Sex Mystery

Today on summit like with Jenny Greer the greatest human quest is to be known and loved.

If we are known but not love that is rejection. If we are love, but not known. That is sentimentality. So we want somebody to see us for all that we are. We want to be exposed and we want somebody to love us anyway.

The greatest way that we ever experience that is in the gospel after author and legend Jeannie Eric. I'm your host Molly bit of edge today will look to Scripture for clarity and direction on intimacy and healthy relationships. People get uneasy when the preacher starts talking about these personal issues, but the fact as sex is one of the few topics that addressed in almost every book of the Bible, God has a lot to say about it. If you got a lot to say that we've got a lot to learn. Now if you miss any of the previous messages from Ephesians chapter 5. You can listen online, free of charge. Jeannie Greer.com for today. Pastor JD has titled his message text mystery. Let's get started. Shipper 521.

We've been in this passage. Now, for this is the sixth week and every week. I hope you have gained a little bit more than this passage, I'm going to read it one more time in its entirety. So you listen as REG verse 21 submitting to one another. The apostle Paul says out of reverence for Christ wives submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord for the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is that of the church's body and is himself and Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish in the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.

He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church because we are members of his body.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh that has quotation marks right because it's a quote from Genesis to this mystery is profound. Paul says I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

The main point that Paul makes in this passage is that marriage is a divine mystery that is pointing us beyond itself to something higher and more ultimate and that is Christ and the church.

Whenever you have a sign you are not supposed to get fixated on the sign you are supposed to look through the side of size 42. If you are traveling to the Grand Canyon. Then you backup your family drove all the way there, right before he got to the Grand Canyon was a big sign had picked the Grand Canyon on and it's a Grand Canyon turn right just ahead. You would not stop your car there and get out and unpack your equipment and say look at it this picture Grand Canyon. The name Grand Canyon set up your your your camping stuff their course not, you would sign us up there to point you go beyond itself, but a lot of people do with marriage as they get fixated on the side and so they started to look at marriage is something that is is there to give them ultimate happiness there to give them meaning and identity and fulfillment. But marriage was never designed to give those things to us wind up putting the weight on marriage that it was simply not designed to hold the mystery of marriage. Paul says, is that it and our families are biological families are merely echoes signs of something greater, something ultimate, something more internal. That is, Christ and his eternal family, the church marriage.

Paul says is simply gospel reenactment you are reenacting the eternal gospel in ways that you relate to each other in marriage and that is giving you both a taste of the love of God in your learning to love like God whether or not you were in the sign is not important point is that you get to the ultimate vein which is Christ in the church. That's Paul's main point in Ephesians 5 and so we have looked at it from five different angles. So far today were to look at it from a six and that is to bring all these things together and think about what is intimacy and sex in the marriage relationship look like in light of this truth.

If you're single, do talk about what it looks like you in your life as you as you wait for that and and and what the implications are of that for you now.

Board sex is not found in Ephesians 5, Paul talks in verse 31 about coming together in one flesh in marriage. The ultimate expression of that is of course sex that's becoming one flesh about what I want to try to do today is to debunk a deeply held cultural myth that a lot of people believe that I would say that even a number of you if you don't believe it outright you're really sympathetic with it and you're not quite sure how to answer it because it seems to be the theme of every sitcom that I have seen in the last 10 to 15 years and that is the idea that sex is just physical. It's just physical GED is just physical yada know him or her that well with the big deal here.

We did have a little fun for a while there were the strings attached. Where on spring break by the girlfriends were were were noted to, and it was nothing. It was not a problem set, like food know you mean everybody gets hungry you eat and it's not really that important what restaurant you ate at one night and if you need a bit of restaurant the other night, or such like a sport yesterday you play in a matter your one team one day and another team the other day if I touch football like taco football stayed around for as long as you possibly can come. That's day that that's what it's like. It's just physical is just biology but most of us when we think about that. I would just say even if you want to believe that even if you're part of you has trouble explaining why you do or don't believe that you know that's not true. You know that I heard one pastor exposed that this way, think about these questions, listen why is it, if such a just physical. Why is it that when a child is sexually abused whenever an adult may finally connect the dots wives this are difficult for them to shake off is not just an authority figure betrayed me to that happens in a lot of different places and is not nearly the lasting damage that that kind of sexual abuse has on the kid for the rest of his life, this why is rape so much more harmful to a woman visibly being beat up. Why is rape so much more psychologically damaging to a woman than simply being beat up just statistically women report physical abuse much more often than they do right. Statistically, it's it it's very hot how often a woman will report being physically abused the rate it's a shockingly less. There's a reason for that because there's something that goes with that. That is different than physical abuse.

