Witnessing Without Words, Part 1

Persistent talking to someone who does not want to listen only hardens them, but those whose hearts are hardened against preaching maybe soften by behavior. This truth applies to all of us as we make disciples. As we go out of our world and we share the gospel with individuals.

Remember, this principle. No one has ever been argued into the kingdom of God. No husband is ever said she finally worn me down and maybe the last time you encountered hard. If you notice that responding with stubbornness of your own is rarely helpful when both people in a relationship are being stubborn. It's very difficult to move the relationship forward. It's a soft word and a gentle spirit that God most often uses to break through hardhearted mess. Unfortunately marriages can encounter this same dynamic. The apostle Peter has some marriage advice. And that's our topic today on wisdom for the heart here Stephen with today's lesson entitled witnessing without words, continuing to address a rather large subject in this series, best summarized and what it really means to pursue a lifelong demonstration of your wedding vows in light of Scripture for those who are unmarried. This is still in many ways the kind of character we are to demonstrate to our world. Much of how we approach Scripture on the subject of marriage. Unfortunately, as it is affected by the subtle and not-so-subtle influences of our culture that we watched in our generation subtle and not-so-subtle shifts occurring. One major shift that has occurred that is so revelatory of so many of the things in the past 60 years is the number of people cohabiting in 1960 878,000 people lived together unmarried 878,000 today that number is around 10 million and counting one believing author wrote that this particular shift is really a much broader revelation of a number of shifts such as an open attitude.

Now, toward sexual activity.

A constant evaluation of marriage as an institution affect the redefining of it added that the fear of divorce. Finally, our cultures complete abandonment of war. Ignorance of God's biblical plan today of the onslaughts of moment by moment media, whether that's, you know, television or prints or movies or mobile devices, smart phones, one of whom just rang you could be anything.

Another newsflash something else that were obviously able to see this happening somewhere in the world and typically those news outlets in all of that presents a propaganda because it shows one happy couple after another cohabiting and one more marriage on the rocks fact this attitude I thought was best described by a young woman who wrote this citizen an interview.

I can imagine getting married to anyone. I had not taken on this a test spin as a roommate marriage before sharing a bathroom never." In other words, we can see other things in her work and I still love him. After cooking meals with him and cleaning the apartment with him and paying the bills with them and living with him. Entering the bathroom in a bedroom with them, then a successful test spin and I'll consider marriage you can expect a lot of that 10 million figure to be left in the dust. Over the next few decades, as our culture continues to abandon of the role of marriage as God designed it. Certainly, out of ignorance, perhaps even defiance the problem of course with that decision-making process is is so obviously wrong that he gets missed in the discussion. In a word, you cannot test drive marriage.

You can't test drug you don't know what married life is like until you get what married.

That's when the truck pulls out and unloads you discover who you are and how different that is from who you thought you were and who that spouses and how different they may be, then you thought they were in as one author I quoted last Lord's day you come to begin to learn how to love the stranger you married, you can't test drive of this marriage is more the dishes and bills and cleaning and sharing a bathroom and a bedroom is a self denying self sacrificing self encompassing commitment and that commitment for life adds this dimension on that relationship that changes everything someone slips up during the test drive and how about get another car you can't test drive valves marriage is not a month-to-month rental agreement Norman Wright adds this. It is commentary a bill of a marriage. People are looking for something magical the proves that it'll work in marriage, but magic he writes magic doesn't make a marriage work. Work makes a marriage work. There's a reason why the apostle Paul exhorted the believer to not be conformed to the world around you. Don't be pressed into the mold of their thinking. But be transformed be changed by the renewing of your mind so that you might prove what the will of God is Romans chapter 12 verse two. So the ultimate question is not what your culture thinks marriage is or how your culture defines marriage or what your own heart thinks marriage is supposed to be or what you want marriage to be the ultimate question is what is marriage according to the will of God revealed in the word of God. What is the will of God in this unique lifelong sanctifying relationship where you surrender to God's design for marriage. In fact, I designed your old enough of the faith. You probably already dragging back in your mind with ease. In chapter 5. It's best described in God's word is a woman submitting your husband like the church submits to Jesus Christ, you can test drive that one and then goes on to talk about husband's loving their wives like Jesus Christ love the church, you can't test drive that that Jesus died to redeem you. The church I was in an experiment that was a commitment from eternity past. Now obviously there are incredibly challenging Creator designed objectives for marriage and we sort of ended our discussion last Lord's day on three of them. One is that you're attempting to build a marriage in a fallen world, which means as far as the world's concern is going to feel like you're riding your bicycle across the sand on some beach and not only are you attempting to build a marriage in a fallen world. You happen to be married to a fallen sinner. I got a lot of a man's last Lord's day, and inferred that fallen sinner just so happens to be God's assignment for developing and demonstrating character and patience and grace in and through your life. You don't just sign up for a month for that while every marriage requires spiritual power and personal commitment. Not magic. Peter is going to begin to focus his attention on a marriage that was in every respect. To this day. One of the most challenging marital relationships on the planet. So let's go back to his letter of first Peter chapter 3, where Peter it might sound like he's starting this thing off of rapidfire commands but but I want to. By expelling this text hopefully show you that what Peter is doing is providing warm encouragement and hope, and instruction to believing wife, especially one who happens to be married to a spiritually disinterested man or perhaps more specifically, here in this context to a spiritually dead man. First Peter three verse one has largely recovered this phrase in the same way you wives be submissive to your own husbands word he uses means to rank under willingly rank yourself under the authority of your husband is I do. The essence of this new structure according to God's design fact, the word carries the idea of being an administrative assistant to your husband and now notice so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be one without a word in more specific context is talking to wives to be assistance in a self-sacrificing service to those of the zeros and to those wives married to husband's notice how he describes them as men who are disobedience to the word Peter's use of the word is in its construction. A technical term for the gospel.

