#429 "Who are you hiring to care for your aging loved one?"

I live in your will. You'll know will with you Joe this you will you do it with the child, especially dealing with someone traumatic event or illness, or so forth. Maybe you dealing with somebody with alcoholism or addiction in their life. Either way, whatever the chronic impairment there's always a caregiver. And that's why were here today with you if you would like to be a part of the show. We'd love to have you. It is the number varies. Call 877-655-6755 877-655-6755 and probably watching this well on social media through a Facebook page and others. It's hope for the caregiver on Facebook were glad to have you with us and you can always find more and hopefully caregiver.com all right.

92% 92% of people interviewed say that they want to age in their own home housing to be possible in this day of the coronavirus. What are some of the challenges that are facing these particular issues of aging home taking care of your aging level once or if something happens they have to go to a rehab center that you can't see them there a lot of different dynamics going on here. So I asked a friend of my longtime friend Elizabeth Moss who is the founder and CEO of caregivers by healthcare Nashville, Tennessee, and her company has been around for some time little Elizabeth has a very lengthy background of this machine was a nurse with alcohol and drug treatment and geriatrics. She's she's kind of done it all and she started this company and has been helping provide solutions to family struggling with these types of things. One was my family and me.

She and her team help take care of my wife and is asked as I said some years ago. I trust him with my life. I trust him with my wife and and so they are just an extraordinary group of individuals and she has been in the thick of this with all the changes that are going on with the coronavirus and everything else that's affecting our society. So Elizabeth, I'm glad you're with us. Thank you for being part of the show. Thank you, Peter always my pleasure to talk with you and help anybody that I can learn you know from our challenges that we learned from will you are have you or you are really literally in the thick of this, tell me what's going on right now that is new in current with in-home care in relation to the Cove in 19 all right now before I leave actually found some normal thing that because we have been and I think of performance now and the nurse. I do I show up well in a crisis and we actually started working remotely and having everything in place on March 13, though 45 solid week. I was in crisis mode working 10 identify and source PPE that mean PPE for I deadening ventilators. Obviously it mean go on math, hand sanitizer, I shield down the monitors all of that stuff yeah it took a bit to get well so the first thing we we always have glut because we have those on standby for caregivers or families that don't have any.

We had glad Ann and hand sanitizer was pretty readily accessible in the very beginning. However, with that that I remember which week it was that stapled offered by reached out to death. Did we need glad hand-they apparently had home care companies on their mind and they started reaching out.

However, I've talked at her home care companies that didn't hear from him so I don't know if that was the area. Our regional you know that a representative date.

Now it yeah it was safe got to know Lee had in a client probably had the monitors we went got another hate everything that often thinking that we each took our respective areas that we live and just went to all the drugstores and ticketed many thermometers that we could maybe thermometer and adult monitors just delete something though with that.

Sadly, initially put a policy in play. The caregiver checking the air temperature before they left their home and logging at and then when they got their client think that there temperature and lot though. Then we had the monitors can't love and we did find math.

We paid whatever we had to pay for them in the beginning, which was quite expensive. Many go inside because it under now he rested on the light blue yeah my dog did not think there okay no I yeah three things and I continued to work on getting. I shield the more mass reusable.

Lastly, we got in 95 math and those are reusable, they signed wind to each caregiver. Then they would when they were with each client that they were with they put that in a baggie with their name on it and it would stay in the client home. With that said, you know. Then there was an issue with client to really didn't want to caregiver he was working with somebody else to come to their home, so there were a few clients who really didn't need a whole lot to put the services on pause okay. You know they still were safe and they take care of themselves release that stayed in touch with them to just make sure that they were okay. Those sorts of clients are people who have minimal need. It's not to the point yet that they have to have a caregiver, because that would be considered level I care for us, which would be housekeeping parens meal preparation, grocery shopping sorts of things, and there were so many grocery units being delivered and meals being delivered that she could order to be delivered and so forth them anyway. People are still on top. However, other people have called and they've moved out of facility because they didn't want their loved one subjected to the masses, or not being able to see them so that mineral challenge back to the PPE.

