Shame

Today on Summit life with Jeannie Greer. This woman represents somebody feel shame because of something that is happened to her disease.

She did not choose suffering, but in the bigger picture. She also represents the same that we all feel because of our sin point is whether our shame is legitimate shame that we have brought on ourselves, or whether it is illegitimate shame brought on by things done to us.

Jesus is solution.

The Bible teaching ministry out there in religion Jeannie Greer. I'm your host Molly bit of edge you're joining us today.

In the final couple days are teaching series on difficult emotions titled smoke from a fire or to change the analogy. Each of these emotions that we've been through depression and anxiety, anger, envy, and now shame these things all function like morning light on the dashboard of our hearts indicating what is going on in engine of our soul are you seeing a little smoke under the hood of your life. Time to get a tuneup.

So grab your Bible and let's join Pastor JD in the book of chapter 8 Bible and I hope you brought it. We are on our last last weekend in our series called smoke from a fire and this week yet. I want to talk about a pretty heavy one and that is the emotion of shame and all of us at some point know what it is to experience shame can range from the simple embarrassments choose something much more serious read a book a while back where I got the whole story from his childhood that I really identified with maybe some of you who are about my age again identify with as well by that my my late 20s early 30s this season because of my family's financial status.

Growing up I never had the coolest name brand clothes. One year my parents bought me two pair of Sears tough skin genes for school, a brown pair and a blue pair. How many of you children are babies out there remember tough skin genes from Sears you member those yes I had some of those as well.

Set all the cool kids have Levi's with the silver or red tabs. I hated those kids. I had two pair of tough skins that had to last me all year long for me. It always went along with the shoes all the cool kids in my school work. Nike shoes and I remember and when I was in sixth grade. That's when the Air Jordan came out and all the cool rich kids at Air Jordan's, and I will start with my stride right and kids that I had to wear. Maybe it's why I wear Air Jordan's now as I'm still making up her insecurity that I had when I was a kid my wife you have these. I told you this, you have an hour to get from that and my wife only when I was given them. She said you know I'm pretty sure you're not cool enough to pull those off, but you are the giver by trying and so that's what I'm attempting to do this guy goes on. Is it even worse when Margie started wearing out and getting holes in them. My mom was big and the cross stitching made a huge huge Indian head on the leg of my brown jeans to cover the whole American flag on the rear end of my blue jeans. I can still hear kids pledging allegiance to my rear end and calling me Tonto. I vow that I would never have to face that kind of shame.

Again, so most of us know at some level what it's like to experience shame, but most people don't understand whether it is good or bad or what role it plays in our lives. People tend to think of shame is primarily just an extreme form of guilt may be guilt on steroids. Guilt unit we think is like feeling bad about something that you done. Shame is when you feel really bad about it but while it is true that guilt can produce shame. Shame is actually quite different from guilt. Guilt is focused on the what shame is focused on the who. Guilt says I did something bad. Shame takes that to say I am something that now. Like I mentioned, shame can certainly arise from feelings of guilt, we see that in the garden of Eden right after Adam and Eve sinned.

It was the first emotion that they felt they felt shame because of their nakedness that had been caused by their sin. That is the first time. Shame is mentioned, and it is been an inherent part of the human condition. Ever since the Garden of Eden. But shame can also be triggered in our lives by things that have nothing to do with choices that we have made. We might feel shame because of something. Not that we have done but because of something done to us. For example, for many people. Shame comes from something traumatic that happened in their past.

You were abused physically or sexually or verbally. You were taught to were treated in ways that communicated that you were worthless or you were bad you were damaged until eventually those things seep into your soul and made you believe those things about yourself, or maybe a common maybe that feeling of shame come from something about you, over which you had no control disability that you were born with or that you develop them, like maybe a chronic disease are awesome, weakness, maybe infertility maybe you were divorced and it really was through no fault of yours. Maybe it is even, because you possess an unwanted attraction. A Christian counselor named Ed Welch describes it this way.

He said Jane is the deep sense that you are inherently flawed, unacceptable and unworthy of love because of something that you have done something done to you or something associated with you, Brad Hamrick yours our own pastoral counselor here says you can think of guilt like staying on a shirt that staying can be washed even though it may prove difficult to remove shame by contrast would be more like a disfigured face it, building a permanent part of who you are now and if you had a disfigured face. Even if the disfigurement had nothing to do with choices that you have made you still would not want to show your face for fear of what others might say or do in response. Shame says I am defective I am damaged. I am broken. I am flawed and dirty. I'm ugly I'm impure or undiscussed the I am unlovable I'm weak I'm pitiful I'm insignificant. I am worthless I am unwanted. If you are sitting here struggling with her in shame today. You only need to stand here and say hey is this you think about it is that you because you heard or thought these things about yourself so many times that they are now in inexorable part of how you see yourself for many of us, others have attempted to control us through shame.

