Submission: Training for Exiles, Part 2

Well, I was so grateful for past ridesharing with us last week.

Yeah, not as you typical handclapping mode yeah but I think it's only possible in zoom but if there's a way to do it. I've been do that were an amazing word offer Matthew chapter 5 he brought us some you know we have been through some challenging times as a society over the last few weeks, but we know that in the gospel are the resources for true reconciliation between the races. The Gospels aim we know is not only to tear down the walls of hostility between man and God is also there to tear down the walls of hostility between man and man.

The picture of the bride of Christ we see in Revelation 7 I depicts not just a throng of individuals united to God, but a throng of nations also united to each other. We believe that churches that take this gospel seriously will seek to reflect the diversity of their communities and proclaim the diversity of the coming kingdom. That's what we we love to say and so we are glad the blasts were honored to have Pastor Brian here to join us in that I know this is been a difficult time and a lot of you are confused about where the church stands were going a lot of the stuff, do a members meeting mama talk about that more clarify some things they want to acknowledge some things that all that we've done as good as what we could have. I'm also going to share with you some plans for regathering in light of the most recent COBIT announcements catch you up in that discussion, so we'll talk about those things. We are in a series called together we endure it as a study through Peter's first letter to the church so if you got your Bible and love you grab it right now. I love you to turn to first Peter three would always encourage you to have your Bible open when somebody teaches from it because it helps you see and make connections and read the passage better later got a notebook or something you could. You can write on. You probably use that well is now okay here's the deal. I we are preaching expositional. Either the Bible that means you let the text of Scripture set the agenda instead of you know, cannot figure it out anybody wants an ad to hear about it and trying to find stuff in the Bible to back it up. You let the Bible determine what people need to hear by just moving your way through on the passages of Scripture. I am committed to that approach, as are other teachers should summa church because we believe this is Jesus's church is not mine, and so that means he sets the agenda for what he wants his church to know, not me. But here's the deal when you're committed to this approach. That means that sometimes you gotta preach hard messages, difficult passages because there in the Bible and that's what were going to do today. In fact, is my first point today right. This is God's word, not Pastor JD's buddy write that now. This is God's word, not Pastor JD's. And so when you are ready to email me angrily. Just remember that line go back to the first one, and asked him, I met a JD of nomadic at the Holy Spirit what he is inspired here. That's my first point.

This is God's word, not mine. Okay here we go. First one chapter 3 likewise wives, be subject to your own husband is not okay. Do not reach that remote to turn me off. Hear me out. Okay, the most overlooked word in this whole passage is the first word. Likewise, and thereby look at somebody close you right now and say likewise likewise likewise means in the same way.

Remember, this is the third of three relationships that Peter is using to illustrate a principal.

How should a stranger and exile respond to difficult relationships or unjust treatment member identity in first Peter is strangers and exiles. I was a stranger and exile respond to difficulty relationships and even unjust treatment in this relationships the previous two relationships that use it. We were looked at were submitting to an imperfect and sometimes unjust government that was chapter 2 verse 13 to 17 and then secondly been under the control of an unjust master. That's the last part of chapter 2. These are all just applications of the principal the principle is what is important because this cannot apply to any relationship or example in all of these relationships, Peter says is Christ in any relationship where you were experiencing hardship or suffering or injustice. Peter says okay let's read it out loud together. Verse 21, for you were called to this because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example that you should follow in his steps. He did not commit sin and no deceit was found in his mouth when he was insulted. He did not insult in return when he suffered, he did not threaten, but entrusted himself to the one who judges justly, he himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that, having died to sins we might live for righteousness by his wounds you have been healed. Hey I have an idea. What if you committed to memorizing this passage. It's so central in how Peter teaches you to think about life and relationships. I think it would help you, just a habit that you run your air when you're missing any difficult relationship. If you're a family like I am doing your kids what I do pay your kids two dollars a verse to memorize that passage in your great weighted that the house of the states with you. From his first Peter Sears okay this passage what it says is that Christ did three things in the face of injustice that we have looked at during the last two studies number one. He was patient does versus 22 and 24 there. Chapter 2 the understood suffering was an interval part of God's plan of salvation. His wounds were the means by which God brought salvation to the world and and Peter tells us that in some mysterious way that that's true. Abbas also our wounds are to be used to bring salvation and healing to others. A lot of Christians I explained to you I will reverse when do this they bought into this lie, that if you follow Jesus and you do things right. Everything's gotta go smoothly. I don't know what savior they're following but I can assure you it's not the Jesus of the Bible to follow in Jesus. The steps means that you should expect unjust suffering right you were called to this. Jesus didn't roll into Jerusalem and escalate and take up residence in a mansion became in on a donkey and he had it nowhere even to lay his head.

