Creating a Relational Legacy, Part 1 (cont'd)

When someone offends you with the punches, or through a few of her own coming your way next Pastor Paul Sheppard and his wife Meredith talk about God's way of handling relational conflict in their message creating a relational legacy. But before we get started. Pastor Paul joins me from his studio. Pastor, we often hear from people who been blessed by this ministry.

Every time I hear one of those testimonies. I feel blessed myself and humbled really. I get to play a small part in that talk about the importance of encouragement and the role it plays in all of our lives.

Often when we have our worship services and I have people play we usually link hand so that their plane of the person to left and the right and as I in the prayer from a pastoral standpoint I say the people I want you to know that when you pray for your neighbor, nor inspired because God when he answers your neighbor's prayer. He's in the neighborhood and is going to bless you and so we need to be encouraged that as we minister to other people.

God is going to see to it that our needs are met. So encouragement is important to give and to receive what we are always looking for new testimonies to share with our listeners. So if you have been blessed by the destined for victory broadcast would love to hear from you from the Pastor Paul.net home page click on contact us and tell us your story again. The web address is Pastor Paul.net.

We also love to get your letters. The address is destine for victory PO Box 1767, Fremont, CA 94538 how well you know what I going and showing my heart to feeling how well you're going to say you know what what you said to me really offended me and I need you to know how I feel. Take some maturity, some of us don't have great advice from Pastor Paul Sheppard to come straight for the word of God. Matthew chapter 18 to be exact coming your way next year on destine for victory. Pastor Paul and his wife Meredith talk about the importance of directly confronting the brothers and sisters in Christ who have offended us were done as far let's join them now for today's destine for victory message creating a relational like how well you know what I'm going to show my heart to feelings how well you're going to say what what you said to me really offended me and I need you to know how I feel. Take some maturity, some of us don't have severe Starbucks. We all have because when you bend it you want to act out of the hurt and don't act out of the hurt address the hurt the individual to what is that me don't go talking anybody else about how this person of know that you violated what the Lord told you to do things you go to them and even use the word hello my going along don't bring a little raggedy friends going show them say pulling away homicide: whatever and say you hurt me and I need you to know that I don't like and then you go and show that is important when it comes to building your relational legacy because if some of us keep doing what we're doing is handling relationships with one die one day and knows people are going to know that you always have the attitude and they never quite understood why or something changed and I could I could never figure out why things change.

Only people wondering what what happened.

Jesus said while your living body living going show. Let me tell you about yourself. I love the fact that I don't serve a man's a pansy Savior Christianity. Following Jesus is not for wimps.

You gotta grow up to know Jesus to walk with him and sometimes you gotta learn to shake your finger in somebody's face as they look. What you say it is offensive.

I'm not going take that kind of stuff off and you going show direct the easiest way to get there is a straight line.

Don't beat around the bush. Don't drop this summary all a professional hit dropper and learned I've been a very long time. Let me let me cancel you little don't drop him to know why cause the wrong people always pick him up same people talking in the group and the one person. This statement is what I'm talking about you know what happens so insecure person all along so that so that's why they don't like me for sin about don't drop Jesus said, go show you fellowship when you said the other day in that meeting, or just whatever that really did me know you will me and talk about something you really hurt me when you came for me in this way they were much less important to know so so so is not aimed at you and I'm sorry I didn't make that clearer. And you can move, go and show is a key anybody misunderstand you. Just about all the ladies who were below D yesterday when Anthony we talked about the band I definitely times when people have an expectation you and you have no idea what that expectation is they just feel a certain way, they may want Pastor's life people they a closeness. I don't really know Van Kilby after they want more from me and one person.