Maybe it was your parents are her friend or a boss, maybe a pastor or church leader. Maybe your professor to try to make you feel bad about yourself as a way of trying to coerce you to do what they wanted you to do or be what they thought that you should be. So they said things you like you're lazy.

You're no good. Your ignorant your bad state or you're a tramp you're racist.

You're not a good father, Ren�e Brown. I was a research professor at the University of Houston was written and spoken a lot about shame and whose Ted talk on shame. By the way is one of the most top-five most-watched Ted talks of all time. She said that the dilemma the dilemma is that shame-based motivation often works, at least in the short run. She cites a study done at a college campus in which participants in the survey about campus life were given a chance for the end of the survey to cheat the researchers out of some money. But on some of the surveys. They had a question on there that asked how common is cheating on this campus was another version of the survey same survey that the only difference was they change the question to.

How common are cheaters on this campus. So in other words, one describe the action CD one talk about the person of the cheat are what they found was that when you frame the question in terms of cheaters as an identity you had a much lower rate of stealing from the researchers than those who simply had to identify cheating is a problem. In other words, those people who thought of cheating in terms of something they did were much more likely to do it than those who I do identify achiever as something that they were so it works many times in the short run.

But even though it might work in the short run, we can have devastating effects of a long run pastor Craig Rochelle points out that living with shame leads to visas for small hopeless perfectionism we attempt a covert commerce shame to flawless performance.

We find it difficult to ever admit failure because that would just confirm the judgment that are shame and other people have declared over us. If we perform at the highest standards. We think were going to be able to say one day there I did. I proved it.

I exceeded everybody's expectations.

I conquered and therefore I have worth.

After all, is in the second thing you'll see happening as you develop really harsh criticism. Both of yourself and of others.

People suffering from shame really hard in cells because deep down they nurse a dislike of who they are, which makes them hard and everybody else to. So when they see their own faults mirrored in other people, they become really judgment was a type of self-loathing you might see people like this is arrogant, or self-righteous, but in reality they are dealing with deep personal dislike that comes from secret shame. You might've heard this phrase that hurt people hurt people and that is what is happening in their lives. They are critical of others because of the dislike they have of themselves. I lastly says shame produces helpless feelings of despair. People with an overwhelming sense of shame tend to focus on the worst possible outcomes.

They say that things to themselves like I know I know this bad thing is going to happen that persons never get a like me were never going to have a good relationship. It's just going to fall apart to never get the promotion I'm never going to amount to anything you assume the worst is going to happen because deep down you believe you are the worst, and you deserve the worst today I will walk us through the storm. A woman who was overwhelmed by shame and I want to show you how Jesus lifted her out of it. It is the answer for all of us that are consumed by shame, whether that shame in our lives is brought on by sin. Imagine something that we've done or whether it is come upon us by suffering that is something that has been done to us, know me know this will be a very heavy message for some of you today. I realize that, but I've also been praying that this message will point you toward hope. Okay Luke chapter 8 let's begin in verse 40 and let's take a look at the story now in Jesus returned the crowd welcome him, for they were all waiting for. And there came a man named gyrus who was a ruler of the synagogue. This woman story, Debbie would start with her. It starts with a man named gyrus and he is put forward to offer a very important contrast with her. She gyrus was a very respected man in the city. He held one of the top positions in the city. He was the ruler of the synagogue, which meant he was a spiritual leader, and he was up a government and a civic leader, but following it.

Jesus's feet. He implored Jesus to come to his house. Grown men in Jewish culture would never just fall at somebody's feet. Men like this for long robes. They walked slowly and stately. They work very stayed in their emotion they would never run or appear to be in a hurry and they certainly would not prostrate themselves in another man's feet. Yet this man was desperate because he had an only daughter. One little girl about 12 years of age she was nine, so we implores Jesus the healer to come to his house and he was daughter Jesus consents to go as Jesus went the people pressed around the note was a woman who had a discharge of blood for about 12 years, and though she'd spent all of her living on positions she could not be healed by anybody having a discharge of blood is a very polite way of saying that she had a disease that produced an uncontrollable menstrual flow which meant that not only was she sick, and likely suffering from severe chronic pain. She was also unable to have children and according to Jewish law. She was ceremonially unclean that now she was not allowed in public. Admit that she could not go to public worship. She could not go in the public in general for 12 years. It means that no one has touched this woman for 12 years, lest they become unclean for 12 years. Nobody's hugger nobody's laid a hand on her to pray for her. She is outcast.