Number two, number two, this passage of the chapter 2 shows us again this just to review that he committed himself to him who judges justly.

That's verse 23 he knew the earthly justice may never come. But he knew that God would give full justice to him.

His heavenly country of an he he was willing to be patient and wait for that number three. This passage tells us that Jesus Doing good is verse 23.

Even when he was being slandered even when others wrong and he kept doing the right thing, knowing that in all situations.

He would respond first and foremost to God that God would would vindicate him one day okay I better let you example. We've applied to government with its plot it unjust masters. Now let's apply that mentality to marriage. I'm back to chapter 3, verse one. Likewise wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be one without a word by the conduct of their wives when they see your respectful of your conduct. Do not let your adorning the external the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or clothing you wear, but let your adorning me the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.

This is how the holy women who hope in God used to adorn cells by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord now hold on you like that's a jarring statement to modern ears right you like is upward on the day I suggested this to Veronica that she call me Lord for the rest of the of the week is an application of this and in that conversation did not go very well to hear me out.

Okay, I'll show you exactly what that means in it lays the lower business. It doesn't mean you call your husband, Lord, for the rest of the week yet more not a couple minutes to get a list degree a menu or her children.

If you do good and you do not hear anything that is frightening ladies a question for you is going to be. How do you submit your husband in a Christlike way. By the way foremost in Peter's mind is a life with an unsaved husband because I was really common in the early church. A lot of ladies would get saved in their husbands did not. The earliest church converts were were women and so they had this question of how do you you live with a spouse that doesn't share some of your deepest convictions we a lot of people in our church. In that same situation also in I know that a lot of them feel just as losses. Peter's listeners must've felt. That's why he says that those who do not obey your husbands or your wife if it's an unbelieving wife will be one without a word through your conduct private even if you're both Christians. Surely all of us. You still got moments of frustration were your spouse let you down. Even just flat out wrong. The question for for you and that moment is, how do you respond in a marriage relationship like that honey respond like Christ in that moment, I verse seven and likewise, husbands in the same way, husbands members give me an application for you here also write you should live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, now that's another phrase that sounds pretty strange to the modern ears right will will get about a minute on since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, you should do this, he says, so that your prayers may not be hindered meant question for you is going to be what does it mean to show honor to your wife in a Christlike way.

A lot of men have absolutely no clue on as I heard a story about four golfers were out front around the golf afternoon as they were lining up there, their shots, the first man saw a lot of cars going by the middle of the day. The lights were on, clearly was a funeral. This man took office And he fell to his chest and he bowed his head and waited.

Take a shot what his friends were just like totally shot bait. They'd never seen him show that, respect or compassion and I said hey that was how we got a lot of respect and compassion in the man's a yeah, least I could do a me, we were married for 35 years right so that what he means well probably is is good to be a lot more than than that. Okay so let's talk about three ways Peter tells you the seven versus three ways you are to honor your spouse, after the example of Christ. Hey before you jump into this point. I know this is going to be can be a difficult thing to hear is a difficult thing to apply to do we just take a minute and we just pray together about that.

Ask God to give us help in this way, if you're not not in a marriage relationship, you can still ask God to give you the spirit that were talking about that that Peter says he applies to marriage but but it applies in so many other places as well. So you can ask you the spears want to buy your heads and and and money lead you this right you pray father give me the tenderness of heart to understand your word and receipt.

