Marriage: God’s Design (Part 1 of 2)

There are studies that show there's a growing trend in what's called coupling people seem to be less inclined to commit to lifelong marriage relationships are more likely to opt for serial relationships or cohabitating partnerships has the biblical view of marriage become outdated or irrelevant today on Truth for Life Alastair Begg addresses this important issue is reading from the 53rd verse of John seven Eddie went each to his own house by Jesus went to the Mount of olives early in the morning he came again to the temple all the people came to him and he sat down and taught them the scribes and the Pharisees brought a womanhood been caught in adultery and placing her in the midst they said to him, teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery now in the law Moses commanded us to stone such women.

So what you say this, they said to test him that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground and as they continue to ask him.

He stood up and said to them, let him who is without sin among you, be the first to throw a stone at her. And once more, he bent down and wrote on the ground, but when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him, Jesus stood up and said to her, woman wearing has no one condemned you. She said no one Lord and Jesus said, neither do I condemn you go and from now on sin no more, and is returned to the Bible. Let's turn to God and ask for his help. Father what we do not know. Please teach us what we do not have.

Please give us what we are not, please make us for Jesus sake. Amen. While the verses to which I should like to draw your attention are the final three in Ephesians 5. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound and I'm saying that it refers to Christ and the church, however, that each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband in each of these studies and there been a few of them. We've noted the way in which the instruction of Paul is not grounded in the culture of first century Ephesus, but is actually grounded in creation itself.

The reason that is so important is, in part because it is not uncommon for people when we are willing to talk concerning what the Bible says in this case about marriage and husbands and wives for the response to be well of course we know that that was written a long long time ago in a very different place from now it was all about first century culture and we live now in the 21st century and therefore presumably we wouldn't want to make application of it in the way that you suggest.

Well of course that's why is very important that Paul is not arguing from the culture of the first century please arguing from the beginning of time itself. In other words he's doing what Jesus himself did remember on one occasion the Pharisees came to Jesus and they had a question for him about divorce.

They were trying to trap him and as in the passage we just read from John chapter 8 and they said is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause, and Jesus reply goes right to the doctrine of creation, have you not read.

He said that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and the two will become one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. Now this is this is the realm of our study and as I say this I think will concluded for the time being. I find it helpful in my study this week to create an acrostic for myself just to try and keep my mind in in-line and and hopefully will be helpful to you. It is simply one word in plural springtime flower juleps juleps.

Okay is TU LI PS I know some of you say tulips that would actually be tea or all LI PS and so but you gotta figure that out for yourselves and the one my grandchildren always wants me to say what is it when it's Tuesday now say Tuesday.

She says no it's Tuesday and I said now it's not Tuesday that would be tea or always choose these did enemy that, by the way, so it's it's juleps juleps TU LI PS the first letter stands for the word theology T for theology right.

One of the dangers in addressing marriage, particularly as we think of it in relationship to ourselves is the temptation to divorce the practical from the theological or the biblical use word theology were just talking about God the office and the word of God in the plan and purpose of God viewing things if you like, not from the perspective of ourselves looking up as much as viewing it from the revelation of God in speaking to us is very very important that we don't divorce the two, and that is why on each occasion we have gone almost directly to the 32nd verse which gives as if you like the underpinning theological principle that Paul is driving home the mystery. He says that I'm talking about is a profound mystery marriage itself, of course, is profound in many matters, but he says I'm referring to Christ and to the church he has prayed earlier for those who are reading this letter to the eyes of their understanding may be enlightened and that they might be enlightened by the Holy Spirit.

In other words, it is a reminder to is that we can we can read the Bible and we can understand English and we can see what it says and yet not be enlightened by way we can just sit and go through it and it doesn't go over our heads, but it doesn't really do very much at all. So it is a strange and wonderful day when suddenly the Bible starts to burn into us starts to engage us starts to call us to attention if you like, and so Paul is praying that that might happen to them as they read this letter and for us as we read the letter were praying the very same thing and so is our eyes are enlightened as the eyes of our hearts are enlightened then it will enable us to think of marriage, not simply in terms of the practicalities of it, which of course are important to us all, but rather and more foundational lead to God's plan and God's purpose in marriage itself, and what I hope was come home to us is that Paul, without doing a disservice to all that we enjoy in marriage.

