“I Take You…” (Part 1 of 2)

We live in a culture where the significance of the marriage relationship has become increasingly trivialized and that makes it easy for us to become confused about what marriage truly is and what it isn't today on Truth for Life.

Alistair Begg looks at four common views of marriage and explains why all of them fall short of God's standard like you to turn again once again with me to the last book of the Old Testament to Malachi is returning there. Let's just take a moment and acknowledge our dependence upon God as we study the Bible together.

Father, we do not simply out of routine, and bow our heads before you as we open the pages of holy Scripture, we come because we must because we need to because we could distort the word of God. We can seek to dilute the word of God, we could try and rest it to our own destruction so we need the Holy Spirit to shine into our minds to aluminum to as the page to take the voice of a mere man and make it a very voice of God as the Bible is open for us, give as attentive minds open hearts obedient wills for Jesus sake.

Amen we got a deal this morning with this matter of the covenant of marriage as a schoolboy in England walking to school and home from school. I routinely passed a number of church building. One of them had a sign outside of it, which identified the minister's name, the times of the service and then said that the minister was available to do two things. One, to conduct the burial of the dead and to to engage in the solemnized nation of marriage.

The solemnized vision of marriage time in about 16 and I used to look that word and say the solemnized vision of marriage.

There's an interesting word. I think about my mind is that I don't ever want this guy to do my marriage because it sounds like it might be dreadfully dull.

Could he have a word of the other was a little more appealing like the celebration of marriage or something. I saw all larger national merit. I just imagine the guy very small and here I stand today to tell you that having lived through the second half of the 20th century, and now been given the privilege of embracing the 21st and seeing the way in which marriage has been both marginalized and trivialized outside and inside the church. I am prepared to raise a flag for the word solemn and ionization. It is a very good were, and indeed we might argue that the absence of the word in relationship to the conducting of marriage and the engaging in marriage is in part to contribute three factor to the manifold confusion and chaos which exists both outside the framework of the church and sadly also within such confusion is not unique to our here what it so we would not be able to read church history and and find that it was littered with the challenges that men and women face in this regard. Certainly, here we find ourselves hundreds of years before the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ and Malachi. The prophet is calling his generation to accountant for an absence of faithfulness.

Their faithless people. They have broken faith. Verse 10 with one another. They have broken faith by marrying the daughter of a fallen God. In other words, instead of staying true to Yahweh instead of staying true to the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. They have determined that in intermarriage they will introduce some form of dilution whereby they are no longer focused as they should be and you will see that they have also manifested their faithlessness by breaking faith with their marriage partners now.

It should be very clear to you that these individuals had not given up on religious observance. But what he discovered was that there coming before God was not being responded to in a way that the whole that somehow or another.

Despite all of their tears and all other protestations that God did not seem to be satisfied with the worship they were bringing in with the sacrifices that they were offering. And so they asked the question why why is it that when we come to worship. It's just not there.

Why is it that I do not have a sense of the immediate presence of God. Why is it of course the answer is your sins have created a barrier between you and your God. And so the answer is given by the prophet Malachi. You ask why verse 14. Let me tell you why he says it is because the Lord is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth. God stands is it where presides over your marriage. He sees you he sees her, or he sees her, and he sees him, and he recognizes that all is not well though she is your partner, you have broken faith with her. You have disestablished your marriage covenant ICQ again this is not a unique 21st century phenomena. This is hundreds of years before Christ. The people in this day will in in Malachi's day would've been completely latching on to much of the contemporary lyricism that fills the airwaves of our radio stations. For example at people from Malachi's day, if they had listened to the lyrics of Paul Simon arguably one of the better lyricists of the and of the 20th century in popular terms at least as he writes about making a journey down to Memphis Tennessee with the child of his first marriage and is a reflects on the disintegration of his relationship with his wife and then as he writes she comes back to tell me she's gone. That is actually the those are two fabulous lines, are they not for start. She comes back to tell me she's gone. As if I didn't know is if I didn't know my own bed as if I didn't know the way she brushes her hair from her forehead and I said, losing love is like a window in your heart.

Everybody seizure blown apart.

Everybody sees the winning all I'm going to Graceland.

I am in evidence as Paul Simon is one of my hopes and dreams, but either a sneaking suspicion that given his Judy is the background.

Given his grasp of things. He recognizes that in singing about Graceland. He knows that in the confusion and chaos of disintegrated relationships the journey that needs to be taken is a journey to the land of grace.

