The Six Radical Resolutions for Biblically-wise Dating, Part 2

Jeannie Green are not really ready to date you're ready not to date because you're not ready to date until you're at a place for you. Like I got to be and I know it is called me to do in about point you're ready today because now you're ready for a lifelong companion, a partner in doing the will of God, light after author Molly benefits, you know, dating is not easy. Whether you're 16 or 56. Trust me.

I remember when you choose to apply God's biblical standard to dating you're going to stand out because the world has not figured out how to be successful in relationships without God's wisdom today. Pastor JD shares how adapting six biblical resolutions for dating may make you look a little different but will also lead to the kind of marriage. The four and Jesus wants for you if you missed the first part of this message yesterday, you can listen free of charge by visiting JD clear.com now here's Pastor Janie dating is a time where you're supposed to evaluate that you want to join yourself to for life so the purpose of dating is to choose somebody to marry and about his character matters most of all them physical intimacy is something that for the most part, you should keep to a minimum. Why was because physical intimacy works like a drug.

It intoxicate you and masks the other things are actually going on when the physical excitement of sex fades, which it will all that you will be left with is a sick relationship. Listen, let me be clear okay because what I'm trying to do is make an argument to you as to why this is in your best interest. Let me also make very clear to you. The Bible is very clear that awakening sexual lust awakening sexual stimulation outside of marriage is sin.

Jesus said in Matthew five, for example, the sermon on the Mount is there for us to look at or think lustfully about somebody who is not our spouse is committing fornication with them in our hearts in God's eyes.

So obviously doing things and get your motor running. Even if you're not going all the way is going to call you think lustfully about that person is with become sent so we are to avoid this kind of thing because it sin but what I'm saying is even beyond that, even beyond that you all knowing what I know now about marriage, even if I were Christian and the law of God, was not a factor I would counsel a couple who were dating. To keep physical intimacy to a minimum because sexual stimulation sabotages the spouse search every privately for me.

My dad did me a bicycle 16 years old and he's it was a good guidance doesn't come directly from the Bible, which is the wise father counseling the sun the day before losses of the above others for laws is as you stay mostly out of trouble, Comed is present whimsical winds lost to the archive gives the before ministry.

In the mornings is nothing in the dark. Just leave the lights on. Nothing of the large number two. Nothing below the chin.

No reason for you to touch anything below the chin, except for maybe the ramp is three never, ever, ever lie down Matt Chandler here. Nothing good and godly ever happens between dating couples when they line the couch together late at night watch a movie. It has never in the history of humankind led to discussions about cinematography are that symbolic residents of the directors body of work you know exactly where it leads others no way that you can be in that kind of and not have this things awake before my dad said nothing to less over than five seconds. Once across five seconds. It almost for sure has become sent you messages guidelines.

Your goal here is not to obey rigidly losses the security not to see how close to the line you can get and you can abuse any of these writing you get pretty creative and five seconds MRI yesterday one of our pastors Eric Valley makes a really helpful distinction. I think he distinguishes between acts of affection and acts of desire active affections that show somebody that are special to you.

Acts of desire that are awakening.

These desires are supposed to lead somewhere else. He also said by all means do not live together me first. Again, if you're living together you are in blatant sin, and I cannot say for sure that that means you're not a Christian, but I can say you're living in unrepentant sin and there is no possible way that you got the blessing of God on this part of your life which we have seen is the one thing you most need in this part of your life. But second I would say even beyond what what God says study shows statistically the somebody would live with 2 to 3 people before they get married has less than a 5% chance of staying married living together. I've heard it said is better preparation for divorce and it is for marriage because marriage truelove says, for better or for worse, living together, says the better. I am to get worse and I'm gone. The purpose of dating is not to give you marriage life is not to give you an intimacy appetizer.

The tide you over until the meal of marriage it is to give you space to get clarity about the character not by the way.

Sometimes I will get asked how does this apply to high school kids yesterday they be able to date while distilling you again just because of father we we don't have a rule against that in our house, but since they are not able to get married that's eroded that make a whole lot of sense to go too far down when you're not the time when it's time to look for a spouse. We say that three ideals that you would pursue at this stage, I and in any kind of dating is not exclusive nonphysical non-escalating their 03 ideals, not exclusive nonphysical nonescalating because we know dating is a road to give you clarity about the person that you married. It is for clarity, not intimacy but a way to those you were single. I know, under just sit or listen to this. I know that living like this difficult it would be countercultural, but I will say it again if you want something nobody else has yet to be want to do and nobody else will do few people will do you understand the dating is a time of testing is for God to see whether or not you're willing to wait on him to Do Things His Way, God gives his best to those who leave the choice to him.