Your translation may even render that what the verb disobedient can be understood as unpersuaded. The idea of being unpersuaded as a relates to the gospel. In fact, the word carries a little bit harsher nuance to describe a man who is arrived at a point where he is deliberately and persistently and stubbornly unpersuaded. That's important to understand because what he's describing here are wives who are in a marriage where that husband is not clenched his fists and his clenched his jaw and anybody imagines the gospel get out. That kind about it. So Peter is addressing women in the church who are married to men who are openly opposed to Christianity and the implication of this is that these wives were unbelievers as well when they married. But now they've become Christians. Obviously they they wanted one of the world are supposed to do in a marriage with a husband who isn't just passively disinterested in the gospel there there now openly and stubbornly opposed to the gospel and that's the gospel. These women I've come to treasure. This is the gospel of Christ, who may become the love and now follow.

So for these women. Marriage has become a spiritual 1 Way St., which by the way, can become the testimony of a woman married to a defiant unbeliever but also a disobedient or disinterested believer in either case, the principles are going to overlap all right, Peter, without as a background understand the words you've chosen the Spirit's guidance to use what's the plan. Women wanted out. What are they supposed to do. Well let me tell you first what Peter does not tell these women to do firstly need to point first is by observation what Peter doesn't say okay, first, he doesn't tell them to leave their husbands at their first opportunity they get and start over. This would be a legitimate question. In fact it's it's being asked to the point that both Peter and the apostle Paul addresses and in the legitimacy of the question comes out of the very fact that they've understood the gospel now in Christ. They are a new creature, a new creation. Old things are passed away. All things are become new. Is one of those old things passing away. My unbelieving husband do I leave and look for a new husband who is also a new creature in Christ, said Peter tells them as will see to go home to the husband they have, and begin demonstrating the gospel in the apostle Paul invention, as he writes to the Corinthian believers in chapter 7 he writes, addressing the same question. He writes a woman who has an unbelieving husband. If you can send us to live with her she must not send her husband away. Paul adds in verse 14 that the unbelieving husband and children benefit from the holy influence of her life, which is another way of saying she has no idea how impactful her life and testimony of holy obedience to the design of God is on her husband and on her children and perhaps generations to come. No idea that's part of the challenge part of the difficult. She has no idea I can tell you my great-grandmother had no idea what kind of legacy she was leaving for children that she would give the gospel to staying with her unbelieving husband, praying for his salvation. For 42 years on his deathbed, he gets saved that legacy continues into the life of your own pastor teacher Paul does go on to say that is the unbelieving husband does not want to stay with his believing wife she's not the demanded to compel him to remain verse 15, Paul writes, if the unbelieving one believes let them leave the brother or sister. That is the believing spouse is not under bondage in such cases. In other words, she's freed from the marriage vow her unbelieving husband no longer wants to maintain that she is free to remarry. So the apostle Peter and the apostle Paul agree. And of course they should understand them well. Inspired by the same spirit and are saying the same thing that the first thing Peter then doesn't say is that the wife has a free pass. Now that she's a believer to get rid of her old unbelieving husband and find a new better first opportunity. Secondly, Peter does not tell her to preach to her husband at every opportunity. By the way, Peter is actually giving her out here. What might not seem at first as hopeful. He's giving her hope why he's letting her know that she is not responsible for convincing her husband that the gospel is true that he is wrong and she's right. And maybe if you just said it better. This is the other that the light would go on and he would say. I know that thank you for giving me a case of books they can forget outputting the CD in my pickup truck, you know. Thank you for writing repent on the bottom of my beer cans and I thank you for making me listen to Ravi Zacharias of the home to come over whatever you you did the right thing because these women would naturally think to do the right thing I'm not doing the right thing maybe about saying it right. Maybe I'm not saying that enough is he still doesn't believe.

