How to Handle Anger - Part 2

Welcome to the intensified Catholic child Stanley Taylor. Seven. How do you deal with anger and hostility in a godly way. Dr. Stanley offer some guidelines from Ephesians chapter 4. What is it take to make you angry. Someone you really have to give it to you. Bad all the slightest little slider remark make you angry. How much is it take to make you angry.

What does it take to make you angry. What has to happen and when you find yourself angry. What you do about it. So here's what I want to ask you to do. I want to ask you to be wise enough to consider these suggestions that I'm going to bake that will help you deal with anger and what I want to help you do is to do this and that is build up your defense mechanism so that you don't find yourself embarrassing yourself hurting others, hurting your family, your husband, your wife and children. By the way you acted by the way you respond, you do not have to respond in the wrong way, even when it is absolute of this asteroid in your life.

You do not have to respond in the wrong way.

So be wise enough to write these down. They will be a defense. It would be a mechanism that you can use to help you with the ward off becoming angry and bitter and resentful and hostile and all the rest.

And so the first step is this and that is you have to confess your anger and if as long as you did.

Not that it's there by simply repressing it know I'm I'm not angry it continues. And remember this. Whether you acknowledge it or not, the poison keep sleeping in your body. It's still affecting every aspect of your baby. Then of course clarify and analyze a situation that is you need to ask some questions because you have a right to ask some questions, especially of something that is painful and hurtful. So let me give you a group of you might ask these questions ask and there was why people do the things they didn't try to hurt you. Sometimes what you have to ask is first of all, are they motivated by hurt in their own life.

Somebody hurt them all day responding to you because of hurt in their own life.

So you have to ask the question have a been hurt by something is something going on their life. Secondly, you might ask the question of a frustrated you know when you get frustrated at something, the frustration means sums not working out the way I intended to be and so is this person frustrated. Another question you might ask is, are they feeling insecure about something is something in their life.

It's going on that's making them feel insecure and what they're doing instead just sort of bitten on you know what not necessary that you have anything to do with it but it's inside of them and they have to deal with it. Another thing is jealousy. Think about half of this jealousy is is so empty and so full is jealous of what because she's been looking and you are you can change that but here's what the Bible says I con man is attracted the same thing AAA at, but what you have to ask is why is this person angry towards you, ask yourself the question why my is because of an hurt or sometimes because of something the other person has done or something that happened in you. Years ago, and you've never gotten over it and now it pops out is the thing about you can't hide it very long. You.

You may hide it for a short period time but not really. And so what happens is if you're angry it's coming out and you think about now living in the household. If you got children.

For example, you think they'll know the kids are so smart.

God's given the child his intuition. A child of this with you. Careful about not they know what your anger, not with you love them and not what you think they're in the way are not there was that's the way God made him now the truth is, in some areas of life. We should never grow up. We should always be that sensitive about things around us of what's really going on. So you have asked yourself the question, why you angry frustrated tiresome. I was on this and somebody's on that.

So you want to get to that root core of what's really happening, and then I've said this in a different way and that is deal with the problem deal with don't want you to say, and most folks say well I'm going to, whenever anybody tells me I'm going to add a little while for that. So if you come to me and some you need to you so I'm going to my next question is when and so do several I'm going to deal with his anger.

One of these days well one of these days. Listen, you said that in 2000, you were going to deal with it and still there so you have to deal with it.

You have to choose not to let something continued in you that is in the process of destroying you and your relationships, and absolutely fouling up your relationship to Jesus Christ. So you have to deal with that. Now I want to show universal scripture that very clearly tells you what's going on in your life right now while you still have anger turn of the 30th chapter of Proverbs and the here is a very clear description of what is happening to every single person right now who's angry Mel had to explain one part of this verse because kids will not. Maybe somebody will all of the kids will understand this because the day you go to the store and you just buy a pound of our stickup this with this passage says 33rd verse of this 30th chapter for the churning of milk produces what butter and pressing the nose brings forth blood.

What's this, so the churning of anger produces strife. A person who is living in strife is not happy person living in stress and you can be busy and impressing people. Whatever it might be if you got strife inside of you is going on and on.

