Trusting God When Times are Hard (Part 1 of 2)

Today's guest on Focus on the Family's Crystal Evans hurst. She offers hope for those who are hurting, you still can have in the midst of the best of times and the worst of times. The right perspective in the right perspective changes everything. There is more encouragement ahead from Crystal, thanks for joining us today your hostess focus president Dr. Jim Daly and on job had Crystal visitor Studios here in Colorado Springs twice over the past few years once with her dad. Our good friend Dr. Tony Evans Crystal is a very dynamic speaker answer today were featuring a presentation that she gave to a big crowd at a women of joy conference and I think you'll hear echoes of Tony and her speaking style. Yes, she really does have energy and that passion comes through and I Crystal is a blog or a podcast or in the author of the book. She's still there, rescuing the girl in you. We have copies of that of course is swing by the website to see more and I should note that Crystal is a homeschooling mom and also the grandmother with that, here's Crystal Evans hurst speaking at women of joy as you said Jim in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina on today's Focus on the Family. I love to be in a room of women love Jesus and who are taking the opportunity to be in a room with women who also love Jesus because something happened when women get together to sing praises to let it all hang loose and to just a good time. Are you having a good time so far the I'm so glad to be here with you. My husband and float around somewhere in the building. Normally I leave them home with our boys and they are all happy that I'm gone because then they do things that they don't think I know about, but I know I CDF folded up cereal boxes in the trashcan. You know the frosted flakes that I don't buy the cocoa puffs. I don't buy the Lucky charms that I don't buy the wrapper from the honey buns. I know what they're doing when I'm not there. I always just ask him hey when I come back and just make sure that everybody's alive and so I'm really grateful to him is the time for sharing me and letting you borrow me for a weekend or two here and there, but this weekend is with me.

I just wanted to honor him. We have five children from ages 3213. I don't know how that's possible because I'm not even 30 yet, but whatever.

We also have 3 1/2 grandchildren. We have two boys still at home. Everybody else is either in college or out of the house and the two boys are teenagers. I have teenagers in the house and I am happy about it.

What I always tell them, though, is that when they are looking at me like like and I really do believe that there is a point in the lives of young people where when you're the mom, especially when you're dealing with those of the male species.

It doesn't matter what I say all they hear is wall wall wall wall wall and they give me these crazy looks like they don't really understand what I just said and then I make sure that I tell them you're the one who's crazy not me me. You're the one with the raging hormones are the ones try to figure out who you are.

You're the one that is try to figure out what you're going to do when you get all the freedom in the world to leave our house but I actually am not the crazy when you are that's okay I love you anyway dear lady that I don't know in an elevator. One day was asking me about the ages of my children and I told her the time Otis was 13. She said can I give you some advice giving this advice for free. Yes it sure she said just feel sorry for her. I said what you mean to say what would you want to go back and go through all that.

Probably not. She said exactly so whatever it is, just tell her I'm so sorry that you have to be on punishment this week about I love you so sorry you don't like what I said but I love you are in the case of my daughter.

I'm so sorry that your room does not have a door that's on the hinges because it's my room, not yours. Sorry. And I just realized that my 13-year-old is turning you know there's a point in time. It could be depending on the kid. It could be. 11. 12. It could be 15. There's a time when you look at them go, always happening to you talk about just you to start seeing.

It is the turn look at my baby boy and I said all your turning on me and he said yes you are. This is the baby who has been tracking with us. With all the other things because you know when you have a bunch of kids and the younger kids come along. I don't care what you think you're doing with those older kids in terms of scheduling and being official and having all your ducks in a row when those younger kids come to do what everybody else is doing to catch a nap where they can and so this is the youngest child is to go with me all the sporting events, and he was just easy.

I still is pretty easy. There was a season were playing football and where homeschool parents on accident now for 20 years. Every year, look at my husband. That was the reason I guess I was okay. I get so nice to stress out about it but three of them now gone to college. I must be doing something right. The baby now has been tracking with us to all these homeschool football games when you play homeschool sports or maybe you know this to be true because a private school sports. You really do have to go where you comply so that often means were going far distances to play games on one particular Friday night we were going about 45 minutes away from our home. We took two separate cars. My husband took the two older boys and I said I would come later with the younger one.

