Blessed Sons and Daughters

The worship in the world were almost through series called been an amazing series for learning about God's design for and how no matter how broken we are, we can all experience happy for well with listening with customer. I will talk you later about blessed son and daughters and I specifically named their sons and daughters because were all sons and daughters of God.

You know where sons and daughters will research but as sons and daughters. We go through three phases in these phases are actually outlined in the Bible God designed these three phases. I want to talk about how we relate to sons and daughters in these three phases. The three phases. Just so you know her childhood and adolescence and adulthood.

Childhood is birth to 12 adolescence, 13 to 19, and these not majors I'm getting from the Bible and adulthood is 20 and above so I'll show you these three and I want to give you all the words of every three words today that hopefully you can remember the keyword about how to relate to sons and daughters in each of these phases arrive, so here's Ephesians 6 will start with three verses. I think these three phases of life are actually in these three verses, you'll see them on the go see childhood, adolescence and adulthood right so Ephesians chapter 6 with verse one it says children soda my childhood, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right so this is the first thing children need to learn during this zero 1290. Learn to obey their parents on the virtues actually referring to new adolescents. Honor your father, mother, I think teenagers may blend. Honor one another and honor other people think honor is the biggest thing I need to learn effect on during that adolescent baked which is the first commandment promise and inversely think of referring to adulthood.

Watch this, that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth. In other words, as adults of things may go well with you and you may live long on your I have a thought about this because a lot of times we ask people what's the promise if you honor your mother and father basing all say on the promises that you may live long on your where the promise is actually that things may go well with you and that you may live long mirrors. Not only is wrong, but he wants to live long. If things are going well so so that's a bigger promise to make good things may go well with you. Alright so would alert at least three phases of how we relate to sons and daughters are right. So number one phase. This is the word to try to help you remember is training. This refers to childhood childhood face training. Now we stopped at verse four we read verses one through three.

Ephesians 6 look at verse four. And you father's, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord training.

Think about this Scripture that all of you know.

Proverbs 22 six trying to train up a child you train children train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from Malaga, training, and some of talk about biblical training and I don't have time to develop.

I could devote an entire message for each three of these points. Each of these reports will guide. So what were talking about biblical training and will talk a little bit about spanking because the Bible talks about spanking nonmilitary books again spanking with some friends of ours that what they think. Years ago they the wife said to my wife to Debbie note she read some book and she said we stopped spanking and auto and now just a few weeks later, Debbie talked again.

She said we started spanking again because this is the best book only raising children under my son James used to say to me.

Alexei Sonia disobeyed not explained to him you're going to spanking said that that can cannot tell you something first, can I tell you time to say one thing before. Before you spike on something becoming one thing and then you could see him trying to think of something really unsafe. He was asleep trying to postpone you said that I love you II love you daddy, that's okay. Not sure he's a little MFA. I got I love you and and and I have four dollars and I want to give you want to give you my fourth $and daddy when I grow my will to build your lobby of the big house and let you live in it for free and also he did whatever he could get out but he never got out of it I here's the building Regis Scripture Emily read, you read it out of the message because I just like the way that this translates this Proverbs 2313 and 14.

Don't be afraid to correct your gardens are spanking won't kill a good spanking. In fact, might say the from something worse than death.

A good spanking might save man from something. I watch this worse than death. What would be worse than that. So let me show you what it says in the new King James it says and deliver his soul from hell to see if I have a choice whether or listen to the experts out there that don't know God or listen to God and he says that spanking could deliver my child soul from hell. It's pretty important.

Matter fact again the Bible is stronger on this point and again we try to dilute it and just clarify what about spanking all resettlement, abuse or hard anger or anything like that and there's a whole message I did years ago. List secret listening that if you will reference it but when we think the Bible says spare the rod spoil the child. The Bible does not say that it makes a much stronger industry because everything I would mind spoiling the child will doesn't say if you spare the rod use for the child fears were likely says Proverbs 1324 he who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly delete give you three, just three thoughts about discipline that might help you if you're in this phase of life. One is be clear, be clear communication.

I remember one time I walked on the backyard. James, my son was throwing rocks in the swimming pool. I said to him. James did not throw any rocks in the swimming pool. He looked at me when over, grabbed his brother's bicycle and threw it in the swimming. I didn't say don't throw bicycles in the pool so I said I had to be clear, don't throw anything in the pool if you throw anything in the pool including other people I'm going to spank you guide to be very clear with the matzoh one is be clear. The other thing is be convincing that he is going to spank you. Let me tell you why daddy's going to spank you because daddy loves bad things happen to people who do bad things. That's what I would tell my children. I don't want bad things to happen to you so I am training you now not to do bad things because when you get older you do bad things should go to prison. Things happen to you. Bad things happen. People do bad things.

