Just Sex?

Marriage and sex were designed by God to address one of the deepest needs of the human soul.

The need for companionship or intimacy. To be fully seen in fully known, fully love and in that intimacy that we experience with somebody else in a really mysterious way would point us beyond that horizontal relationship to our vertical relationship with God. Sex is not just the physical act of soul. The Bible I'm your host Molly benefits you know I think it's safe to say that our culture deeply held in deeply flawed ideas about facts but to fully understand and respect the sanctity of sex to go to God who created it into his word, which is very clear about how we should view it. Now this may not be the best day to introduce your young kids to our program so you have elementary age children listening with you. We encourage you to find this message later on your own@jeanniegreer.com or you can listen free of charge and today's message from the series called forever family.

Pastor JD explained how sex addresses one of our basic sold me to be fully known and fully left also gives us a taste of God using live. Let's join Pastor JD right now.

Matthew chapter 19 the big idea in this series forever family is that what Jesus teaches about marriage in Matthew 19. Not only revolutionizes marriage but also everything connected to marriage and so we looked at singleness. For example dating today. Today were going to apply Jesus's understanding of marriage to one of the most complicated and a potentially awkward parts of our lives and that is sex now. It should go without saying that this might not be the very best we can for you to introduce your second-grader to big church I've got 13 and up.

LOL say I think her to be safe and back. You might give up asking your 13 and 14-year-old twins makes to you later based on some of the work. I use but I think that'll be good. Okay chapter 19 verse three, Matthew 19 through the Pharisees came up to him and of course being Jesus and they tested Jesus by asking was lawful to divorce one's wife for any cause. Jesus answered and you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and he said therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh cc Jesus says that no longer sue anymore and marriage. There 1/what therefore God has joined together, joined together, let not man separate. And they said to him woman, why did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and the sender away, but Jesus corrected them say no because of your hardness of heart, Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not God's intention, I say to you, whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality, and marries another without person commits adultery.

Will the disciples replied to him, if that's really the case about the bill of marriage might be better for somebody never get married.

But Jesus said to them, yeah, not everybody can receive this saying only those to whom it is given for there are eunuchs who have been so from birth and there are eunuchs who told you represent in this and what Jesus and represent single people hundred been made eunuchs by men and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.

But the one was able received this also receive it.

Jesus here teaches that marriage and sex were created to address one of man's primary soul meets Meadows the need for companionship is not just something created for for the reproduction of the species it was.

Not good for man to be alone, so God created marriage and sex to go along with that and in this experience of marriage and sex. Adam and Eve, the man and the woman will also going to get a taste of the love of God for them and learn a little bit more about how God loves people that all by itself that one simple seedling of the teaching in their challenges. Three of our culture is most deeply held myths about sex ones that people in our culture widely believed, at least I should say they are trying to believe them.

Even though I'm in the trash. I don't really think they're true. Here's the first one. The first myth in our culture that this challenges is that sex is just physical just physical. It's a biological word like any other words people say thing like food. You hungry you eat right, like a sport. Find a partner to play with for a while.

Later on you can switch up partners in a big deal like tennis is like touch football like tackle football where you stand around for little while longer and some I like what I did know him or her that well with a sense of fun for a while.

It's no big deal. The strings attached. We were young we were kind of experimenting when you were just trying to figure things out it was just no big deal, but Katy Perry said in one of her songs. I don't even know your name in a matter your my experimental game is just human nature filled with older Woody Allen made that Sizemore's been out of sex without love is an empty experience, but is that the experiences go, it's one of the best people think like what's the big deal then if we did have a little fun. So what I want to tell you and I think Yorty know is that most everybody even though the will we get each other go along with the myth.

Most everybody deep down those that's not true. Just ask yourself why is it why is it that so many people's greatest regrets in life are sexual.

Why is it when somebody comes in office and says pastor, I need to tell somebody something I need to tell you this, and I've never told anybody else but I know exactly what's about to come right now is about. I got cheated on my taxes or I haven't been able to keep up with my my diet but naughtier says that there always good to go for something being sexual if sex is just physical.

Why is it that when a child is sexually abused whenever an adult may finally connect the dots.

It's still so difficult to shake off. It is not just an authority figure.

