1123. Adultery: It’s About More than Just Sex – Seventh Commandment

Welcome to The Daily Platform from Bob Jones University in Greenville South Carolina today on The Daily Platform were continuing a study series entitled.

Oh how I love thy law, which is a study of the 10 Commandments. Today's message will be preached by Dr. Greg Mae Zach, director of biblical counseling at Bob Jones University. I want to be very simple this morning. I have a number of questions to ask. This might seem overly simplistic, but I want to begin with is adultery wrong… Make sure using words okay properly, any kind of sexual sin is what we would call immorality, adultery is a specific kind of immorality. It involves immorality that would violate a marriage covenant so two people being immoral, are immoral, but if one of them would be married, then that would go into a more specific category of adultery and people would say well is adultery wrong. While we're having this series on the 10 Commandments just to reinforce that basic truth. Exodus 2014 thou shalt not commit adultery. Deuteronomy 518.

Neither shalt thou commit adultery that might seem simple, but our culture laughs at this our culture mocks this. There are currently being published in our country, greeting cards that are designed for people to commit adultery.

Listen, this is on the card arena.

Just when I thought I would never find my true love. You came along. My soul has been searching for you since I came into this world. All of my life at this emptiness inside like a part of me was missing. I was in complete and now I can't imagine my life without you even if I have to share you. That's the card you sent to the woman you're committing adultery with or to be more specific guidance on cards. That's a conquered that a woman sends to a guy that she's committing adultery with. There's a word for that car specifically is called my lover and it's part of 24 cards that are published that are part of a group called the secret lover collection. That's where culture is they that many people have no idea that adultery is actually wrong and yet the Bible makes it clear that adultery is wrong, let me ask a second question, maybe you're thinking, Greg is adultery really wrong.

I may not like just wrong, but is it really wrong. Well maybe one more verse would help Leviticus 20 in verse 10 out of the ESV says if a man commits adultery with the life of his neighbor.

Both the adulterer and the adultery shall surely be put to death.

I mean that's the teaching of the Scripture and you and I want to ask 1/3 question because I think it's a question that a lot of people asked today is adultery, always wrong, you know many people today would say I know it's wrong to be a sexual predator.

I know it's wrong to take advantage of somebody who's defenseless or in a vulnerable position. I know it's wrong to use power in a way that's wrong and we've had so many things in the news recently, whether it's in the entertainment field or in the sports field of art and politics of very powerful people pushing themselves on the less powerful and we all know that's wrong but what if somebody freely chooses to engage in a sexual relationship outside of marriage, even while married. I mean, and they want to, there's there's no pressure.

Nobody's hurting them that they would understand the least. Would that be wrong.

I mean, were sexual people. We have sexual desires. Wouldn't that be natural biologically normal.

That's how people tend to think today, but the Bible answers that I read from first Corinthians chapter 6, verse 13, food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy both one and the other yet the body is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord and the Lord for the body. Most people think Paul is offloading what the Corinthians were saying. Food is for the stomach and the stomach is for phot the body is first section sections for the body and we enjoy eating.

It's a good thing and we enjoy sex.

It's a good thing. So why get all hung up about the area of morality and pulses know that's not the way it is. He continues in first Corinthians chapter 6 flee from sexual immorality. Every other sinner person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

Do you not know that your bodies a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, and you have from God, you are not Sharon you were bought with the price.

So glorify God in your body see once I put faith in Jesus Christ. I no longer own myself, I yield myself and Christ is now my master and it's not my body anymore and the whole idea of, well, you know, just engaging in sex anytime you want with whomever you want, would not be what the one who owns me desires that I do years ago I used to teach adolescent psychology in every cyclic I've ever seen. There's a chapter on the sexual activity of adolescents. They obviously text secular text, but I can easily morality but being at a Christian school and having a desire to try to encourage my brothers and sisters. Of course we would always talk about sexuality from a moral issue a moral perspective from a biblical worldview. I remember once I was talking to the class and there was a guy in the back and he was all bent out of shape I could just tell that he looked like a balloon about the pop and suddenly he stood up in class and said Mae Zach really and I said really what he said I am so tired of all of you preachers talking about like God hates sex and I think that's a lot of times.

The question people have. That was his question. I mean I was talking about morality what he was hearing his oh so God hates sex. So if you are Christian just get used to thinking everybody else will have fun and engage in sex and God obviously hates that and and I listen to them or let them say what he wanted to say. I invited him to sit down and I just said something like if that's what you're hearing me say I'm not a very good communicator.