It took 10 weeks before Canada 13 weeks the 13th. Whately finally got our down the can't wait. We finally got some thermometers from the state so no local, state and federal agencies reached out to home care company in general at all to see what we need in my thinking on this.

As a nurse and as a just proactive thinker is that you know, if you take that 92% of the people that are home and are the most vulnerable population to get that fire. It and you think about how to protect them and not to overwhelm the hospital. The healthcare system.

What you need to do well get them the PPE first, we don't need ventilators, we don't need what the hospital does so. We need the minimal supplies the very basic supply into the sea was out of the third slowed withdrawal or what what was what was going on to see for those things. Well, think anything was stuck that on the things they were out now tendency what stock that they prepared for an emergency that happened such as this, and I don't think that any state was or the nation.

Do you see changing that there will be no not just having supplies for mail but do you see them being forward thinking.

Well I would hope that you have any input of that within the your powerful member of this community. You now have clear and think Elizabeth Elwell, the Association of home care.

I would imagine is on top of this, I am not currently a member of the organization. I should probably reach out to them and see what going on there. Get the news update or something they'll have a fall conference and I usually go to that fall conference agenda mountain peak season at the only you can't get a reservation anywhere. The fall colors other than going to that conference. So me that this could be a big topic at the folks over at I would imagine yet fuzzy. I got the PPE's you right now that that particular crisis is averted or or lease that arises in as you know this, that was the second crisis in Nashville because we had a tornado is interesting because we all came together to help each other in the tornado and then week to 10 days later we were told to go home not be together so that was the second crisis and then Nashville.

We had 1/3 crisis which was we had a major storm and the largest power outage that we covered.

And so that is here for you. Hesitant, yes yeah so that impacted us because I got a call at 6 o'clock one evening.

That said, our client only had one hour of oxygen left. Well, I can't imagine being him in thinking and only have one hour of oxygen.

He had no power and he was on oxygen and that's all that was left until I got busy sending email through a particular network that I'm in EO its entrepreneur organization and within one hour I had a generator and had many thanks for sending it, and then he went in that yeah within that period of time I sit because he was unconscious, whereupon the thing that they provide the tank where our day and luckily family and hospice was communicating that they had not communicated to the den. At that point we could connect resources. So then hospice had brought him to tank to last him till 10 o'clock in the morning. I got the generator over there at 10 o'clock in the morning. We got his power hooked up and he was he was good.

So that was our third crisis and then of course you know the nations had a Ford crisis, which is the riots in and marching in, and so forth. And that becomes a crisis for because of our caregivers about how snow it it well first of all our caregivers are younger people, so that impacts everybody on a social level and I would say 90% of our caregivers are African-American or people of color, other color you know other nationalities, other ethnicities and so I felt a call, I felt inspired. I felt it was not my most responsibility to reach out to them once again and say I'm here. What can I do how can I help Philip that day. After I found out about that. The weekend it happened so anyway it has been, you know, a year I will let no one of impacts of this because I want. This is the level of experiences you have this really poor people understand who their listing to really listen to you because you are your cross section every bit of this drama the tip of the mesh will you doing. It was very little to serious, but the deer also intersected with families that are struggling with these decisions or make intelligent and talk about this more Rosenberg… Hope to talk with Elizabeth Lawson is the CEO of the whole fearless super larger. We live in this particular mobile and I want to share some thoughts overweight as a caregiver. Think about all the legal documents you need power of attorney will, living wills, and so many more then think about such things as disputes about medical bills. What if instead of showing out hefty fees for a few days of legal help paid a monthly membership and got a law firm for life. Well, we are taking legal representation and making some revisions in the form of accessible, affordable, full-service coverage. Finally, you can live life know you have a lawyer in your back pocket who at the same time is empty. It's called legal shield and its practical, affordable and a must for the family caregiver visit caregiver legal.com that's caregiver legal.com. Isn't it about time someone started advocating for you www.caregiverlegal.com on independent associate. Have you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you.

I'm Gracie Rosenberger in 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident, leading to 80 surgeries in both legs. AP take it.

I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me.

