How to Handle Anger - Part 1

Welcome to the intense podcast for child and family for Thursday, October 6. People often harbor anger and bitterness and revenge for a long time. You, today's program helps you deal with these troubling emotions. Let's continue learning the keys to letting go of anger.

The measurable person is the size of the thing that makes them angry, what is it take to make you angry. Someone you really have to give it to you. Bad all the slightest little slighted remark make you angry. How much is it take to make you angry. What is it take to make you angry. What has to happen and when you find yourself angry. What you do about it. Several things you can do and we'll talk about that, but this is the third message in our series entitled letting go of anger and of the first message we talked about the simple question that is are you angry to help people find out whether they are not so think about that for a moment.

Anger is a strong feeling of intense displeasure or hostility or indignation. As a result of real or some imaginary threat or injustice and insult frustration toward yourself or somebody else that's important to you. Don't get angry over people not important. So when we think about that we think about where we are in life. The fact that all of us have the capacity to be angry God gave us the capacity and all of us have been and probably will be many times before we die. And the question is not if we will be anger.

The question is what are we gonna do about it because you see the Bible doesn't say that anger is a sin. What makes it a sin is how you and I respond to those feelings. So in this message we want to talk about this whole issue of how do we handle it. How do we handle anger so I want you turn if you will to Ephesians chapter 4 and the I want us to look at the last few verses in the 26th and 27. The rest we looked at before. When he says be angry and sin not explained that the let the devil get the best of unit. Then he says in the 29th verse of this fourth chapter revisions listen to what he says.

He says let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word is is good for edification of building up someone according to the need of the moment so that it will give grace to those who here watch this. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for their redemption. That is, if we don't do what he says in the 29th verse and we can end up doing what happens in the 31st verse 20 says let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you versus a very clear that as we go through these passages of these messages. It's very clear in Scripture that God is addressing this issue of anger now how do people usually handle anger well they handled one of several ways. They will either handle it by repressing it, which simply means they did. Now that it's even there you meet people oftentimes to say no I'm not angry, but I'll remind you again.

A person who allows anger to persist in their life.

It begins to show in their eyes, and you will hear in the voice of person who is angry given to anger and given to those kind of results that happened in the human body in the emotions it shows in their eyes you can hear it in their voice, they cannot hide it. It's very evident because it's affecting every part of the body, and all their emotions and it's affecting their relationship to Christ, so sometimes they repress and say no it's not there or sometimes they suppress they know it's there, but they refuse to deal with it and refusing to deal with it only makes it go deeper and the damage becomes more harmful and often times it spreads further and further. Then of course some people the way they handle, they just have these outburst and is like the shotgun going off and they make this big explosion is big noise and shattering everything around. And then sometimes people just give excuses. They say well this is just the way I am. No, that's the way you become. Although, say, or God may be that way he doesn't make people that way they choose to become angry or somebody says will just have a short fuse with its short, you made it short. God doesn't give you a short fuse and so people have all kind of excuses all one way you can handle.

Anger is by self control over the work of the Holy Spirit in your life, being quiet and submissive and allowing God to enable you to respond in the proper fashion. So here's what I want to ask you to do.

I want to ask you to be wise enough to consider these suggestions that I'm going to make that will help you deal with anger and what I want to help you do is to do this and that is build up your defense mechanism so that you don't find yourself embarrassing yourself hurting others, hurting your family, your husband, your wife and children. By the way you act and by the way you respond, you do not have to respond in the wrong way, even when it is absolutely love this asked through in your life. You do not have to respond in the wrong way. So be wise enough to write these down.

They will be a defense and be a mechanism that you can use to help you with the ward off becoming angry and bitter and resentful and hostile and all the rest. And so the first step is theirs and that is you have to confess your anger and if as long as you did. Not that it's there by simply repressing it. No, I'm not angry it continues. And remember this. Whether you acknowledge it or not, the poison keep sleeping in your body is still affecting every aspect of your be so some people tried to deny and to deny it only prolongs it. It only deepens it and it only increases the damage in your life and it's interesting that young lady walked up to me.

She sat down quickly. She said Dr. Stan that I've been angry all my life. She just said I'm angry have been angry all my life. She said it three times. Well, she's feeling it and I'm rejoicing because she's taken the first step to get rid of it and that is the tell somebody. I am angry and this what you said. I've been angry all my life.

You know what that means.

She's never been happy in her life. She's never had peace in her life. She's never had joy in her life. She's saying she's become a Christian. She wants to do the right thing. She's trying to live a godly life but there's something deep down inside that's turning away down. She probably knows one or more reasons why she's angry and probably would love to know how to deal with it. So she says I'm listening. I'm grateful I'm going here. All of this because it's been in my life all my life you'd be surprised at the people have the same feeling she does.

And remember, you can't be happy you can have peace. You can even be satisfied you with your relationship to Jesus Christ you may be saved and know that but deep down inside this peace and joy and happiness and all the rest.

Tranquility of so that he promises is not there because anger turns and I'll show you description a moment. Anger is churning away in your life.

If it's still there so the first thing you have to deal with is this whole issue of confessing. Secondly, you have to identify the nature of the source of that is where is this coming from because if a person will stop and think for a moment, you can identify.

Usually when did that start what happened in my life what's really going on and you see if you don't identified in the source of it and you are angry you going to express it in more than likely you going to express it on somebody who knows nothing about your past who did nothing to you but since you're angry. What happens is you spell it around because you cannot keep it to yourself. This is why it's so important you understand who is this your angry toward and why do you think it is there. Then of course the third thing is the purpose in your heart to deal with it quickly and you recall what the Scripture says here in Ephesians and he says don't let the sun go down on. Therefore, because if you give the devil an opportunity here is rather deeper and deeper and do more damage to you and oftentimes the people you love very much.