She is lonely. At one point she had had so many hopes about her future. She wanted to get married and she wanted to have children and she wanted to engage in the community but all those things seem like they are over now Luke, who is the author of this story that the author the book of Luke was a doctor by trade and Luke tells us that, according to the medical opinions of the day she's incurable. What's more, he tells us, and she spent her family's entire fortune trying to get cured going to find nothing else.

She is hopeless you one last observation about this woman when it comes from a detail that Luke intentionally leaves out. She's nameless G's name was in contrast to gyrus whose name everybody knows Lou please this woman's name out because nobody knows who she is. Anyway, that's intentional, but God she is hidden he is invisible to people nobody knows about her shame or pay that's as much her choice. By the way, as it is anybody else's. Because shame does, that the people it makes them want to hide, lest they simply get exposed and humiliated even more.

She has a disfigured face, so to speak that keeps her out of public behind closed doors. She doesn't want to even be seen or known. You see the contrast that's been set up a gyrus gyrus is the ruler of the synagogue.

She's not even allowed in the synagogue. He was respected.

She rejected his is a household name hers is a name.

Nobody knows the both of them need Jesus.

Just the same. He's got a daughter the apple of his eye. The joy of his life who is 12 years old and deathly sick. She has been an outcast dad to community dead to her dreams for more than 12 years because of her sickness and by the way, in the story you see illustrated. I think what keeps different kinds of people from Jesus in both kinds are here this morning. You see, what keeps people like gyrus from coming to Jesus is usually pride, feeling like they don't need Jesus's help and a lot of times it takes a severe tragedy like this one to get their attention.

The death of a loved one, some kind of failure some kind of relational tragedy and job loss, a health scare through these things, God is gently waking you up saying you really don't have it all. You really don't.

You're not a secure as you think you are and I wonder this weekend. Maybe that's happening to some of you right now you're wondering what's going on but you realize I hope you realize that God is shaking you try to wake you up. It's a different amounts as God is putting you flat on your back. So maybe at last. You will of the right direction. That's what keeps people like gyrus from Jesus, but what you people like this woman from coming to Jesus is different right is not pride it's her shame that has led her to a subtle despair. It's not that she does not know that she needs Jesus's help, she just thinks that if he knew the truth about her.

He never want to help her anyway.

By the way, do you remember that I told you that shame can come from things we've done or things done to us by believe this woman in her exchanger. Jesus is supposed to represent both kinds of people watch following her. In one sense she's a victim right. She didn't choose her disease. She's not suffering because of something that she did, but at the same time. When you step back from the story we see that biblically.

She is supposed to represent and uncleanness that we all have seen these Levitical laws about uncleanness that keep this woman separated from society were supposed to have given Israel that were given by God to give Israel a picture of the uncleanness that we've all brought upon ourselves through sin and uncleanness in a corresponding shame that goes back to the Garden of Eden.

So in the immediate sense.

This woman represents somebody to fill shame because of something that is happened to her disease. She did not choose a suffering, but in the bigger picture.

She also represents in her uncleanness. The shame that we all feel because of our sin. The point is whether our shame is legitimate shame that we are brought on ourselves, or whether it is illegitimate shame brought on by things done to us. Jesus is the solution.

What watch for 44 she came up behind him and she touched the fringe of his garment, the gospel of Mark tells us she that she heard about Jesus, and this made her want to try this.

I have to wonder, when I read that like when she hurt.

We do know that there was a legend going around Jerusalem at that time that when the Messiah came that he would have healing in the wings of his clothing and went back to a prophecy of Malachi. Malachi 42 that when the Messiah came, you would rise with healing in his wings and so they were saying it must be that you could just touch the wings of his garment, and you could be healed. Maybe that's what you heard and maybe she thought this is him this is my chance and I can just get up and brush that hem of his garment, I might be healed.

But here's her dilemma. Remember, she's not even supposed to be a public entity will see her in public will score her no projector and then there's the question of what is Jesus the holy men going to say right what is eager to say when he sees her and her uncleanness.

Is there a way she thinks to the sort of steel. This miracle and so clandestinely she makes her way through the crowds and she gets up close to him. She gets down on her hands and knees and pulls her.

What if something over face of people can't see her face and as she passes by. She reaches out her hand and she grabs hold of the hem of his close by the way that word in verse 44 touched literally means, clutched me. She reached out and she pulled it like it was a rope when she did verse 44 immediately or discharge of blood sees it was like she pulled the rope of a bell in healing just rang out of Jesus. Jesus ever 45 stop these awake who was it that just touch me not, here's a question you had asked me to read a story like this one does he really not know. I mean, surely if he's God or even if he just has the power to feel like this.

Surely he can figure something simple out like to touch him. So why if you knew this already wanted. He asked, well here's how I see it probably is pretty simple when my kids were younger, I'd come down and lose all the cookie jar in there.