When this is an area.

This powerful area where you say God I trust you and I will wait on you. God will would use that portal of obedience to release all kinds of blessing and the best parts of your life. Even this stage of dating to be characterized by selfless sacrificial love, not lust for them. But love for your future spouse love for their future spouse used in physical intimacy creates bonds really difficult to undo it is me that I do love for your future spouse and their future spouse don't steal for yourself, something that ought to be special for them. Don't prioritize the satisfaction of your lust over their long-term good number three is your the resolution I will reject the marriage equals completion, myth. This myth says that there is one right person out there for you. You don't find that person, I've been your never to be happy and if you're not happy one from his you just haven't found that person. Here's how it plays out in dating and marriage in the dating stage you're on the prowl right. You gotta find that right person yet about Mr. right yet about Mrs. Wright. You're always worried about what if I don't make them. What if I miss my chance one of them. Not the right person. What about duplicate what are they like somebody else, I will finally, at last, you find that one you like and found them about her and make her heart flutter. They deliver quiver.

Everyone is saying you think this is it this is it.

Our relationship is special. They just make you feel like nobody else never made me feel when you look at me is like a militant side and I just on him which we never ever ever fight and were just awesome to each other all the time. This is the perfect person for me and were going to get.

Maybe they get married and figure out that they're not as perfect as you thought right. He is totally insensitive to your needs and he just smells bad at night and that cute little bird that used to doing our dating is just plain annoying.

Now go twice and run out bourbon all.and I'd sort of drive you crazy and she is selfish and she asked crazy sometimes and all those little habits that you thought were cute start to drive you bananas in the dating stage and thought they were quirky and now you like. I think something is seriously wrong with you right and then their selfishness and their bad temper or their thoughtlessness start to hurt you, and look them but intoxicate you anymore.

They make sure to get intoxicated but you'll get intoxication from them and so you come to a crisis point your marriage you think all know things are just unraveling and you think I know, I know how we can fix this. Let's have a baby. Oh, brilliant, brilliant, yes, let's bring another life into this dysfunctional relationship then after you have the baby right you start thinking to hold the baby late at night you think you made a promise actually married the wrong person. I was young and I was naïve and I didn't really know what I want. I and then when you're sleep deprived and you're tired one day one of these at work and guess who you meet over the right person the right person and you're like I get it now I get it I was young I didn't understand and I thought there the right person for their action. Now the right person. This is actually the right person and so you decide to correct the problem by getting out of that marriage to the wrong person and then getting remarried to the right person that work either.

Only tell you why you always married the wrong person. You understand that you always look at your spouse or you right now be like you're wrong person for me. You always married the wrong person for at least two reasons.

First, okay were not primarily lonely people who need soulmates were primarily sinners who need a Savior LOL Gary Thomas I Gary, setting the mirrors and solve emptiness.

Marriage exposes emptiness also money can't live without you here.

She will never be happy living with you either lonely, insecure, single people become lonely and secure. Married people problems like loneliness and insecurity are not cured by the love of another person. Loneliness in the security come from not being connected rightly to God. We got a guy is most dating guys drowning in a sea of loneliness and despair long by 4 to 5 foot two brunette life preserver.

What you do when you're drowning in life preserver comes in your you and your field of vision.

You you cling to what you grasp it, and he starts to suck the life out of her. Why, because he's looking to her for things she was never designed to give him Tim Keller says it this way. In his book meaning of marriage.

Most people today approach marriage of the attitude I want somebody to fill every vacancy in me awaken all the dormant gifts inside of me continuously and naturally and otherworldly emotional bliss and that puts tremendous unfair pressure on them that dooms the relationship as a first reason, always my long person a second reason I say you always were the wrong person is there a center so were you and that means they will inevitably let you down, back, marriage is purpose when its purpose is to try to teach you how to love somebody with loss like God loves you as was to teach about the love of God. That's like me who would give away Tim Keller says that the best you can hope for marriage is less of a bad match for you the best you can hope for less of a bad match because everybody is getting in the disappointing you clear the idea.

What if you gave up the method.