Let me down or betrayed me know. We it's much deeper than that. If sex is just physical. Why is adultery so hard to get over it is just physical. Why is that such a devastating thing that happens in a relationship. If sex is just physical. Why is it that men with the deepest sexual issues usually had uninvolved or missing fathers. If sex is just physical. Why is rape so much more psychologically damaging to a woman then than other forms of physical violence but national domestic violence Center says that women are much more prone to report physical abuse MAR rate and that's because there's a shame in a trauma attached array that makes it difficult even to talk about this one is a lot of women. They say they just don't report it if sex is just physical none others things that I just asked you would be true. She we know we know sex is not just physical and that's exactly what Jesus is pointing to. In Matthew 19 marriage and sex were designed by God to address one of the deepest needs of the human soul. The need for companionship or intimacy.

To be fully seen and fully known and fully loved and in that intimacy that we experience with somebody else in a really mysterious way would point us beyond that horizontal relationship to our vertical relationship with God, who sees us fully and knows us fully and loves and accepts us anyway right sex is more than biological necessity is spiritual mystery sex which is supposed to be the ultimate expression of the marriage relationship is not just the physical act if the soul act first Caribbean six calls to take this deep soul dimension of sex and expand on to get your Bible are going to watch it I can put your finger. Matthew 19 to put something in there don't you go to first Caribbean six is one of us spend a good amount of time there because Paul really unpacks this idea of what this kind of mysterious spiritual nature is of sex and why it is so significant to say this is a remarkable passage of Scripture. Paul wrote nearly 2000 years ago would like you talking the people at UNC Chapel Hill, Duke University, Lindsay stayed and worked on a central today just for context, Corinth, where the church that Paul was writing this letter to was located was a highly sexualized society. There were nearly a thousand prostitutes in Corinth in a city that is about 1/20 the size of Raleigh population wise talking to a lot of prostitutes. The most famous Temple was to the goddess Aphrodite who was the sex goddess and you worship, or by having sex with one of her prostitutes. Sexual promiscuity was so common in Corinth that in Greek the word Corinth became a verb to Corinthian eyes meant to become sexually deviant and so in verse 13, Paul quotes a little one-liner that they used from Katy Perry of their day. Verse 13 is quote one of their lives their life, not his food is not the stomach and the stomach for food. It was their line.

A line from a song I guess and what it meant. Is this sex is just like any other physical desire, you hungry eat you tired you sleep yes or charges you fulfillment this is like any other urgent. Paul said no.

Still, verse 13, the body is not meant for sexual immorality.

The body has a soul in the body and soul met the Lord and the Lord for the body. It's more than just biological necessity. By the way just so were clear definitions.

When I say sexual morality when impulsive sexual immorality. What is referring to is any sex outside a relationship between a man and a woman committed to each other for life and a covenant of marriage and pulses, our bodies are so much more than biological machines. What Jesus pointed out in Matthew 19. Our bodies are our vehicles for our souls.

Souls that were created in the image of God.

Soul created to know God and to know others the way that God knows them the stomach. Paul says you write the stomach was created as an instrument the process food you don't have a spiritual relationship with your food and some of you can get a really emotional man you get emotional about a ribeye steak that's not what he's talking about you on the spiritual relationship with your food, but sex is not like the stomach. God designed sex to be a part of a fusion of total persons is a physical biological oneness that was to be accompanied by soul oneness and a oneness in every other area of our lives, your futures become one your bank accounts become one your children your offspring become one your families become one. Everything about you becomes one separating physical oneness from oneness in everything else.

Here's a part. Paul is saying the human being at a fundamental level, what makes zombie creepy is that a zombie is a body without a soul sex apart from marriage. Paul is saying is sub human. It separates the body from all the other dimensions of the soul and pulses, that is going to have a devastating effect on the soul because that is not what it was created to do.

Our culture believes that Christians have too low a view of sex not appreciating the beauty and the joy that I can add to life. Paul would say, on the contrary, Christians have a really high view of sex.

Recognizing that God made it as something to be experienced the whole person submit number one is a sex is just physical to lead you to a related myth. Myth number two in our culture. Sex can be casual sex to be casual if sex is just physical limit can be casual.