I love every body but I can't have a very significant relationship with everybody significant that have an intimate relationship with every body and sometimes people are offended or they want more to mentor different times that to be someone's mentor and they wanted bad sprain and they wanted to write me at Tiki girlfriend and they wanted somebody to hang out and go shopping thinking mentor. I went to when I don't eat all of these unspoken expectation that confronted with how I had to let them down. I recently someone said that I send them an well and I'm thinking we talk every week. So where's the sunny expectation of me that they never expressed, as we talked about it. Then we got to the root that they just wanted more of a mentoring relationship because they were lacking friends, so if you've been hurt in a prior relationship. Sometimes you bring that will get into a new relationship and this is where I shared with the ladies. Yesterday I talked about a long that I very short-lived group out years ago, Danny came and they had a song, damaged, and the psalmist says it's a woman talking to a boyfriend and new boyfriend damaged. I thought that I should let you know that my heart is damaged and what are you going to do to fix fix fix it and that the last time someone confronted me over my failure to meet an unexpressed expectation and that song and all the lyrics came flooding back to me. My heart is sounds like do you have a first aid kit.

I'm holding you to fix all the wounds that in me you know it says in Isaiah 61.

Jesus came to bind up the brokenhearted, so our relationship with him is he the foundation for every other relationship and where other people can't fix fix it because you're so damn it, I thought I should let you know then we can go to a God who is there and a mind regulator. I'm so glad about the church related.

You gotta go there with a lot of churches. They don't go there all the time talking about that's fine. Please help get out the phone is but we got we got there, what is in your life that hasn't been addressed. God gives you principal and Jesus gives is one here. You gotta have those relationship go and show a lot of us are angry with people and only reason were angry is because we did go and show let me just help you. Anger is often demanding justice about very often when were angry where her and we want justice well if you going show that can be the beginnings of resolving the issue. Now let me quickly say resolution isn't always the person when you board shows is your right, I should listen to whatever I'm sorry. Please forgive me that's ideal how many know most the time it don't work out like Mozart have you ever going to my going show about like you are from Mars, like did you just say to me what you say what you did not just flat out denied. I'm crazy you great. I don't know what will go away were only about halfway through today's destined for future message with pastor Paul Shepherd, senior pastor of destiny Christian Fellowship in Fremont California subscribed to Pastor Paul and YouTube to watch some of his best video clips for more details. Be sure to visit Pastor Paul.net that's Pastor Paul… You can listen on demand recent messages or find a variety of resources that are online store. Now let's return to the rest of today's destined for victory message creating a relational legacy was again here's Pastor Paul and Meredith Shepherd series helping you keep me in mind and get it right before you go just because you going show will get the right response. Sometimes it make you mad when they respond to you going to do with going show. So what you do. Then he went on to say there.

In Matthew 18.

He said that they will hear that way. You gotta bring an objective third-party into the situation. I send over the years as a as a pastor. Some of my job is to get you and the person you try to reconcile with in the same room because you can't reconcile 101 but you so busy wanting to do what Jesus said your taking the next step in Matthew 18 sent pastor, would you just because you know I'm a man of integrity and I'm going to listen how care how close I am to you if you is not based on do I like you I have people in my office. I like this person have much more relation with them that I have with the other person when the going show and on the mediator. The person I hardly know is right and what I've known a long time we done ministry trip together whatever they were all I have to tell you, love your right you know I love you right and wrong, just as wrong as the day long as people come on guys, let me hear you. Let me talk to you. Let me ask you questions and because sometimes y'all need to marry one another like one of you holding you. He like this is not going anywhere.

So somebody who loves you, but is not in love with either one of you. So we have here because the person does not respond the way you would hold because it's not always in deal coming together when you practice Matthew 18 going show you're still obeying a biblical mandate so your goal when you go to someone that like talking to going show. He is not necessarily say and then the person is going to receive you and thank you and you want to walk away and have peace and wonderful relationship back to back.

That's not always the case that you have still followed Scripture.

You have obeyed the word and used to frustrate me because I think I have thought that this is one of the most disobeyed Scriptures in the Bible where people will not go to someone and get it straight.

And I think it's because you've done it.

You try to make peace you and when it doesn't happen are father part of the person is in denial. Sometimes there just to make sure they're not the right place spiritually and you can't make a person well you cannot point out a situation say a lot. Well get taller get bigger, you can't do that. Lord, the holy spirit is the change agent.

So you just want to be that person who is going to follow a biblical mandate going show, be convinced that God is going to handle the rest. You don't have to change the person I get them to see and assuming responsibility for their part in a breakdown. You can't force that upon people. Your plan is to go and shall, and the fact of the matter is sometimes the relationship changes because of a person's failure to meet you at the point of reconciliation. Always understand reconciliation requires the cooperation of both parties.

