How am I Supposed to Find a Spouse?

Good morning summer church and welcome at all of our campuses across the Raleigh-Durham area give the Bible this weekend. I would invite you to take it out and opened it to Genesis chapter 24 Genesis 24 we are in week number five in our series called from the beginning I was going to.

My plan was to wrap up this series this weekend with a message on friendship, but I called an audible earlier this week and I'm going to insert a message here this weekend on dating or on finding a spouse before I give her last message on friendship that why you ask. I'm sure you're curious a few reasons. Number one, we have a church full of single people according to our our records. 73% of the adults at the summit church are single and this is what many of them think about from dawn till dusk. And so I felt like it's worthy to address number two.

Most people in our culture do not have a clue how to approach the subject in a healthy way. I mean not a clue dating in our culture. I think you would agree. It's just goofy, it's really more like used car sales than anything else used car sale you hide everything that will make a cell less likely. Can you advertise whatever will close the deal. Oh and by the way, make sure you take it for a test drive because you never want to buy a car without having time for a test drive the stats on the hookup culture are truly staggering out one recent study also reveals that 77% of college females admitted to hooking up during college for guys.

The number is 84%.

We even have apps now that can facilitate a boat we not that I don't have that out but I'll be leader, but the answer out there might tell you the names you don't believe, but I'm over it is said that the way that we date today is actually better preparation for divorce. That is for marriage because essentially what you do is you find somebody that captures your attention in the thrill you answer, you give yourself to them but then they began to disappoint you or you know get bored with them, which inevitably happens.

I explained 18 months in your you're going to find annoyance and and disappointment in and so you walk away and you search for new person because they must not have been the right person or whole philosophy of dating is built on what we call the right person myth, the right person myth is that happiness in life is achieved by finding the right person and if you're not happy now. Well, it's because you're with the wrong person and you to get rid of all person find the right person so we end up establishing inundating the relational patterns that lead to divorce and marriage. That's a reason I want to do with it. Thirdly, the local church is supposed to be the community that best facilitates the romantic process from start to finish.

The local church is supposed to be the best community in which relationships form and a flourish and and and and even finish well and so even if you are married there and you have kids already are or if you're single and you have no aspirations or desires to get married. There is a lot that is in this message for you because this area is so broken in our culture because it affects so many people. This is the source of their greatest struggle and unhappiness.

We we summit church need to learn how to be the body of Christ in which these relationships form in flourish and we need to be that kind of community that's why wanted to take a we can do it. Genesis 24 we had a marvelous little story of Isaac and Rebekah will read almost all chapter Villa started verse one Abraham was now very old, the Lord had blessed him, and just about every way, Abraham was the man that God chose to give the promise to promise consisted of a Messiah that would come from one of his descendents. The problem, as you recall, is that Abraham is very old and have any kids to God gave him a miraculous birth, a son named Isaac went out Isaac is of marriageable age and in order for you know Isaac had descendents you have descendents would one day have Jesus is you have to get married, have kids and Isaac is is single and so verse two Abraham says to his senior servant, a guy named Ellie a czar, the one who was in charge of all that Abraham had he said put your hand here under my thigh, which admittedly is a little weird. Verse three. I want you to swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of earth that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I'm living now but I will but you will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife. They are for my son Isaac.

Okay so let's first address the obvious here Abraham basically calls his intern into his office and says listen I got a really big assignment for you. But first put your hand here. Honestly, if anybody on our staff tried this with an intern, HR would definitely have to get involved and lest you think I'm being unnecessarily lewd scholars say the reality was actually a bit more graphic and saying he put his hand under the thigh. The author is using a little bit of euphemism by put your hand under my thigh. He met what exactly were you think he met all Hebrew commentators make this connection but it is hilarious to me how they dance around it.