He is making the point that his focus is not on marital happiness as much as it is on the wonder of this ultimate marriage.

The marriage that is between Christ and the church. And that's why earlier on.

He has spoken about this amazing mystery that is been hidden from long gone by, and now has been revealed whereby people who were formerly enemies to one another, especially the Jew and the Gentile, and who are by the same token, enemies of God have now found themselves reconciled to God and reconciled to one another and they are not on a mysterious group of people and the mystery is that God has taken what is diverse and different and antagonistic and has fused it in the wonder of the love of the Lord Jesus Christ and so Paul is saying here is the sort of embedded mystery within the mystery, namely that in Christian marriage went to forgiven sinners live together in harmony, then that relationship points beyond itself to the great mystery, which is the fact that God in Jesus would love those who had, by nature, turned our backs on him and were indifferent to what a great mystery that he would then give himself up in order that we might find our life in it is this that he's been driving home when my friends in England puts it very very well in a brief quote. He says the power of the gospel to motivate a Christian wife to submissively support her husband and to motivate a Christian husband to sacrificially love his wife despite their sins and their differences provides a powerful witness in our earthly churches of the victory of God over the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. In other words, in a culture such as our own. That is fractured and broken.

At the micro level, the very reality of a couple doing their best buy and enabling grace of God to live as God intends provides a peculiar opportunity to give an answer to those who ask a reason for the hope we have so often I think were tempted to mug up the necessary material forces of evangelistic endeavor which of course is all wonderful and good to do and we should do but I did. I think many of us are tempted to miss the fight that just actually by conducting ourselves in a restaurant or in a movie theater or in the context of public transportation or in the dialogue of everyday life that in it in an unwitting way. People are going it's going on with them that she really defer to her husband. That way, does he apparently lead her with such kindness. That's the theology that underpinned T for theology and then you for unity unity easily goes without saying, we understand you can have marriage without unity. But you know if you think about it now. Our culture holds fairly lightly to that notion. If it gives any attention to it at all.

Instead of the emphasis being on the union on the fact that we have now come together as a new unit in society we tend to make sure that we are very keen to establish our own identity, and all I am my own person. I mean, don't you forget I maybe your wife, but I am the course it's true I maybe your husband. I did my exercise before I married you and by golly I'll do my exercise now that I have married you I have my own life. I have my own things to do, you do your thing I'll do my thing. We can get together once or twice every evening and I will move on as best we can and sound like a union at a very good one and I know that certain people for further the matters of life and in in in a medical practice or loss on the wife for some reason may have determined that it is unhelpful to actually go under her husband's name in marriage. I get that but the desire on the part of the wife to neglect and to negate the very expression of union by not wanting to take the name of her husband is just another indication of a sort of fierce individuality instead of it being we too are one of them is, are we to two and is not that individuality is then lost in marriage, but that our individual lives are transformed by marriage because were no longer what we once were. Now this union, which is expressed here. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife or hold fast to his wife… Let's just acknowledge what it first of all, it is a voluntary union.

You don't get married by an act of Parliament. The summits are you gonna marry her know even in situations where there is arrange marriages. There is still the opportunity in the best of cases or a voluntary response to the influence of parental structure. By and large, most of us understand perfectly clearly that the union into which we have entered in marriage is a voluntary union is a voluntary union between one man and one woman is a voluntary union between one man and one woman from different families can't marry her sister is a voluntary union between one man and one woman from different families and it is heterosexual and it is monogamous.

This is marriage and nothing else is marriage. That's what the Bible says in making values to one another.

The voluntary union is at the same time public union that the values that are made in marriage are declared before witnesses and it is in the context of those witnesses that the couple is married and it is not public. I mention which declares them married. No other private emotions who will know no matter what we feel in the day. We are married. You came down the aisle and you were scared to death of your work thing about buying a boat or use of, or whatever's going on in your mind the fact of the matter is when the guys said to you. Do you and you said I do and she said I do and you did and you're done. You are married now will you like it or not you're married, that's how marriage is all marriage. That's how marriage works whether his Christian marriage or secular marriage or Muslim marriage. Everybody knows Bill was single. Bill is no longer single.

Why because he married.

So marriage is not some ill deformed ill ill defined notion of cohabitation, assertive experimental liaison that lasts for a few months or a few weeks whereby a couple can experiment in every dimension of life and then decide whether having test driven the automobile.