But over time, my questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God that understanding along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish standing with help more than a dozen years we been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis. We purchased ship equipment and supplies and with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison. We also recycle parts from donated limbs. All of this is to point others to Christ. The source of my hope and strength, please visit standing with help.com to learn more and participate in lifting others that stain without.com I'm Gracie and I am staining with help is going on with you. How are you holding up with all the things that are happening across the nation, but just with you in your community. This is affecting this is caregivers with your trying to juggle quite a few things and deal with questions that are coming at us in the number to call, but was 877-655-6755 877-645-6755 or talk with Elizabeth was below those mowers.

Gracie distinguishes new record.

Elizabeth she took care of the love the looks of the rejoice of a love lift up my voice, you know, in an oblique terms as you guys took care of Gracie.

There were times were it looked pretty dicey for her. Yeah, and you guys. Thank you for all the hard work you did on her behalf and that we've since moved up to Montana but Elizabeth is in the thick of it is brutal, but in the thick of all the stuff that's going on with Nashville but has been particularly hit hard this year with a lot of different things. The tornadoes with the coronavirus with the power huge power outage, and then with all the protestants of a project, and so forth. And she's been threading the needle of all these different things coming at her while having the responsibility of taking care of a lot of families who are struggling you looking for leadership and she set the table bill on why she could speak to this with such great authority.

Elizabeth people are panicked about sitting there love was to assisted living and so they really having to juggle bringing somewhat also would to their home to look after their love one, what are you finding what are you seeing and what are you what you will you saying into these things. When you do with families well so great music is beautiful as always settle. I wanted to say that Emily enjoyed working with her and you getting to know you also thank you for using. I trust hands resting there with my wife website. Hello, did you still use that yeah leave that great quote you Hassan some great plagiarism with regard to assisted living and moving versus not moving all if you're referring living specifically versus nursing home level of care or independent level of care.

I don't know if you're referring to all senior care facility or specifically assisted living but assisted living in that regards white male particular somebody said some type of medical incident with the go to go into some level of rehab or something of that nature. Okay, so here's our my experience just in the last few weeks with the I had a gentleman call me who has a mother-in-law who is 92.

She had fallen and broken several bones in her arm and she had gone to rehab well there quarantining people coming into rehab. So a 92-year-old coming from her home who was not in the best medical condition as far as needing support from someone like I felt like she was in a dungeon and that she had been stuck there because there were people around and according to her. Nobody was coming to ask her if she needed anything.

Well Kelly I believe we need a way out. Our benefit and risks because anytime we make a medical decision, a medication decision. A money decision. Whatever the decision is in our life. We way out. What is the risk versus the return and so that's important and could she be rehab at home. So that's the question the son-in-law was asking. And so I gave him the resources of income health.

After talking to the doctor about that you know could she come home and if she can be rehab and how well it her long-term wish to be at home when she passed did she want to get better to rehab or wish you were really ready to adjust the Comfortable, not just that to be kept comfortable and allow people to serve her and meet her where she is. That's one of our core value meeting people where they are. So those are the questions I would ask anybody and I did ask him to go back and ask her and then once you find the answers to those questions we have.

You know something on our we have a e-book called caring and sharing resource book and anybody can go to our website and sign up for that are newsletter to get fat and got some documents in there on having family meetings and so those quite those kind of questions are in their website is caregivers.

The whole care.com caregivers, but whole care.com and you don't have to live in the middle to the sea. The benefit she's got these resources on the website wherever you're listening to the show right now or in the future if you listen to the podcast.

Please take advantage of this because they've done the work for you of of anticipating some of these challenges and this is where you can get a little bit gnarly for families. We week because what happens is over so you get a phone call you're the middle of it and you don't know what to ask. You don't know who to trust. Elizabeth already laid this out for you. Would you please go out to caregivers, but whole care.com and take advantage of that was what they could get exactly and we have a resource page so we added some new resources element that all of the pandemic and that you know were not typically we have only local resources but that because you know were a local company that when it's information like this it it's national on the net.

It doesn't have to be local, so also our blog and our newsletter. Have you know pretty generic. It's hard geographic location information to help people will because those are going to treat you know those questions you want to.