Anger is churning.

Churning introduced like churning butter was that Ms. going round and round and what happens the milk when you turn it it finally gets hard. Produces butter and what have you watch this when you allow anger to get turned in your life. It produces something else that starts with a billion.

It's what bitterness bitterness as a destroyer. Bitterness will make you ugly you say well I don't know us are not well attempted to give you several time to look in the mirror we reflect who we are and we reflect what we think we reflect the true insides of us and he says that like the churning of butter, what is it doing is producing bitterness in a person's life so you have to ask yourself the question regarding the churning going on in your life now. The next thing is this whole idea of ventilating somebody says where the best way to get rid of anger is to get it out and watch this. That is exactly true in some medicines will just let it if you angry. Just let it all hang out and just blow it out in this. Don't worry about it. That is not true because the ventilated means that you're going to express it but just express it all over the place does you absolutely no good because, listen once you've done that. What if you done his what you've done. Once you just share it, blow it out. You may feel better for the moment, but you haven't cured anything you haven't settled in the thing you've just said it and said instead and set it your way. So I want to give you a suggestion of how the relay let it all hang out. You want to hear that is how you do it you get by yourself in your bedroom in your closet. Prayer room, restroom, or wherever you see it by yourself bested. Nobody can hear you you're alone open the word of God and get on your knees and then you just tell God anything you want to tell him you got. I can't stand them. Lord, they have wronged me. I don't like him I can't stand him.

I hope I never see him again.

I don't care what happens.

The armies tell him anything you want to tell them you think will gotta get angry nor the Bible says he very slow to get angry. First of all he knows what you think he knows how you feeling. He knows exactly how you feeling and why you feeling better way. He knows if some of that may be slightly legitimate, but he knows that what you doing what you say you getting it out if you're going to get it out. Listen carefully headed out with God by yourself you haven't heard anybody else, and you have an acted like a fool in the Bible says that anger listen anger rest. It's there in the bosom of a fool. So what you've done. You got that out and the does that settlement no. But if you're on your knees and you see he was there what you mean to tell me that I'm to get on my knees and act like I'm going to be sanctimonious. No, get on your knees and say what you feel and then ask God to work in your heart to forgive you for your angry feelings and to help you to deal with that and what I'm doing in this message is just giving you some ideas of different ways to deal with it. Depending upon the situation or circumstance you're going through. I know they work but if you got a talent, tell it to God and tell it by yourself in the right and the right anything you want to say to then put it away, so much so how you put it away. It's been in my life a long time. What if you couldn't in these verses would be in the Bible so once you look in the Ephesians 431 for a moment and look what he says here in Ephesians 431 then we go to Colossians Ephesians 431 let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice of that word.

Edward put away means the lift up and toss it. That is, it doesn't belong. Look at the traveling companions of anger here, bitterness, wrath, clamor, slander there was, put it away and if you're a believer you have within you the power of the Holy Spirit to say and to lay it down got out of want that in my life and I choose to lay it down by your grace and love and goodness now decimal things you have to deal with. You can't that's not the end of the issue, but that's a major part of it you put it down now turn to Colossians chapter 3 a moment and I want you to look at a passage here and the listener what he says in verse 12 of chapter 3.

So as those who have been chosen of God. That's all of us, holy and beloved, put all our heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience will look at that contrast between Ephesians and Colossians put know that that word means to clothe yourself with the other word also means stripping away that is is a Greek word stripping away get rid of it.

Get rid of anger and bitterness, and clamor and all that but when it comes to kindness and love and gentleness you clothe yourself or that that's who you are, so there is a difference and if he didn't mean that you could put it away. He would never say that.

What is a maintenance by the power of the spirit of God. There is within you the power to lay it down. Then of course the next thing I would suggest is to replace it may so remember that well when you get really angry. How do you replace that with his what you do you see anger is a form of energy and the good thing about anger is this. If you direct that energy in the right direction. It can prove to be profitable. For example, you get fired up and angry and I mean you just up to here and it well you could just blow off and say a lot of things. All you could go wax your car or you could go to the golf range, put his name on it and you I'm telling you right now just the best shot you overhead. I'll have to admit that I had a few deacons in the past, put it down now. Our best swimming or you go clean that you close it lady.