See reconciliation can't be my goal. My only goal. Because I don't get to meet that goal by myself I that people I wanted to reconcile with, but to they were done which you done what you know really done what you done this, but they are, they're not there so you gotta realize it when somebody is done with you. You can't reconcile with them.

That's why the Bible gives you biblical grounds and sometimes a believer can be divorced and remarried biblically under certain I so somebody like not just write a word very limited grounds for divorce one married you one till death do you part not to get on your nerves so their condition.

That's why you need pastoral counseling often so work through things but all I'm saying is sometimes you can't make a reconciliation, even in a friendship happen if the other person won't be mature and won't be biblical sometimes you got to let them go because they're already go. So when we pick up this discussion next week is working for you to preach on the online novels utilize don't tune in all the time. Expected a sermon three points in which to always do that will disciple you sometimes we just gotta sit in your living room and talk and just deal with real life issues, and so so you really let me just what you will continue with next week and will last as long as it does. I really don't have any timetable for I'm trying to help you get ready for that great day soon we need to be living day by day in preparation for the inevitable. One of these days when I got up to God and I don't want my relationship failures to be in the way.

Well done good and faithful servant. You don't want to have succeeded in career and failed in life.

You do realize that your life is not your career, your vocation is what you're paid to do, but you're likely to involve what you're made to do and so sometimes you're good at what you're paid to do in your better, which are made you're made to have meaningful relationships with key people and that's our plan as we open this section of the series to help you think through and appraise the condition of all the relationships will come back next week and pick this up. Here's what I want to begin by focusing on next week, which is a question. Should this relationship be discontinued. There are some relationships that were for a reason and for a season when the reason has been accomplished and the season has been fulfilled.

Some relationships have lost their value you maintain friendliness as a brother or sister in Christ, if you ever need anything I be glad to pray with you if I can help in a practical way. I'll do that, but sometimes you can't walk with the person in your future.

The way you walked with them in your website but it changed what some of us have to understand. Yes, it had to change. Sometimes it was for a reason.

Some people Jesus had on his ministry agenda.

God wanted him to minister to them when he got through addressing their need. Then they had to go that way.

Remember, one of the only acts that Jesus delivered from depression and how the person is sitting with Jesus about the cold and in their right mind was naked and crazy when running things and now he's clothed and in his right mind.

Jesus okay going to minister elsewhere and he said let me go with you and Jesus said no. He said no he said go home go back to your people, show them what I did for you.

You can come with me, saying into my future. You take what I did for you and you impact the people because of all of us are to infect others to share your testimony as you live your life and help people get better. Just like I helped you get better and Jesus actually said to this guy who was so grateful that is been delivered to the signal to go with me. So some of us have to appraiser will pick this up next time we have to look at some relationships that used to be good and say is no longer good because the need was met or is it no longer good because the season is over. The one thing I can do is me who I was and who I am the same time. Thanks for being here for today's destined for victory message creating a relational legacy, remember destined for victory exists only through your faithful prayer and financial support, and as you give your generous gift today will send you by request a copy of Pastor Paul Shepard's booklet creating a relational legacy that title sounds familiar it's because it's the same as today's message title all this week and on Monday of next week. Pastor Paul and Meredith will be sharing a message about building and maintaining godly relationships.

This booklet is a great companion guide to these messages today will share with you. That's creating a relational legacy gift to you for your generous donation to destined for victory. So please call 855-339-5500 or visit Pastor Paul.net to make a safe and secure donation online. You can also mail your gift to destined for victory PO Box 1767, Fremont, CA 9453 again that address is destine for victory.

Box 1767, Fremont, CA 94538.

Some relationships are limited to a particular reason or season, and so you have to learn all relationships are permanent, at least in the way you related to them. You might know them the rest of your life. But some people play a certain role to serve season and there in your life for certain reason and you gotta discern that and learn how to work through that. That's tomorrow as we continue Pastor Paul Shepard's message creating a relational legacy. Until then, remember he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion in Christ, you are destined for victory