How one commentator for example said and I quote the thigh is a euphemism for the generative organ upon which the sign of circumcision was also placed right that's what we call a grown up. The generative organ anyway, the point of this exceedingly awkward charade is nothing perverted. I assure you it was to say to Eliezer are in essence the promise that God made to me is about offspring in this mission. I'm sending you one is about offspring and this mission is important and I do not want you to forget that it concerns the offspring and I can assure you that after this little encounter Eliezer art did not forget that second observation I have here a little less awkward. Why does Abraham not want his son Isaac to marry a girl from among the Canaanites. Why Abraham is not being racist many great biblical heroes married into racially including Moses who wrote the story down it was because the Canaanites were all idol worshipers and Abraham wanted his son to marry a girl in the faith, and he knew of people back in his hometown, who shared the worship of God with him and so he wanted Isaac to marry a girl who would help propagate the promise into the generations to come. So this was about marrying somebody in the faith.

Do not let anybody ever tell you that this story or any other in the Bible that discourages interracial dating because that's just not true. Verse five. The servant asked him what if the woman is unwilling to come back with me to this land side and take her son back to the country that you came from and Abraham said make sure that you do not take my son back there. This is about bringing this girl in the land of promise, not about going backwards into the land of comfort and security or disobedience.

First him then the servant left, taking within 10 of his master's camels loaded with all kinds of good things from his master verse 11. He had a camels meal down near the well outside of the town.

It was toward evening the time with the woman. Women went out to draw water. This was, I guess like a hair salon days really caught up in the days news gossip. Whatever verse 12.

Many pray Lord God of my master Abraham make me successful today and show kindness to my master Abraham, may be that when I say to a young woman. Please let your jar down that I may have a drink that she says drink how water your camels to let that be the one let her be the one that you have chosen for your servant Isaac to marry verse 15 before he had even finished praying. Rebecca came out with her jar in her shoulder.

She was the daughter of the fool, son of Mielke who was the wife of Abraham's brother Naval war and the woman was very beautiful. Now you and I would probably read that she's beautiful but she's your cousin.

They read that as she's beautiful and she's your cousin to all I can tell you is in those days. This is not that uncommon in my home church in West Virginia. This required no explanation at all. Verse 17 the servant hurried to meet her and said please give me a little water from your jar drink, my Lord, she said, and quickly lower the charter and to give them a drink. Verse 19 after she'd given him a drink.

She said you know what, I'll draw water for your camels to until they've had enough to drink. Now, in case you don't know this camels drink a lot and Eliezer has 10 of them and they all just finished trucking across the desert several hundred miles, which means that they are thirsty and were not talking about her going back to the well to get one or two more jars of water were talking about her going back and forth with this well dozens of times since is exceptionally generous around here. We would say she's all in verse 21 without saying a word, the man watched her closely to learn whether or not the Lord made his journey successful. Verse 22 and the camels admit his drinking. The man took out a gold nose ring when tobacco into gold bracelets weighed 10 shekels and put them on her wrist, which was the equivalent in those days of changing your Facebook status to interrelationship put on if you want put on one of the other admit it's complicated, but she put a book on verse 26 then the man bow down and worship the Lord saying, praise be to the Lord, the God of my master Abraham, who has not abandoned his kindness and faithfulness to my master the young woman ran and told her mother's household about all these things now Rebecca had a brother named Ladon and he hurried out of the man at the spring and Laban said, come, you are blessed by the Lord to Eliezer repeats the whole story to him and Eliezer concludes with verse 49.

Now if you will show kindness and faithfulness to my master tell me now, but if not, tell me so that I may know which way to turn next verse. 57. Then they said what's called a young woman asked her about it so they called Rebecca master you go with this man. I will go.

She said all right be very clear book of Genesis is not primarily a romance manual for instructions on how to date brow to raise kids, the book of Genesis is primarily the story of how God fulfills his promise to bless Abraham to make Abraham a blessing to the world by bringing forth the Messiah from his lineage, but the book deals with practical matters about life along the way.

Scholars tell us that the Hebrew people retold stories like this one to instruct young boys about how to approach various situations in life, like marriage. So what we see in this story are embedded six principles six instructive things about finding a wife to translate into any culture or cultures are very different, but these six things are to translate as well and ours is wasn't there before I give those to you. Let me acknowledge that there are some things in the store that we clearly do not apply.