My four kids and I watch TV but one of them had chocolate all over their face right into the none of them are making eye contact with me and I say who open the cookie jar is not that I don't note it's that I'm to be one of them a chance to identify themselves right with Jesus is saying, identify yourself because I got something even more amazing for you than that healing that you just received what could possibly more, be more amazing than the healing incest when you're about to find out just when this is about to become the most amazing story in the New Testament Peter steps in with his requisite dullness. Verse 45 master. The crowds are surrounding you and everybody's president on you beer is got this ability to respond in profound moments with profound stupidity. Jesus can I write such a new man to me on what you talking about way somebody taught you this is a grout you can almost hear Jesus say in response like thank you Peter, what would I do with all without all of your amazing insights into what is happening. Suddenly, this is the man that is given choose to leave his church one day you get the impression that Jesus is going to determine to build his church, not because of the acumen of his leaders, but in spite of it, which is not really encouraging for me was also been appointed to be a leader of the church that that's what Jesus thought about me venting my verse 46 Jesus and an Peter somebody touched me because I perceive that power has gone out for me.

Lots of people were touching Jesus that day to this was a touch of faith. And that's a whole different thing you'll and by the way, I realize that every single week and we have a lot of people coming to this place may touch Jesus you touch a little bit more, shall be touch a little bit during the preaching from within. There's a handful of you here that reach out to clutch a hold of him. In desperation of faith and that's a whole different thing. Verse 47, when the woman saw that she was not hidden and could not be hidden, she came trembling and falling down before him declared in the presence of all the people why she had touched him and she started to tell her story and she started to expose her shame and how she had been immediately healed. Get a picture this woman now trembling and terrified.

She just wanted to steal her miracle and get home. The last thing she had wanted was to be exposed in public again and now now in front of this famous Rabbi the question she's asking is I might just go to be humiliated and rejected again in front of everybody know what happens next might be the most profound moment in all the Gospels because I believe it answers the most basic question of all religion. What is it like to be exposed in all of your Shane and all of your ugliness and all of your uncleanness and all of your mass before a holy God.

Verse 48 and he said to her daughter, not stranger, not man, not even sister, a friend, but he used the term of the most intimate endearment daughter, Tim Keller says you should probably read something like sweetheart. By the way, it is the only place in the Gospels were Jesus ever addresses somebody this way is the kind of word that you would never use of somebody that you just met Jesus is meeting this woman for the first time what you think about what is happening. The girl that nobody wanted. Jesus refers to as precious sweetheart. The girl that nobody else would touch is now being embraced by the strongest and most tender arms in the universe. The name that nobody else knows. Jesus knows that he's not even on a just a first name basis with her usually skip that stage and gone to that tender nickname stage. Do not miss the contrast gyrus is a dad who is pleading the cause of his 12-year-old daughter before Jesus and a powerful man pleading the cause of his 12-year-old daughter. But this woman for 12 years and has had no father to plead or cause to Jesus the most powerful man ever pleaded for her and he will not just let her steal a miracle in secret.

Because yes, as much as he wants to heal her and is great is that healing would be.

He also wants her to know the even greater. Think in the healing and that is that she is loved she is accepted and she is caring you.

That's what Jesus does with the unwanted disfigured.

He finds them in their pain calls them the letter makes them sons and daughters you're listening to Senate life. The Bible teaching ministry of JD Greer. If you happen to join us late. You can always listen again online@jdgreer.com when you join our mission and donate at the suggested level of $35 or more today will say thanks by sending you a 10 day devotional and Scripture guide as a companion to our series, also titled smoke from a fire it's okay to express emotions to God.

Faith starts with honesty before God.

This resource is designed to help you pray desperately and honestly sharing your deepest feelings with the one who made you really hit home with all of us in one way or another.

As we look at emotions like anger, depression, anxiety, envy, and shame the wise thing to do with these emotions is not to try and dismiss them away or suppress them to medicate them, or even to manage them. The Bible tells us first to read them as indicators of what is going on deeper with and then respond with the gospel message in mind. Ask for your copy of the devotional and Scripture guide when you get today by calling 866-335-5220 866-335-5220 where it might be easier to get and request the resources on our website that address again is JD Greer.com. If it's easier to mail your donation in our address is JD Greer ministries PO Box 12293, Durham, NC 277 nine. By the way if you check out Pastor Janie's newest podcast called me anything you want to do that today gives quick answers to tricky question. You can find it online.

JD Greer.com your favorite Molly benefits. Thank you so much for being with some emotional moment where I'm inviting you to join us again next week for the message for my teaching theories smoke from the fire enjoy worship with your church family and join us Monday here. Janie your ministry