The really wanted or not know that is not marriage here is the man he left his mom and dad why he loves this girl he loves her enough to make a public voluntary commitment before the world to live with her in life long faithfulness as swot marriages is not about sleeping with people. It is the public voluntary union before God and before this congregation, I now declare you what you have never been to this point in your life, namely, husband and wife.

The state acknowledges it. Society acknowledges it and the church acknowledges and so do your old girlfriends and so do your old boyfriends.

Everything is changed. Theology unity. Thirdly, loyalty, loyalty, say what we don't really need to say much about loyalty to well yes, I think we do because the loyalty to which he is referring here is a new loyalty. It's not that marriage breaks the filial relationship between your mom and dad, but it changes it.

Indeed, if it doesn't change it then your marriages and for real trouble because in order for that loyalty to be both established and maintain. It involves the man and the woman doing what needs to be done, namely, leaving leaving physically and emotionally, financially, and it involves on the part of the parents being prepared to renounce their rights and to relinquish their hold upon their son or their daughter. I can give you chapter and verse. If you're interested in the craziness that ensues when one or both parties just flat out refuse to do what the Bible says and it would be a poor use of time to run through a litany of the. The point is straightforward unless that loyalty is transferred there. Unless if you like that umbilical cord is broken unless those apron strings are caught between the boy and his mom unless the peculiar affection between daddy and the daughter is, is clearly not changed so that the husband of that daughter whom I is the dad love with a passion and continued to laugh, but I no longer have the same responsibility. I have no longer have the same right all of that exchange and as painful and as wonderful as it is, is because she they now have a new loyalty. Why, because of the theology because of the unity the loyalty I for intimacy. A man will leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh element just point out to you that the order here is important. What what is being made perfectly clear to us is this that the public promise is to proceed. The private pleasure okay you see, I don't want to hear from somebody who's telling me that he really loves my daughter he really loves my daughter not to sleep with but he doesn't love her enough to stand up in front of the world and say I commit myself publicly, unequivocally, to a lifelong companionship with your daughter resisting everyone and everyone else to whatever come to break. It's never the loyalty that exist between us. If you're a lover enough to do that you do not lover enough to do that, no matter what the culture says to because the Bible is perfect and God's way is perfect. There stop signs that kept you from collision this morning were not there to make your journey tedious and difficult it was to make your journey safe and all of the structure that is given in the context of the creative order of the world is thereby the design of God.

God's boundaries are for our good and important reminder from Alastair Beck as he continues her study of relationships called life together. This is Truth for Life. We certainly live in a time when there is tremendous confusion about marriage the idea that marriage is a human invention that can be modified in any way we choose, that is widely accepted in our day, but as Alastair made clear. There are tragic results. When we alter God's design for marriage that's also the subject of the book we want to recommend to you today. The book is called aspects of love.

The author William Philip openly explores the changing views on marriage and sexual relationships, cohabitation, singleness, all of it to better help us understand the challenges will face if we depart from God's design.

So if you'd like to grow in loving others better enjoying God's gift of joyful, healthy relationships both in marriage and in friendships. Be sure to get a copy of aspects of love today will send you a copy as our way of saying thanks when you support this program either through a one-time donation or by becoming one of our regular monthly truth partners truth partners commit to ongoing monthly giving in whatever amount they choose, and as a thanks for you joining this essential team. We will invite you to request all of the resources we feature on this program for no additional donation that to carefully selected books each month as well as unanswered messages from Alastair that are mailed to you each month on CD.

If you'd like to enroll as a true partner.

Visit Truth for Life.org/truth partners or give us a call at 888-588-7884. We should request the book when you get in touch that one final reminder, we will invite you to watch Alastair as he teaches on Sunday from the pulpit Parkside church.

These services are streamed live. It's a great way for you to supplement your worship time in your local church to see if Alastair is teaching this weekend.

You can check the schedule@truthforlife.org/live I Bob Lapine for Alistair Begg and all of us the Truth for Life.

You have a great weekend.

Hope you're able to rest and relax.

Hope you're able to engage in worship and praise with other believers and then join us Monday as we continue this message titled marriage God's design. Today's program was furnished by Truth for Life where the Learning is for Living