We are never encouraged. For example, to employ these kinds of special give me a sign test unit, make this happen that the Bible never encourages us in this day and age the new sign test for God at the Bible college that I went to for my first year of college. We tried to apply the story by going up the girls on campus and asking them if they would iron our shirt and the deal was if she volunteered, not just R&R services at all and the church of every guy in your door and we knew that she was the one that is probably not a valid application of this passage, so I'm not encouraging that at all those things are applied here. The six vitally important components of healthy dating or courtship and really any culture. Here's number one.

The importance of knowing what time it is the importance of knowing what time it is there is any time you see in this story to seek a wife with a lot of intentionality here. Abraham knew it was time and he set out the servant and I say that because there seem to be a lot of guys in the Christian world, especially were just sitting around waiting on marriage to come up on their laps. But there is a time to seek marriage intentionally.

I have heard girls in our church complain of the phenomenon that they refer to as the sneaky date to seek a day where I got figures out how to go out with you without ever going to the danger of having to ask you out is always arranging the circumstances were overlooked were together again hello what you know were here together I want that actually ask you out, you might turn me down. So to manipulate the circumstance that give the name that we get this is the predation ship the relationship were kind of friends, but it seems to be something else and maybe a subjective Facebook status as a guide. Refer to me. I don't know guys when it's time to seek a wife doing with boldness. I really thought I gets more immense. Thank you very much for that work for them from you girls put on a shirt guys with buttons, preferably nothing to have Star Wars written on anywhere they shave disinvited so you put product in your hair. And when you know that it's right don't string her along don't give a ring on her finger with some elusive promise of marriage way out there barrier. Now I'm not talking about rushing into things or bring in a marriage in your first date. I do not ever tell anybody. I encourage you back. That's creepy in any context got that out, I just say no when it's time what time it is your life and act decisively jury during that time.

On the flipside it's not time to get married is in your two younger you will have a job or your life is way too much of a mess for you to enter into a relationship. Are you still living your parents basement, are you going to achieve a high ranking status in World of Warcraft and you not there yet. I'm been by all means don't forward girls or leave them on right I dating is a road that leads to marriage and if you don't want to go to the destination.

The don't get on the road. The point is know what time it is in your life and act decisively. My father gave me this verse in the book of Proverbs when I was 17 years old. Peter finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord to things from adversity since first of all, godly wife is a blessing from God. Secondly, God expects you at some point in your life. Go looking for he that find it implies he be looking right Saverio number two number two you see in the story. The importance of reciprocity. Now this is A lightweight point, but I still like it for the to acknowledge there is no God told me to come here you Rebecca so pack your bags. There is seeking of her consent and their culture. Scholars say this would've been a temper on arranged marriages in our days means that God is. You should never ever ever pull the God card. I thought God wants to get married. Don't I met on God, own it, it's you write or girls works the other way when I was single and I would go around and preach at youth groups or college events. I got more than one letter, but I kept them in a file. I got more than one letter telling me some girl telling me that God had told her that we were supposed get married like the Lord just does not put that in my heart yet with ever with you. I don't think but I think that you have the spirit of God's vulnerable God card number three importance of marrying in the faith importance of marrying in the faith Abraham did not. When Isaac marrying a Canaanite why because he didn't want his descendents to lose the lose the threat of the promise one of the most damaging things may be the most damaging thing that you can do to your children and your grandchildren is to marry a non-Christian, we have people in our church were dating somebody who does not share their faith right now and they think it's no big deal. I like him. I like her.

I can probably convert him. First of all, that's probably not true. But here's the bigger question. Have you thought about your future children. The biggest impact on their spiritual lives is going to be that person that you marry and you are intentionally going into a relationship where you're going to make the biggest influence on the somebody who didn't even share your faith, honestly, are you really that selfish. Are you really that selfish that you got lost in him or her because I like him who carries the impact they have on my kids later. Do you really care about the faith of your future children told you a few weeks ago only marry a non-Christian at the faith of your future children is not that important to you and by the way, if you're not a Christian.