We drove all the those two cars out north. We live in the Dallas-Fort Worth area and we won the game was great. After the game we decided to go to Whataburger because after the game in Texas. We go to water burger and much older and are so very excited. I don't typically buy soda in our home is kind of a special guest send a big family have hospitality thing and nothing that we don't really have soda in our house so it's a big deal in my children get the big size and they go to the speak it and my youngest. I just looked at me smiling while he says because he wants to get all the different flavors of soda. Now when you were young, did you do that, we just know that with all the different flavors what we call that there you go wow we do that because this nasty but I think when you're younger idea that you can have all the flavors and do whatever kind of mixture you want and so he got all the flavors and we just smiling while he was doing was so excited came sat down eight is burger eight is prize drank the majority of his time to go. He said mom before I go F myself again. I said sure so he went back there, filled up again because he wanted to make sure that he took this opportunity to drink as much soda as he possibly could we get in the car. He and I are traveling home by ourselves and the traffic is horrible y'all it's a Friday night and there should not be traffic on the Dallas Tollway with their totally was just riding my breaks down the Tollway thinking it's already been a long night. We already spent extra time after the game going to Whataburger. I cannot wait to go home feeling that you have when you're in traffic and you don't even know why you're in traffic but at some point the traffic breaks and you may never even know why the traffic was happening.

You don't see the accident you don't see the car on the side of the road. You just know now I can go to the car in front of me obviously got the signal that it was time for him to go, so he hit his gas and I looked at him and thought this is awesome and as soon as he took off. I took off while he misjudged how fast he should of been going so he took off and then immediately hit his brakes really hard, which meant I had to hit my brakes really hard. Now the good news is I have my seatbelt on my side had his seatbelt on, but there was one thing in the car that did not have the seatbelt on y'all that soda from Whataburger went flying forward. It splashed against the front of my windshield and all Jews came ricocheting off the windshield back onto my face into my hair into my purse all over my car. Good mother mother so the first thing I said out loud in my out of my mouth was baby are you okay well I don't think my son was a good set on that day. The first thing out of his mouth was my really upset me thinking damaged by your soda you're not damaged by the failure in the backseat of my car still to this day there's a button in my car if I press that button it sticks, which means that short the electric circuit for everything else but work still clean nothing without you to sit around at night and there try to clean it up. It still like seven years ago but still sticking with the guards made. Also, it is what it is because to me, course. My vantage point as a mom's vantage point.

As a young young man. My vantage point is that we are okay, you're okay. You had your seatbelt on and that's why I said that to him. I said that because I know that I did not get my breaks or have we not had our seatbelt on. This could be a story that did not end very well for our car or for our lives. And I'm thinking as I'm looking at him.

You totally have the wrong perspective.

What I need you to be grateful. I just saved your life you just say I saved you from impending injury think that all you can think about that… The last time you but I saved your and sometimes you wonder if God doesn't look at us girls when life stops suddenly for us or would we run into unexpected traffic. We have to hit the brakes hard because something in front of us is not doing what we expected it to do and something in our lives flies off the handle does something we don't expect and when God looks at us and he's saying girl listen I know you're okay. You have the seatbelt of the blood of Jesus Christ holding you into guaranteeing your life and you are crying over something that spilled and I need you to get correct perspective because I've saved your life and probably what you're trying over there is either more where that came from.

You don't need to worry about everything you ever want any eternity with me. I did you get correct effective girl. What I want to do this morning is just to walk you through a passage of Scripture in hopes that it helps your perspective.

Now I realize I understand it, because I in my own life.

I know what it is to have things spilled something that you hold precious and dear something that you thought you'd be able to enjoy for longer than you had it and it slips right through your fingers and it's disappointing. It's discouraging.

It's depressing and you are honestly more focused on the thing that you thought you have been the God who gave you the like to have it. I know what it is like to have the feelings and the emotions that say in a certain moment.are you serious because in that moment. Listen, my son was mad at me for hitting the brakes did not have correct perspective that by me getting the right actually was saving his life.

And sometimes that's what happens when God allows the brakes in our life to be to be hit suddenly and we are just feeling the ricochet.

The pain the frustration of what is happened and we are not paying attention or were not knowledgeable of the bigger picture because the Bible says, his ways are not our way. His thoughts are not our thoughts. We have to realize that some things are happening are likely don't know why we don't have an answer. We don't have an explanation, but we can always choose to have the right perspective in Ephesians chapter 2 there's a series of verses that talk to us about what it means to have the correct perspective. I love reading the Bible in different versions are different paraphrases. It just helps with a variety of words and vocabulary to help me look at the word of God in a different way see a nuance of it that maybe I don't see in the version that I always read, so would like to read for you actually Ephesians chapter 2 verses one through 10 in the message paraphrase because I love how this reads the picture that it paints for us. It wasn't so long ago that you were mired in that old stagnant life of sin, you let the world, which doesn't know the first thing about living tell you how to live. You filled your lungs with polluted unbelief and then exhale disobedience. We all did all of us doing what we felt like doing when we felt like doing it. All of us in the same boat. It's a wonder God lose his temper and do away with the whole lot of us.

