Short Take: How did losing your mom teach you about mourning?

Tell us about story of losing your mom and then they'll that led to this deeper understanding of what it means to mourn over your sin, yet know in the book I cuts all over the story you know I was adopted as a one month old, but prior to my parents adopted me my mom and dad then went through really a lot of really difficult and painful seasons of getting pregnant and then have a miscarriage and my mom probably went through three or four miscarriages and then she actually had a little girl who lived 24 hours and then died. They adopted me.

Probably a year later Santa but my mom had a lot of I called pent up mothering to do. Mashita smothered me will you know would love increase mercy led to Christ when was really just created amazing amazingly warm and loving home and and a deep relationship so she was everything to be a mad loved her deeply and so I think because of that connection with her and she died. It just really hit me in ways that I think were surprising to me and decide experience the ache. The dullness the why my crying now the surprise side of grace you get ambushed by tears when you don't expect them that whole experience. Help me to really fully understand. I think this beatitude would with the idea being duly ever really grieve over our sin in the same way that we would grieve over the death of a loved one, and that really hit me hard. David this from the standpoint of like I think a lot of times, most most people.

We spent a little time excusing our sin or rationalize nursing and or you know belittling our sin or ignoring it and then we get around to confessing it, but I thought do I ever really mourn over my sin. Have I ever ached over my sin in the way that I eggs over the loss of my mother and it really hit me alive. I really need receipt how I think about my sin and how it affects Christ and how it affects other people. And so it it really pushed me, then I think to take my sin or seriously is just because of how Christ thinks about it and not how it impacts me cutting a lot of people do that that we take seriously because there's a consequence I did like, but do I take my sin seriously because it was a part of sending Christ to the cross. So it really forced me to really dig into my own heart go.

I don't know that I've ever mourned over sin in a way that would reflect a level of understanding of the seriousness of my sin