The Comparison Trap

The Salvation Army you're listening to wonderful words of life. Welcome back to wonderful words of life. I'm Bernie Dake and cerebellum and were glad that you're with us what we are in our third week of our new series on finance and today our friend Mike Harris shares with us.

I think one of the greatest enemies of our peace when it comes refinances the comparison trap. How much do we measure our success by comparing it with others, trying to keep up with the Joneses. It's the dumbest thing I don't understand why we do that neither the comparison game is a difficult one because it often makes you want to go buy things you don't need to buy because someone else has that are you just feel like you can't live without it because someone has it you not believe the Cheryl but the Bible has something to say about this very thing, what's not Bernie I'm glad that you asked in Galatians chapter 6 verses four through six.

It says each one should test their own actions, then they can take pride in themselves alone without comparing themselves to someone else, such a good word for each one should carry their own load. Nevertheless, one who received instruction in the word should share all good things with their instructor. Now I don't take the Bible out of context ever.

But at the end of this day when I read that scripture. It's pretty clear. Don't worry about everyone else.

That's right, and Paul tells us. Also, just to be content the content. Whether you have or whether you don't have meant be content because it's not about material things can't take those things with you. I had annual RA can't comparison trap will always leave us wanting more. It's really the opposite of contentment and if we go back to last week.

It's impossible to have a heart of gratitude for never content. Mike and I discussed something during our conversation that really stuck with me and one of the first comparison traps we can get stuck in his with her parents, especially when were young just starting out on our own. We we may compare where we are financially at 25 with where they are in their 40s, not seeing everything it took for them to get there. As an example of that young adults in my life who are trying to buy a house and they want the house to be like the one their parents are in now, but they're just getting started in life. It's okay to have something smaller. They didn't go through the lean times with their parents. There perhaps in a different phase in their life and their parents have been able to invest and reinvest by uniting upgrade as the family got bigger. It's those things we don't need to compare ourselves with other people right.

We have to have a starting point right and that's another reason for parents out there, it so important to talk to your kids about finances.

I write a survey recently from the financial capability network. That said, fewer than half of parents surveyed said that they felt well prepared for money conversations where their kids may not mind-boggling. Now the and the other thing is when you start having a family.

Are you ever fully financially ready to have a child now never got me that's it.

It's a terrible thing to say but I think you'd almost have to get in and get to it. You know and trust God to to provide and he will give you wisdom to manage and steward what he's already given you now and when we use those principles. The truth is is that he'll take care of us will have enough absolutely what we hope you're enjoying the series will have a link to the survey on Facebook and Twitter, so be sure to follow the Salvation Army subtest or visit us at Salvation Army Summerfest welcome back it.

It's exciting for me to have a friend and some of that. I think the world of major Mike Harris as our guest for this series specifically talking about financial things and helping us understand what it means to be stewards. We talked about what it means to trust in the Lord and really to just have a piece about our finances and I think that piece as we learned last week is the enemy of stress. That was a great quote I don't know who to actually give credit to that quote for but were going to give Mike all of the credit for the things that our Savior lives were reading scriptures okay with you Michael you very kind usually remote.

When will the lives of our producer was talk about one of the things that we we can get in a bad habit of, or in a bad practice of is the comparison trap comparing what we have to others were maybe trying to start where our parents left off, only to realize that you know that house. We enjoyed growing up, took our parents 30+ years to afford or take care of how you feel about that kind of idea that the comparison trap because I think the little mentalities mindsets will be so much of what about those is formed. In those early years of life, so the model of what a family is.

The family has truly comes from you of the home that we grew up in. So I get it, really do. Perhaps you know in my life. It would've been easy to to follow the same track intellects go to office shipping solely your custom is different will Butman parents of Shelby Shelby offices, so caution into this different world where the comparison was taken away from me so so perhaps I have an objective standpoint that because it's simply notable them in so I can Sony see. Therefore, the dangers of that will leave the temptation to to look that way.

Now I know that our listeners who may be seeing this in video form or have seen pictures of us on social media will find this hard to believe but Mike and I represent the late 60s early 70s as far as our childbirth. We were born several years ago were my boss always likes to tell me that I'm I'm I'm in my sixth decade of living which is hard to consider. But I say that is back in those days in the 70s you know and you had sent two-parent homes primarily one parent working and one raising the children. It's a completely different society that we live in today. Most parents or guardians are working one job if not multiple jobs to try to stay ahead of a lot of it is has become because we are people of excess.

How does that get you Mike you look mellow. This can condense us with personal philosophy courses best when will it as I can with everything I do in life. I try to's of containment to what what Scripture guides me a poem about the home I had growing up in a you just described very well.