I'm not trying to pick on you and I'm certainly not trying to demean you if I got told you a few weeks ago that if you're not a Christian honestly is in your best interest. You should date one unless you plan to become one why because the Christian that you're dating right now really wants to convert you you you may prove that they have you here this weekend and they're open I say the magical lot of father was cut and was using to get the tear yet you do it. Point is, they don't accept you as you are. They want you to change their parents don't like you right now that the family right now at this moment they know your church and their prey and somewhere for your soul right now.

I promise you that's what they're doing family dinner. It's never good to be totally harmoniously. Everybody want you to become a Christian and understand. Don't don't don't they want what you plan to become one. I would say that for your own interests as much as anything else by believers.

Let me make sure this you get this for our enemy works when our enemy cannot successfully attack our faith.

What he does he puts us up in situations that stop the progress of the faith beyond us. Baylon did this and in the Old Testament. Baylon was a prophet that the Moabite king bay rack hired to curse Israel will Baylon try to do it three times and he could never do an ethical donkey story the donkey speak back to and everything Baylon could ever do it as he said God has not cursed these people so I can curse him survey rights is one of my got to do a page you available this huge sum of money and you tell me you can curse him. He said well you know that money so they what I can curse them but you can get them to curse themselves. They wrote to tell me how to do it.

He said just send out all the hot Moabite women into the camp and make them seduce the Israelite men so that they get married so that their children grow up in homes whether not sure if they worship God or if they don't destroy the next generation.

And that's what they did and it worked and worked and their generation. It works in ours. We God cannot usually when Satan cannot destroy your faith, he does put you in a situation where he destroys in the next generation. I have told my kids. I want my grandkids to trust Jesus and by God's grace, I will my great-grandchildren to trust Jesus.

But that's gonna be in their hands, not mine, and it's in large part determined by who may choose to marry and whom they Mary is going to be determined by who they choose to date. So when Paul gives the command in second Corinthians 614 to not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever.

Do not be in an intimate relationship of any kind with an unbeliever that is a command it is. It is end of sentence. There are no exceptions. It means that if you are a Christian that you non-Christian you are out of the will of God and you are walking in disobedience, but that command is given to you not to be mean to you the command is given to you because it understands what the future looks like for you and you would be wise to heed it. Number four the story shows you the importance of character, the importance of character Eliezer observed her from a distance. What does he see as he observes he sees that she's a servant hearted person he see she is gracious and hospitable, excessively so the tests that she goes through reveal her character. Now character is not the only thing that matters in a relationship. She's beautiful to me may notice that, but character is by far the most important thing over a thousand years later, the apostle Peter would say this way. He's speaking specifically, the women here, but it would apply to both genders first three first Peter three. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, your beauty should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, watch this, which is of great worth in God's sight.

In other words, character is of great vibrator value in God's sight than physical beauty. And I would say to you ought to be of greater value in your site than physical beauty. Why Peter says because that kind of beauty is unfading physical beauty, Peter implies is fading in at least two ways. First of all, the physical beauty itself fades as we have said here before as you get older things sag in a wrinkle in the gray image group minute. That is the entirety of somebody's beauty then they become really ugly and old age of that's the only beauty that they have the second way physical beauty fades.

Listen to this is its power over you fades even if somebody could manage to hang on to their physical beauty through you to make upper Botox or LIFO suction. Whatever its impact on you fades, psychologist, say 18 months is all that it takes for the intoxicating effects of beauty to wear off.

Thus listen if you are wise in the dating process you will prioritize the evaluation of character the way Eliezer are did with Rebecca because that kind of beauty that kind of beauty is unfading. That kind of beauty just gets more beautiful as you get older and how do you tell their character, you ask by watching how they relate to other people. You see, character is rarely revealed and how they relate to you in the dating stage. As I explained in the dating stage there in the used car salesman mode with hybrid effects of put forward awesome stucco with that rattled the engine. I don't know what's her on the radio. The serial works great on the air conditioner look out cold beer is no, don't worry about that soundest that's what they're doing right so what you need to do is you have to have time to see them relate to the camels in their life. Metaphorically speaking, II was I want one, very successful CEO here in Raleigh-Durham who told me that we interview somebody and he does in a restaurant. He's always watching how the person.