Whenever grace and mercy is to be found. He says I need to go to Graceland and of course it fits you see with the whole idea of Elvis and so on.

He said all of that by way of introductions are kind of long introduction. But don't worry because I get shorter from here. It's imperative that we need to define our terms. What is a covenant. What is a covenant. I bet if I gave your sheet of paper. We couldn't come up with half a dozen decent descriptions of a covenant.

Even the attorneys would be hard-pressed when you are the dictionary. This process that a covenant is a mutual agreement between two or more people to do or refrain from doing certain things. A mutual agreement between two or more people to do or refrain from doing certain things. Therefore, in a marriage covenant. A man and a woman commit themselves to each other for life and on the basis of solemn values, they become one. They don't become one and then make vows they make vows and as a result of this contractual covenantal relationship that is established they become one with each other intellectually, emotionally, physically, sociologically, and so on. They are completely interwoven with one another and it is in that context that all of the benefits of manager to be enjoy. That is why to isolate from that context.

For example, the physical expressions of sexual union is to make a monstrosity on the whole event because it is built with in the framework of the covenant commitment all people, men and women to one another.

That's why we say when we conduct marriage ceremonies and you know it gets very quiet always amazed and thrilled to hear just how quiet it is when I say to the couple. We are gathered here in the presence of God and before this congregation to join together this man and woman in marriage. Marriage is a special and unique relationship commandment in the Bible and is honorable in all, and set apart as secret, signifying the wonderful spiritual union between Christ and the church. Therefore, it is not to be entered upon lightly or carelessly but thoughtfully, with reverence for God with due consideration of the purposes for which it was established by God. It was established by for the health of human society which can be strong and happy only were the marriage bond is held in order. It was established for the continuance of family life that children as God intended were gifts from the Lord should be brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord and it was established for the comfort and strength that husband and wife ought to give to one another and then the minister says if, therefore, anyone can show any just cause why these two may not be lawfully joined together in marriage led him now speak or else hereafter forever hold his peace and then I require in charge. You both that if either of you know any reason why you may not be lawfully joined together in marriage you do now declares do you know how many young couples asked me to take these two questions out of my marriage ceremony. We don't want those questions. They said it sounds so solemn. It sounds so awesome.

It sounds so it sounds so daunting. Yanks Yanks what you want to sign on the back of a cornflakes box and run off into the night.

It's the covenants. It is a covenant and you need to go back and read your own church history I didn't take time this morning, but you have to correct about the 14th century before you find this terminology being used. You actually have to get to the book of Malachi before you get covenant being applied to marriage their son?

Proverbs chapter 2. Writing is the larger issue of covenant, the time of Calvin. He is making it very very clear about what is taking place in a marriage.

He says it is not as Roman Catholicism was teaching a sacramental institution of the church but rather covenantal association of the entire community you getting married is not just your little deal. It's all of our deal.

It's everybody's deal because if you make a hash of it affects us, affects our street.

It affects our family. It affects our neighborhood.

It affects our town will live to ourselves and die to ourselves. We will be married to ourselves.

When you think about that. It is romantic and it is so counterculture to our day marital parties in Collins. They swore their betrothal's and the spouse will be for each other and God, rendering all marriages tried party agreements with God is 1/3 party witness participant and judge the couple's parents as God's lieutenants for their children gave their consent to the union to witnesses as God's priests to their peers serve as witnesses to the marriage and the minister holding God. Spiritual power of the word blessed the couple and admonish them in their spiritual duties. The magistrate, holding God's temporal power of the sword register. The couple and protected them in their person and property, and each of these parties was considered essential to the legitimacy of the marriage or the each represented a different dimension of God's involvement in the covenant to omit any such party was in effect to omit God from the marriage covenant. Now if you don't get it by defining it in those terms, let me help you to get it by defining it antithetic hours. Let's see what marriage isn't. Let's let's look at very quickly and for un-biblical alternative views of marriage, your ethical scarring runs these will jump up and hit you, you hear them in the mall you meet them in the matter said seeing marriage is a covenant, a tri-party arrangement where God is witness to what is said couples see marriage is simply a convention to be adopted a convention to be adopted in other words, it doesn't is not a creation ordinance using marriage comes before society is established.

Understand, I don't. God creates and establishes marriage before society is structured. It predates the notion that we need a village Adam and Eve did need a village needed God and they needed each other. You need a village either, but young couples come to you and say you know at marriage is no divine sanction.