Asking and helping okay. What's the philosophy, where we going from here. You will that come stuff that's nothing to change the matter what state you live in what state you find yourself in this emotional stage. Put yourself Colorado, yet it supported it away letter where that would be my first question, what are the long-term wishes have a family meeting. Find out what your loved one really want is capable of really needs and then what you and I want to day because you're not going to be able to go to your family long-term care facility. At this point and what I'm hearing here. It could be a year from now. That time that is in an and the year when you live with because what is 90 years old. You know time is that they asked him you know it really is and so that brings me back to where you guys are with in-home care and this is something that you were doing with my family doing some of these things were working hard. Eventually state home would come back from this journal joins us with a question like, okay, I was the boss of caregivers. Well hope you will actually be careful what she knows is believe it?

Rosenberg is your help somebody walk for the first time I've had the privilege many times through our organization.

Standing with hope when my wife Gracie gave up both of her legs follow this horrible Rick that she had as a teenager and she tried to save them for years and if it just wouldn't work out. And finally she relinquished up and thought well this is that I'm not heavy legs anymore.

What can God do with that and then she had this vision for using prosthetic limbs as a means of sharing the gospel to put legs on her fellow amputees and that's what we been doing now since 2005 was standing with hope. We work in the West African country of Ghana and you could be a part of that through supplies through supporting team members through supporting the work that were doing over there. You could designate a limb all kinds of ways that you could be a part of giving the gift that keeps on walking and standing with hope.com would you take a moment ago understanding with hope.com and see how you can give they go walking and leaping and praising God.

You could be a part of that@standingwithhope.com as a caregiver. Think about all the legal documents you need power of attorney will, living wills, and so many more then think about such things as disputes about medical bills. What if instead of showing out hefty fees for a few days of legal help. You paid a monthly membership and got a law firm for life. Well, we are taking legal representation and making some revisions in the form of accessible, affordable, full-service coverage. Finally, you can live life know you have a lawyer in your back pocket who at the same time is empty. It's called legal shield and its practical, affordable, and must for the family caregiver visit caregiver legal.com that's caregiver legal.com. Isn't it about time someone started advocating for you www.caregiver.com on independent associate and caregiver is look at the life of love that you were this was what what grace you see these resilient to use would be resilient if you want to get a cup of that city just what to hope for the caregiver.com.

Hope for the caregiver.com just click on the CD cover and would love to get that to you will talk with Elizabeth Moss of caregivers, but whole care. It is a company out of Nashville that she felt it many years ago was was a nurse who has a background in geriatric care course nursing and also with alcohol addiction, all of which we weave into this particular show and what we we focus on with these family caregivers dealing with these kinds of things but as of late. She has been put through the fire on dealing with multiple challenges during the middle of the coronavirus, but that also dealing with major natural disasters there. The Nashville area as well as a huge power outage that that really rocked the city and then all the protest and things going on with with this societal upheaval and as she said a lot of the workers that she has in her charge. The team come from African-American and other people of color who are working this.

Elizabeth is pulled her team together to weather that storm as well because all of these things affect us as is society. As employers and so forth. And she's really brought together to these things with a cohesive voice and then addressing this issue that family members are having that if you're if you're going to go to assisted living if it could be a year before you could get into see them any kind of normalcy. If you have a family were going there.

So these are hard heart issues for for families to deal with in in-home care is becoming more more increasingly important.

However, you can't just snap your fingers forcibly sings there has to be a conversation has to be a family meeting. There has to be yield funding in place and things such as that.

And so Liz was bringing her considerable experience of this Elizabeth.

We were told, but just before the break you a year when a kid I can imagine is that you would have your aging parents or whatever that are going to have to be sequestered away for you from you and their family. From everything they love and hold dear for a year hello how is that conversation going with it was with you when you're sitting to your see with the face with so my question caregiver essential workers which we are and we are able to go into facility either help them backup their staffing. We have one situation where we had three caregivers in their 24 seven. While their caregivers were out playing because somebody was potentially exposed in the building.

So now we are able to go and to provide care. So like the current situation we have it.

We think caring for this couple at home for many years they needed minimal care.

