Replanting Eden, Part 1

You do this all do that. This is easy to love. The love easy to be gracious to the gracious, easy to care for those who are caring what he's talking about here is talking about doing this as a command of obedience to the design of God to fulfill 100% of what he wants.

David tempting to approach marriage is a with that mindset. We expect to put in about as much as we expect to get out no more, no less. That's not God's design for marriage God's design is for you to fulfill 100% of what God asks of you, no matter what your spouse does.

Stephen continues through his current series on marriage becomes to first Peter 37 this is a lesson that he's called replanting even grab your Bible.

If you're able and let's rejoin Stephen much or how long this tired old joke is travel around that marriage is a fine institution if you're willing to be put into an institution. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there in a world that you marriage that way back were living in a Western world that now, according to reason bowling finds a large majority with the view that marriage is an outdated institution for those who want to enter into it and I generationally reached an interesting milestone where more couples are living together, then marrying rightly are self absorbed, self-promoting self serving world find it difficult to surrender to the foundational principles within marriage first and foremost self denial is why marriage has the opportunity to be the most sanctifying relationship on the planet. It can be simply because it calls men and women die to self and especially men. You have your Bibles turn the first Peter chapter 3 we finally arrived the subject of men and women never thought it would arrive.

You have lived to see it here we are. As you're turning the apostle Paul described marriage to men in these kinds of terms he wrote love your wife like you love your own body. Love your wife like you love yourself. Ephesians 528. He also gives the ultimate command when he tells husbands to love their wives like Christ loves the church and if you're wondering what that might mean.

Paul goes on to add, who gave himself for her is the ultimate act of sacrificial love. Self-denying love Christ literally dying so that he can redeem sinners to himself and call them is Brian kind of sacrifice isn't a partial sacrifice. You know almost slightly die. Do you know die 60% and remain alive 40%. Do you if if you die your dad this is very profound truth, but the truth is that marriage is tantamount to die dying to self desire dying to self, ambition, dying to self preservation.

Dying to self will dying to self absorbing self satisfying lives a good marriage is a marriage that is constantly putting self to death. There's just no more room then for you. Which means, then, that a successful marriage isn't so much about finding the right person as it is being the right person Lenski of the Greek scholar made this interesting statement about marriage returning to God's original design. When he wrote nearly 100 years ago. Commenting on this particular text he wrote this huge QR selfishness and you replant the garden of Eden that an interesting thought. You replant the guard of the is why marriage by the way, happens to be the greatest demonstration of the love of Christ and in the gospel you're in first Peter chapter 3, where Peter is been describing what the world can't dismiss it can't ignore this kind of Christ exalting gospel delivering marital relationship night began. As you may remember with the wives in verse one ranking under their husbands leadership in voluntary submission in our study we explained how this is an undermining of her personal worth or value, but an expression of it. She now has the unique opportunity to model Jesus Christ voluntarily submitted to the will of his father Jesus wise and he is co-equal in his essence.

He is coming eternal. He is equally divine with father, yet willingly subordinating himself to the will of his father. So the submissive wife model is that the equally human and equally valuable in co-equal in essence as relates to the gospel voluntarily submitting to the will of her husband now. Husband has a unique opportunity to model Christ as well by giving in sacrificial self-denying love winning and keeping and caring for his bride, so to good marriage. Both the husband and wife model different aspects of Jesus Christ their Lord and leader. Having spent six versus on wives. Peter wraps up the paragraph by delivering one verse.husbands and I might look unfair.

Is this because women need more help.

I don't think it's probably because of the simple fact that women love information.

Men don't read the directions always get one person there maybe will keep him awake for that long.

Actually not easy. As you know, observed with me over these next few weeks. This one verse four husbands is as loaded as the previous six versus four live. In fact, you can work your way through this.

If you're a Bible teacher or a Bible study group leader, you're probably Artie looking at diversity can easily define it by making four observations I done the same in making four points, Michelle. You verse seven of chapter 3Q husbands in the same way live with your wives in an understanding way point number one this is a divine command. The suggestion this is a divine command is further as with someone weaker since she is a woman. Point number two. This is a creation distinctive and will look at later distinctive's of gender look further and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life. Point number three. This is a prophetic incentive marriage is actually pointing our world forward and then that your prayers will not be hindered.

Point number four. This is a spiritual ultimatum cover. The first point today beginning of verse seven begins likewise stop there for you to take our time.

We ladies went on in this by the way guys that you if you think no man I gotta preach this my wife hearing me preach this day I get on the live it is all trade with you any day of the week. I was fine with that.