God doesn't hate sex God is not anti-sex. That's not one of the 10 Commandments thou shalt not have sex but God is against a certain type of sex that is called adultery. Remember, God's not against sex. He's the one who created it and if he didn't want us to enjoy it. He wouldn't of created it and given it to us as a gift so to be more specific, we need to ask the question why is God anti-adultery. And there's a reason you see have been here a long time and I listen to many questions from the students that I have and am very thankful for their input and I realize that one of the temptations we all struggle with is God is against God is against this God is against that. So once you become a Christian, you get to go to heaven but life in this world maybe is a little bit of a bummer because there's all of these really awesome things, but I'm not supposed to doing because I'm a Christian and that is not a biblical viewpoint at all. So here's my question.

Why is God against adultery.

A number of reasons. Number one because she's four things God is pro-joy. If you want to open up to Proverbs 5 I want to go through almost the whole chapter would have to go very quickly because of time or I'll put it on the street if you want to just look up God wants you to experience joy in your life God wants you to have the joy that you want to have and I can show you that in a sexual context in Proverbs chapter 5, beginning in verse one my son, be attentive to my wisdom.

Incline your ear.

My understanding that you may keep discretion in your lips may guard knowledge for the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil and yes you will find in life a person like this, who knows how to say just the right things. You're so wonderful you're so lovely your husband is a blast man to be married to a woman like you and many people are good at that.

In fact, they practice that in Proverbs 5 talks about a woman like that. But verse four goes on in the end she's as bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death, her steps follow the path to show us the great, she does not ponder the path of life. Her ways wander. She does not know it.

She's a mentally unstable person. And now, O sons listen to me. Do not depart from the words of my mouth. Keep your way far from her.

Do not go near the door of her house, but you give your honor to others in your years to the merciless. There are all kinds of ramifications of being involved in adultery. We don't have time to be specific there verse 10 less strangers take the fill of your strength and your labors go to the house and a foreigner and at the end of your life, you grown when your flesh and body are consumed, and you say, how I hated discipline, and my heart despised reproof I did not listen to the voice of my teachers are incline my or my instructors. I'm at the brink of utter ruin in the assembled congregation. This is absolutely horrible. Why did I ever commit adultery. And I've talked to people like the talk to students like that who gone out and committed adultery and come into my office and broken in her and grieving and and they're struggling with why and the author of Proverbs, Solomon is saying I want to help you.

I want to help you have a real joy in your life. Now some of you might be thinking okay so this this is kind like stay away from illicit sex and I got you, but I'm I'm still not seeing a whole lot of emphasis on joy will before we get there. Let me go to Proverbs sexual quick versus 27 to 2929.

Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his close not be to burn no can one walk on hot coals in his feet not be scorched. always see who goes into his neighbor's wife.

None who touches her will go unpunished – Proverbs section find it again. Proverbs 7. Let not your heart turn aside were placed and do not stray into her pads for many a victim as she laid low in all the slander like a mighty from our house is the way she all going down to the chambers of the there are all of these warnings and the reason they're here is because God is pro-joy and you might be thinking, but I'm not seeing a good emphasis on sexually make a second point God is pro-sex. Let's stay in the same chapter of Proverbs chapter 5, and here's what will read beginning in verse 15 drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well you say what's that about. It's about having sex with your wife. Your wife is your sister and your wife is your well ladies, let me explain okay is your thinking along the well that doesn't sound very encouraging. Or I can I remind you, in a desert climate, people fought wars over wells where you planted a city was based on water. If you survive or die was based on accessing water so this is not a demeaning thing, but this is what the Scripture says to a married couple drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets know your wife shouldn't be going out speak from a man's perspective and having sex with other people because she's enjoying it at home and you're enjoying it with her.

Let them be for yourself alone and not for strangers with you. You say how do you know that's talking about a woman, why are the wife I think it's even more clear in verse 18. Let your fountain be blessed synonymous parallelism and rejoice in the wife of your youth. Who is your fountain, she's your wife as a lovely dear a graceful doll let her breasts fill you at all times with delight be intoxicated always in her love. Why should you be intoxicated my son with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulterous wife. Why would you go out and have sex with the person you don't even know because it can't hold a candle to the enjoyment of having sex with your spouse. God's goal for all of our marriages that they would include great sex and that's what happens with in a marriage. When people are committed to Christ and they realize what they're doing is more than just a physical activity. It's the idea that going outside of marriage is not interesting. Why would I do that there was a well-known users name, but a well-known actor who chose not to live in the LA area were all the really big stars lived and people notice that he was one of the few guys who actually seem to be moral, and he wasn't going out with younger women all the time and once he was interviewed and actually said to him, everybody else we know if a successful is with multiple younger beautiful women.

