Shame, Guilt, Fear, Hiding - Part 3

The heart of every man is a great image or life doesn't usually feel that way.

Jesus speaks of narrow gates wide roads masculine journey is filled with many twist and turns, so how do we keep from losing heart trying to find a way when life feels more like a losing battle than something worth dying for, grab your gear and come on request with your band of brothers will serve as the guides and what we call masculine journey masculine journey starts here now wow we have show for today. I ask you turn up the radio sit close, considering here's my thinking is really to be helpful for you and your family. What about the concept of being free from habitual sin. What about the concept of how you even deal with it are in your own life or with other members of your family. What does that look like what is habitual sin or what's the word that you sometimes Darren where people do it on purpose sins of commission call mission there you go. Those kind, the great commission is that different than the great commission. Great commission.

Now, so take a deep dive into the 51st Psalm that when you send up a bit with a clip from most people know the shows.

Everybody loves Raymond but I renamed it. Everybody let Shane when you listen to what's going on here with a discerning ear there using the carrot of shame to try to motivate everything from that you'll hear about Deborah you make in microwave analogies can be shamed into in a hopefully cooking better for Raymond yeah and you can hear about and why I go to my church, and you can hear about why you shouldn't curse it again.

The whole idea is we are going to use shame to drive behavior and it's so ridiculous it is that you just laugh. That's all you can do well yeah it's it's it's the reason everybody I guess like that show that did like it is because you can laugh at the stupidity of guilt and shame pretty much constantly in that show and so we apologize if this clip offends you, but weren't played anyway. Strength is starting tomorrow is we don't want to miss the morning worship you know of any good Presbyterian churches around here.

I left my directory and hold the all into our chair, you mean your Catholic I don't know Safari for you on the way we chose okay that's cursing.

I hope you refer to the code of heaven again. So there is closing and shame in that clip than just about all the clips that you probably played in the last several months, but I think Frank's the only genuine guy in the whole group.

He's dumb as a rock. Obviously doesn't understand that he's got this habitual sin problem going on with his language, but when I don't talk about that so well in order to set up 51st Psalm a little bit better because we we just want to give you an idea of what shame and guilt felt like yes, family level, you know, when you just talk around the Thanksgiving meal at your house this next clip is not a Thanksgiving meal at your house and we have a tragic, tragic situation not unlike if you look at the 51st Psalm, Darren, you set it up with what's what brought about the 51st will of the 51st Psalm is David psalm of repentance is the way that most of us have read it in the past and end.

David actually says when he commissions this to be written down for the director of music, a Psalm of David. So there's a lot of purpose here when the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba and that was actually put in the Canon. That's not just a little highlight of what going on in his commentary.

This is right. This is not commentary. This is part of Scripture right here and so this was meant to be canonized with the chapter with the Psalm and so this is David psalm of repentance after Nathan had confronted him about his sin of murder and adultery and he is beginning to deal with that. So as we crawl around them out of a bit and again I know this clip so that hard to listen to what you hear is a pastor this this this is a man and obviously devoted his life clearly saved, you know, I think when you listen to the clip you get that picture of the jury's out the truth out and then you know he he falls he falls really really hard and well, I guess. Best thing to do. Just have a list of my names Nate Larkin guy who was raised in church born to the ministry distant direction and wound up in the ministry was on my way leaving candlelight service is beginning to rain picked up a girl walking along Broward Boulevard, telling myself I was. I did not know her price is 20 I had about sex with somebody other than my wife. Through pornography and now I was living the fantasy except it was a pretty's. The actual experience was very it didn't match the illusion that all but there was enough pleasure. Along with this cocktail hatred, guilt, and the worst part about that night for me. Person looking into the trust. There holy worst was the knowledge that I was at school sin like oh my, I am in a trap, and I know I'm in a trap and the feeling of facing your wife and kids and the people that you leave the church and all that.

That's a little bit of a sense of what you got here, but they Darren take us into where briefly you know how you got here with when you're a pastor at a church and next thing you know you're well yeah the last couple weeks we've been talking about, you know, how do you deal with sin in your family. How do you deal with a child may be a mate who's had an adultery, an adulterous relationship, how do you deal with the child who's addicted to drugs or just you know. Maybe. Maybe they're just habitually disrespectful and hateful and angry and or somebody who is depressed and tried to commit suicide and you name it, that an alcoholic child who's having trouble in school and you can't figure out how to get them to do their homework.

You can make this says as simple or as complicated and intertwined with whatever kind of sinful situation as you want to, but ultimately that's what we've been talking about.