Instead, immense, in mercy, and with an incredible love. He embraced he took our sin, dead lives and made alive in Christ. He did all of this on his own with no help from us, and then he picked us up and set us down and highest heaven and company with Jesus our Messiah.

Now God has us where he wants us with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness in Christ Jesus. Upon saving is all his idea. It's all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It's God's gift from start to finish. We all played a major role because if we did, we might go around bragging that we done the whole thing. No, we neither make nor save ourselves.

God does both the making and the saving he created each of us by Christ to join him in the work he does the good work he has gotten ready for us to do work.

We had better be doing one walk you through verse 10 for we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we can walk in them because I want you to rub member to keep the right perspective even when life is not doing for you what you like for it to do giving what you'd like for it to give you still can have in the midst of the best of times and the worst of times. The right perspective and the right perspective changes everything. We are his.

My oldest daughter went to college at Baylor University which was at the time about an hour and 1/2 from our house so would dart down there. Every now and again to see her just because I could one particular Friday afternoon I called her I said hey what you doing. She told me she was about to be done with her last class that I sublime to come down and see this afternoon respect drive down there and drive back. She's a great so I got my car, y'all, and on the way there I drove through sonic because sonic ice is a gift of the body of Christ that you have to order it. I get a large route 44 cup of ice and then I get a medium sweet tea. Because really I don't need that much sweetie. I just need mostly the ice and the sweet tea to make it go down to keep it cold.

It's great so I created my own concoction in the car, got in the car and started driving down to the school. When I got to the school about my route 44 out of the car and walked up to her room. When I walked into her room. She hugged me she was glad to see me. I proceeded into her room with my route 44 in my hand and was looking for place to put it down. I saw her desk was fairly clean, so I said on the desk. She runs over to the desk and picked up the route 44 and she grabs a paper towel falls in the square puts it on her desk and set my route 44 on her desk and I'm just in shock. I don't even know why I'm even shocked that she cares, why do you care she said mom you going to mess up my desk.

The first problem I have with this is an angel desk or the desk that you're only going to have for this. Even this year to change dorm rooms with our campus and do something else. Number two. I'm in shock because why do you care you're the same kid with glasses all over my furniture and home tell you all the time. Please don't put that glass on that would because the condensation from the outside of the glass to mess up my stuff and you never care so why do you care to you why she cares because she thought it was ours looking at her like not only are you next year. This year perspective. But because she thought it was first.

She decided she was going to take care of it. My boys recently in the last few years. I just look at them and said I'm done done with the videogame. I'm not buying anymore consoles know we know PlayStation switch know nothing I'm done I'm not binding to games. I'm just sorry just sick of it and they were in shock because what also you get for Christmas besides technology so I saw them one day a couple days after Christmas, huddled up having a conversation. They were just sitting like really talking deeply and as I got closer, I kinda got quiet. I didn't want to hear what they were talking about so I kinda backed up but you know they don't know that we moms our ears are superstrength superpowered.

When I realized they were doing is trying to figure out how they were going to use the gift cards and cash. They'd gotten from cousins and aunts different people. Grandparents there to pooled their resources to buy the PlayStation that their mother what didn't get them so they pulled a reason I've never seen them work together and cooperate so great. It was amazing everyone. I am not buying it to the their resources together and bought a PlayStation they were negotiating who was put in what in the news go by the controllers y'all that thing arrived they were so careful with how they set it up. They put the controllers in the right place. No one had ever tell anybody else to find the controller they knew where it was. Every time they finish playing they would roll up the cords, all nice and neat. Put everything exactly were supposed to be because they paid for and what time were going to check on a road trip. They said only get to the hotel or the hotel have connectors for our PlayStation.

I said I don't know.

All of a sudden the communication skills with through the roof. The research skills were through the roof one Google the number to the hotel. The other one made the phone call excuse because it was someone at the front desk. We need to know if you have HDMI connections as well as left and right found out. I look at them like, then when we got ready to go. They didn't just pack the PlayStation one kid brought out the original bubblewrap. Another kid brought up the original box, so they wrapped it back up and they put in the box they were negotiating who is carrying the actual console, whose caring the remote and whose carrying the game outside parenting like long ago do you want to know why they were acting like that's the same reason my daughter was acting that way with my route 44. They thought it belonged to them. When you think something belongs to you. Take care of it differently.