God give me the surrender to obey it and give me the strength to endure and it's for your glory and my good I pray in Jesus name I want you take 30 seconds just make that where your Malcolm back three years will amen okay three ways Peter tells you to honor your spouse to the example of Christ. What more you use your power to bless and serve not manipulate or control. Peter points in this passage to different powers that both men and women have in the relationship and he shows you what to do with it. If you're following the example of Christ.

I so sorry amendment.

Of course usually have physical power in the relationship are typically bigger and stronger.

I think that's primarily what Peter means number seven, when he calls the wife the weaker vessel.

Also, I would add in Rome weaker probably met weaker in her power in the marriage. Marriage law in Rome was way better for man that it was for for women, a man, for example, can have affairs were almost expected to the wife. She could be killed if she had an affair. Men could divorce their wives for pretty much any reason, the way she cooked if she would let you go to the gladiator games on Saturday if you like the way she aged, I just doing existing record divorce revealing wives for the most part could not divorce their husbands for any reason and divorces always favor the man. The money was his. The kids remained is many divorced women in those days had to resort to prostitution was a horribly unjust system with the point is that she was a weaker vessel legal is also weaker in the sense that that that the New Testament gives to the husband in a Christian marriage. It gives the husband the position of leadership in the home she is told to submit the wife is told to submit to the husband in a way that he is not told to submit to her. That's not a bad thing of course is a beautiful Christlike thing but it makes her positionally weaker so he physical weakness legal weakness positional.

Some commentators also say that his reference to Herbie weaker might be a general reference to the fact that God has endowed many women with an emotional sensitivity it makes them more nurturing and compassionate that mothering and state having that sensitivity that emotional sensitivity would not mean that she is inferior. Of course right at me. What's weaker a crowbar or thermometer. While in some ways the thermometers weaker.

You could break yeah but the thermometer can do a lot of stuff that the crowbar cannot do back in many ways.

A thermometer is more powerful useful in crowbar so maybe that's in Peter's mind some dimensions of the bat appears. Point is that none of these aspects of weakness if their true is to make her weary, or in the relationship.

Peter means when he says, since it said to the husband. She is an error with you in the grace of life and air alongside of you in Christ. Use your full equal and are behind you. She's right there with you and Peter's point to the attitudes of the man is whatever power you have the relationship ought to be use leverage to honor her and serve her not not exploit or you to live with her in an understanding way she is emotionally wired differently than you will despise that seek to understand her learn her love language. I love her on her terms for an amount and I am years ago reading the five love languages together were you figure out Canada. The love language at your spouse speaks and we are talking about Asmussen which which which love languages your wife have any disorder features that is it whichever one I'm not practicing at the moment.

He said, but what I'm determined is I'm going to spend the rest of my life trying to understand as much as I can. How does she feel love.

How does she feel firm and I want to love her on her terms remind me of what one of the a marriage counselor that my wife and I Veronica and I saw early on in our marriage. You told me you said you you need to become a student of your wife to live with her in an understanding way in and love her on her terms, and not just in ways that are convenient for for you. You should use any position of strength or power to serve her auto hurts to pursue meeting her needs. Because right minutes is what Christ did with his strength. Let me tell you something that is absolutely wicked. When a man uses his physical power to dominate his wife. Even worse is when he uses the Christian idea of submission and marriage that the dominator that's not what Christ did with his power is Christ use his power to serve Christ laid down his life. It's like CS Lewis I used to say the crown that a man wears in a marriage is first one affords. That means I use the leadership that I have I use whatever position of strength that I have to serve her radically. That means is, as a leader of the family should voluntarily lose 90% of the disagreements we have right now plot the submission card to get her to do what I what I want to do. Dr. Curtis and I were talking the other day about her wives and liberalizing the like a lot of pillows alas a lot of pillows. I mean like in the hundreds. Some how it came up how III can't seem to sit on my calculator on my bed without moving a couple dozen pillows. Maybe minutes a couple hundred pastor curses like that's exactly how it is with his students. They sent me this me that's not either of our wives for the record that's out of drivers with longer but here's the deal. See if I'm leaving a Christlike way I'm letting her win the day on most of the preferences. I'm not saying hey, this is the leaders of this is what were going to do because because that's what it means for me to lay down my life heard serve her and use leadership in a Christlike way.