This is not that serious so the editor of box magazine box.com she said recently. She said the question used to be. How many times you would go out on a date before having sex is another question is how many times you have sex before you feel the need to go out on a date right, it's just it just casual balls response for 16 no, do you not know that he was joined to a prostitute. Nothing say why he chose that joiner prosody becomes one body with her for as it is written, the two in this moment will become one flesh.

When you have sex you saying you become one body with the person you're having sex with and it is impossible to have sex and this not happen on some level. Notice that Paul's illustration for sexual immorality here is illustration is prostitution, which would have to be the cheapest, most noncommittal kind of sex imaginable right and it's a stranger you didn't know the person going and you don't really know the person going out, you probably never see them again. It involves no commitment right it's it's it's very noncommittal, get pulses, even in that 30 minute encounter. There is there that that there's a type of joining there's a there's a oneness that is happening which then we Paul say verse 18 flee sexual immorality. Every other sin. A person commits you see is a sin to commit outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body unison we say in their other sins that you commit against people primarily hurt them and 88, will you I'll open room and you're sitting there and I punch you in the patient that your wallet have sinned against you twice your face hurts and you get less money. It hurt you, but not me, not so much as got richer.

Okay, we say that sexual immorality when you commit that you're out you're hurting yourself.

You taken a razor to your own soul. Years ago I read a book called Holt it's written by couple of neurologist a bunch couple. Medical doctors are not pastors because no theological agenda that I can detect in that I don't write as Christians, but they were trying to show the effects of having multiple sexual partners, especially when you're young on your brain casual sex. They say actually rewires your brain in a way that makes genuine, lasting, selfless relationships much more difficult to achieve. Later, here's what they say and I quote the individual who goes from sex partner sex partner is causing his or her brain to mold in such a way that eventually the brain accepts that sexual pattern is normal. The pattern of changing sex partners therefore seems that damage their ability to bind in a committed relationship, the kind of attachment damage that occurs after repeated sexual encounters is in many respects, more pernicious than pregnancy or STDs because it typically goes on, perceived by affected individuals, while causing ongoing difficulties in establishing a lifelong and a satisfying relationship. In other words, there's a lot of dangers or say is a lot of dangers in sex outside of marriage. But this is the biggest these neurologist resurrection is a something happens to your soul is giving you an inability to experience the kind of oneness, the kind of bond that it was intended to be a part of the authors use the metaphor of duct tape which you probably heard before the duct tape yet you take a piece of duct tape and wrap around a man's arm and you pull it off. Okay you can get paid for not get a piece of duct tape awful when it comes off. It could take part of the man with it right to pull her hair off his arm and tingle trunks can even think things of duct tape and you wrap around somebody else's arm and do it all the same things could happen, but it's a little less sticky that time little units cannot lose some of its cohesive power you that enough times and eventually that duct tape was lost all its stickiness on the altar set up what, happening here is the brain's reward been rewired so that it's it's actually becoming unable to be able to cohere. They say the altar so you could know more try out sex and you can try out birth. The very act of sex produces in your soul in your brain. A new reality that simply cannot be undone. In other words, safe sex is a joke because you can't put a condom over your soul and I think the most important part of this whole process, STDs, pregnancy abortions. These are all good reasons to avoid sex outside of marriage for the not the primary reason God tells us to avoid sex outside of marriage.

It has to do with the makeup of our souls.

Like Paul says even the cheapest form sex do something to the soul, engage the soul. You know the person is even do a prostitute you become one flesh with her to sin against your soul and Keller describes it this way.

In his book the meaning of marriage which runaway you read this book, I would encourage you to. There's a lot of things I've learned about these and many other topics on it merely says it in me of marriage was. Even if you're not legally married to somebody having sex with them. You may find yourself very quickly feeling marriage like ties feeling like the other person has obligations to you. But of course the other person has no legal, social, or moral responsibility. Even the call you back in the morning. This incongruity leads to jealousy and to hurt feelings and obsessiveness.

If two people having sex but they are not married.

It makes breaking up vastly harder than it should be and that leads many people stay trapped in relationships that are not good because of a feeling of having somehow connected themselves in that like the plot line to every episode of friends you've ever seen is basically what he does describe many people feel like Christians are anti-sex like we just unappreciated enough. But again, on the contrary, we understand the prescriptions that God gives.