Why is it that men with the deepest sexual issues usually had uninvolved missing fathers. But why are other things connected. Why is adultery so hard to shake other forms of betrayal, you tend to get over why is that form of betrayal so hard to shake.

Why is it that most people's greatest regrets are usually sexual when somebody comes me with a deep dark secret. It's almost always sexual. Whenever I hear the phrase I've never told anybody this before.

I know what's about to follow that statement. I can't remember ever hearing that statement and hear somebody say I cheated on a test of the 11th grade or I, I, 110 miles an hour through a 35 mph zone. That's bad, but I've never heard anybody say that it's always sexual when they bring that up. We assumed it was no big deal I just met him on spring break. I was in a bad time in our marriage is just physical, but we know the sex is not just physical. Otherwise none others things that I just gave you will be the way they are. What I want to show you from Ephesians 5 a different way to look at such than what our culture is trying to get us to believe if every teenager policy to listen to this until he discovers 110,000 miles the other direction from what you are have been programmed to believe maybe three things that Ephesians 5 teaches you about sex. I was in a particularly Southern Baptist mood this week puts all three of them start with S okay. They are alliterative 1. Sex is symbolic corner.

Ephesians 56 is symbolic.

The relationship between a husband and wife.

Paul explains the relationship between Christ and the church. Maybe that's nowhere seeing quite as clearly as in the sexual relationship. He did a couple different ways. That's true one. When a man and woman are married, they are naked and they are not ashamed. That's what Genesis to said there's certain.

Such a shame that goes with being naked in public.

At least if you're normal that's a certain sense of shame. But when a man and woman are are married there. That shame is gong. You see I told you this before but the greatest human quest is to be known and loved known and love because if we are if we are known but not love that is rejection. If we are loved, but not known. That is sentimentality.

So we want somebody to see us for all that we are.

We want to be exposed and we want somebody to love us anyway. The greatest way that we ever experience that is in the gospel. We all see all knowing God sees everything about us sees our every flaw sees our every fall and loves us intensely and has taken upon himself our shame and our sin and put it away. The gospel is where that is ultimately a way that openly happens but the mirror of where that happens is in marriage because that's where someone else sees the real you. It sees a part of you would sees you exposed and they love you anyway, here's another way that that that that relationship is like Christ and the church way that you bear fruit physically is you get caught up in intimacy with somebody else.

It's a mystery we step back and think about it when you actually come together to make a child not thinking about the mechanics of making a child is a lot mechanics and is a lot of science involved in it right but you're not thinking scientifically when that happens is not like making a recipe you get caught up in a moment of intimacy woman is in the arms of a man and the fruit of that is a child the way that spiritually we bear fruit is how we get swept up in the arms of our Savior, and the fruit of that in our soul is his love, joy, peace in all the spiritual fruits are God wants to bring about these things are are signs of a much fuller relationship. Sex is symbolic.

It is a mystery that points us beyond itself. The ultimate thing that we really crave which is the love of God. That's why by the way, we put so much weight on it.

That's why it's so mysterious to ask because it points to something deeper and more ultimate that goes down to the core of who we are and how were made it ask eternal questions it asked ultimate questions for Josh for dousing years ago is as many people today feel like good sex is the answer for their problems.

Good sex is the answer for their problems. He said if anything sex is not the answers the question is a soul.

It is reaching out, saying, I know that there's something more that I created for. I know that I'm missing something, and I'm reaching out. That's also the reason that sex has probably the greatest potential of anything to go so dysfunctional and become sober will return to some it might just a moment. I wanted to quickly share a little bit more about her current resource investment. Don't let the distractions of today destroyed and satisfaction that come from being learning resting at the feet of Jesus to get started we create a book of devotionals for anyone who feels distracted and even disconnected at times on the topics of relationships they and in addition will include a set of 20 conversation cards to help kickstart faith-based conversation in your home meet these lessons on relationships truly personal by reaching out today in support of this ministry. Give us a call at 866-335-5220 or go online to Jeannie Greer.com and reserve your copy today. Now let's get back to today's message with pastor JD Greer here on Sunday.

