The Not So Perfect Family

Open your Bibles with me to Genesis 25. I think this may be one of the easiest times you have been finding your place. Of course, it may fall pretty easily and naturally. The Romans, but beyond that to be in Genesis, the first book of the Bible. The word itself, meaning beginning and so it is the beginning of creation God created the world the one true God wanted to share his glory who wanted to share who he was with his creation with people he would create we get that original story in Genesis, we see how God was moving to restore people to himself.

He had a plan all along. And of course he would raise up a group of people he would call out Abraham and his his family line. Who would be the Israelites. They would be a part of what God was doing to restore his people's creation to himself as a child I grew up in a family. I guess it would've been a little bit like Abraham's family, my parents were quite as old as Abraham. When I was born or Sarah but yeah was not a perfect family. My family was not perfect, not the family. I grew up in a knot. The family either that I have led.

As an adult. We have been all but perfect. We been very imperfect.

It's not always easy to admit that were sinners. Is it we don't even like that terminology. Sometimes we say wait a minute were not sinners and I would say to you. We are, even if we been redeemed, even if we've been restored by Christ. None of us are perfect were still sitting.

We might be saved sinners, but were sinners just say we began to say I'm not a center or I don't have to send any longer then were liars first John one a makes it pretty clear he says he does not have said is a liar. We we do sin were perfect and is not easy for us to admit that our spouses are sinners right thing because were sinners. That's all that easy no matter my wife. You should see how she acts or or my kids.

Maybe so easier to point everybody else that is to say you know what, I'm the chief here on the chief of sinners. I started to entitle today's message the Facebook family. You get the idea. Because the Facebook family looks perfect doesn't it. If we could all have that family this last year we took a picture of all of our grandchildren while we were on vacation and I couldn't help but post that picture as part of my profile picture on Facebook and so when I when I look at that picture. I'm thinking perfect that's perfect is matter fact is, all nine of them.

By the way, well wonderful perfect picture but when I go back to the reality of a family vacation or some dirty diapers on that trip. There were some sibling rivalry on that trip.

There are some parent-child power plays being made.

There were some adult children trying to be on the same page on that trip.

There is a lot of stuff that you don't see in all the smiles that picture I none of us have a perfect family. There's only one perfect family that's ever existed. Adam and Eve, and it didn't last long ride and there's only one perfect parent who's ever existed and that God and even God the perfect parent had rebellious children, none of us are perfect but God is able to do some incredible things through imperfect families. That's why he chose Abraham, when you go back and reread the beginning of the of the Israelite nation in Genesis chapter 12 wonderful picture but God taking a man who is perfect and doing great work, Sarah was imperfect, think through a little bit of that.

But God is able to take imperfect families and do some incredible things. The thing that I want to do this morning is paint some hope for you that although your marriage, although your kids. Although your parenting isn't perfect.

God does incredible things through imperfect people will turn to him and ask for his self-help so the first first point this morning. Hope you will follow along with me on the note taking God in your bulletin as well. There are no perfect marriages converse 21 Genesis 25 Seesmic verse 19. These are the generations of Isaac, Abraham's son Abraham fathered Isaac and Isaac was 40 years old when he took Rebecca, the daughter of vestibule. The Aramaean of pattern error on the sister of Laban, the Aramaean to be his wife and Isaac prayed to the Lord for his wife and because she was buried in the Lord granted his prayer and Rebekah his wife conceived.

The children struggle together within her, and she said it is thus why is this happening to me.

So she went to inquire of the Lord think with me about the beginning of this passage have tried to establish that all of us are sinners, which in turn means that all of our families are dysfunctional and I'll probably say that a few more times, so I hope you'll take that as a word of encouragement not as a word of discouragement. But we want that biblical worldview of Paul in this. This world is not what God created it to be seen and would see changed everything. Not disrupted what God was doing, because God had a plan all along the sovereign, but it played a major part in all of us unless we understand the fallenness of man in our inability to save ourselves and our inability to do what God put us here on earth to do. Then we are not going to become what he intended. So Isaac and Rebekah this marriage that were to look at this morning they were raised by imperfect parent's and they were raised in imperfect families. When you look in verse 19. I like the emphasis of generations through the Scriptures generations. We we somehow have to get beyond just living for herself and for our own time and for our own day. We are a part of something much greater than the design of God.