Until recently, and the family decided mom into assisted living and dad into the memory care at that facility. Well, two weeks prior to the move. Dad fell and broke his hip. Now he's been in the hospital. He had the surgery he and Bree had and he can't remember that he can't walk that has a broken hip. Now they're requiring them to have nighttime care to make sure that he didn't get out of bed and fall, which is already done twice. So for us it caregivers what that facility is requiring for us to do is to first of all, I have you know some of the things that we already have in place like a tepee and test background screen but they wanted to come in with a negative Cove in 19 test result and they are requiring that the caregiver be tested every week they're paying for that. That's fine, but lacking the family that so I encourage the listeners. They ask where. Where was the guy would call the social worker or the administrator anybody you can get on the phone to talk to you know if you have to start with the nurse to caring for your loved one there but the social worker conversations with family about the ability to come in and visit or not.

I would ask anybody that can go get a test and I'm negative, can I come in wearing all the proper PPE and what you will provide the testing every week.

You know, at the oncoming wave had to add on all these expenses in order to care for our clients and their caregivers. So I would imagine every level of the healthcare continuum will have to do the same and may be coded 19 test one of those things at the very simple test.

I went last week to get tested because I went to East Texas for the first time to be with family December and in East Texas. Nobody's wearing math and I was at a wedding rehearsal dinner where none of the workers in the restaurant were wearing math now the public pay when last nobody in the rehearsal dinner party and none of the 200 people who were at the reception and so I thought well you know I'm coming back into an environment that I want everybody to feel assured, not at risk.

So I went to simple. How was that I drove through the drive-through at CVS. They explained how he got them yet. I anticipate tomorrow. Sorry you I know I remember you tested me, but I was negative in the they were sure that I would have it, because of the proximity to her enemy and she would be. So for me that W is better to sit here ditto Caracas you could hear the no but I never got it but but the test is pretty simple but I think they're supposed to do a nasal swab thing up your nose when I was I was unaware that this was that I had to deal this robe for that. The minister what that was all about in the parking lot and appreciate that all know that you're getting married now and in Q-tips and has not been swab all the way up to your brain. You do it yourself so they they they have really figured out how to create a process in which is simple and people can do themselves.

You know, no contact intestine and so it's all well and good. Encourage the listeners that I'm going to start asking the facility when were in the family that we talk to ask the social worker if you can be cast every week so you can figure left one revolution that's a very good planning and we know it all and analyze what what kind of life are they having their being basically interred that I don't mean that you pejorative, but that's it. That's what it feels like to get that their being cut off from everything that they love and help the quality of life. But letting go here. What advice.

Besides that asking for testing.

What advice or counsel would you give to families who are trying to come to grips with this as far as you know mom wants to be at home. She will stay at home that doesn't just happen on the down there some things that have to be prepared for some conversations as we have what was, the what are some of the things that you would advise people well home care. First of all they need to ask the agent they what they're doing to protect their client from contracting Co. said. And so the recommendation I would make is that there taking temperature. They have a temperature policy.

Although now they said that is not an early indicator were still practicing that because it could become an early indicator again him because nobody knows exactly right now, so temperature log glove masks. We have reusable mask. Now the caregivers leave them in the back. Yet the client home and you know they can go in the laundry they can have filters inside but if somebody is positive, coded 19 then they need to wear a gown and and I masks I shield. I mean, and so people need to ask the agency third agencies out there don't don't have nurses on staff and said I don't know there probably just now this is for month figuring you know, figuring some of the doubt and we had it done in the first month. Those are the questions also how they're protecting their caregivers. Howard, how are people taking care of their caregivers. One of the things that pertinent right now as well is depending on the client need. How is the agency requiring the caregiver to only work for one client. This is something where addressing right now because in a high risk situation.

The caregiver needs to only work for one client well. The challenge with that is, caregivers need to make a certain amount of money to pay their own bills and feed their own family and that was the client willing to use that caregiver for more hours sometimes.