Every decision I make.

What I'm trying to ask is how can I honor her. How can I lift her up. How can I make life easy for her and of course she's trying to do the same for me.

But the point is, it falls to me to to go first and that man's leadership in the marriage we say is never a license to do what he wants to do a man's leadership is empowerment to do what he ought to do. I know this is a difficult subject. Some of you want to reject what it looks like her great story Tim Keller as Pastor New York City, his wife Kathy Geller before he was in New York City.

They were in Hopewell, Virginia, and this opportunity came up to go to New York City and their print about what they should do and after praying about it for a while.

Tim and Kathy. She said working on different sides. Tim felt like they should go.

Kathy felt like they should stay and I talked for hours and just could not come to resolution. So finally Tim said okay I will do what you want will stay here Is that I look back at him and I said oh no you know you are not put Miss when I make right I gave you about in this marriage.

He gave me about and he gave you the deciding vote. You gotta decide what you think God is saying to our family.

That's the kind of of leadership. That's the kind of positional leadership that that demand the husband is given in the relationship that Peter is talking about. He said whatever you're using whatever power right physical, positional, financial, even the dominance of your personality you use that to bless and to serve and honor her rights never license to do what you want to do is empowerment to do which audited okay for women right. What kind of power did they have and how to use that in a Christlike way will first Peter says he says you get your beauty and your sexuality. Peter indicates many women can build their identity on their beauty and their sexuality and even use that as a means of power when he says in verse three to do not let your adorning the external the breaking of hair, the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing that you wear. He's not saying that you can't braid your hair and you will wear it in a messy bun he saying that the substance of your life should not be beauty. Listen early on women in our culture back then to get taught that their value in the worth and even the power come from their beauty there taught by our culture that a woman with great physical beauty will have power to get what she wants and they will be greatly valued. What Peter says is no what is valuable to God's Christlike character, a calm, steadfast faith in him. Verse four he says but but but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious, gentle and quiet spirit that it mean being introverted and shy that like like extroverted, loud women are offensive to God. Gentle and quiet spirit means somebody who is at peace. Not trying to use her position to manipulate and control, but someone was full of trust in God. That's what's precious to God. Very precious to God because that's the spirit that Jesus submission with a quiet spirit was a core dimension of Jesus's character that's more valuable to God than your beauty and in tough situations. You should likewise be more concerned about what God thinks. Then, and what you can use your power to manipulate get for yourself, since it's a saver simply the Christ likeness of your person is more viable to God than the stylishness of your purse, your faith is more precious to God than your face or your figure submission to God is ultimately more powerful than anything beauty can procure for you single ladies ESA. Your future is going to be determined not by how beautiful you can make yourself or how you can perfectly present yourself you can't post enough beautiful photos of yourself online to make up for what you feel like you're missing my day that's never going to make you feel secure what you're looking for is found in the presence and the promise of your heavenly father right don't adorn yourself, you would say with filtered instrument photos only got the focus of your identity as you wonder, when you see a picture on Instagram how many different times, the person took that picture in order to get that that perfect wanted put out there don't adorn yourself with filtered instrument photos put on Christ but him worry about your future you here's another application for Peter's words and ladies, it's wrong to use your sexual pillows up to manipulate your husband to do what what what you want to withhold that relationship from him until he conforms to the way that you wanted to be a visit as using your your beauty or spear sexuality is power, giving him the cold shoulder making life miserable for him until he does what you want using your power in the relationship to manipulate control. That's is not how Jesus uses his power writes a number one what Peter says to be like Christ in your marriage Christ likeness means that you use your power, whatever it is you find it to bless and to serve never manipulated control ice that raises the question what you're doing your part, but your spouse doesn't seem to be keeping up there in the bargain and they're not doing what they're supposed to do right.