The interviews treat people around them how they treat the waitress he told me says more than twice use it twice twice in my career. I've hired a waiter or waitress on the spot just watching how he or she treated me how they treated the person around them.

He said because that kind of character that would show itself in the midst of waiting on tables is the kind of character that I want working for me and my company.

That's what Eliezer did the English word character by the way, comes from the ancient word Caracas, which referred to the engraving Don on like a signet ring where you you would answer no matter what you press to the end. It always made the same impression every time character is the kind of thing in your soul that no matter what relationship you're in, you make the same imprint you back the same soap you want to evaluate someone's character, you ask questions like what the reputation what the repartee I think was Abraham Lincoln who said that reputation is the shadow that is cast by the tree of character your characters in a cast shadow.

If you want to know what a person reputation how they treat their parents. That's a really good question because guys howled that girl treats her dad is pretty good picture of how she can relate to you in 20 years and girls how that guy treat his mom's regulations about how you relate you in 20 years you'll believe that. Ask anybody was been married for more than two decades. How do they have a servant spirit like Rebecca is he or she faithful in their commitments. If they can hold a job if they can keep their word. Other people there when the world makes you think of their to be able to keep their commitment or keep their word to you. Can they keep their hands off of you.

If they can't control themselves in the dating stage sexually when they know that it's wrong and they can do it now, what makes you neighborhood change when they get married. Girls, if he can't control himself now will make you think is the control himself when he's on the Internet late at night, you're not around. If if she can keep her hands off you sir guy. What makes you think that in a compromising situation. After you get married.

She can be able to control as of then character does not change to really see character you need at least two things here need A any time, any time you have to be able observe them in regular life contexts about pass it along. Over 13 years, but it still amazes me. People come in an effort to weeks not already get married, I'm nothing you can ever be right. But don't bring God into a God's not in that sinners know what you can know and do not say what my heart knows your heart is all hopped up on the drive drug of infatuation. What happens you're so excited about the idea of being in love that you take this person that you like but you will know all of them yet.

So the parts of them you don't know you fill in with what you want them to be. But just because you want them to be.

That doesn't mean that's what they are and then you get married and find out all the parts you made up are not really true at all. You need time to see them in different context. I heard about a Christian couple.

No joke. Going to church over this a got engaged after a week and 1/2, and it never even met could only talk to email and pictures some other guy, the Scott archers challenge this kindness and the gusset will surely never met but she perfect. We both want have the same number of kids in this case it was eight. He's like that's a sign she dresses always wanted a girl address.

I'm assuming that was a denim jumper and she wears her hair the way that always wanted a girl aware Barbara respectfully think you did more to go on than that only time and proximity reveals who they really are. You need to understand how their past shapes them how the wounds of their past affect the relationships what they're like.

Under pressure, how they handle responsibility, what their ideas of family and success are the other thing that you need to see character.

Listen to this. You need to keep a physical out of it you can buy that. I mean sexual stimulation, sexual stimulation, intoxicate you, and it hinders your ability to evaluate anything soberly like a drug. Your bodies in pain or your sick either the doctor and he prescribed a coding bill you for the coating film and you fill awesome that your body actually is an awesome but you feel awesome because the drug deceives you.

Is that how you really feel which is fine when you're sick we do that in a relationship or lead you to to disaster when the coating wears off your body still sick. When the physical excitement of sex fades. All you're left with is a sick relationship so I would encourage you to keep the physical minimal for your own sake.

Around here we say postpone physical commitment. AL AP as long as possible because sexual stimulation sabotages the wise spouse selection process. My dad not a theologian, never been in any kind of full-time ministry are embarked on ministry just a very down-to-earth guy who just gave Road radicalism when I was 17 years old. He said listen, he said I will give you for laws that if you obey these laws in your relationship grow this, save you from a lot of trouble on it metaphorically with winds of these came to be known as Lynn's laws any college if you cottage or, if you ever met my dad within three minutes he will give you these laws undergo a good guy. Right now they say he's a personal son. He said nothing in the dark and the dating stage. Nothing.