Families are to be passing the gospel down to the next generation.

If we as parents are concerned about the salvation of our children and the transference of an understanding of the gospel to our children. We are missing the boat.

Then I do a lot of really incredible things in their lives because God created them. They may have certain giftedness and talents and abilities, and music in academia and athletically. But if they don't know Christ. It's the worst thing that could happen to them. We as parents and grandparents are our number one concern should be passing the gospel down to the next generation. Generations are important to God. Isaac was a part of generations yet a son, and he was a bridge there. Abraham knew the Lord Abraham wasn't a perfect man, but he pretty much started faithfulness to the one true God in his own family. When you go back and read this past his background would have been paganism but Abraham knew the one true God. God made himself known to him.

God told him to leave this moment is very into go to start a new life with his wife Sarah. He was separating him out for himself and for the generations to come. Abraham was the beginning of that some of you grew up in homes where Christ was not known.

Christ might not have even been named might've even been you'll but at some point you came to know Christ and God is beginning a new work in the generations and it's starting with you some of you grew up in a home where Christ was worshiped and honored and you've known him a miniature job to take that baton in the pass it on down to the next generation.

In many respects Isaac is that bridge when you hear those names. You often hear Abraham, Isaac and Jacob know about Isaac. He wasn't necessarily the God that you would see as out front leader for most of life and so God doesn't necessarily choose one personality or one type of man he calls all men to lead their families well. There times of things happen when a dad's not there about death or divorce or some other reason, and God made calm that that mom to take responsibility.

What a huge task that is for single mom or even a single bad, but God's grace is sufficient as part of the body of Christ responsibility to come alongside. In those situations, but think about Isaac, the crop of the data of the Lord was influential in faith Abraham it even been very influential in Isaac's wife did help choose or you seek her out and it was important that Isaac had prepared Abraham and prepared Isaac and that kind of way swallowing a good pre-marriage counseling were the questions I asked every couple your parents feel about your marriage, especially if they love the Lord and they love this child, they should have some input you someone should seek advice in those situations, Abraham had been very influential with this faith with Isaac.

No Isaac himself is a picture of Christ in many respects. When you read through the story. I would challenge you to go back and read through that for a number of reasons I think is a bridge I think you could find a lot of good illustrations there is a type of Christ even when his dad was going to offer him as a sacrifice. There is a type of Christ, that is, there is this man is a man that God put his hand on a chosen and called out to do a work is a huge influence in his life. Can you imagine seeing the child grow up and dad have a negative influence house and that is when that happens, or having really no godly influence. When that happens, Abraham had a great influence Abraham that wasn't a perfect father, Isaac, when you read all account in Genesis go through it again you see Abraham really messing up a few times, like all of us. Dad right no excuse for but nonetheless we do, and Abraham remember what time to protect himself. He said Sarah is not my wife she's my sister half-truth their half-sister, but nonetheless it was not right messed up and when you look at Isaac as he lives out his life because the very same thing. He follows in his dad's footsteps to make some of the same errors she's not my wife. She's my sister need to see the sins of the father do impact decisions of the children of God's grace is greater. God's grace is greater in this situation but I want to see there are no imperfect families in today's you sit here your mom and dad they're not perfect I make mistakes they made mistakes.

Maybe your mom and dad about gone on to be with the Lord. They made mistakes to what about Sarah.

She had a respect for Abraham, Isaac's mother think about Isaac for a few minutes in an influence of his family background because our families do help create some baggage that we bring with us into a marriage relationship that baggage is not bad as I often times say when you go to trip you want your baggage and God sovereignly uses that although our nature is sinful.

When we get a's trust Christ in this era that we live in for our salvation, God still sovereignly works through our past. So God was shaping Isaac and shaping through Abraham is shaken through Sarah. One of the really neat things about Sarah, since you have a lot of respect for Abraham. Go back and read first Peter chapter 3, she set an example for women for the kind of respect that she had for him. She was a great helpmate just like God intended.