Actually, you might my dad worked hard he worked for the Salvation Army assurance Society back in the day Noah and then later the group with the Wesleyan in general.

He sold insurance is worried was mom stayed home solely through the early years on and so that was the moonlight so my parents didn't have a lot of money. Christmas was about the only time we would see any level of access and then it was a relative thing to walk to what I like to give an otherwise warlike about that model is is is I do think it has a biblical standard. I do like the idea roof of mom being home and nurturing the children and raising us where she falls forward now to the will that you describe which is the will that we live in. In many ways the way that we raising our families where you go both people working in the house and some of the chill rearing is informed out little bit actually good daycare in the mornings for the school system is a lot more hands on that used to be babysitters will come into the equation.

So I think we've we've kind of given up some very important roles because of the desire to push you what we feel is what we deserve it.

I think it too.

When we get into the idea of comparing ourselves for what we have to others have. It can lead to stress. So help me understand if I'm to be at peace. Is it okay to just be comfortable with what I can afford yeah it living with you manges huge stewardship okay.

Chip is not charging everything on the credit card stewardship is not getting into deep debt which is which is what that temptation will ultimately lead to it getting more than we can fold. Yeah, I think.

I think contentment is recognizing what we have is what God is given to us and that he will give us the ability to live within those means we have a mutual friend and now a retired officer and a man named Col. Mark Bell, who always reminded us that you could never out give God. And I many times saw at that point major Mark Bell empty his pockets of whatever he might've had monetarily to help someone in need, or even just take a break in his day to feed someone who had been asking for help, he would give all that he could, knowing full well that God would continue to provide for him and I would often compare myself my own faith and that practice but in this way, and I always like to use this passage from Hebrews 13 seven.

Remember your leaders, particularly the ones who spoke the word of the Lord to you.

Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith and mark to me was a wonderful person he he showed me how to give joyfully.

He I I don't know if I've said this before, but he would give reluctantly a sense, I'm not sure. His wife always agreed with him.

Anybody in his pockets of their finances, but I'm grateful for that type of leadership I think that as Christian people.

If we are stewards Lee if we are taking care of our finances. If we have a piece in God and trust him to provide that sometimes we can we should practice that sort of generosity that takes a focus on what we have two may be what others don't have.

Yeah, it's interesting that you talk about uncle Bill because I was there that he was my divisional commander for two years, a practice that both personally below so with his role the student of Salvation Army resources is a financial secretary. The guard is charged with watching the finances. He's almost a financial Sec.'s nightmare because he was so generous with the money but I was the recipient of such a gift effect. This pertains to something we been talking about affair if you will, because I remember vividly is on trying to create will find some way of putting together a music program in Fredericksburg. Genia Howe of the end of a meeting having prayed at the mercy seat with the young man who just graduated from college, the prayer being what am I gonna do with my music degree. I played with the shipment I get a wife, but the meeting finishes the same meeting. The meeting finishes were milling around is a family camp in Virginia we milling around and major Bill as he was then knuckles, Bill called me over and he said to me when to give you pointing to me $30,000 to hire him pointed to David Muzzy asking Bonnie that $50,000 was was was a gold given gift amount that has affected hundreds and ultimately be thousands of children hundreds of children in that community and persuaded many of them to Christ. Now that was gorgeous, putting on his heart in that moment, but I sold the other end of that he released the money even though I know full well you could say they couldn't afford to do so.

Praise God he did because of what it became. A good SPECT want to talk to you earlier, which is I believe if we are all if we mission the Salvation Army and bother about souls than God will bring sense of it all and provide a man we seen that time and time again Mike am encouraged by the your sharing with us and I pray that our listeners have something that they found that they can hide in their hearts strength their journey come back next week and hear more what my cousin share with us the Salvation Army's mission doing the most good means helping people with material and spiritual needs. You become a part of this mission every time you give to the Salvation Army visit Salvation Army USA.org to offer your support and we would love to hear from you. Email us at radio@uss.salvationarmy.org or call 1-800-229-9965 or write us at PO Box 29972, Atlanta, GA 30359 when you contact us will send you our gift for this series is totally free for listeners like you, one per household, while supplies last. You can also subscribe to our show on iTunes or your favorite podcast store and be sure to give us a rating to search for wonderful words of life follow some social media for the latest episode extended interviews and more. And if you don't have a church home. We invite you to visit your local Salvation Army worship center will be glad to see this is Bernie date inviting you to join us next time. Salvation Army's wonderful words of life