The only reason I'm doing this is because I love you not be very convincing that he will spanking. If you hit your sister with that plastic bat you stop swinging the plastic bat in the house because you could hit your sister accidentally like you I've already done four times so that he will spend, you will get a spanking. If you do this convincing and the last thing is be compassionate never spanked in anger.

If you have to cooldown some cooldown explained to them, take them to another group member spanking public never, ever, ever, because shame is never part of discipline with God. God never shames us. We shame ourselves with God the things we humiliate ourselves.

But God humbles us so I just to let you know don't do it in public go somewhere else. Be compassionate I would I would have fun with them afterwards. Every time after out, spank them I would do something fun with it takes time for godly discipline because I wanted in the nose over so the first phase is training all right refers to cha-cha childhood. Second, glaciers number two teaching. This refers to adolescents from 13 to 19. We moved from training to teaching. Ephesians 6 first floor let's go back to the birth of your fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training will talk about that and admonition of the Lord. When the day winds or teaching. That's what this word means admonition means instruction or teaching for 11 the teacher Lord. Deuteronomy 49 teach them then refers to statutes.

Teach them to your children and your grandchildren. Deuteronomy 67 shall teach them diligently to your children.

So think about this all right. Adolescents refers to the transition of a child becoming an adult.

We refer to those teenage years, but it refers that time.

This is a time when we go to teaching it begins at 12 or 13 somewhere around that age you see in Jewish cultures. Well, there becomes a time of teaching we see it in Jesus's life and there's a really famous story about Jesus that I think we missed something very important when Jesus was in the temple. Remember, and when nurses are great. There's a great part of it not. I'm not minimizing this apartment because of this far and I think we missed the other part, but that the teachers of the rabbis in the temple were so impressed with his answers.

Now that's a great thing, but I want you to notice something that Jesus himself.

This is making the transition from childhood to adolescence with three verse 42 and when he was 12 years old, they went up and went to Jerusalem, according to the customer the face and then verse 46 that sort was that after three days merely laughed and they came back and found them they found him in the temple, sitting in the mist of the teachers watch what Jesus was doing both listening to them and asking them questions listening to them and asking them questions Jesus Jesus himself. This is a time when when teenagers are going to be an ask questions need to understand something.

This is the time for you to help them transition from being a child, I think back to how many times though, do we say something like this to our teenager says something like this trust you're treating me like a child.

That is what our response when you're acting like a job and I probably ought but is our responsibility to teach them not to act like a child gets to begin to to train them to teach them loose. Another way we tell a child what to think or we train the child what to think.

We teach and adolescents how to think.

We say that again we tell a child what to think. We tell this is what you're going this is what you're going to do we tell a child what to think. But we teach and adolescents how to think. So you begin to move in this transitional time when you begin to ask your teenager questions what what kind of criteria or are you going to use us what you would ask a teenager what kind of criteria or are you going when you choose your friends so they start thinking where they may have never felt before, but that what what type of study habits. Are you trying to develop now that are going to help you later life. Here's a question I wish I had someone ask when I was a teenager. Do you think the choices that you make now will affect you as an adult I never thought that I would deal with some of things I've had to deal with as an adult because things I didn't. This is a time ask questions when our children were making this transition to adolescence at the age of 13. We had a covenant ceremony with them.

I did it with the guys.

Debbie Debbie with our daughter. We would take them on an overnight trip. We had arranged for so I did the both the boys Debbie that our daughter, we made a covenant with now part of things that we thought better covenant. We talk a lot of things that we need to choose one example, we talked about David we we we went to the facts of life with her. We did whenever TMM 13 recently released whenever TMM is because there really are things at school so went to the facts of what butter 1320 made the cup that we said not hear something she'd understand.

You're going to begin to start being attracted to the opposite sex and when that happens, we want to tell you some things. It's going to happen in your body will take some things will happen your emotions and so we told and then we say we will look will make covenant with you. You have a park and we have a part and we said your part is that you'll talk to us and be open and honest with us when you're attracted to someone that you will keep yourself pure, that you will cross these boundaries that God is set in place for your protection before marriage. We went through all the things of this is your apartment out. Then I said, this is my part of the company. My part of the covenant is that I commit myself to pray with you about your spouse and I will explain to them why you have to tell teenagers why we said because we know you better than anyone else in the world.

We know your personality. We know your gift ticks so will really help you with this process but then I wanted to kind of incentivize my teenagers.

You know, and so I said and part of my covenant is you. Keep your part a part of my covenant is that I'm going to pay for any expenses with the wedding. Whether your boy or girl because her expenses on both sides, pay another thing will do is I will pay for your honeymoon. I want to pay for your college.

Whatever it is all pay for all that you have no student debt no matter what Art Deco student that I have to.