But she was not perfect she was impatient and wanted to act outside of the will of God. Abraham passively went along.

Remember with the handmade Hagar. Remember, sometimes she would look at what God was doing and she was told she was impatient and even laughed at what God said was going to happen to me. We can relate to how she might've found in the circumstances, but nonetheless, she was not perfect and so Isaac what what what amazes me is here's a man is growing up is this bridging between two important generations grew up with an imperfect father grew up with an imperfect mother, but they both loved God and they were seeking after God.

Isaac even had a spelling is like an older brother 14 years older was very dominant and wasn't exactly his best friend growing up.

And so that was another part of his growing up years. What about Rebecca's family. When you read you see in verse 19 Abraham fathered sick. Verse 20. Isaac was 40 years old when he took Rebecca was there with me and sent me. Nothing went on 40 years old I get married. Well he did live 280.

So take that into account as well.

Isaac was 40 and up.

I would say if that's God's plan weight. If not, don't let the daughter he truly took Rebecca. She was the daughter of Beth you'll dear me and Pat, Erin and the sister of Laban, the Aramaean to be his wife. So think about the fuel we don't know a lot about him will read about him. She seemed a little bit more passive to so maybe Rebecca.

It's interesting how often time someone marry someone a lot like their father that happens. So me and what if your daughter make someone a lot like you. What kind of man would they be married. I think it's good to think about, but here is probably more passive because when you read the interaction it took when Jacob later on Isaac's son goes to this area to run from Esau his twin brother remember Beth you'll took a backseat and it was Laban and his wife, but fuels why you seem to be making some of the decisions they so she grew up in a home where maybe maybe the roles were exactly what we would be anticipated as God described in Genesis, Laban, her brother was driven to money and manipulation, and her mother seem to be more involved and more connected to the kids again. Just as you read the story. There laying out when I read this story I think about how these two people raised Isaac and Rebekah.

It reminds me that I'm a sinner too that I'm I'm selfish.

It reminds me that that I'm born selfish and I was raised as a sinner and that way and it tells me that if I as a husband and father are not regularly apologizing to my family. I'm probably not seeing myself accurately.

There are some of their some people with adult children here today.

You need to go back and take care some things with the kids were growing up, until I'm sorry.

There's some things right now that maybe you as a dad, and your child is sitting with you today that the service you need for your child set aside such you know what to handle this very well.

I am sorry I apologize.

Will you forgive me there's a husband that need to come aside with their wives saying I'm sorry that I know that because you like me in the sense that we are all sinners and mess in our marriages in our homes and we should be regularly apologizing.

That doesn't excuse our Messe's.

We should be learning and repenting and changing and of course that should be part of of now being in Christ. Any changes our hearts is growing is more a Christ likeness in some of those failures should be Lassen should be as harsh, but nonetheless they're going to be there so we think about this. Not only do organ meats and regular apologizing will only some regular, forgiving to write the logical argument is a semi-regularly apologizing so much other regularly forgiving, so regardless husband or wife may mess up the good you have to forget what you mean to forgive. Well, it means to quit thinking about it, think about it do something about my thoughts will quit thinking about it, talking about it. Quit bringing it up is what means you forgive but you know is sinners. What we tend to do. We hold all the things we think about that.

We talk about them.

We bring them up and that is exactly opposite of what God's to see happen in our imperfect marriages. So we built this amazing a couple quick things with window to the second point we like perspective, would you be five keywords perspective seafarers like God does.

Marriage is a gift from God. Your marriage is a gift from God. The world paints a picture while in the world would you want to get married in God created marriage is sexual under file before God. Hebrews 13 chapter 5. My look at Isaac and Rebekah sell some of their story played out to be missing my parents marriage that played out.