He gives because of its power if, like Tim Keller says sex outside of a marriage is not sin because it's bad is because it's so good.

The analogy that always use here is one of fire, fire is an incredibly powerful force is capable because it's so powerful is capable of great good and great harm right so if I ask you the question. Do you want fire in your house.

Your answer should be the pencil reasonably fire in the fireplace is awesome fire in the furnace. Great fire in the stove. Amazing fire in the couch fire in the guestroom fire in the closet. Not so good right knee. Sex is like this fire that in the right context is incredibly powerful good, but out of context. It can be really distraught.

This is probably a good time to talk about pornography pornography is a major major problem in our culture know our city may not have a thousand prostitutes but we have tens of thousands of pornographic websites that are accessible to us, but the few pushes on a keypad on keyboard you know porn traffic on the web every single day in our country is more than the combined traffic of Amazon, Netflix and twitter more everyday than those three combined the porn industry in our country takes in more money every year. The major league baseball, the NBA, the NFL National Hockey League combined over 30% of Internet traffic is porn sex is the number one word search for on the Internet and it is tragically and scarily common, even in the church. Most people in our culture, maybe miniature think it's not that big of a problem. I like what the victimless crime, but first of all, you know, understand, it is a crime against that woman are owned by the way Michael about pornography. A lot of what I must say I will talk about men in this, but I understand and I'm not trying to just be gender specific, but I understand that that this is increasingly become a problem for women also. So don't hear this. When I applied to mental here that is exclusive, but you realize minute every woman you look at a somebody's daughter. We also know now that most of the people that start these porn things got into it because usually some kind of sex slavery type of thing I noticed participating in that but also what Paul would tell us here is it like other forms of sexual immorality. You're sitting against yourself in a pretty damaging way because that encounter is rewiring your brain in a fundamental way. Maybe even more so than Cox, casual sexual encounters with a prostitute, you are killing your capacity for lifelong, satisfying relationships to do that in a number of ways. First, pornography, train your mind to start looking at the opposite sex as a commodity. Again, I want to direct this specifically toward mending this issue.

Understand, increasingly played with men, women, but when you gaze out pornography. You're not just looking at a woman you're looking at an image of a woman whose body you want only to use and not trains your mind to see all women in a certain way and that's how you start to relate to women in general. When you look at pictures of women with no recognition that they have a soul or you don't really understand or appreciate anything about that your mind starts to see the real women in your life as objects also not know you are not on I can totally keep that separate. That's where you're wrong. That's what this book hold to show you it is rewiring your brain.

So Paul is trying to say is rewiring your brain is creating new pathways that create a new person when the author of the book of second Samuel tells the story of David and Bathsheba that adultery bother second single set up a very interesting contrast. Listen to this. Whenever the author of §talk about Bathsheba going to read you always refer to her in some relationship refers to her like as the daughter of somebody or the mother of somebody or the wife of somebody and what he's trying to show is that Bathsheba is a person who loves and his love for reasons apart from her physical attractiveness, but David does not see her that way. David sees her only as a naked body who awakens lust in him that he wants to have for himself and that leads to the worst kinds of sin by David porn rewires your brain to think of sex as just the selfish satisfaction of an urge and when you train your mind that way later when you get married your ability to engage in sex like God designed it is a fusion of souls were two people offer themselves to each other in self giving love that capacity is significantly diminished Bible teaching ministry Esther theologian JD Greer. We are in the middle of our teaching series called forever family.

If you miss any part of the series and would like to catch up. You can listen for free@jdgreer.com in addition to finding Summit life on our website. Pastor Janie has a weekly podcast called ask me anything. Janie, can you tell us a little bit about it. Yet even this really has been if I say this is a great new resource become a podcast I listen to a lot of times are 8 to 10 minutes longer lease is that the amount of time that you said that the distance I'm driving, we thought. What if we try to give people a tool that in those that 10 minute drive. They could make a really become theologically aware of how to talk about some difficult question if I really try to give your prodigal short answers to common questions. I love you to check it out. You have your favorite podcasting app is good asked me anything look for my name and would love that way as well.

I think will be helping you.

I've heard a lot of our listeners will also know your one and the passion on the summit in their life. Just asking that.

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