What they're not even a Christian that leads us number two in all things he says do good obey God and trust him was the example of Christ. Right in the face of incompetence and injustice. What did Christ do while we saw that at the beginning right. He committed himself to him who judges justly and many Doing good and trusting God with the results. Look at Peter's example of Sarah and in verse five for this is how holy women who hope in God used to adorn themselves by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, and you were her children. If you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening use of Sarah as an example here is really helpful. Abraham was not a perfect man, my longshot. I know we are songs about father Abraham had many sons and I being one of them and so are you. But if you read Genesis and Rosita.

Abraham really blew it. A number of times he he led their family to places he shouldn't have led them and he made some truly boneheaded decisions, but Sarah Peter says stayed by him and was submitted to his leadership serves not light like this guy does not know what he is doing clearly would be better with me in charge. It might've been. I but once you do verse six. She did the right thing she knew to do which was honoring her husband's leadership in committing herself to God and as a result, says she didn't fear what was frightening member Kathy Keller statement I gave you earlier like I will let you decide this because this is the leadership role that is given you, but then I'll trust God that that right or wrong decision. God's gonna take care of me because I'm doing what I'm supposed to do right.

This doesn't mean by the way ladies you'll offer your opinion even stronger times any man. I will tell you makes decisions for his family without counsel of his wife is a full, it means that your attitude and marriage is dominated by a calm trust in God, not a frantic manipulation to get what you want to take care of yourself as you committed yourself to him use this moment to say to be really clear on something so nobody's confused, Peter is not saying that spousal abuse is okay or the God want you staying up home where you're being abused and just take it like some sort of expression of Christ likeness y'all. There is no passage of Scripture that would encourage you to do that, if for no other reason than staying in an abusive home is enabling somebody to send Psalm 11 says of the Lord hates those who do violence should not subject yourself or your children to that need to protect yourself and your kids and and and help your spouse get help. Also, now I realize, of course, these are that's a very difficult situation. It's impossible for me to address the particulars of of different situations and general ways. Let me to say that if you got questions about this. You think you might be in a relationship like this one encourage you to to reach out for some help. You start with our counseling ministry here call bridge Avon and go from there or or if it's more of an emergency, call the domestic violence hotline for that number right here for the on the screen for you on regardless to get back to the point. Peter's point is that in any situation you find yourself in right regardless of what your spouse is doing you got to continue doing good and trusting God with the results.

Nobody else's sin justifies your sin, your husband or your wife there being dominant act like an idiot. You keep obeying God. He trusted him. When you do that, God promises to help you, just like he did Christ. Psalm 125 the Lord is good to those who walk up rightly see is their shield and their support. Psalm 34 the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry.

The Lord will rescue his servants. No one who takes refuge in him will ever be. For sake, so when in all things you you you you do good and you obey God and you trust him. God promises to be your refuge and ill will take care of you on the flipside, Peter says when you take matters in your own hands you're a mess everything up and then God becomes your enemy 07. Likewise, husbands show honor to the woman so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Man, when you use your power to coerce you might be able to tête-à-tête to manipulate or control your wife to get what you want from her but your prayers are to be entered in your lives. God's blessing and that's far more devastating when your church, your wife and your unkind and you're not.

I think about a lot of them bless and take care of her, but her needs. First, God says, I literally caught off the answers to prayer. That's not a place you want to be on honor her because that's the path that provides God's protection. Listen, I told you this before you take vengeance matters in your own hands and marriage.

You mess everything up. One my favorite stories is a woman had a new shirt that she had gotten blouse and she was so excited about it.

So she asked her husband to zip it up in the back, but it honestly goes over and belittle unhelpfully playful and so he zips it up in any zip up and down two or three times in this effort. Brand-new shirt she could even wear to the things you want to where it suits you so mad she put on a different shirt. She was out of that event comes back into the car is pulled on the driveway and she sees his leg sticking out for money the card so she thinks all others pay him back to sheep rigid addresses on zipper on his pants and third through four times as like you done in the dose.

A sense of satisfaction. I have paid him back and was in the house there.