Marriage is a beautiful thing to do some incredible things in marriage and he does that, if we will apologize and forgive regular basis, but we gotta see it as God does, from his perspective as a good purpose have the right purpose. And what is marriage about marriage is not about me it's interesting almost every man I talked to others been married while he says really thought I was going be good it's it's kind of you that I can't get into the mind of women, but I'm assuming that's part of the feeling as well. But to be good that in marriage teaches us that without Christ. Not good at that matters for eternity in the purpose of marriage is not about me is not even about my spouse is not about my happiness and what I get my needs know about my spouse what her needs are what she gets marriage about him and God made us in his image, male and female's definition of marriage. We were we were reflecting the image of God as we moved to a greater clarification of how we we point people to the glory and the goodness of God. Paul clearly spells out in Ephesians chapter 5. Yet this great passage of marriage, husband, and he comes out of summarizes it. Ephesians 532 and he says this is a mystery, but I'm really talking about is Christ and the church purpose of marriage is a husband to show the world. It looks like for Jesus to let the church, by the way, I love my wife and my wife is to show the world that looks like for someone to follow Christ. By the way she follows me, so we're putting on display. The relationship between Christ and the church. Male and female.

The image of God, to the glory of God. That's his purpose semi-living according to that purpose. When I do I can apologize what I do I can forgive 13 work process. How do we get there. Well love God you don't love your spouse well in your whole gnome stuff in your not willing to apologize, will forgive you don't love God enough so I'm probably not for your spouse for God because if you love his purpose, tells us that this is about you and not me or my spouse love God will grow in my relationship being in the word and waited being discipled in what I do love more like he loves. I love the statements and are prepared please call time to not Gary Thomas uses it. His marriage book lifelong love, but he expresses the idea. It's not love that brings us to the marriage altar.

I love we commit to at the marriage altar when you got married. I can see this couple sit in my office right now. Why you guys want to get there. You know the answer to that right there is almost always wanted two things is because we love each other so much. Or Scott were so much alike, and neither one is correct what you want to get married and they said this, I might get married but is because were so infatuated. That's really what is man, this person makes me feel so spouse all I can make you feel a lot less special left. Why do you want to get very well.

We want to teach people the reason to get married because love for God. God's call us to get married and we want to put on display for the world relationship between Christ and the church.

I'm committed to showing the world what Jesus loved church looks like crime committed as a wife to show the world what following Christ looks like way I follow my husband's process. We grow in love is not love that brings us to the marriage altar at slop that we commit to the marriage.

What is well look at prescriptions 13 God finds it clearly you can do all this one. Real kind of money you can clean the house.

You could be saying what this person love me more. Why does it discount you can do the wonderful stuff but if you really don't have love that matter, write prescriptions 13 so what they will love this patient how patient shows and what you want your spouse love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, it does not boast the record through the last prescriptions 13 437 dispersal of their patient not very tired and you keep a record of wrongs you your boastful and your arrogant and then say you're not growing in love too much your love for God lacking in your love for each other's likeness. God defines forth the word problems God meant for there to be oneness and marriage troubles are intended to bring us together.

Isaac and Rebekah store that love problems. He didn't protect her love her like Jesus loved her. He left her out to dry. She is my sister. Remember problems. Problems that they didn't have enough that can be a problem and sometimes it's a little too little bit like the struggle sometimes having a lot of prosperity that makes us trouble they were when it comes to when it came to worldly terms in their day problems. I lean toward passivity, but Rebecca was more out there trying to make things happen on her own bad transparency problems. He act unilaterally with one son try to give him the blessing without conversations with his wife and all problems of already described with their families problems. Every body has problems. You know what you should do about your problems like this general joy. James one to count it all joy brothers when you face trials of different kinds because what they're working there working you there, developing perseverance, endurance, so that it will develop character and got us to supply what's lacking in you. Every problem you haven't marriage God will use it for his glory and bring you together on the same page. God stop fighting each other and figured out what's God trying to say about myself love this person through this problem in the 50 words.

Prayer I love how Isaac and Rebekah Paris is a huge blessing and Isaac prayed to the Lord for his wife because she was barren for what did Isaac pray child know a lot of reasons people can't have children. Our elders and leaders at Calvary understand that their reason. Sometimes people have biological children. They just feel call to adopt. Sometimes people have infertility issues and as difficult as it is God, maybe opening the door for adoption.