There's a perfect person and what if you understood that that's not what marriage was about anyway what you so that God's main purpose in life, not just marriage, but in light was preparing you for himself and marriage was a way not the only way that a way that he could do that. It is a way that he can supply some of those needs, but is not the only way that he can do those things that were the case will not approach Angel your approach singleness, rather than being on a rabid obsessive search for the right person who is the key to a happy life. You could put your eyes on Jesus and focus on following him, trusting in him to be your sufficiency to be your needs and then trusting in him to supply your needs in the way and the timing of his choosing. You could finally begin to live out Matthew 633 which says seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and then all these things be added to you. You make me first you seek ye first become who I want you to be right and then you won't turn marriage or dating into an idol until it finally be able to love out of fullness and out of it out of emptiness. Which leads me to number four for resolution as I will seek God first in my significant other second, I will see God first and I will seek my significant other second when you reject the marriage equals completion, myth, you can put your eyes on Jesus and trust him to supply your needs are the best marriages like to people.

I want gravity running racing on one just truck along fast piercing get their new look and also look over this matter run the same direction about the same speed you like a good.

I wish run together, we should ask what begins as dating relationship and marriage are not meandering around in the neighborhood just on the prowl, look for somebody you get going after what God told you to be who we told you, and then God supplies you the right life partner to go along with you some of our single people like to millions you to take on the characteristics of everybody around them. Don't do that.

Be your own person before in Christ be sure of your identity and how he's made you and what is called you to write your statement. I love you're not really ready to date until you're ready not to date because you're not ready to date until you're at a place for you. Like I God maybe to be and I know it is called me to do and at that point, you're ready today because now you're ready for a lifelong companion, a partner in doing the will of God. Don't look for another human being. What you should be funding the Jesus I will of his counsel from the book of Proverbs that my dad gave me when I was in late high school, Robert.

24. 27. Put your outdoor working order and get your field ready. After that build your house. Outdoor work means your job, your house is a metaphor for your marriage translation guys did a job didn't jot. I promise you will become a much more attractive spouse.

I was going to say that right now. The point is, men or women. This will were God told you to go it on a formula to do this and out of this is to say, hey, Priscilla, God told you to be independent of marriage and then if he's got a marriage partner you will bring them on. You love them out of a sense of direction, fullness and not waste a decade of your life. Just puttering around my room God told you to do right so so so that's a really practical way for you to apply. Matthew 633 there's no one number five resolution, I will date only in the Lord. Marriage is about friendship. Marriage is my lifelong companionship finds my walk alongside of you, then why would you unite yourself somebody who doesn't share the most important part of who you are not leaving again to say that some try to make an argument for what's best for you, but the Scripture is very clear on this prescription seven balls talk into a single lady in the Corinthian church, and he tells her he's like eight. She's free to be married to whoever she wishes she gets to choose only in the Lord you wanted on the Lord the city limits. 614 Paul says do not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever partnership partnership with righteousness have with lawlessness unequally yoked means joined together and it would certainly mean the dating of the marriage relationship friends I want you to see what Scripture is saying here not less like a restrictive rule, more like a loving timeline because to be unequally yoked when unbeliever means that you're never going to be able to share the deepest most important parts of who you are with them yoked was a harness that was put on to animals that they were supposed to then be able to pull better together. One of them could alone and that works as long as the two animals on the same direction, but if they start point. The opposite of each other. It's even worse than they were by themselves if that person doesn't share your faith in Christ in your faith in Christ is important to you at all point different directions when it comes to your time. What you do with your money. What you plan to do in your retirement or raising children.

If you were dating and unbeliever. Have you thought about your future children because the single biggest impact on their spiritual lives is going to be your spouse and you are intentionally making the biggest influence on them. Somebody who doesn't even share your faith, honestly, are you really that selfish but you better prioritize your desires and the moment over the souls of your future kids. Please understand, I feel compelled to say this, if you're here this morning and you're not a Christian. I'm not trying to be mean to you. In fact, if you are not a Christian, I will tell you, for your sake, you shouldn't date a Christian unless you plan to become one because the Christian you're dating right now, really, really wants to convert you to prove that you're here right when your idea to come this morning.

It was their idea and all time to become a humans is that I see it, look it over to Verizon you like, you know, is he connecting is finally getting through his city, Connecticut to make him see her. She's her see what's going on. The point is they don't really accept you as you are a say this, but their mom and dad don't really like you. I mean, they may like he was a person, but in a way like you and they want to become a Christian all families praying for you right they all know that you're here they can pray all weekend about you, and nobody in the family is ever going to be really happy until you become a Christian began to be honest of the men you ever been honest with you.