Then they really need to keep that caregiver and have that just them and keep them consistent to keep them exclusivity you are, but it at the you know the safety of your loved one other new things coming about, and home care with regard to the regard of caregivers because never in history have caregivers been seen as he rose and now where he rose where essential workers where where the people know this is broad and it been before. It has nothing to do with toasted but now everybody sees that as a result of it that if you go back to 90% of the people are at home caring for the people. Caregivers are, how do we keep people out of the hospital care giver because there taking people at half though we are the preventers of hospitalizations and rehospitalization or the preventers of the healthcare system being overwhelmed. I would say at the well and to put my money on that and working to continue being Medicare for the first time in history this year. January change law that link the starting for some home care because they realized were the least expensive disciplinary piece of the puzzle at the healthcare table. We are the ones to report and document what's going on in the home and put solutions in place so I think families need to think about enough the regard that we need to have caregivers unload the important role that they play, and in caring for our loved ones. It's no longer you know the industry accepted term has been sitters and a lot of people still use that term at been a pet peeve of mine for the 23 year, and we're letters yeah where professional engaged caregivers that care for our clients and want them to be cared for their highest and best will and this is something I will say about you before let you go here is that there a lot of services out there that people can contract with that.

All I'm asking if you're if you're in the middle Tennessee area you go to the website caregivers but hope your.com but if you're not and you want to see what what I think is the gold standard.

They go out and look at Elizabeth's site.

Look at the look at her company site and compare that to the company you're looking okay yeah don't don't ago but loved by lunch.

Just compare because she's do I know these people right but I don't dispute. They took care of my wife okay I know these people that I know that attention to detail that she brings it. I think it brings us such a huge difference of Elizabeth nursing background that I can testify that are not sitters I heard independently from before that vote caregivers. I've had people that would come over that were sitters about a sitters.

I mean, they set they just said they didn't do that you set there in that's not the case with what Elizabeth's team brings and what she is advocating for your loved one to understand that we were in the it unprecedented total bill and so it's very important that we do the homework before the crisis hits you know yes of prevention is worth a pound of cure. And if you could prevent some of the craziness that will happen when you get any situations you could be a much better situation was with. Thank you so much for joining us jobs become essential workers. John was able to buy cottage on his worker because you can be like this. Elizabeth Ball 0O yeah absolutely started out Marlo I would never say you're an old frivolous with longtime friend and no absolutely knows I talk on. There was a power outage is a natural on which is just outside Don power when outside of missed the first out for this, but came on in your fantastic good just wanted Elizabeth, thank you again for for joining us on this and just sharing your thoughts in the last one minute anything else less 30 seconds. Anything else you want to tell everybody to go tell her what I look for that e-book to sign up because there's some FAQs and they are asking other home care agency. There are some comparisons for home care and home health.

There's things to ask lots of information and expect great resource.

So please do yourself a favor and go look at that caregivers my whole here.caregivers but hope your.com is most appreciated and will have either we will live.co are you enjoying our podcast on John Butler and Michael please Peter, show hope for the caregiver since it began like to think that I'm responsible for the explosive growth the shows enjoyed. I'd like to think that but while Peter pays me not to. So let's move along all jokes aside though. I do have a great time with the show. We absolutely love it. In this podcast we not only publish things from the show, but also include special bonus materials. We really don't want to have a subscription section, but would rather make all of this great content available for 40 caregivers you can help us do that by clicking on the become a patron button for as little as a dollar a month you can be a part of the world's number one podcast for family caregivers.

There's all types of gifts that we love to give you depending on what your you like to join. Maybe it's five dollars, maybe it's time whatever you'd like.

Consider sponsoring this podcast today and help strengthen family caregivers and yourself. Thanks so much and remember healthy caregivers make better caregivers. John is in the caregiver home and whether the sea about doing the job the blood have you followed with this year we missed you, but power goes out. This would have about as go out and as were both working from home, need that for we got snow tomorrow from another student. Do you now, it's it was 93° here I was out on the river yesterday, Berkman sword, it's great will be 4 July rodeos here with the big parade prayed out here and they cancel that with the argument of the rodeo is cold… No went southwest 1/10 of the listing in the snow on 4 July we had some elevation stuff to you. We are we are apply, but we are. They were moving cattle up of the protesters into the forest. So I got to see that this week always loved it when they come through and that's a lot of fun. All the guys ripping the full cowboy regalia. The dogs are out working with their working dogs. Yeah, this is the river Sears is not Regalia this is this is their uniform because it has a foreclosure of the recalcitrance ball and hollered and slobbered there not sure what's going on with her head back up. What's funny is that at the end of the season.