Nothing in the dark. He said number two. Nothing should last longer than five seconds or less over the five seconds it just became sin for said number three nothing in the dating stage should ever happen below the chin.

He said number four never, ever, ever, ever lie down is if you can lie down with a good-looking girl not become sexually aroused, is that you and I got other things we need to talk about Matt Chandler. Nothing good and godly ever happens between dating couples with A-line accounts together late at night to watch a movie.

It is never in the history of humankind led to discussions about cinematography or the symbolic resonance of the directors body of your work or whatever it never leaves anything good.

Solomon says it this way and the song of Solomon speaking to women here promise meal women of Jerusalem by the gazelles in the wild beer not to awaken love until the time is right in their culture. Gazelles and wild beer represented youthful sexual vigor and so Solomon is saying. Keep them hibernating until it's time for them to run when it's on from Ron let another cage and let them go wild, but until that time sleeping. Keep them hibernating deep in the cage, by all means, listen do not live together somebody who has lived with 2 to 3 people before they get married has right at a 0% chance.

Statistically staying married in the first marriage. Even if you don't believe in God, I would say that is sound counsel for you. Now you like what I have done that I will get to that of the and how God's grace rewrites a lot of the stories but I'm just simply trying to say.

I know this is difficult, but this time were your dating is a test for you.

If the test in which God builds character is a test in which God sees.

If you trust him enough to wait to wait on what he has to see if you love him enough to bring your sexual desires under his Lordship in a motel you want to man a young man or young woman brings this area under the control of the Lordship of Christ. God uses to us using that to establish lifelong trust and health in their relationships and releases dynamite spiritual power into their lives. Ministry really clear and the standard is or seems to be some conclusion God's word says that any sexual relations are to happen only after the covenant of marriage has been formalized. That means not in the dating stage not in the engagement stage, not in the week leading up to your wedding. It is after the covenant has been made.

That is when you awaken the gazelles in the wild beer so you need to prioritize character in the dating process and while you're waiting focus on its prioritize this development and you you become the kind of Rebecca that were talking about what we said a few weeks ago, is are you the person that the person you're looking for is looking for. Are you the person the person you're looking for looking for and that's what God wants you to prioritize and let him worry about what is going to bring you in his time. Number five we see in the story.

The importance of godly counsel in the story. We are immediately struck with how involved families are more so than we're used to, and I'm not try to push back to arrange marriages minutes. There's a lot of problems with that. I actually my kids are probably not a bad idea but am I member my parents picked out for me I like about their but in our culture and our culture. We going to the opposite extreme. I would not, and arguably the most important decision of our lives, we isolate ourselves and tell ourselves that our partners best.

Your heart is an emotional idiot. No fence, but it is mind to it is easily deceived or about this decision.

We consult only with our best friends who are no older wiser than we are different. Read Lord of the flies. Basically the plot line you control what you berate, it doesn't turn out well. I can assure you, you need wise and godly counsel, particularly at this stage of your life.

If there were no other practical reason to be involved in the church as a single. This would be it attraction and dating are so exhilarating and confusing.

You need people who are wise, who can look in from the outside, soberly without the diluting adrenaline of attraction and help you navigate the relationship. Sometimes they can see the obvious problems that you can't see because you're so hopped up on the on pheromones or maybe they can see that your writing somebody off because of some silly preference for fear that really makes no long-term difference. Again, Matt Chandler, 1 Sure Way to walk in foolishness in a romantic relationship. If the date somebody who troubles the godly counselors in your life.

There's a question. Do you have godly counselors in your life maybe is not in trouble.