You seem faithful to your wife why I hope this doesn't sound true but II think this captures the essence of the proverb he said why go out for a hamburger. When you have steak at home i.e. what he was saying as I enjoyed being physically with my wife more than anybody else I know it's not like a hard thing not to commit adultery. I actually like better. What I have.

That is what the Bible says a biblical marriage should look like line because God is pro-joy and God is pro-sex and God is pro-marriage see it's not that God's against you enjoying your life God wants you to have the joy that the rest of the world is looking for but they're never finding and he wants you to find that true joy and even sexual joy with in a marriage. Genesis chapter 2 verses 24, 25 therefore shall a man leave his father.

His mother go fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

The man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. You know sometimes people say what you think Adam and Eve were doing in the garden, you know, I don't know what they were doing all the time but I know what they were doing some of the time they were enjoying life. They were enjoying each other physically and I and I don't mean to be inappropriate. Here we are in a religious setting, looking at the Scripture.

They were enjoying sex and they were having great sex the way God and then it's a B in a way that truly brings joy because it's in the context of love between a husband and a wife.

She they weren't using people the way people today use one another. Keepers 13 forces let marriage be held in minor among up and let the marriage but be undefiled there again is the Scripture saying the marriage bed. That's a reference to intercourse that should be undefiled. It's a beautiful thing.

But God will judge the sexually immoral, and the adulterous God is pro-joy. God is pro-sex God is pro-marriage God is pro-love.

What is a biblical view of sex within marriage.

It's about love. It's not about hurting people. It's not about using people.

It's about expressing love to your one partner in life, your husband, your wife, your spouse, in a way that both completely find wonderful and enjoyable.

That's not how the world doesn't the world uses people because I don't understand what first Corinthians 13 five and six say about love. Love does not act unbecomingly does not seek its own. Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. You know if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend that's pushing you for sex. I realize that's a common struggle and I get that but can I just let you know that person doesn't love you and it doesn't always go this way. Sometimes it's a guy pushing but oftentimes it's a girl pushing and why would your boyfriend or girlfriend pushing for section number one, they don't love you.

Number two. They care about themselves more than you. They're not looking at you thinking I care deeply about you.

I want to have sex with you there thinking I don't mind using you and abusing you because I love feeling good and I'm willing to use you to make myself feel good and that's why they want to be immoral with you if you really think deeply about it.

It's almost like going to see a prostitute, except it's a lot safer and you don't have to worry about it being a reverse thing and hopefully less chance of disease. But if the heart of it, it's really the same thing. That's not love you see some of you have boyfriends and girlfriends that you truly love and your sexually attracted to them. And even though your sexually attracted to them because you love them you say I would never hurt you. I would never poison your food. I would never punch you in the face and I would never push you for sex because of that will hurt you and I love you and even though I have the temptation to want to do this I will fight hard by God's grace because I don't want to use you.

You don't use people you care about. That's love.

First Thessalonians 4 talks about using people. This is the will of God, your sanctification that you abstain from sexual immorality. Each one of you not to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust, like the Gentiles who don't know God is keep going that no one noticed Eric transgress and wrong.

His brother in this matter because the Lord is an adventure and all these things we told you before hand and sovereignly warned you solemnly warned you forgot is not called us for impurity but in holiness. Therefore whoever disregards this is God, not man but God gives Holy Spirit trust of syrup so I don't so coats of fast but look at that first line it says that no one transgression wrong. His brother when a person has a sexual relationship outside of marriage. They are wronging the person they're having sex with and if they're married there wronging their spouse and their merit their wronging the other person spouse I'm in a go farther. There wronging the children both your children and the children of the other spouse and every pastor I had to deal with some of the things I've had to deal with. I know it's like to walk in the middle of the day into a home where there's a woman and I walked into the home with her husband who should be at work, but he's not because he's just been released from his job because he's been sexually immoral and now I'm the one walking into the house and as soon as she sees us. She's already crying, which we haven't said a word and then this faithful Christian wife has to listen to her husband say I committed adultery and I don't have a job in this ministry anymore, and then to watch her to watch her say some really you throw away our marriage, you throw away our lives. Could you hurt the children.

Just because you couldn't control your sexual appetites. That's what you think of me and and you sit there and ended so you can do not to weep for the pain of that wife I know it's not always that way because I had to say.

But as the pastor I've been involved in it the other way where I have to help the woman explained to her husband and his horrible and then there's the children to their whole lives they've looked up to mom and dad as being role models the mom and dad that had Bible time with them and took them to church and took in the vacation Bible school and taught them about Jesus and now they're sitting here and saying do you believe any of that. I mean, you're the ones I always thought I could count on and now I find out you could not even keep your promise that you made before God and people are hurt and families are ripped apart that no one transgress and wrong.