You know what I think. I think our whole ministry thinks is one of the biggest reasons. More people aren't adopting financial reasons. It cost between 25 and $35,000 for family to adopt the child is what you know, the church has launched a new initiative to help with some of those financial concerns are that there are some loans that grant, but Calvary is willing to help financially up to $15,000 for families within call take care of orphans. We've been called for the fatherless, and if you're interested if you're praying for you since there may be a call for that, but after the service will go to the table 5 in the Galleria talk to somebody on the whole ministry about what that application process might look like going forward. Isaac prayed for child was God's plan to be a part of this plan of God to pass the faith down to the next generation.

Yes, God God, yes God doesn't always say yes. But God said yes and the situation.

What did Rebecca pray it interesting the children struggle with mentors you God granted his prayer and Rebekah his wife conceived it interesting. Campus is their own. She conceived that to God's perspective of life is that it begins at conception, she conceived God values that whole process.

Verse 22 the children struggle sometimes we get more than we asked for right. Sometimes God overflows a look back what he asked for. He asked because she was barren.

The Lord give him a child and I'm sure he thought one.

God had more in mind to the children struggle within her, and she said if it is the why is this happening to be.

So she went to inquire of the Lord, you have a man who knows where his help comes from.

You have a wife who knows where help comes from the kind of marriage that you want the two people are pray as I prayed together while they were praying with each other to, but at least in this instance they were both praying. She prayed for wisdom. She went to what's going why is this happening why this battle taken place. God gives her somewhat of an explanation here. Verse 23 we see it played out Lord said there are two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within shall be divided. One should be stronger than the other.

The owner shall serve the younger days to get Burke were completed, behold, there were twins in her womb first came out bad all his body like a hairy cloak so they called the name Esau after his brother came out with his hand holding Esau's heel so his name was called Jacob. Isaac was 60 years old when she bore them some interesting dynamic kidney she was confused she pray for wisdom, but it leads us all into our next point. There are no perfect kids there born sinners to your children are born sinners. You should raise them. With that in mind. Even that was sibling rivalry among twins.

There is a battle though there is about before there was at that were fighting her stomach. Pretty interesting. There was a battle. Jacob was told on the Esau's heel like what you think you are. I want to go first. What about me.

I know he was saying all that wings coming out you get the picture you the selling of the birthright afterwards which is following suit here so there's there's a battle and God was making her wise to that there would be the bickering and arguing and fighting and say kids. I know this is natural for you.

I know there are a lot of multiple children and families that are sitting here in our auditorium this morning just because it's natural doesn't mean we should write probably were most difficult things parents deal with sibling Rob.

I mean, it's always about what it not. I get that one to get to go first.

She hit me and maybe we can work that but you know what happens when God saves a child he begins to change their hearts to. That's one of the things it said evidence of how you know when a child old enough to accept Christ. We don't have a certain age in Scripture life, but we do know their evidences when someone surrenders to Christ in a child begins to obey parents begins to love others perfectly perfectly. I know they're perfect. Sometimes parents expect perfection is just not happen. Kids we should be growing in that direction of what Gary Thomas said sacred painting about this. Once we realize once we realize that we are sinners that the children God is given us are sinners together as a family would grow toward God and family life takes on an entirely new purpose and context. Children and adults. Can you think of the time you sent last week, maybe even against each other. It's that I really have the right attitude with my parents can't think about that.

You really have the right attitude. Did you obey did you roll your eyes did you complete that assignment immediately or did you delay, honor and obey your parents did you send this last week, maybe would be right for you. This day some time today to get your parents apologize maybe you made a mistake that you got angry at your child or something you did that was wrong.

You should go and apologize for Paul Tripp quote here poultry suggest this is book parenting. No, no, my favorite books is not that you got read it because he says most parents resort to these imperfect kids with fear, anger, and the threats or reward or we resort to shame. After all I've done for you, but this is what he says I like this quote. If your eyes ever see in your ears. Ever hear of the said weakness and failure of your children is never a hassle never interruption never an accident. It is always grace is important to see these moments as opportunities of grace and resist turning a moment of ministry into a moment of anger will make mistakes were most writers often parents were not careful we we can really use it and and beat our kids over the head, as opposed to talking about God's grace and forgiveness are sin and why we need his help and how we can trust him and walk with him.