Anybody is nobody knows you and if you do, are you listening to them to give a practical application of this with married people and single people marry people first open your life up a single people in our church include them in your families don't hang out married people clicks all the time. I cook them in your small groups get to know them friend of mine tells the story be at a restaurant with his wife where his oldest daughter was working as a waitress. She waited on tables across the restaurant and there was this guy who was 15 years older than her was run it on to you know making suggestive comments, And she said you are trying to show him she's on edge that he would leave her alone because you eat you saying you know this is just gonna give your number. Eventually my friend said she stopped she pointed across the restaurant. She said that's my dad. We share the same phone number if you want my phone number.

Once you ask him.

My friend says listen. It is God's plan that every woman in the body of Christ should have a man around her that she can point to and say you're interested in me what you ask him. They need a community. Single people need a community that can help each relationships form and flourish single people.

The flipside is for you. You need to get integrated in the church don't hang out in singles only clicks we got young professional ministries here and ministries to be single. It really every stage of life you need to go to those when you're there, you need to ask you later eat used to say help me get involved in the lives of some families or the church to that might be through a small group. Maybe you're in a small group with only single people. That's fine, but serve on a ministry team here that's one of the best ways to get to know people at different ages. Get to know some family in a ministry team I just tell them invite me over for dinner. Don't feel bad is not rude because you're single and want toward your house because our member will my house is like I was a single guy, I don't want you coming over what we had when I was single click on when we're single one of my roommates had perfected what he called the Pyle system the Pyle system for files when he washed his clothes he would take them out of the dryer and he would put them in pile number one what you were once we going to pound number 2 to 3 times after you worn it goes in the pound number three have to play basketball in it. When in the pile. Number four which point he picked follow-up and you watched it again. The best part of this whole system was. He said that if it laid there. The article clothing laid there for more than three weeks. It automatically upgraded a pile that was his system now so you know will my house smelled like I didn't want anybody. Kids can earn miles, or about not inviting us, safe, invite me over for dinner and I'll do it and I'll pay for it. You want today to find a person say by me over there they'll take you out today. Right number six number six the importance of trusting God the importance of trusting God Eliezer and Abraham and Isaac Bay.

This whole process and trust are two ways that Eliezer demonstrates his trust in God I give them to use an entity a he he prayed.

Eliezer prayed you notice this at every turn he keeps praying and he really believe that God heard his prayers and would provide in this area is my question. Do you believe that you believe that God really hears your prayers about this and that he is working and that he is answering his prayers. My daughter five-year-old Mariah this this way we are in our kitchen. We have a thing codified and extroverted that is a high-powered blender that you can basically drop a suet so she went in and we will turn into something that you can drink and so it is so loud and I'm surprise I'm going to point letters from people to live free straightaway tell me I cut that out users is like a jet engine taken off and are on and are our kitchen. Well this week. I'm no mixes up to Noah like a fruit breaker but why comes up to me and the things you can't hear anything in the house and she writeups me on the help and I look down and see for 30 seconds talks to me.

I can hear her thinking out of her mouth and she nods her head. She walks off like she thinks I just heard her and I thought when I saw that what I like that. Is this how I understand the heavenly father hears me that no matter what noises going on in my life around the I know that he is listening closely to everything that I say on this regard, Matthew chapter 6 Jesus said the heavenly father knows one finger falls on your head. He knows one bird drops out of the sky if he understands what's going on but Heyer was gone with birds that he knows and he hears when you call to him about this most important area and you can trust him with it. Do you really believe he hears your prayers.

Here's the other way that Eliezer showed his face he wouldn't compromise. It wouldn't compromise if Rebecca wasn't the one he's not gonna settle the proof of trust.

Listen the roof of trust is that you will compromise even when things get difficult.

There many of you that have good intentions and if you could wave a magic wand you would marry the right guy. The right girl. But what happens is, God is at work on your timetable and so you compromise faith is not shown in the intentions you have faith is shown by your refusal to compromise when things don't work out on your timetable here that faith is not shown by you write anything down right now. I'm glad to write it down. That's not where you show faith. Faith is what you show when it's not working out the way that you want and you say, God, I'm going to trust you all the way to Jim Elliott the missionary to Ecuador. It would one day be martyr talked about his pursuit of a wife. He said I might add.