October with the ring the bell tells bring themselves down from the mountain was told home gathered at the entrance there to the forest is think they graze up of the forest part of the BLM land management.

What they do and so forth of the for service allow cattle to graze up that which is good because it writes the address that fires willfully. You know, and over this for the customer they would listen to the last few minutes we have Jonah wanted to talk about. But what about last week with pain, and we deal with chronic pain management thereof, but I get a lot of calls on here on the on the show and love emails and contact them with. This is ongoing discussion when you're dealing with aging love what you close to the end of life were certainly in their twilight years.

You know what that what what was the right thing to do for families and I don't know that I can say what the right thing to do is I think that's a little bit presumptuous need to say under the right think of anything, talk about this a little bit last week that we can't can't tell you the right next step or anything like that but we can tell you that everything is going to be different and that you need to know that there might be a framework that you go out in a couple things to pay attention to like the wishes of the patient is one of these things if they're not if they're compromised in some way, they might not be able to give you those wishes. So what you do that with Dr. Stetzer flowchart I can't necessarily tell you the right thing because I like judges that we do everything fisheries could be different. I can tell you what I believe is probably the wrong thing to do the wrong thing to do is to seek out advice from politicians before medic for medical professionals. You don't think that is a in my situation what what what I feel like is a healthy approach is that there are several disciplines that you can involve in this pastoral clergy psychological of mental health professionals. All these are professionals and medical professionals.

I think that keeping this off of the out of the political stream is a healthier approach because these are people that are trying to deal with these types of issues and I have failed that most of the better ones and more qualified ones and more astute ones are going to want to have a collaborative approach comes to you as this is the right way by God. But yeah, I got a bridge to sell your you know, and I was at church so they are probably selling something exactly yeah so there's music and in the middle of of grief. We are incredibly vulnerable and there you will take revenge about an and in and do it is just an and and they will use it to further their own agenda as opposed to walk into the grief with you and and there are medical professionals and mental health professionals and clergy professionals who not only willing to put consistently demonstrate that they're willing to go with her because it these are hard decisions. And the thing that I don't what I think this is what prompted this is the sky: the show would 20 years after the fact.

John 20 years, he still wrestling with this with his three-year-old father who passed away the end of giving of the nurse Say we need Gibbs morphing leaves more for his sister to do that and then according them. The father died within 24 hours of of the sister relenting to the morphine drip of morphine injection that yet there are a lot of holes in the store that I don't know until you is old looking at Garza but I say that 20 years after the fact, it is still a fact that this guys troubled by the incident, exactly. It doesn't matter what actually happened at this point matters that he still is dealing with.

Yeah, the grass has grown on the grave that he still dealing with and so these guys are caregiver modules for for you as a listener for the show and there's a kiss as my fellow caregiver. My goal is this for myself is that what ever we do this we do it with eyes wide open with as much knowledge as we kid and knowing that were doing the best we can with what we have at our hands to do so that 10, 15, 20 years were not from that were not a prisoner to that decision. I think that is something that that that is driving a lot of this intensity from me on this because I see too many caregivers that are still living in the guilt or the, the shame of the frustration or the anger or the resentment of something that happened a decade prior that they don't know that they were doing the best he could with exactly and that's life. I see people what is this guy doing over here half the time is it is best is doing his best to just let it happen, but don't doubt what what you're saying, what not to do and what not to do is how we how do we keep people from living in that guilt, how to keep people from your how we help them out of her from out the frustration a 20-year-old. Whatever you keep talking about this that we can show because I think this is where caregivers live feel guilty for things we've done, we feel guilty for things were doing and we feel guilty for things we had even done yet.

So that that kind of stuff is where we live is caregivers and so what to want to just keep discussing that and welcome your thoughts with others. All because the flesh it out there and when we talk about this caregiver and seven caregiver limited. Please go what they got home scrub reportable.com