His brother in this matter.

But why is God against… Because he's against you, it's because she's pro-joy. He's pro-sex is pro-marriage.

These pro-love and one last one piece pro-gospel. You know that Ephesians 5 husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed by the washing of water of the word every husband is supposed to love his wife in such a way that it would be a picture of the way Christ loves us and it has a sanctifying effect in her life so that he Christ might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish and thus what's supposed to be happening is because we have lives that are characterized by fidelity and faithfulness and were living lives that embrace joy, sex, marriage, love. It's a picture of the gospel in one of my burdens this morning. It's only things we could talk about one of my burdens is that he would maybe just think a little bit about God's not against you.

God's not against joy in God's not against sex.if it's in Europe is planned for you to get married wants you to have a joy filled sexually fulfilling wonderful life.

And that'll never happen if you do that outside of marriage, but with in merits its own wonderful gift from God.

I have the joy of preaching marriage conferences now and then I was at when recently with my wife and there's another couple probably Rh and they walked up to us and that the woman said to me hey Greg, thanks for your teaching us again. You know that that's an appropriate thing to say. I thanked her and she said thanks for teaching about sex and I was a think I blushed a little bit unlike but I'm so glad my wife is here with me and she said no I'm serious.

She said I go to marriage retreats and no one talks about sex and that I don't understand. I realize my pastor can't talk openly about it because it is Sunday session. You just can't. So I come to a conference on marriage and I hear all the speakers.

No one's talking about sex and I'm always thinking why are they talking about sex. She says I am happily married, her husband was with her. My wife was with me. She says I enjoy sex I like sex and I wish more people like you would help us to understand that that's a good thing and that's what God wants for us and that she was sitting there taught telling you this, and I have to admit I was blushing a little bit. Her husband was smiling and ending here's anything here's this that should not be unusual. That's what God wants you to have, God is not against you wish pro-joy. He's pro-sex is pro-marriage is prologue. These pro-gospel.

It is our conclusion, our faithful God is for us and he calls us to live faithful lives. No two things we close number one. Abstaining from sexual adultery. But secondly, abstaining from spiritual adultery. I was concerned as I close this message that you might leave thinking okay more than anything God wants me not to commit adultery. Well, that's not accurate. God wants our hearts. Yes, if he has our heart than by God's grace we won't commit physical adultery. But God wants us to abstain from spiritual adultery. Say what you mean. James chapter 4 our reverse hornpipe adulterers and adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God. Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God, or do you think the Scripture says in vain that it is a quote and this is in the new King James and it may be a little different than your other translations, the Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously and those of you taking Greek you have a lot of fun setting out this text grammatically the end of verse five can actually be translated in a number of different ways and it's the context that has to drive us to a conclusion, I believe new King James made the right conclusion. Let me read again the Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously when you put your faith in Christ, the Holy Spirit came into well to and God is jealous for you. God is jealous that you would love him more than anything or anyone else. God is jealous for your love. That's what James chapter 4 verses four through five means.

That's why he begins with adulterers and adulteresses James is not talking about people that are engaged in extramarital sex. James is talking about people that are chasing other gods rather than the one true God. Whether that's money or whatever else a person thinks of bringing pleasure. The Holy Spirit lives within us, and he's jealous. He is jealous as any spouse would have the right to be jealous if I would ever see somebody as we would say hitting on my wife. I would be jealous I would be like leave her alone. It's my wife and when the Holy Spirit sees us hitting on other gods and living for whatever money or the approval of man or whatever the case might be pleasure. The Holy Spirit is actually jealous within us and saying come on, why are you hitting on other gods, I'm your guy the least. I want to be your God, and that's what God wants. God wants us to do more than abstain from sexual adultery. He wants us to be sure, spiritually as well. By God's grace may not be so. In all of our lives that we would understand the seventh commandment about adultery.

It's about sex, but it's about much more than sex.

It's about living out a faithful life by God's grace. May it be so. Father we pray that you would help us. We pray that you would give us grace. We pray that you would give us understanding and we pray that you would help us to find the true joy the true happiness that you would help us to find the true peace that we all desire and the only place that will ever be found, which is in a relationship with you will thank you in Christ name we pray. Amen. You've been listening to a sermon preached at Bob Jones University by Dr. Greg Mae Zach which is part of the study series about the 10 Commandments. Join us again tomorrow as we continue this series here on The Daily Platform