Amend the book of Genesis, Adam fell asleep in the will of God, and you woke up and got it provided a wife. I want to fall asleep in the will of God, and know that God will provide that when it's time you need to focus on the will of God in your life and trust God to supply that listen to not date somebody that you would marry. Dating is a road that leads to a destination and every mile you travel together get harder and harder to take the exit ramp you one last sidelight on how Abraham sees me.

Eliezer trust in God. One other element in this and it fits into the bigger picture of Genesis started with the beginning listen very closely. This all in Genesis.

As I explained, is not about how to find a wife. The book of Genesis is about a promise that God gave to Abraham a promise that would bring him exceeding joy, a promise that would give us what Jesus called the abundant life to bless us to make a blessing.

Listen that blessing did not consist of romance and a good family that blessing consisted of a Messiah who would come to restore what had been broken in our lives and what had been broken was not romantic. What a been broken was spiritual.

It was our relationship with God that had been broken free blessing in life.

The blessing is not getting married V blessing is being reunited with God.

We say Jesus plus nothing equals everything now it's true.

As I've explained your created for community is not good, but you live alone, but as I've shown you in a series marriage and biological family is not the only way is not even the ultimate way that God fills our lives with community the church. The friendships within the church ministry relationships. These are God's ultimate community naturally to spend our last message in the series on for now. What I need you to understand, listen the blessing that you're looking for the promise of Abraham's wife is not a husband is not children, it's Jesus, and after the story. It's really sweet. Turn you see in the greater story of Genesis, the one about Jesus in many ways, it turns the story on its head.

Jesus is like Eliezer are the servant of God. He leaves the home and he crosses great distance more than a desert.

He crossed the gap between deity and humanity.

The gap between holiness and sin, but he did not find and so were the virtuous bride like Rebecca, he found in someone who had sold themselves out of prostitution. It was not our generosity that impressed him it was his generosity that took compassion on us and give us gold bracelets are a nose ring. He shed his blood to make us his bride and his is why this is really good news for some of you some of you have really messed up your dating story that you messed up your whole life. The good news of the gospel is not a follow these rules everything to be fine. The good news of the gospel as you messed everything up, but I make all things new. My blood can wash my blood can cleanse my blood can bring new life.

That's what was in the gospel is not primarily good advice. The gospel is good news not primarily a message about what you need to do to fix your life, but a message about what God has done that he wants you to receive the good news of the gospel is that God came for you in spite of how you messed things up that his blood can wash you the whole Bible is about God redeeming us as his wayward unworthy bride. We were worthy of the way the Rebecca was yet God set his affection on us were still sinners, he pursued us and we were running the other way. The purchases with his own blood, and we had sold ourselves in the spiritual prostitution any offers that love to us as a gift, but like Rebecca, you have to choose to receive it. God not to force it on you. There's reciprocity involved.

You have to say yes. But here's the awesome thing when you choose to receive his love and forgiveness is a gift is actually going to heal your damage so is going to be the ability to become the right kind of marriage partner.

It's always said over and over throughout the series.

We have problems in horizontal relationship a way to fix them is not a focus on them is to fix this relationship because the quality of your vertical relationship with God will determine the quality of your horizontal relationships with everybody else. So the question is do you have that kind of relationship with Jesus. Maybe that's why you're here. If not, if you don't have a current relationship you wanted because you can have it by simply receiving the Lordship of Christ and trusting him as your Savior want to bow your heads all of our campuses by your hands. Listen the gospel consists of two commands repent and believe the word repent a surrender or you will. And right now to say to Jesus, if you don't know for sure that he is your Lord and Savior anyone right now to say Jesus as your right I'm wrong or the Lord not me believe another word for believers receive are you willing to receive the salvation that he came in purchase for you as a gift. If you're willing to receive him right now. You surrender your receive and you say yes or Jesus father. All of our campuses as we prepare to take the Lord's table. The great symbol of the price you paid to purchase us as your bride got a print she would open our hearts to the largest of your love for God. We will be overwhelmed by your love so that we would love others the way that you have loved us.

We ask that God in Jesus name