Sharon Cash

Hi this is breeding welcome to the Salvation Army's words of life. See me close by my name will transfer pieces that I sure will stress welcome back to words of life. I'm Cheryl Guillen with my cohost Bernie Dick. It's a privilege to be back with you Cheryl.

It's good to see Bernie you know what's exciting about this is were doing like a highlight reel series. So looking back at different interviews that have taken place over the past several years, and today's interview is from March 2019 share in cash as a counselor who works with the Salvation Army in Memphis Tennessee. She joined us to share lesson she learned from one of her first cases as a counselor. The story that Sharon shares is a heartbreaking story about the power of unforgiveness in this interview she referred to unforgiveness as a crime scene that we keep going back to only to find that our fingerprints are the only ones there and honestly I don't remember the context of that statement, but I read something today that said, the hardest person to lead or manage is the one looking back at you in the mirror. Unforgiveness is something that we hold over ourselves, sometimes we ask God to forgive us and he can cast it away as far as the east is from the West is not capable of remember remembering the sin, but we hold onto things that really keep us from experiencing the true joy that comes with the freedom of forgiveness in Jesus Christ, something that truly does hold us captive and that causes much tragedy in our lives if we don't really said that there is power in forgiveness, but there's power in unforgiveness as well and that's what Sharon shares in a negative way in a negative way will listen. We would love to hear from you if there's something that you're hearing or something that you wish you could have someone pray with you or for you please let us know and you can reach out to us by sending us an email at radio@uss.salvationarmy.org or call 1-800-229-9965.

We would love to hear from you and we will lift you up in prayer. God bless you will see you next week on words of life will I am Sharon Kash I am the program director in Memphis Tennessee for the Salvation Army producer hope it is a an environment that supports women with children and addresses issues that has caused them to be homeless that is related to domestic violence, mental health issues, drug addiction and life in general. That has caused them to be in the situation that they think I have been in counseling optically working with women for 21 years I've been with the Salvation Army for 17 of those 21 years and I am a recovering person of 26. I work with particular with women of trauma, so I am trying in trauma informed care and somatic therapy as well as experiential therapy. Bobby was my very first client. I remember the day that I started and Bobby was in the eye. What we call the great room and she was watching Walker Texas Ranger and she had totally dominated the wrong she had pretty much told everybody else in the wrong bed they couldn't watch anything else because that was her problem between 4 o'clock and 5 o'clock and eight everybody agree with it. Nobody challenged her and I remember going insane and I thought the schedule save 4 o'clock and that this would be a time for the children to be watching cartoons and so that was the beginning of our relationship because I challenged her and asked her to come out of the. The great room and to be where she scheduled to be and so that started us having level of communication that undoubtedly some no one else in the hat with Bobby, but that began our relationship at that time her having to come into my office and sit down and talk with me about what was going on with her at that time in her life. After our initial individual session. One of the things that I was elated to do to earn the right to hear Bobby story and after we began to interact on a daily basis. Bobby began to share with me just how painful her journey had been Bobby was the door to a recovering person that had had a horrific life for South Vermont Bobby was a street prostitute for many years, even though she was so amazingly intelligent.

She is a result of her cocaine addiction results as to whatever was necessary to stay high and she had a reputation in the community of being Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. When I met her. This was her fourth attempt at getting sober.

And she had her sign with her and he was a young male that had been exposed to just how outrageous her behavior would become so one of the things that happen along the way was learning that Bobby had a daughter that had been murdered as a result of Bobby's lifestyle. She began to mimic her mom's behavior and after an opportunity to seek treatment they had established an environment that was healthy. They had an apartment, her daughter and her son had come to live with her and I but Bobby had using drugs and alcohol at the time, but her hair lifestyle. Steel needed the support of what she did to get money and there was a gentleman that she had repeated relationships with more money and one day when Bobby wasn't home. Her daughter was there and he came to see Bobby, but as a result, she left with him how daughter was found in Arkansas, mutilated and murdered and it turns out that the same John had was one that committed the crime goes deeper because Bobby upon learning how daughter had been murdered relaxed and on the day of her daughter's funeral. She didn't go because she was a getting high and that level of unforgiveness of herself had repeated its cycle in her life over and over again even talking about it now. I can remember the day when she disclosed that to me and we and it up in the middle of my office floor with her head on my shoulder and her weeping just from a place that it's saying that it may have happened the day before. It was so present in that moment and it had been 12 years at the time of our encounter. Being a mom and in recovery and knowing that many of the steps that she took many of the much of the behavior that she displayed. I had very similar background and I could only think in that moment, having one sign this really old but for the grace of God that it didn't happen to me but just the moment of helplessness that I felt in that moment I knew that prayer was the only answer I know that unforgiveness can fester to the point of it riding your heart.

It can be the barrier to recovery that it can hold you in us base that immobilizes you from moving forward in every area in your life. Some things will only come from Ohio and in that situation. Having knowledge of the of the last night of Bobby's life and her mother being able to tell me that she said to her.

I'm tired of going back to the crime scene.

She understood the power that it had over her life and she wanted to be with Jesus but Bobby taught me about it was that she was the evidence of what I knew unforgiveness to see how she could get to a point where she had successful housing that her son is doing well that she is employed that she's drug-free and that would be a moment that her guilt in her shame and her unforgiveness of the perpetrator herself and her daughter would strip her of every ounce of what society deems as success.

She just simply would be in that place is say how could I have happiness when this is a part of my history and we we prayed we talked quite often about having to forget and understanding that most of the time when she went back to that crime scene of unforgiveness and all that is happened her fingerprints with all the ones that were there and she would be the one that would have to suffer the consequences of that over and over again unless she was able to have our relationship with God that she could give that to him and trust him that he does forgive her Bobby story has impacted me as a therapist as mother as a as a human being and really being able to understand the power of unforgiveness and that unless it's addressed unless it is taking care of unless it's appropriately treated that the long-range impact of it can permeate through your family, your relationships through every area of your life.

It has allowed me as clinician to really understand the importance of time.

The importance of being present and the importance of being skilled, and being able to support and help someone that is suffering from unforgiveness in such a major way. Understanding that is a responsibility as a clinician, make sure that I'm healthy and to be able to stand in that place and holds a space for someone is addressing unforgiveness and being able to give them the word that God is a that he forgives the Salvation Army's mission doing the most good means helping people with material and spiritual needs become a part of this mission every time you give to the Salvation Army visit Salvation Army USA.org to offer your support and love to hear from you.

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