And then I said, and I'm going to help you by your first house. Now I look back on that now and think thank God for people by my books now because I would've ever that Woodinville keep all these promises that I may not know why did the we been able to help our children financially, but I remember when Josh, my oldest son when he was 13. I wanted to teach them something about Dodge breaks during this time and so I went through this. I said no were making a covenant grabbed partner. I have a part and I said to him, what am I part this is very big too. Since this big financial commitment on my part us about what's going to happen if you don't do your part that I was expected in the same building.

You want your part. My 13-year-old son surprised me. He sat there for a moment and said you're probably still do your part and I'm rethinking you stole my thunder.

He stole my teaching moment in question will if you don't do your part. Why do you think that all do my part and he said because you told me that even when we do think things wrong, God still loves us and I think you're like God. This is what we do we go. This is a time of life. We take our young people through from childhood to adulthood. It's very important in the last adulthood I are you using the word, trusting, trusting, so hopefully we can remember these rewards. Training teaching trusting them. Send another white children are trained teenagers are called adults or trusted adulthood. Given the Bible starts at 20 years old. I don't have time give you all the Scriptures, but I give you just a few references that you can look at later. All right edge.

This 30 verse 14 says that 20 they were begin to give offerings. Nothing's going to teach our children to give offerings but this was actually referring to a temple tax, they were required to start paying this when the third 20 God saw them as adults. Numbers one, verse 320.

They had to go to war. They do not go to war until they were 20 years old.saw them as adults. Numbers 14 2930 3220. They were held responsible for their sin and pointing this as I said, he said your little ones who had no knowledge of good and evil will still go into the promised land, but everyone 20 years old and the other than Joshua and Caleb will die in the wilderness so God sets a major point mail things that many of us have done this kind of said live in her people say this once their marriage there adults know that's not true. There adults monitored 20 and living with someone the Scriptures of you will use is therefore a man shall leave his father and mother completes his life in other words there under my 40 until they get married. No take the Scripture for what it says listen.

One says.

Therefore, man oh man shall leave his father, mother, Mme. Sanborn is already a man I think about this. What if I never get married.

Some people are not called the marriage; celibacy that Jesus even talked about them self for life and never did murder. They don't have to know when you're 65.

The grant special permission to retire so that are grown and they need to be treated as adults.

This is the reason I named this message blessed sons and daughters not less children.

I am calling adult sons and daughters and I don't like even like the term adult children.

It's an oxymoron. Think about if there adults, not children and we have all these problems because people don't understand. I really think parents get in the way sometimes we Dodge trying to do something in an adult life there adults now are parenting role is over.

The word parent can be a noun and can be ever in other words, yes I am a parent but I do not parent anymore because I don't have children anymore. I have adult sons and daughters are ill will follow this good and I got to see them so I let me tell you another thing you might not ever thought about this. My sons and daughters this from this mumble you what my sons and daughters are now my brothers and sisters in Christ and Christ there is no male or female in Christ there but listen when this Marseilles sons and daughters yes I have. I have sons and daughters.

They all have children of their own. Their parents now that the guest are my sons and daughters, but their mothers and fathers, so they're not my kids sitting there, my brothers and sisters in Christ. That is, that they can come to me for advice. But what they're actually doing is they're coming to a brother in Christ, you realize that some sons and daughters. Some grown sons and daughters will go to their parents more providers.

There are two reasons. One, one year, sometimes parents try to control one is apparently say this like parents think if they don't take my advice that's dishonoring me that's not on you. You asked us if you should make this move and we said no but you did it anyway and I was injured on your mother and father. When you just talk to somebody about that right there. What that actually does spiritual abuse. When you quote Scripture to get your why natural you don't have authority in the person's life a person to grown persons of adult. So sometimes grown sons and daughters adult sons and daughters will go to the parent for the Council but then sometimes it's the other way around to sometimes serve as a dishonoring because you want to honor them and asked for their fumes. Honor your mother about doesn't have to do it. You should because you're an adult yet to hear.I know adult sons and daughters that have just announced made an announcement. We decided were moving our week.I decided to quit my job may never even asked that is dishonoring, but is this on and here's the reason that the intent is because they haven't made the transition from adolescence or childhood to adulthood yet and they don't have the courage to say you know what you pray with us about this because they fear the parents might say, well, we would rather you not do this they will have the courage to say thank you will go back and play again. But then they might have come back and say now that we prayed about it.

We appreciate your cancel, but we know for sure this without spoken to us early the following business. This would solve about 99% of family marriage counseling right if we would allow adult sons and daughters to just simply grow up and treat them as brothers and sisters. I hope you enjoyed today's message and I want to ask you to take a moment and think about past Robert and ask the Holy Spirit what he would say to you about this message. If you need to get a copy of any of the messages in the series, visit Pastor Robert Doc and be sure to follow past Robert Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. Thank you so much for listening today. Next time past. Robert is including the blessed family series with a message about the family of Christ. We've all been so be sure to tune in and enjoy your week