Is Something Wrong With Me?

Today on Summit life after Jamie Greer talks about guilds, not all guilt of not all shame is bad.

Sometimes guilt and shame like pain you wish you like to be pain-free but pain is a gift to you with your linear hand against the hot stove.

The pain let you know that you're destroying your arm. I'm grateful for that kind of pain. Guilt can be God's messenger showing you that something's not right. Your host Molly benefits. Let me ask you question would you your pretty good person and ensure you have faults, but at least your hearts in the right place. Most of the time right but that begs the question of the day if our hearts really are in the right place why we keep doing the wrong things. Why we still hurt people selfishly art lash out in anger why donor actions for our ideals. Don't worry, you're not alone in asking Pastor JD answers that question today on Summit life, with the message he titled something wrong with me. New series last week book of Psalms called question everything and we are seeing how a book of songs written nearly 3000 years ago, engages some of our most pressing existential questions today. The very first question we look at what you do for them total. The very first question last week from Psalm one was can I really be happy and if so how can I be happy this week will get a look at something that connects very closely to that question. I read something by a psychologist once you said that in order for the human soul to be happy.

It has to feel safe, clean and significant what he meant by that was that in order to be happy.

We have to feel a surge of the freedom of thought were valuable. We forgot thought, we don't need to walk around feeling ashamed or or condemn, but many people do psychologist said or overshadowed by a working sense of judgment but seems to hover over them.

Sometimes it goes back to specific actions that they have taken regret over destroyed marriage and destroyed family on selfish choices and they can identify. This is what this goes back to but at other times, you really can't identify what it is. It's just this kind of dark cloud where you feel like I'm not good enough or if people knew the real me.

They would like me they would reject me, so I got to spend my life trying to prove that I actually actually am worthy. I have worth. One of the best literary depictions that I've ever seen a vessel told you about is in a little obscure book by Gunning, Franz Kafka. The book is called the trial trial.

Basically what happens in the book is you get a guy who is accused of a crime, but is never told of the crime is so he goes from trial to trial, facing accusations, but it's never clear what is being charged up in between the trial you have his internal dialogue and trying to figure out what he had done wrong triggers you all be scenarios and as I've maybe that was it.

Maybe relativism maybe this happened over there.

The last thing the boat toward the jail where you pulled out a knife and stabbed him at the end of book. There's no resolution at all, but Kafka in his memoirs said that he was trying to give a picture of the human soul. Whether the humans will believe in God or not they send a walk around the sense something is not right that something's wrong. There's something wrong with me. That's our question for this weekend is something actually wrong with me, and if so, what keeps me from really finding true happiness is that since I have no idea what it David is going to open up Psalm 32 with the same or that open up someone from last week and if you remember, if the word happy. Blessed is the man whose transgression is forgiven.

Blessed is the Hebrew ashtray. It literally means happy, happy is the one who sin is forgiven sinners transgressions are covered in this Psalm. He's going to come back. Happiness with forgiveness. He is going to say that there is in fact something wrong with you and that feeling of shame or uneasiness has a grain of truth in it, even if it's been distorted and outswim that in a moment, and that in order to be happy you have to deal with that feeling. But you not be within the way that you typically think that you should those be reading verse three when I kept silent, not try to ignore my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long.

Verse four for day and night your hand was heavy upon me. My strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah. Selah is a were the scholars say probably means stop and think about this, so let's do just that will supplement about that for a few minutes anything about it out loud the psalmist in verse three begins to look upward and he connects this feeling of unhappiness. This sense of condemnation to God and he is correct in doing that. You see, when Adam and Eve first sin.

The first emotion they felt was shame over their nakedness and so feeling ashamed of their nakedness. They did what really anybody does when you feel naked. They tried to hide themselves. They made coverage for their nakedness and they hid in the bushes because normal people about what they do and they still make it told you that I have a recurring dream takes place about every 18 months right show up somewhere to preach some big large audience and I got nothing but my boxer shorts on. It's a terrifying dream because I don't want to show up somewhere underdressed or feeling naked.

Normal people don't like to be exposing naked in front of others. Yes, I'm talking to you Mr. elderly man works out at my gym and showers in that locker room okay. Just as FYI unknown people like to be naked in front of others. I that feeling of soul nakedness is now ingrained in our souls and it goes back to our relationship with God. Not all shame is legitimate.

Sometimes shame comes from suffering or abuse is nothing to do with you, but we have a sense of soul judgment that comes from our separation from God, and the realization that it connects to God as a gift from God.