My CS Lewis back in 1940 she did a series of radio talks on BBC.

Believe it or not and and CS Lewis talked about sexuality. I should imagine months of 1940s. Imagine that you were visiting a country that you would never been to. And when you got there. You saw that the young man when they finally got other houses went off to college. When I got to college there with their parents out of their bags they would slowly pull out nobody was looking. These posters and they would unroll these posters and put them on the wall and there they were big color pictures of food, bacon cheeseburgers and ice cream Sundays, and cupcakes, is there in the wall and I'll sneak around each other from you know you got a picture but you provided your bacon back in my room and in a late at night they would they would they would all go out to this this club. The low lights in the bump in the grad and music and there on stage would be somebody that was slowly uncovering something on the stage.

When they finally pulled back.

All the gods would start yelling and hooping and hollering of it lose their minds and it was was a plate of cheese fries and all the guys start the one dollar bills that it and and and and then at night they would go back in the rooms and and they would wait wait we get on their computers and they start looking at pictures of food and the summit would walk in the turn off the screen were quick to let it get's it is old you conclude about that country. They're starting right into the sorry to but then you find out backs not starving.

They been glutted with food for the last 40 years are all obese is it, what would you then have to conclude you have to conclude that there's something deeply disordered in this particular culture about its relationship to food. These are the same thing is true has to be true with us for sacks. He said in a culture that is glutted with sacks to have the dysfunction that we have about it past the point to something deeper and that is because he said it goes down, not just to our physical desires goes down to the core of who we are because we are separated from the love of God in the something our soul yearning for insects that we think will find insect what is not there is a dysfunction that goes much deeper. It goes down to the core of how we are made in who we are, which we did a number two sex is sacred sex is sacred.

Now don't hear that word sacred as an exclusively religious word sacred word sacred to would be set apart to think here sacred to you sacred to your innermost being. Here is why Paul in Ephesians 531 says that marriage and the sexual act that epitomizes it is a fusion of two souls into one being the one being they look they become one body, such anything about the bodies interlock. There is a literal conjoining of bodies that physical oneness is to be matched in every other way. Emotional oneness, a lifelong commitment in marriage when you separate physical oneness from the oneness in every other way, it becomes harmful to God had multiple purposes for sex I bought it went down. This is how I think about it we got create a world's got the Angels and these like negative planets and stars in the contents of the plants and an exact like that idea and is what what is it is like well you can understand right now, but he create sacks of the animals can procreate them. He gets to human beings. It's more than just procreation because he makes them.

The only species that will have sex face-to-face because there's something more than just procreation. There is something that is about their souls that are going to unify them. So it's procreative.

It's unifying and then just because God is God, because God does things like this makes a lot of fun makes a lot of fun pepper.

There's nothing wrong with that, by the way, maybe some of you need to hear that that's not an accident that was an aftereffect. Robert 518, a man should be ravished with his wife's breast I think of the first verse I memorized in high school, of my own free will is and what was up. Proverbs 518. Okay, make sure you underline the word wife in their ago right God made it to be a lot of fun. So when somebody says will purpose of sex, procreation there wrong. God did not make it for that purpose.

He made it for all three of those purposes and he made it to be something that would conjoining the souls he made it to give us a delight the taste of the delight of the intimacy that we would have with God for eternity.

I'm not quite sure how sex is going to correspond in heaven. I know that you would love to hear a sermon about that God did not tell us, but I know that it just gives us a taste of something that we experience eternally something much more glorious. Something that if it could be comprehend by us. God would've told us what he did you take that mystery and that's why Paul says hold your finger in Ephesians 5 Kubota first Corinthian sixes should be backwards to the left is a little bit first Corinthians chapter 6, verse 18 McTighe for your visa five order reversing the six or seven verse a few minutes or so. Paul says this using the same concept. He says her safety fleet from sexual immorality run from it, because every other sin. A person commits is outside his body, but a sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

When you sin against somebody else you do damage to them. If I can walk in the room and I will point you in the face in your eyes black but I'm not really hurt by him and Earl Babich are more than I have sinned against you if you're there you got your wants in on the table when you are looking I take it then I gain you lose basis.