Just for your sake. If you don't date a Christian unless you become one of your believer resolved to date only in the Lord.

Believers need to understand, listen to this diminishing our enemy works mailing the famous donkey talk and bail bail and was hired who curse Israel and government do it so bail him scumbag that he was told became too hard and recursive choice of this action. On the way to do this, that evolving person. I'm just get all the pretty Moabite women to go in and infiltrate the camp and Mary all the Israelite men in the Moabite women didn't worship same God said to destroy the faith in a generation.

That's exactly what happened.

What it shows you that when Satan can take you down when he does, he joined you to somebody that that that kills your influence on the next generation and Christianity in your family ties with you because the enemy found another way, he doesn't change what he did with bail he does with us. So yes, by all means is a loving guideline you Mary in the Lord.

Don't deceive yourself. By the way of saying no when I get serious this is just by having fun having a buddy used in dating is a road that leads to a destination and every mile you travel with that person to get harder to take the exit ramp if you want to get to the destination and stay off the road.

Number six, number six. I will I will not date in isolation. When I date in isolation back in Bible days marriages were arranged your community chose your spouse for you and let me be clear, I am glad that we are not there anymore. Okay there were a lot of drums that are fair to say that our culture we gone to the opposite extreme and what is arguably the most important decision of your life.

You isolate yourself and you tell yourself the Hallmark Channel myth, which is my heart knows what's best for me. Mom would tell you right now. Your heart does not know what's best for you and other people in your community can see what's happening even when you can all hopped up on pheromones as you are.

You need godly and wise counsel more at this stage the may be any other singles that there were no other practical reason for you to be deeply involved in the life of the church. This would be a sometimes those other people can see the obvious problem with this person or with your relation to the Jews can't see like it. They have less problems or flirtation problems or the failure to keep their word or their manipulative they have controlling behavior. They can see that when you can't because you're hopped up on pheromones in your view, is this going to be totally distorted.

Matt Chandler again. 1 Sure Way to walk in foolishness in a romantic relationship to date somebody who troubles the godly counselors in your life. Stay connected to people in the church asked older believers to speak into your relationships is your six resolution.

I know what you're saying. I can hear you. I read your thoughts.

Sincerely, looking at another when it comes to the subject.

Some of you listen to this and you like. I have blown it. I've messed up. I have been damaged. I have caused damage.

Maybe it's sexual sin as you understand the greatest truth in Christianity is that we worship the Savior brings life back from the dead and his blood can make anything clean. There is a fountain filled with blood drawn from Emmanuel's veins and sinners plunge beneath that flight lose all their guilty stay in Paul. He was talking about sexual sin, and sexual mistakes.

He told me was that you were bought with a price we got to you and sold yourself down the road. You should've gone down Jesus shed his blood to bring you back and in him you are washed right you are cleansed, you are justified means you're forgiven your sanctified means are set apart and made special in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God. It means that you can be special not because you live the perfect past.

You can be special because of Jesus's power in his work with in you to dinner.

Purity in any of us except the blood of Jesus.

And that is a forgiveness and it's a power that is available to all of us. So if you have just messed up royally. Now you know things you didn't know before.

Right.

You're operating with with with knowledge you didn't have served to date, starting today. Make the six resolutions okay and trust the power and the cleansing power. Jesus, to make all things new and lead you to the marriage that has no matter where you come in time. You are forgiving you can begin again thank you for listening to Senate life with pastor Jeannie Greer any of this message you can listen to all six of the radical resolutions for biblically wise dating again free of charge@jeanniegreer.com pastor Jeannie we're always looking for new ways to help others integrate the truth of the Bible into their everyday lives right. This is the last week to get our latest resource yet one of her goals here at some alive… Might think of it is our our primary goal is to take people deeper in the Scriptures of the deeper in the gospel and so one of things we've done for that is provided. These 50 memory verse cards. They serve as a tool to help you get Scripture in front of you. Make it easy to memorize these verses. Memorizing Scripture gives you a great opportunity to share that verse with other believers to Maisie Molly, how many times I find myself praying the words of scriptures that I just memorized for the people. So we would love to get some of these to you, and this is a way of allowing you to be connected to our ministry. You can find out more about these and to start the conversation at JD Greer don't wait, live to new set of cards today.

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Get online Jeannie Greer.com and Molly Winternitz tomorrow and pastor Jeannie explained that address is one of our basic only noon life as well as give us a taste thing that in our series, forever family will see you tomorrow and my Jeannie Greer ministry