Not all guilt and not all shame is bad.

Sometimes guilt and shame like pain, you may think you you wish your life to be pain-free but pain is a gift to you. If you're leaning your hand against the hot stove.

The pain let you know that your destroying your arm.

I'm grateful for that kind of pain. Guilt can be God's messenger showing you that something is not right and that's what the psalmist is experiencing. Maybe.

Maybe you are finally out of place now you have for the first time in your life the gun to see what your selfish actions have caused in the lives of others maybe are sitting on the edge of a broken marriage. Maybe you're looking at relationships with kids that have been destroyed. Maybe you're looking at a throwaway career. Maybe you are right now listening to me and you are incarcerated and for the first time you're seeing and feeling the consequences of your actions for me. I remember the sense of shame coming on me the first time somebody will explain through the 10 Commandments and explain what they actually meant how they dealt with the heart is a look at like 10 rules and you try to be good at keeping on them explain their all had to do a heart attitude got done I realized I had not A single one of your first love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind. I'm like this like 100 things I love more than God I paid attention to more than got them care about more than God. I think it's down command for five words is honor your father and mother. He explains that that this is God's way of saying, honor the authorities that God has placed in your life and be submissive. The man, and I was like there is not a single authority.

God is everywhere in my life that I did not resent and rebel against many, just not committing adultery is as it has more to do. Jesus said just the act of sex. It has to do with lusting after some but it is not your spouse might well not anywhere close to keep an eye commandment do not, I don't wish that other things and people have actually belong to you and you Whisman that what they had is your property. The whole time he's talking to Mike were coming to the market to market to market to market all pass out many explains no Matthew chapter 5 Jesus said if you hate somebody in your heart you desire their harm. You're guilty not committing murder, come over 10.

If you get 0/10 on the final exam.

You're not passing the course and I was like what is this, this sense of shame and condemnation that I had before God I read of one philosopher who came to this realization from simply reflecting on the fact that the word God, that God had observed every single thing in his life. Jean-Paul Sartre was definitely not a Christian in common all around creepy guy talked about how to achieve. If you have the vantage point of looking through a keyhole in on somebody else's life is observed and without them knowing that will be a feeling of mastery and power, right frontal. He was creepy. He submits the feeling came over me that if there was a God, that's exactly what he was doing with me and there was nothing I had ever done, said or thought that was not recorded in may not be brought back up one day that was terrifying to me and one of the reasons I did not want to believe in God. How would you feel if suddenly I was able to call your name and up on the screen behind me. I was able to play the last 24 hours of your thoughts or I were able to say here's what happened last month.

Last year you would be mortified right had a friend who first in middle school when the older kids.

It is middle school case comes up to him and gives them little card and on. It is one 900 number.

This is going back a ways, but your number 100 number back in the days for that you Internet all at stuff 100 its essential like some porn and so my friend had not.

It was goes home thousand number here's what's happening on the other line hangs up the phone, picked up the phone a second time dials the number listens to it all the way through, hangs it up except 1/3 time because a friend to his because it's Friday night and his parents are going out because a friend of his and says bro you gonna come over here now I do something you listen to this in between Friday afternoon when I think I've been given that number and Saturday morning.

I doubt that one 900 number 58 times. This is my dad. The next morning calls me into the living room and said that you can call on Sunday be going 30 phone numbers. No Saturday never called a dirty phone number, son. I picked up the phone I hit redial. It dollar 30 phone number.

Why are you lying to me referencing at that point I knew I could not deny it. I broke down and started to cry and said that others are this over to give me the number don't it was fun. I should call it.

So I called the number as soon as the legs of wicked woman dad on the other end of the line and that it was she was on her was she doing on the phone and I'm never going to get all the good one, will never ever do it again. That's about sound like an honest mistake, knowledge and distal don't do it again. My friend said as 1/7 grader. I just had no concept of that thing they call the phone bill that is gonna show up and sit until a month later the principal comes on the intercom calls me out of class.

I give the principal's office is a what's wrong. He says discussing her mom and he says I walked out to the parking lot Milan sit in the car and the doors opened and there on the seat. Rob Sosa said is a phone bill for over $500 with 58 one 900 number calls on it. The second the idea that everything that goes in and out of that phone is being recorded something that was beyond my mind. If you knew that all these things that you had done in secret all these things that you thought were asked were hidden would one day be exposed. Is that not terrifying.

The realization of that is a gift of God is God's mercy to you.