There's a difference in how you take care of the repairs that are needed for an apartment, then a home with difference it's different when you're in a hotel room versus when you're in a lodging that you take care of and that you're responsible for it's different and it is different in the same way with God. He takes care about belongs to him.

Which means he takes care of you and I so I realize that there are times in your life or there may be things that spilled you disappointed about things that have been depressing or discouraging things that you are hoping to enjoy that you didn't get to enjoy as long or at all and I realize that when those things slip through your fingers when they make up in your life. The reaction is to think God doesn't care. He didn't even allow me to keep the thing that I was so looking forward to enjoying what I was so hoping that I would experience that you have to remember that God takes care of what belongs to him. He takes care of you and lest you think that he does not take care of you or that you don't belong to him. Let me read some passages of Scripture for you. Genesis 127 says that God created man and woman in his image. Psalm 24 one. The earth of the Lord and all it contained the world and those who dwell in it.

Psalm 100 verse three know ye that the Lord he is God and he was made a and not we ourselves. We are his people and the sheep of his pasture.

Isaiah 43 one but now says the Lord our God your creator of Jacob, and he who formed you, O Israel, do not fear, for I have redeemed you.

I have called you by name.

You are my first grade did 619. Do you not know that your body, the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, will you have from God, and your body is not your own. You belong to him and God takes care of those things those people that belong to him that when you are thinking in your like things are falling apart.

You have to trust the fact that even though it seems like what you want to slip through your fingers. What you desire, you don't have what you would hope for is not come to pass that the most important thing is you and you belong to God and he is taking care of you, and I was thinking in the sun with my son in the car as long as you're okay I can buy you another soda water sometimes got a look at you and I'd say listen, I know it's devastating. I can do another time exceedingly abundantly above and beyond everything that you can ask or think you need. Don't get too hung up on this because what if there's more to your life.

You are his, so you gotta develop a holy confidence in who you are because of who you are his workmanship. We've been enjoying the message from Crystal Evans hurst speaking to women of joy conference and will continue her presentation next time. That was so good. I love Crystal story better kids taking excellent care of their PlayStation because we had to buy it themselves. That's human nature, and it's a great illustration of the fact that God will take care of us in good times and bad, because we belong to him and we are his workmanship and we are his children.

If we've accepted Jesus Christ as our Savior and Lord effect in the New Testament book of Matthew chapter 7 verse 11 it says if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him. God wants to give us good things but sometimes our circumstances don't line up with that promise and that can be so difficult. And if you're going through a hard time right now we have a wonderful staff who would welcome the opportunity to talk to you and refer you to one of our current Christian counselors if you need that counselor can call you back for a free one time consultation and even help you find a like-minded therapist in your area that's a service we been providing for over 40 years here Focus on the Family the goal is to help your family thrive in Christ. Here's the feedback we received from Barbara throughout her 30 years of marriage, my husband and I leaned heavily on focus to help our blended family truly thrive not just survive.

We made use of your counseling services and other materials and now we are so grateful to be reaping the benefits of all the support you provided. Thank you so good and let me give a big shout out to the donor community who make our free counseling services possible. We couldn't help families like Barbara's. Without you, and if you haven't given to Focus on the Family.

Let me encourage you to do so today. You can do ministry through focus and when you make a donation of any amount will send your copy of Crystal's book.

It's called she's still there, rescuing the girl in you. If you're wondering what God had planned when he created you maybe regret some decisions from your past. This is the book for you. Crystal explains how to become the person God intended you to be so get a copy from us today. Get your copy when you call 800 the letter a in the word family or look for the link in the episode notes donate. As you can and request your copy of she's still there and to support the ministry of Focus on the Family will include free audio download of the entire presentation as well, but next time more encouragement for difficult days from Crystal Evans hurst.

Maybe instead of lamenting your mess. You just need to own your message that God knows what he's doing on behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team.

Thanks for listening to this Focus on the Family podcast. Please take a moment and we were waiting in your podcast app and sure about this episode with different culture. Maybe you know someone who could really benefit from Crystal's encouragement. I'm John Fuller inviting you back next time. Once more help you and your family thrive in Christ. Some say abortion is harmless even helpful for women but is that really true.

As a Christian you know it's not ready to share with your friends what the Bible has to say. Especially after Roe V Wade nearly 5 decades of legalized abortion of harmed every aspect of our society, including women join us online October 4 at 7 PM Eastern is Alexander to sink to speak somehow abortion harms our culture and disadvantages. Women register@focusonthefamily.com/lighthouse