And so the point here is in in asking God and in seeking you know so how do we deal with that.

It's, it's the hardest thing in the world to treat those people with grace.

It it is it for me. It is, and yet how can I do that in and God basically says will you know yourself right you know what kind of grace I give you all the time right and and brought me to Psalm 51 but a number of years ago that was recently a number of years ago I was a preacher and in a little church very, very rigid, legalistic, perhaps legalistic in their views and in my views. I didn't realize that I was a legalist at the time I didn't realize that I was pastoring a church full of legalist at the time and I don't mean that in a in a snarky way towards them at all. I don't a lot of wonderful loving people, however, when you are caught up in religious legalism you don't realize it. And so I'm reading through Scripture. I'm studying through the Psalms and I think I even was stupid enough to like say you know what Psalms do y'all want to study. Over the next I want to do a series on the Psalms what your favorite ones and will talk about him or something like that in and somehow or another, God lassoed me into Psalm 51 in size. I was reading Psalm 51 the verses that grabbed hold of me and just really stuck with me were verse 10 and 11 and verse 10 is create in me a pure heart of God, and renew a steadfast peer within me. Simple enough, seemingly, and then verse 11 do not cast from me or do not cast me from your presence, or take your Holy Spirit from me. Well, pretty simple verses and yet as I got to looking at those in a little more detail.

I began to figure out how deeply those things were rooted in grace and how far from grace. I was living my life at the time, now likely put a little bit earlier tonight, we are talking that that 11th verse it out. Don't pull your Holy Spirit from me is as we were thinking that once you've done that stuff. Immediately, the Holy Spirit and all that is pulled away. So what does this mean you said it literally kinda drilled you down into the ground. What is the how could he be asking for this one clearly got be long gone by now you I would be long gone. So why wouldn't God.

God stayed with David and will talk about that after I get some salmon last Sunday. Eli talked about ways you can help support is clearly a smile that it was on the information that Facebook.com where you can click the button tweaking it once again working to mail something PO Box 552 7285 some masculine journey fans can advance freedom advanced healing advanced walk with Jesus. If you've attended more masculine dirty boot camp for ransom art camp then you this talk about this campus at treetop ventures on like putting aquatics guy be flying on water coming up this 17 through 19 masculine journey.org and register today feel that love that's like what I I've murdered somebody I've set their taking their wife is my own.

Raising this child not told anybody been in habitual sin. Obviously now for some time and I've been confronted with it. You know, we have are.

I certainly when I was in that place of legalism in my own life.

I thought that sin separated me from God. I was on the other side and like you said, the giant ping-pong ball that kept getting dropped yeah every time I said yeah I mean I die for.

When I was a young minister. I looked at sins like this and and unfortunately sends a whole lot less than this. If you want to put degrees on sins. Not sure we should be doing that, but I when I read this, it rocked my world.

Now here's the reason it rocked my world at the time I was struggling with a what was a budding addiction with pornography at the time and so I had been involved with pornography.

As a young man.

I mean, I think maybe the first time I ever looked at pornography was maybe seven years old. Somewhere in the neighborhood was sexually abused by two family members earlier than that from the time I can't remember how early, but probably three or four years old until I don't know, seven, eight, nine, 10 years old. Somewhere in the neighborhood and so I had put away that type of thing and in behavior for several years and then here it was coming back and I asked her, and I'm a pastor at the time and I have a wife and I have two kids and goodness gracious, you know that this gang and then your church for the first stop yeah yeah yeah you talk about divine conspiracies so you know, as I'm reading through this Psalm and the Psalm is very, very deep and I would love to take the time to go through it all, but we really can't. But when you when you first begin. David starts out by saying, have mercy on me. Oh God, according to your unfailing love. So you say and not according to my works, not according to my repentance.

Even out of your compassion. The word that he uses for God, there is the exact same word that you used over 40 times are over 50 times in the first four chapters of Genesis, meaning the God who creates so he's he's talking specifically about God. Now, in a way that's not the God who judges necessarily, although it can be said of that, but he's talking about a God who creates and he uses the term over and over and over again and and then once he gets down to verse 10 and he says create in me a clean heart and as I started reading that clear. Create in me a pure heart and I started digging into what you really saying here and ultimately what David is saying is look. My heart is so bad and and if you prolong listener the show.

I'm not saying that your heart is evil. Right now the site of redemption, but David is saying. My heart is so bad. My heart feels so bad. There's nothing there for you to work with God and so you're going the same God who created me in my mother's womb. He mentions there. The same God who created the world.