Sexual immorality is different because you are actually taking a razor to your own soul. When you commit sexual immorality. And I know that you may have a hard time believing Absalom to spend a few minutes trying to kinda try to flesh it out a little bit last year I reviewed a book called Holt is not a Christian book, but it is a scientific study written by a couple of neurologist who were trying to show scientifically what having multiple sexual partners, especially when you're young does to your brain.

They stated what they show in this book is that sexual multiple sexual partners actually rewires your brain in a way they say that makes genuine, lasting, selfless relationships much more difficult. They say, and I quote the individual who goes from sex partner to sex partner is causing his or her brain to mold in such a way that eventually accepts that sexual pattern is normal. The pattern of changing sex partners therefore seems to damage their ability to bind in a committed relationship, the kind of attachment damage that occurs after repeated sexual encounters is in many respects, more pernicious, more damaging than pregnancy or STDs because it typically goes unperceived by affected individuals, while causing ongoing difficulties in establishing a lifelong and satisfying relationship. The authors use the metaphor of tape which you have probably heard that the idea that that if you take a piece of duct tape and you put it around my arm. When you rip a piece of duct tape off you would take with it pieces of yoga here and in pieces of mylar right but didn't you take a safety statement wrap around somebody else's arm when you do it.

It would still hurt them, but not quite as badly as it hurt me. You get 10, 20, 30 times the time you get to the 30th time that that that Tate has lost every bit of its cohesive power. They said that's similar to what's happening when you have repeated sexual encounters is that it's losing your ability to actually bond with your soul in a committed self relationship with somebody else. The same is true they say for pornography or or him or on auto eroticism, which is called that what you're doing is you're separating that part of you and the rest of you, and what's happening is it's actually damaging the ability of your soul to commit and have a normal healthy sexual relationship that is just pure science.

Let let me give it to you from from a different perspective from the perspective of a pastor Tim Keller mean the marriage which I would highly recommend that you didn't read. I tried to reword this among words and I just couldn't do it is like there's no active signal as well. So then I thought about the street plagiarizing it and not tell you where it but then I also guilty about that. So it would be remiss to you is often it's only about six shoppers not getting consistent just a few. If you want your lesson. If sex is a method that God invented to do a whole life entrustment. It should not surprise us that sex makes us feel deeply connected to the other person even when it's used wrongly unless you deliberately disable it, or through repeated practice. You numb. The original impulses of sex sex will make you feel personally interwoven and joined to another human being as you are literally physically joint in the midst of sexual passion, you naturally want to say extravagant things like I will always love you. But even if you're not legally married, you may find yourself quickly feeling marriage like eyes viewing the other person's obligations to you. But of course that person has no legal, social, or moral responsibility. Even the call you back in the morning. This incongruity leads to jealousy and hurt feelings and obsessiveness. If two people are having sex but are not married. It makes breaking up vastly harder than it should be. It leads many people stay trapped in relationships that are not good because the feeling of Saul having somehow connected themselves. By the way, the margin of my book I wrote, this is the plot line of every episode of friends I have ever seen in my life.

Therefore, if you have sex outside of marriage.

You will have to steal yourself get sexist power to soften your heart toward another person to make you more trustee. The problem is that eventually sex will lose its covenant making power for you. Even if one day you do get married. Ironically, then sex outside of marriage eventually works backwards, making you less able to commit to and trust another person know what is essentially done. Is it exactly thing a scientific study to show you that what sex guys outside of the context of all the things God intended for.

Instead of being a blessing it becomes a curse to you this blessing. Marriage, many of us possess baggage in this area to break free. You're listening to Summit my Bible teaching ministry pastor and author and theologian JD Greer pastor Jenny we only have one more day left in this study. Can you remind our listeners, but first lot has been all about in first love this. I love this series.

If there's one thing that I'm confident in saying we need help with its forming in building healthy life giving life restoring relationships. In many ways. These relationships become windows to our relationship with God. So we got a new resource we want to make available along with this series that will help you and those that your and various types of relationships with help in talking to one another, made this the set of conversation cards simple cards that just have a question or a prompt on them that can kickstart dialogue around important topics to go along with that. We got a book of 15 different devotions that are all around the topics of faith. The rest of relationships, even a couple thrown in specifically for parents how I would love to reserve a copy for you. Both of the devotion and the conversations card we can do that if you discredit JD where.com how we would love to start this dialogue that comes with our thanks and you donate today to support this ministry where people can tie into the gospel with gait and request devotions for the distracted family instead of conversation.

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