It is no divine mandate were not sure when it came from. Apparently somebody in the past that it would be a good idea if I have a manner woman's and spend some time together and created babies. In other words, it is not a divine creation ordinance. It is a humanly devised experiment. So if young people grow up believing that marriage is just a humanly devised experiment. Of course they grew up with a conviction that it doesn't matter if the experiment fails and he can walk away from it any time they can turn the lights off in the Liberace and they can go after all it was a human experiment. It didn't work. I let me go and try another LaBarge it let me try another experiment. Why, because if you had not in terms of the divine covenant that it is, but they do it in terms of a convention that is simply adult or that marriage becomes a consequence to be absorbed because they have taken the law of God and and up turned it and engage in a 1/union to begin with there then feeling the pressure of society, such as it still remains determined that they will quotes get married in order to legalize their mating habits so marriage simply becomes a legalize form of sexual exploration that is not marriage physical union is a constituent part of marriage, but physical union by itself is not marriage. Physical union does not create a marriage nor does physical adultery dissolve a marriage necessarily because the marriage is something far more comprehensive than that which is expressed in that consuming element leader of our young people to visit Wallace to suggest we do what we do it we read is that it is.

My grandmother was coming from. From Idaho on she hates the fight that I live with Bill and so you know, whatever doesn't matter doesn't know is a piece of paper from the City Hall quotes Joni Mitchell on the album blue convention to be adopted a consequence to be absorbed or a convenience simply to be arranged at kind of annual renewable contract the same way you reproduce your your drivers license. Go get a new picture to go get a new license you good for another three years. See around and if possible put into it a free agency clause so that every two or three years you get a chance to split. You know, without any kind of liability at all. Your prenuptial agreement why because you haven't got a covenant you are covenant, you don't need a prenuptial agreement to get a prenuptial agreement. Your goal and find it and burn it and see if you regard marriage is a convention. As a consequence is a convenience, and of course children have to surrounded by all kinds of mechanisms in order to safeguard yourself in case he or she doesn't meet your expectations, and consequently when you put all this together. You realize why many people regard marriage is simply a cage to be avoided is just a cage to be avoided on again.

That can't 1976 was a long time ago.

Now this is for my files. When marriage is just a cage.

Jill Tweedy 14 years old at that time writing for the Guardian newspaper rights are very liberated expression of why she regards the notion of a covenantal contract of marriage is being something just completely passé.

She says, in my view, the divorce rate is going up for one obvious reason the kind of marriage.

We are expected to support simply doesn't suit as anymore. It falls apart because it is become a sort of antilife structure cage. The expectation that we should live together in a monogamous relationship throughout all of our days go. She says against our deepest nature, stunting our growth making demands upon those that require distorted life's to fulfill so she concludes outside the bonds of Christian marriage. We will I hold learned for the first time. Love is all about know we won't. You may find out what lust is all about what you will find what love is all about. You may find out what abject selfishness is all about what you won't find out what the nature of self giving love is about planning on getting married we pay attention to planning on running out on what basis.

In an article that I can even quote from because it is so heinous when a fellow called Mark Goldblatt who is a teacher in the fashion Institute of technology, the State University of New York, he describes on the 20th anniversary of MTV. The total filth that we have exported 270 nations of the world, thereby allowing the world to look on and see America must be a great place when they can do all that stuff is what he says in 1993 MTV tackle religion with his hour-long report on the seven deadly sins, sneering celebrities and pimply faced friends chimed in on the subject said viewer Tonya sin is kind of like that raw that people beat you over the head with but don't tell me how to live my life unless you've walked in my shoes. That sentiment was echoed by rapper Ice-T quotes I don't think anyone else can pass judgment on anyone and tell them they're sinning. Ice-T also just suggested not feeling good about yourself was the biggest sin of all. I see this this is the worldview of people. This is the idea of freedom. Freedom is being able to completely please myself and did nothing to do with a moral awareness of the unenforceable apartness of society is simply I can do what I like. That's freedom. And as soon as that is that is embraces freedom and the notions that were now dealing with here in terms of a covenantal relationship with God completely passé is so significant that we understand that God intends for marriage to be a unique sacred lifelong commitment to convention or consequence or a convenience or a cage listing to Truth for Life with Alastair Bragg we been learning about marriage relationships in our series, we too are one.

This is a study you can own along with other teaching from Alastair on Christian relationships. This collection of series comes on a USB weave titled God's design for life together, you'll find it online that Truth for Life.org/store.

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Bible teaching of Alastair Bragg is furnished by Truth for Life Learning is for Living