Let me pause for a moment to stop talking. But on the pause from that pull over for a moment I was to try to appreciate how difficult this marriage is for these wives. In fact, I'm convinced that through these three services this morning and those listening online that right now is right around 5000 people Sunday morning. I sort of med. I'm to speak to a lot of women, a lot of sisters in Christ who will be able to identify this context. Personally, probably the most difficult relationship to bear under. Is this what try to appreciate what was going on here is Peter wrote this letter on the first century in many countries and centuries. To this date, by the way, but especially in first century Rome, the wife was expected to adopt her husband's religion that there were many gods and goddesses of the Roman Pantheon was stocked with all kinds of gods and goddesses.

She was expected to adopt her husband's patron God, and more than likely that God or Goddess had been the patron God of his family for centuries, generations, perhaps, but now she's a Christian and he's probably okay at first with her, adding her dog to his God. You know, that's okay too big a deal of it is that him that this one and were fine. You go along with the traditions above, but isn't long before he realizes that she isn't going to add her gun to his God event the application of the context because of his stubborn resoluteness now at this point when he writes the letter to them.

The implication is that he is now totally opposed to the gospel which she has explained to him she's tried to explain why her God is the true and living God.

It is God, the myth why she's following the all they got all the other gods are make-believe. She's no doubt tried to explain to an unbelieving world that irrational, frustrating, infuriating doctrine of exclusivity what Jesus Christ said I am the way the truth and the life and no one comes to the father except through me. He's the only way John 14. She is let him know that she cannot have dual allegiance. She can't play game she can't go to worship with him in his temple, and then go to church and as a result, her conversion has disrupted the family order.

Her husband's social order because his his occupation and in Rome was also many times tied to one particular patron, God, you have a God over law, industry, textile manufacturing, they would gather around that particular kind of worship. And now she's not going to go to those meetings. It's disrupted everything now in this context the husband is defiantly opposed to the gospel and she's going to naturally feel like she hasn't done a good enough job convincing him giving them the right word the right argument the right example she's passionate course. She's passionate she knows he's going to help. She's going to have. She doesn't want she's going to naturally think I need to save more, not less. I need to turn the heat up none of Peter says here say less notice so that they may be one without a word, that is, Peter doesn't say that they may be one without the word because faith comes by hearing and hearing by what the word of God. Romans 1017 a course you must be ready to speak about Christ.

Peter is denying the Peter's encouraging here and making sure she understands it. Taking the initiative isn't the solution effectively only deepen his defiance even more. What one author wrote it this way, 100 years ago. Commenting on this text that I quote him to persist in talking to someone who does not want to listen only hardens them more, but those whose hearts are hardened against preaching may be softened by behavior, by the way, this truth applies to all of us as we make disciples. As we go out into our world and we share the gospel with individuals. Remember, this principle. No one has ever been argued into the kingdom of God. No one no one has ever been debated into the family of God.

No husband is ever said she finally wore me down and beat me as I got saved instead of turning up the heat. Peter tells them to turn it down. Let your witness be with out word you could render it without talking without pleading without arguing. Granted the temptations in her own soul is going to stem not only from the reality of his eternal damnation in her prayers daily throughout the day, or for his salvation that that's a huge part of it but there's another part of it in that relates to the misconception of what she might have in your heart about a Christian marriage. She's never had one and she perhaps is come to the understanding she looks at couples around her in the assembly, that of her husband gets saved, they are going to experience marital less like she's never experienced. I mean if he comes to faith. Not only will he be saved. He can then save her from loneliness or frustration or discontentment, and on and on. I'm surely a Christian marriage doesn't involve any that a Christian wife never feels any of that right. Surely a Christian husband has a corner on communication skills wisely knowing men's on that one not Christian marriages involve work to Christian marriages have communication difficulties to because Christians are still fallen sinners to Peter has a spirit inspired strategy but here it is universal and they may be one without a word by the behavior of their wives earlier. By the way chapter 2 in verse 12, you look over there, Peter uses the same with the kindly believers a live to silence the slander of unbelievers watching keep your behavior. Excellent rights as they observe your good deeds now uses that same phrase here and he implies the end of the unbelieving world is watching you more than you know. 11 there watching you and Peter selling the wine more than you know your husband is watching you. They are observing your behavior.

The verb to observed is referring to just a casual glance, but a steady careful observation is a rare verb is used for someone who is a spectator.

They are an eyewitness in their carefully watching what is unfolding the idea here rather than hearing the gospel from you.

Peter says let them see the gospel in an watching your demeanor your behavior is living out what becomes an undeniable supernatural demonstration that there really must be a living God in your life you live that way is the unbelieving husband is out to something she treasured through the marriage or any kind of close relation with the nonbeliever, you'd be very concerned for the condition of that person's soul badgering and pestering that person is not helpful.

We've seen today what is helpful. It's the steady faithful witness of living out the gospel, even when you're living in out before someone who's hostile to it. I hope this lesson was an encouragement to you today. Thanks for joining us this is wisdom for the heart with Stephen Devi. Today's lesson is called witnessing without words. Stephen is not done with this message, but since were out of time.

Organist stop right here and bring you the conclusion to this lesson.

Next time.

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