Likewise, just as there are things is what you mean for the wife to do an act and live out and obey. Likewise, there are things for the husband to to live out the act. Believe to obey good marriage is never a one-way street and and and and Peter begins his comments to husband with this command. Here is live with your wives in an understanding way.

Now, ladies, if you thought it was impossible for you to have the commands the liberty about being submissive.

Imagine how impossible this command is emitted here can raise their hand and say I understand my wife unanimous. What do we have an auditorium filled with disobedient husband supplies are going this note on health or honest husbands. We would like to think that right probably on before we dive into the meaning of understanding your wife skip over so fast. This first expression husbands, live with your wife.

This is a reference to your address decision.

You know what you're ready live in the same neighborhood be a great idea if you live in the same house that a reference to the address it's a reference to your attitude at the verbal form here in the original languages so rarely appears here in the New Testament. This one time, that one author writes that this expression in the Greek language is the nearest equivalent we have to the English expression. Making a home for making this it does this then gives us our distinction. We we say it like like this there's a vast difference between a house and a while. All hello Peter saying essentially husbands make your house all hello within for your wife and require much more than just you to bring it on the bacon. I brought up the paycheck boards you want. This is an attitude you're bringing home yourself live with well with partner with community with is the idea your wife by the way I read recently, the results of one survey that the average husband and wife talk to each other. 37 minutes a week that's past you know to get the butter and get the kids and let's go in whatever it's conversation 37 minutes per week. That's a housing arrangement not a home that's that's surviving marriage is that's not growing a garden that'll never replant eating act. It's possible were all very aware that it's possible to go days, weeks, months, years, with sort of this you know truths where the weapons are late dad still the undergirding attitude of competition is says replaced cooperation, unresolved conflict, where's the way the fabric of the marriage and people can stay together spouses for good reasons, but never the best reason we live in a world those that do marry will often stay together for the sake of the children that is commendable, but that's not the biblical reason actually came across one case recently and 89-year-old wife and a 92-year-old husband been married for decades sought for divorce 89-year-old wife 92-year-old husband. The judge was astonished that he asked them why, after all these years do you now want a divorce and the answer we wanted to wait until all her children died that marriage decades earlier in the weeds of life taken over and choked off the blossoms of companionship and enjoyment. Those are the things by the way the blossoms on the stem of sacrificial love, humility, commitment, beloved a garden never happened by accident.

Wife and I love driving back home, for a lot of reasons, but were always struck by the fact that whatever you drive back into North Carolina. The scenery just improves wonderfully you noticed there are these beds of flowers and arrangements of of plants and shrubs and crape Myrtle's and sometimes it's acres of wildflowers along the interstate at an interstate on and off ramps sometimes are scattered. Sometimes there are choreographed perfectly sometimes arranged by color my life. I never got will look at that coincident that amazing how that just happened know it it it took expense if I got been told by several people that it's the money earned when North Carolinians purchased vanity plates that the budget good reason to buy vanity plates. I have one point made us the Greek word for shepherds. The whatever will know what it means out there, but I do good reminder that money.

I feel better about that today actually goes to those arrangements and then took time and it took planning and it took skill and then it took labor to sweat and it took more sweat and then it took sweat in the state of your marriage saying is required in husbands. According to the thinking of God revealed in his word. We happened to be the chief gardener in marriage we take the lead in replanting as it were, the car, the notice Peter writes husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, your translation might read live with your wives according to knowledge.

Both the translations. The word here refers to insights and in a conscious sensitivity. It combines the idea of intelligence with action so as not just knowledge its application. One author said it is intelligence through observation that leads to consideration by means of action with both.

That kind of thing is going to happen in a moment.

In fact, it can take a lifetime of study. Maybe you're old enough in the faith in you read these passages and maybe been to a marriage seminar and you're well aware. Where were going as we tracked through this, but does it ever occur to you that a woman is never told to understand her husband's interesting probably the fact remains that most women probably do already are more observant, more intuitive their gathering data all the time they're picking up on everything. They're constantly watching and waiting.

One author I think is very funny, said this, he said women are satellite antennas picking up signals and information from around the universe manner, cordless telephones, and if they want or 200 feet away from home, they lose the signal generally always generally true. Nevertheless, the interesting command remains, the less intuitive are they will understand the intuitive, the less observant are to watch the mortar men tend to let each other off the hook. I talked to each other. Can we talk to each other in saline just can't understand what I mean are so complicated. I never figure out women as ever occur to you as well. The Bible never asks you to try and understand women.

It asks you to try to understand a woman one woman your wife that is a lifelong self-denying self giving Christ, modeling process, keep in mind is one author pointed out in my study. This command is necessarily for us to gather just simply superficial knowledge or surface understanding, like her favorite ice cream laborer or her favorite color, favorite, favorite restaurant.

