Time and so I Guess I Guess That's Why Church at the End of the Time the Strategic Significance Because I Did I'd Kinda Grown Weary of Studying out Obvious Church History Doctrine Issues. I Really Just Want to Focus on Christ and His Love and I Wasn't Getting It There and so Became Kinda Difficult but I Enjoyed Enjoyed Kind of Teaching Lessons to Elder Squirm Arbitrator Focusing on Jesus Side. I Do Believe It Was before I Left My Heart Told the Story. I Think One of Our Conversations and All of Us Are Now New Matthews Well There Was a Time When I'm, I'm Still Struggling with This within This Clause Are Living at a Time to Go to Jump on When You're Lessons Probably Organists Spring or Summer 2004 Bridges Gone through a Miscarriage As a Couple Hundred Miscarried and Was Incredibly Difficult for Her Painful Hands off for Me As Well. Men's Greeting from That Return As a Couple to Navigate through That Payment and Still Connected with the Couple's DR Member in Your Mormon Head New Go to a Really Kind of Unhealthy Space and When Things like That Happen Sometimes Where You Think You Must've Done Something Wrong and You Must Not of Been As Faithful As She Should've Been without Happen to You and so That's Kind of the Headspace I Was in at the Time and I Was Just Notice Praying at the Times and to Know Whether I Was Accepting of God and Nobody the Publisher Stories during the Time That It's Kind of Touch on the Headspace That I Was in Various Things of the Characters Do and Say Things I Was Writing One Where a Character Realizes That He's Never Really Heard from God and That Was Representative of What I Was Going. The Timer on This. Realizing I Had Never Really Heard from God Anointed Preferred Mormon Witnesses Joseph Was a Prophet All That Years at That Point Utilizing a Really Heard from God and I Remember Thinking That It Was Odd That I Had Never Dreaming about Jesus Because Jesus Had Been Really Important Really Important Part of My Life for a Very Long Time about Way and I Had Never Dreamed about Jesus That Was Weird Because Gordon about All Kinds of Stuff Seem Things to Know and Secure on Things Mundane Things Now and Never about Jesus and Remember Mentioning That the Handling of That up about Estranging One of Our Late Night Conversations and Just Kept Just Kept Praying. No Fibers. If I Was Accepting of God and One Day When into the Bedroom to Lay down to Nap and Close the Door behind Me Examples Out Of Her Room with the Budget Is Never More Than Supposed to Remind Them Identity Nap and As I Was Laying There I Heard a Voice Whisper My Name.

Sounded like It Was Right Next to My Ear and on. I Have Bags Close My Thought John Must've Missed Angela Coming in the Must've Dozed off and Initiative in Chart Would Be up Now so My Eyes and There Is Nobody There.

The Door Was Closed, but That's Weird to Hear Your Voice Say Your Name so I Close My Eyes and WebEx Try to Direct Sleep Ends Her Divorce Dad but You Know That's Really Weird. Not I Got up Out Of Bed and Walked toward the Door Just Kind of the Snout through the Hallway to See What Angela Was Doing a Computer That They Were out in the Front Room Watching TV and Playing around Here so I Close the Door, the Vatican's Was a Weird Experience but Never Seriously Been like That for the Vending. I Don't Know How Much Longer How Much after That It Was Meager to Me Is I Don't Know the One Night. I Have a Dream That I Was Walking up the Hill and so When I Was on My Mission.

There Was a Hill in Buda Where I'm Assuming Church and on Had Set up, Extensions of Each of the 12 Apostles Leica around Hill in the Walkway around the outside of the Top and along the Walkway. There Were Statues of Each of the 12 Original Positive Jesus and at the Top There Were Three Crosses and This Normally Would Make Negative I'd Kinda Stumbled onto That One Day Will Reroute Attracting and Knocking on Doors and Remember Is Critical. Stacy Dalman the Middle of the Steel and so It Will Have the Street in What I Do Dreamed I Was Walking up This Similar Hill and Got to the Top and Needs Little Doubt and There Were There Was Jesus Hanging on the Cross and That the Same Voice That I Heard Trying to Come out Said My Name, and Evidence in Your Mind and I Thought A Lot I Don't Want to Make of It. That's Kind of Stuff/That I Think That Was Saved before the Otis Churches Because of That Experience and Observe Everything. It's A Lot Of Great Stuff Maybe and Maybe We Can. Is There Any Final Thought You like to Say or Think We Were Talking.

Another Episode Ends and Carbon Got Here about the Fears That Are Involved in This Church and Making a Transition into Broader Christianity. One of the Things That Really Can Open up When He Laughed As I Know Really When We Left at Every Mention of the Fact That I Kinda Grown Weary of Studying out Obvious Church History Issues and Doctrinal Issues and Policy Issues and When We Last. It's like the World Opened up to Me. I Suddenly Had Desire to Study. I Was A Lot.

I've Always Been Someone Who Studies Things out and Wants to Learn As Much about Things That Can and Will Be Left Is like the World Opened up to the Otis Churches Teachings on the Great Apostasy and How Broader Christianity Is Apostasy.

My Fear about Sitting Too Much about Other Churches or Extra Christianity and and Really That There Is a Sense in Which I Felt like It Was.

Not My Right Is the Obvious Church Has Its Genesis 1930 and Select Everything before That Is Broken so Why Would You Look at and I Remember Making a Comment to Someone Online Because They Were Very Surprised at How Quickly I Made the Transition from Studying Mormonism so Deeply and This Was This Person Is Common to the Sum of Private Discussion Group with Me Process and I Met in Person and Become a Friend of a Comment to Me like You're Making This Transition like Really Fast to Jump Headfirst into Studying out Christianity and Was like Yeah about No Psych. All of That History All about Doctrine Is Mine Now. It Wasn't before It Was Broken. I Didn't Touch It, but It's All Mine Now, but I Decided to Look at a Negative Reason. Think about It and so I Think What I Would Say Is You. The World Is out There and There's Some Really Amazing Stuff in Historic Christianity. Whether It's in the Writings of Augustine's Confessions Orients the Writings of St. John of the Cross or Texts Experience the Martin Luther or John Calvin or Whoever Else Is A Lot out There Is Just Waiting to Be Discovered RA While Thank You Very Much. Their Witness Hear Testimony of Christ.

You've Already Read Explain How You at Your Belief in Christ and Him and How He's How God Is Called You to Him Certainly Think You Fair Witness and That Prayer Sharing That with Us Today.

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