So you have to purpose in your heart to deal with it and some others as well. Your passion about as a retreat you that you don't know where I've been and and I've had my opportunities to be very forgiving. Believe me, because people will dump on you oftentimes what has nothing to do with you, but somehow they got to get it on somebody they got transferred to somebody. And when they do, you just have to deal with it properly and what you want to do is you want to deal with it quickly said to let the sun go down. That does not mean that some instances of pain-and-suffering as we said some of the running of your child.

That doesn't mean you don't go to bed with that and say well I gotta get rid of this. By the time the sun sets no but at least you acknowledge it and at least you acknowledge I have to deal with this because you do not want to live your life with anger toward somebody and oftentimes people angry toward people who've already died and habited times around that people in the ministry, church members, for example the years who were still angry at their father, who died 10 years ago, and he's gone is out of the light but is not out of the life while he person is out of the life their anger toward him keeps him there, punishing themselves over and over and over again very important that we deal with it last and just get all out of sorts and then of course do not sin.

Some medicines will have you been angry and not sin, because if you could not be he would not have said the angry and do not sin.

Don't let the sunset on it, which means deal with it yet within immediately. Now, what makes it a sin, angry feelings, a natural and normal.

Sometimes anger when it's responded to properly is very important because he gets you up and get you moving to get you doing something that needs to be done. And so when he says do not sin is sin is not in the feeling of anger is what I do with our technology and I will deal with it and so I deal with it that Jesus never sin, but was he angry, you better believe he was you read the account of Jesus in the temple he was turning over coops and running people out and I'm sure he didn't say a young get out here.

He didn't say that he was raising his voice and he was deeply angered and what he was angered about was not what they were doing to him. He saw them cheating and lying and misrepresenting and keeping people out of the temple worship so he saw what was happening and he was very angry when he your call with a man who had the withered hand and the Pharisees were stand around saying what are we going to see if he heals them on the Sabbath will yes he did and he call them hypocrites. And if you read the 23rd chapter of Matthew, how many times he call the Pharisees, hypocrites and army. Jesus was an angry man because of what he sold them doing to the people he thing laws and rules on them misinterpreting the Old Testament because it kept them in power that he sin, though he did not because none of that was because of what they did to him. For them, and doing other people. If Jesus became angry in the wrong way.

Where do you suppose he would've been the angriest of the cross with the say father forgive them for they know not what they do.

So it's possible to be angry and not sin then of course one of the best. The suggestions I like to pass on is this and that is take a timeout now. What I mean by that. Well, when you face somebody says something or does something you feel it, no. Then if you does visualize a stop sign. You know it's red, white letters, you know what that is. Stop that is stop right then and there and pause. Don't say anything, don't do anything because more than likely a quick reactions. What a quick reaction is going to be the wrong thing to say.

So you stop you pause and let them say everything they want to say that I'm saying or if it's something that is happened in that person's not there, but all of a sudden you hear about it every somebody she is really told something about you that is totally disastrous. How do you respond you semi-have a right none on the forget who you are. You're a follower of Jesus. And so we are responsible to respond in the proper fashion and that's why you stop you don't say anything and you practice what God practices turn to the hundred and third Psalm. For example, and I want you to notice the this passage hundred and third Psalm and the if you will look in the eighth verse.

Here's what you will find he says the Lord is compassionate and gracious, that is compassionate, caring and gracious this it is slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness.

That is, God is slow to anger.

If you turn over to James for example, and of the first chapter and the 19th verse listen what he says watch this another three words I want you to notice he says 19th verse this, you know, my beloved brethren but everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger and what is he say when you hear something that would normally get you angry.

He said quick to hear, that doesn't mean there was and to hear properly and to hear accurately what's really being said or what's really happened, quick to hear, slow to speak, that is, don't just let it blow out and defend yourself, slow to speak, slow to anger the Bible so accurate. He did not say don't get angry. He said, slow to anger because sometimes there is that immediate feeling of anger that comes when somebody has mistreated you maybe and you feel it.

So to say all, no, no, no, never feeling anger at all, or you because the truth is God made us he made us to feel anger for some good reasons. It's how we handle it. And so James says here quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, so as you think about how you respond. Nobody knows how you respond but you but if you are thinking of you. Just remember that it's very important that you and I respond in the way he gives. He suggested we do now, so the thing about being slow to respond.

Watch this carefully if the other person is accusing you falsely about something and you are in the process of defending yourself then you have this mixture of words you said. He said she said he said he said she said and so nobody is listening than anybody. So the person is accusing you they get more frustrated and more angry toward you because what they think you did.

And the more you talk the more angry you get all you have been just one big angry mess and nothing comes out of that so if you don't say anything and you just let them get it out.

Several of them want to say to you, then when they finish you say is there anything else solicit quick to hear, slow to speak, because if you start talking back fast or talk back to defend yourself while they're talking. You have now. There was, numbers you can't think about what's happening except your hearing on this whereas if you are quiet and you were silent while they're doing the talking is what happens in the spirit of God in you is going to allow you to be able to discern what are they saying what's motivating them why they act in this way, what do they think I've done. I don't even know that person or they misinterpreted what you see you thinking no matter what they say you can think many of you talking you can't think accurately about what's really happening is very important when you're not face those things that we face them was thank you for listing department and how to handle anger if you'd like to know more about Charles Stanley or in touch ministries that my intense data writing podcast is a presentation in touch ministries Atlanta, Georgia