Those things are good what Peter is talking about here is related to knowing challenge and her desires and her needs and then acting on that knowledge by giving yourself to assisting in encouraging guiding her through like this is where the husband literally plays out the role of Shepherd men. Keep in mind, you have been given the privilege and the task to shepherd your wife until she's handed to the chief Shepherd you are shepherding her home. By the way I want to insert this here, Peter did not tell earlier, the wives the respect and follow their husbands because they deserve it, didn't tell women to have this gracious composure if their husbands are loving, or even if their husbands are followers of Christ because he remembered you been with us the immediate context is there unbelievers there disobedient to the gospel. Now husbands saying she was going to fit here for us is not suggesting that if your wife respects you and follows you, and if she has gracious composure, then you know starting her sacrificial. He loved her care for her now, in spite of the fact that she might not have a gracious spirit and respect for you marriage is not equipped for "arrangement if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours is been a week since you scratch my stomach and scriptures for another week.

You do this I'll do that again. That's an arrangement this. It's easy to love the loving and easy to be gracious to the gracious, easy to care for those who are caring.

So what he's talking about here is talking about doing this as a command and obedience to the design of God to fulfill 100% of what he wants of each of the focuses here on men. This is the kind of marriage.

The quid pro quo marriage never moves forward because there's no foot on the gas pedal and he's essentially telling men here given the gas put your foot on the gas Co. move floor take the initiative maybe say how I don't understand much about her will to command understood well here from Peter implies that you act upon that which you do understand. Then you continue to observe and might learn a few more things and then act upon that which you then learn this is a lifelong study is self-denying Christ bottling love pure selfishness and replant the guard of the as is done in the past we leave room for some practical suggestions.

Here are some garden tools to work with in your own private garden. We give you two or three of them. First of all, don't be thoughtless plant seeds of polite, you do need need Cutler to know what's polite, you don't need a graduate degree. You don't need to know any of the original languages you know enough by observation.

What is considered polite. In other words, don't be rude, don't be uncouth. Don't be unkind. And here's where men like me, you might say yeah that's me. Don't be the expert you know the fixer.

Be polite but is funny I read this recently manic had attended a seminar's company put on on the subject of efficiency how to be efficient. He decided that he would help his wife be more efficient to share the knowledge you learn a few days later he was telling a coworker who would attend the seminars. Well I was going to your house said well one morning I was sitting at the breakfast table. I've done the same for decades watching my with me breakfast and I realize as I watched her do the same thing that she had an inefficient routine.

She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table cabinet, often carrying just a single item at a time. So I said honey why don't you eliminate all the legwork by carrying more than one item at a time.

The guys friend asked why go. He said it worked used to take her 20 minutes to get breakfast ready and I now do it in seven good for. By the way, the apostle Paul adds a note to husbands along the same garden tools the rights to the husbands of the church is very interesting phrase. He says this. Husbands, love your wives, we heard that before the act and do not be embittered against the Colossians 320. Don't be embittered. The word for embittered carries the idea of prudence of harshness of being sharp tone.

Paul statement is actually referring to a man who has arrived at the state of this is his ongoing impatience and thoughtlessness. This is a man who frankly is become filled with himself so that he no longer cares, it is wife is hurt or happy. Whether she's crying or contented just doing another room try to watch the game. That's an embittered state dares heard problem with her troubles. This is a kind of thing that was exaggerated and yet it happened.

It was reported in the news. The couple is been married for decades.

He was 72 years old and he hooked up an air raid siren in his house to start his wife in the silence, CNN reported they know it's true.

But anyhow they reported on that whenever this man's wife complained. He flipped the switch turn on the air raid siren's thunder silent.

Finally the neighbor's complaint take over the whole neighborhood.

He reluctantly took a dump of the explainer the police before he did. It is a lot worse every time you might not have an air raid siren but unkind, impolite, rude, harsh, inconsiderate actions will speak louder as siren is no excuse brothers is there for us to be rude, discourteous public or in private is not only going to hurt our marriages, but it will hurt the demonstration of the gospel to those we work with and live around because the heroes here are, they hear the way we talk. What are they about your wife from there is more for us to learn. However, working have to pause this lesson until next time because were close to the end of our time for today. This is wisdom for the heart in our Bible teacher, Stephen Devi is calling this lesson. Replanting the if you joined us late and missed the beginning you can go to our website where we've posted this entire broadcast you'll find a set wisdom online.org this current series, for better or for worse, is the basis for Stephen's book by that same title if it would encourage you to have that book for yourself or to share.

It's available at a special rate today. Learn more online or call us at 86 648 Bible join us again next time. For more wisdom