She is greeted by her husband that is standing there at the kitchen kitchen sink and she thinks that's my who was out there and I goes out there. It was the neighbor.

The neighbor had come to do so. They were doing some work on their car and you passed out cold.

This true story that yet you gonna later revive use of, well, you know, when my grandma zipper I did what any sensible man do. I sat straight up in his head on the engine himself out right when you take matters in your own hands, it always ends badly but as you trust God to keep doing good you let God deal with it because God deals with it much better than you list some family. There's a song we sing with a course as says is you, Lord, are worthy receive all our worship and here it is, nobody can worship you, me, only you can worship God for yourself right and is not dependent on how other people treat you.

Only you can act on his promises.

Only you can obey tallest remind yourselves about right now is to declare that that in all situations were to serve and obey God amendment to bring us back together for our final brief and he is is seen members of say that music is no other receive my and no one can worship me, you, you finally number three Peter teaches us that in marriage grace is a more powerful change agent in his retribution. Now when I say that if I nods her head this but nobody actually believes it, but what Scripture teaches is that in the relationship like marriage grace changes people far more quickly than retribution can because grace changes the heart. Victor Hugo had that great seeing the beginning of lame is where the hardened criminals. All those all has his heart transformed not by an act of retribution by an act of grace. Pastor Brian tells a great story last week about my giving that tip to that waitress that's just been so incompetent and on time but showing an act of grace and open up your heart to just friendship and ultimately to even hear the gospel under my dad tell story about a lady that he worked with who was going to his his sworn enemy, she just did not like him at all and she settled these unkind things and even spread false rumors about Ament and that then something went wrong in her life from that it was her boss was able to administer her to help her and just said to be there for her and he said she will to be one point she said why are you here.

I don't understand why, why, with the way that I treated you. You would be there, but it's that path of grace that open up relationship that ultimately led not just to heal relationship, but the opportunities for the gospel are an African-American lady. I'm sure the story of her grandfather. The Rev. Willie Jenkins who grew up in Mississippi. I'm under the hardship of Jim Crow in his later years he worked for for for the integration of a public schools because of some white teenagers cruise their their neighborhood firebombing homes, vandalizing homes they came to the Jenkins house.

She said many unexpected happened. They ran out of gas right from his house.

Rev. Jake and sons were. They were ready to fight. You know they were rated to defendant said that he resented the glass bottle and busted.

They were soon as you find that he walked over to the car. It was out of gas and the use that busted glass to create a funnel in and siphon some gas from his own car build antitank of those boys would come to vandalize their property back to grace.

She said change them to change the relationship. It ultimately opened up a path of healing.

They left the experience and shame changed by the experience. You see, that's what peters is referring to that kind of grace when he says ladies even when you're in the home of a unkind even unsaved man keep doing good. Keep respondent like Christ, so that so that the unsaved husband might be one without a word by the conduct of your wife because of grace that gives them a taste of Jesus, you're not going to change his heart by manipulating him, berating him wearing them down this best shot at being changed is seen the humble trust in Christlike spirit working through that you win them see how Peter uses that word. This is the way of Christ and how he changed us.

Peter says left us an example to follow in the stands by the way, as he changed you this way. The Scripture tells us that Jesus came to earth, not to continue with the saving John 317, God did not send his son into the world to condemn the world, but the world through him might be saved. Right now we offer. She was merciful. If you receive it. He died on the cross suffer the penalty of your sin in your place.

You ignore that one day he will come again in judgment but you right now could you choose, turn from your sent and received his offer to be saying to be united to him immersing John 316 for God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him receives them will not perish but have eternal life. You want to do that you want to receive him. If so I would just invite you to pray with me right now. You never have before. I was Bauer has father you say I know that I deserve punishment but Jesus took it in my place.

I surrender my life to you and received your offer of forgiveness. Thank you Jesus for saving me a man listen if you pray that prayer would love for you to let us know by just emailing prayer@someandargue.com it allow us to show you the next steps to begin a relationship with you and show you, you could begin the discipleship journey of a lifetime