I mean, some you been trying to do for long time and I'm so mad I'm telling you all will clean this place out.

Now I'm not saying ladies go shopping that's not going to do any good. All you got. If it's between you and your husband you, this intensified anger business. You don't go shopping all listen, you can do many things, and have somehow been just go get into it whatever it is read channel that energy because, listen, you've already decided you're not going to blow off and this energy is insane. You said get rid of it. Replace it. What about determine the benefits of any benefits of being angry. Yes they are. When you become angry at one thing you know pretty soon there's something wrong inside. Something inside needs to be dealt with. So that part makes a good because it's like a barometer uselessly was going on. A second thing good about this.

This that God placed anger in our hearts. He makes it possible for us to be angry so because sometimes it's the anger that makes is get up and move and make something happen and here's something that you been wanting to see happen and so unserved it hasn't done it in and your angry about it. You just get a dissolve fixed I go do it myself. So we have to determine the benefits and it's a good benefit. Then, if the purpose in your heart to prevented from reoccurring.

You say, are you telling me that I can I can think something in my life. So the never angry again.

No, I would even want to start right but we can prevent the wrong responses to anger you say will. How can you prevented.

We here's how you can prevent and I want to scare you can prevented by deciding how you going to respond when you feel anger, no, you can decide if several men that stops on business that's simple enough me to remember that when I feel anger, no stop you.

You want to say but you don't say it and you remember the Bible says, listen carefully, slow to speak, slow to anger don't speak it all other words, you can decide how you going to respond when you feel anger, no and then decide how you going to respond to that person, or to that situation, you can decide how to respond. It's a choice we make, then I would simply say you have to do is look at these and decide what you which ones you want to choose and then the last thing I would say today is the stairway from angry people you say well know how you do that well. If you look in the Proverbs 22 for a moment. Proverbs 22 God's not going to tell us to do something we can't do. But when talking about if his essay. For example, you work around somebody all. Primarily, I think what is referring to here is friendships that his will is look at the verse and see what it says in verse 24 says do not associate with a man or woman given the anger or go with the hot tempered man or woman that you don't know what that says don't go with one that means don't date him to start with, and secondly don't keep going and don't marry him because what happens is is what happens are you will learn his or her ways and find us never yourself. God is very clear about what he says about anger.

That's all I'm going to do with the day that the two more absolutely essential parts of dealing with anger, but I didn't want to jam it in here and cram it into this group and not handle it adequately that two of number one is forgiveness and number two is reconciliation. That's not a choice. I have you and I have a responsibility before Almighty God.

There was if I refuse reconciliation and refuse to answer forgiveness. I cannot but who I am. I cannot be right with God.

Though matter what, but will deal with that in the next message because there's a lot to it.

I agree some things not easy to forgive is the so I forgive you. A lot of people think they have forgiven people think they have forgiven, but they haven't forgiven. Things are still turning on the inside and so will deal with that. But I want to say to you if you've never trusted Jesus Christ as your Savior. All of this would be difficult for you because then you gotta depend upon your strength and your power and your energy and within you. When you have been wronged everything in you wants to make it right make somebody else make it right. What is it began. It begins with a simple faith in Jesus Christ, the son of God, who certainly demonstrated how to deal with those situations and circumstances. He had plenty of opportunities to be angry in the wrong way, but he was not all of us do in all of us will and I want to encourage you to ask Christ to come into your life and to enable you to be set free.

You are in bondage. If you living with anger and I want to see out of bondage, you can get out of bondage and be a free person free from anger and free from these things that are destroying you and keeping you from being the happy, prosperous, loving person you want to be in there. Many people who really want to do what's right and want to be was right but they don't know how if you shut Jesus out of your life and try to settle these issues. Your margin down a dead-end street because you cannot you see it's all for your good that we plead for you to deal with your life in relationship to Christ. Thank you for listening to 11 how to handle anger if you'd like to know more about Charles Stanley for InTouch ministries and TextEdit OIT.

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