Mistakes are hard to overcome the world wants to write a software make mistakes just over a week ago, a famous athlete.1 that when the baseball that was connected with his name was so sold or hundred thousand dollars.

We think that must be a great athlete, so I called the ball. Was it because the homerun he get the word game-winning hit were fantastic checks, it was due to an error he made in the 1986 World Series Bill Buckner playing first base routine ground balls tied up one morning we had the Red Sox overcome the curse of the Bambino makes the play on the ball and shut out the ending and the ball rolls right between his legs. Routine play professional baseball player. Not sure how much his salary was in 1986, but it was a lot came to find he had to move from Boston because of that mistake made no about 10 years later he went back after the Red Sox won the World Series. He received a standing ovation to hear the recounting of that there were tears flowing from his eyes because he felt like been forgiven.

People need to be forgiven. Husbands, their terms. Your wife needs to be forgiven wives their terms your husband. They just need to be forgiven and parents.

Their terms your kids.

They just need to be forgiven. They need to know of your love and your forgiveness that this not be held against them any longer. Good parenting is not being able to keep them from making the state's is what we do after they make mistakes last point and -1 minute to get it in how Jacob's parents mess up because the third point is there no perfect parents a perfect marriage is a perfect perfect parents how Jacob's parents mess up with favoritism when you see that over verse 27. The boys grew up. Esau was a skillful hunter, a man of the field.

While Jacob was a quiet man willing intent loved Esau because he ate of his game, but Rebecca loved Jake favoritism. That's how they messed up. We have to parent differently because our kids are different and sometimes it may be more of a charge that is reality what you love him or you whatever there we have to explain the wives of why we do what we do but we also have to guard against favoritism because it can very easily happen here.

We appreciate each child's gifts and abilities interesting calling not one skulls were more interested in that area we have to expand our horizon as parents will bit to make sure were just as interested in each one of our children as we are the others parents are not perfect. We can struggle here. We can struggle with harshness, we can struggle with control we can struggle with neglect we can get our priorities out of order, but know your families important to God family can become even and I know if you are that more than God. But it's not an idol. If you love it because of God. He designed you to live your family don't violate his commands for lesser things easily decide what's important and I'm grateful to be a part of Calvary church where I want to such an important program, but you don't leave it up to you want a leader do all the work I love your parents say we take their water book copies of the gophers. We have our family devotions. There I would love to see you prepare at least 1/3 through fifth grade or take one of our family catechisms and if you get one last week there available in the Galleria on table 6 see them teaching their children. These core doctrines of the faith questions and answers which use parents are the primary disciple makers are not perfect, but you can still disciple and teach your kids. So what is what we do messed up. We apologize no matter the age, we ask forgiveness just like we do with Christ will realize I'm a sinner I'm lost I'm head of that place called hell because I am a sinner.

What we do, we come before God was a God.

I know I deserve this punishment, but I believe that Jesus died on the cross for my sins.

Thank for his crucifixion and his payment and I believe that God raised him from the dead. Thank you for the power over sin: I place my faith in Jesus's death and his resurrection, and I surrender my life to him. That's where it starts every mom every dad of her husband. Every why every boy, every girl starts with being right with God. Right with God and the Holy Spirit at work in you and you reach out to the person I'm sorry I've not been the husband have not been the father I've not been the son I've not been the daughter will you forgive me.

It will you pray for me, just part of the restoration process is a portable remodeling families at your house, you're the little church and we come together like this. We meet at the big church preacher who sees it that way. Take some humility in right now in this moment as we as we sing this next song which you humble yourself before God, would you say I know I'm not perfect God show me where I failed.

Show me where I failed and let me take ownership. Let me move forward. Would you pray with me right. Father, I thank you for your word. We thank you for the examples of the Old Testament you gave them as as warnings for us as examples us even as we look at Isaac and Rebekah's family life God show us hours this morning and as we look that we would not measure ourselves. According to them that we would measure ourselves to what you demonstrate for us in Christ. So right now would you work to restore marriages.

Would you work to restore parents and child children's relationships which you do that for us.

We can't do it ourselves, but we ask through your power and through your spirit to do that even now in Jesus name we pray