That's the terminology that is using you're going to have to create in me something new to work with because I don't have anything here that's worthy of being worked with you. There is not transformation in my way – having had similar struggles that with you yet with neither female that that makes all kinds of sense to me and give me all kinds of hope that there is something because it seems totally desperate like you can't ever fix you know that you you make that agreement.

Unfortunately I've made that agreement, but here David is breaking that agreement, sing God, you can take something and make it new. Give the amount of hope. There is from yeah David realizes how horrible his sin is TD does and if you get into the to the rest of the Psalm he he talks about in in verse three for I know my transgression and my sin is always before me. So i.e. he's literally saying everywhere I turn.

I'm reminded of my sin. You know Bathsheba did she have children outside of her marriage with David. We don't know, but he killed one of his close friends. He what about his close friend that he killed what what about his family other than Bathsheba. Did he have children. Did he have parents did he have the obviously did.

Whether or not there were still alive, brothers, sisters, all of those friends and so David everywhere he turns, he's confronted with all my gosh I killed those persons family member. I Bathsheba my wife I killed her husband. The child here that I had out of this adulterous relationship. Ultimately that child will die and so he is fixed on this ongoing problem. The ongoing nature. The consequences we are talking about earlier and Brian brought up that the consequences of of his sin is what he struggling with here and he saying hi. I am powerless to do anything but got I think you can create something and take care. This and not leave me or let my hope is well and that's where verse 10 and in verse 11 when he says create in me a pure heart, and then he says renew a steadfast spirit. The word renew in the word creator two different words. There and he's basically saying you have to create something in order to renew something else and then he says do not cast me from your presence, or take your Holy Spirit from me. Now when I read that that really did twist my brain literally almost out of my head and my heart as well because I I was. I felt like I was lost. Here I am standing up preaching every week addicted to pornography or struggling with that and and trying to not be and I'm thinking I'm lost as the day is long and there is no way in the world. God could love me. There's no amount of grace that could cover this amount of sin and and then I read this and David is saying don't take me away from your presence and don't take your Holy Spirit away.

Will that may sound very simple, but the implication is God has not yet done that and when that realization hit me will wait a minute David committed murder he committed adultery.

He's living in an adulterous relationship.

His sin is ever before him, he can escape it. And yet God has not taken his Holy Spirit away from him and that was the beginning of learning grace for me. I learned grace from the Old Testament, not so much from the New Testament, and so just because we gotta move through this and I don't feel like you're getting cheated not to hear all that Darren has to offer.

The next part comes with wash me thoroughly for my iniquity, and cleanse me from sin and there are some pictures of this endurance can share absolutely phenomenal but I want you to hear what that repentance sounds like you could hear it and David if you read the Psalm I'd really suggest you go read it as were talking on the show today but listen to this lady he really got caught in some and all my gosh God not turned her face from her either heavy heavy heavy skimming and I just wanted to sit here I confide ahead. Alice and I have my ears just raining really loud in writing evidently in black like nice shut down the length back. I fell back and has had a heart attack. My chest is like a knife in my heart that I couldn't see anything and all he could remember was that there was nothing the blackness around me and just I realized I'm dying and I can remember is Jesus. All I could think about this guy and I saw my life and I colonizing Jesus.

Jesus sorry sorry I came to the hospital and came over and said down like Eli. Maybe I got with you, and I knew I knew that's the picture of wow she knew you could tell the confidence in her voice was the Holy Spirit had not been pulled from her. She knew she had the chance to call out still but she was wanting some cleansing what you go to get to the experts on wireless system without well it you verse one is David opens up with, have mercy on me according to your great compassion and within and in verse two he says wash away all my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin and in that.

That's the.

The word that he uses the word picture that he's using. There is literally of of a older a Hebrew woman going to a stream of clear water stream with a rocky bottom and putting her close that she's washing for the family down under the water completely engulfed, baptized into the water and trampling it under her feet, and that that's literally that the terminology is using here and so he and and it's a lot of effort.

It's a lot of work that goes into this is the term now that God is powerful and he can save you in the blink of an eye with with literally a word from the tongue breath from his mouth but the term that David or the heartfelt numbness of David's plea here is God this is going to be a long process you have to do this over and over again.

That's what that word carries with it that is is you listen to this again were talking about people in our family so if you're that picture of Jesus in your family how how can you treat that person an addiction with grace like that right.

You really just want to help you really just want to love them except Jim moved the love that God has for us. My favorite definition is the one who gives you everything