That's why for 300 years, the Christian church has sung the song amazing grace that has a verse it says to his grace that taught my heart to fear and grace my fears relieved down if you think of grace that mean the first thing that it does in your heart is an actual fray. Why is like the light of God becomes into a dark, dank room for the first time. The first thing that'll happen is you start to see everything that's messed up.

You see before you can clean it up.

You gotta see what tore it out and then you can come face-to-face with the brokenness and then God can begin the healing. But until you begin to open your eyes to it until grace teaches your heart to fear, you'll never have your fears relieved to the psalmist goes on. The first time the light of God is coming into you. Is it day and night you feel like your hand is heavy on me in your shrink is right up psalmist goes on verse five. So, I acknowledge my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity. I said I will confess my transgressions to the Lord and then you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah stop and think closely that again is telling us begin to tell us how to be happy to give us five ways here. Number one to find happiness. He said you had to be honest about your sin.

Yet, to be honest about your sin.

I didn't cover my sin as a clear reference back to the Garden of Eden because that's what they had done the guard to be made. It the first thing that God did when he came to them was. He called them out from hiding, he made them uncover themselves and after they come out from hiding and uncovered themselves. It was then that he dealt with their sin, and he did that by killing an animal and making them coverings from the animal skin giving them a picture of how he would deal with their sin in the future. In order for God to cover their sin.

You see, they had a first uncovered. That's an important lesson about your side encourage you to write that down cover your sin and God will expose it. Exposure, Senegal covered cover your synagogue will expose exposing gotta cover it, which is closely related to number two. Define happiness you must own your sin, you know your sin four times in verse five he uses the word my my sin, my iniquity, my transgressions, the first thing we typically do after our sin is exposed and we can't hide it anymore. What will we start doing we start justifying it after the first in the Garden of Eden. After God brings out and out from hiding in so that I want to be done and said well the one you gave me. She made me do this in one sentence.

He blamed two people. He blamed the woman, and he blamed God for giving him the woman you see the original blame shift or not, was that look like for us in our lives.

It shows up in statements like this. Well, the reason I like this is because of this terrible situation I'm in I been treated badly that justifies my bad actions. Rod never had the privileges that other people had I worked hard and I deserve more than I be given so that justifies me take a little bit of rear the side or not. My wife is not responsive to me sexually or my husband does not honor me into that justifies me looking outside for Burford for some fulfillment for or what I'm doing is really not that bad. You know, especially compared other people were compared to how much good. I've done throughout my life I made enough deposits in the righteousness bank account.

I can afford few withdrawals. David is saying you will never be happy that way.

David's not doing any of that. He's like yes other people send against me, but I made my own choices in how I responded it was not the woman God gave to me is not the circumstances you put me in. I what just hang out with the wrong crowd about the reason I hung out with the wrong crowd because I was the wrong crowd. There was a white child knows wrong crowd.

I chose be friends with wrong crowd because I felt more comfortable and proud that I did in the right crowd, which is why I'm as guilty as the blame as they are. I gotta quit blaming everybody.

My choices are my responsibility.

In the words of Led Zeppelin, ain't nobody fall but non-Led Zeppelin fans are you own your sin, you know you have some I apologize to you by saying I'm sorry that I did this, but you and begins to lay off in all the things you've done wrong and really, you realize that what they're giving you is not an apology with her giving you as a justification for Chuck is down God's forgiveness begins where blame shifting ends God's forgiveness begins where blame shifting ends and you gotta take off all the other justification you lay it all down in order for you to find that happiness and forgiveness. I got a friend he's about my age and has a son about my son's age 3, four years old. This unit is wife asked him to give us on a bath and and dispute kids. Also the age. Like my Sunday like to put on any number of you know outfits of uniforms around the house Superman/whatever. So he's got him his his kids favor one time was a short outfit you watch the movie Jaws or pride in what is to what jaws but you and your psyche like sharks. Please assign to get a bath and so so sort of hung about with the short outfit on another unit meeting at about the short outfit on it and I like short outfit I want to go on assuming a lot of the short outfit son you can't get clean if you got the short outfit on dead sharks like water and sharks swimming waters on keeping this thing on his death@if you don't get naked. You'll never get clean now that's what I would say to you this weekend, spiritually speaking, you eventually get naked, spiritually speaking at night. I need you to lay off these garments of justification lay off these stories of all the things that you thought justify your sin, to lay out the garments of Heidi and you need to exposure sand and own your sin because that's where forgiveness begins. Number three to find happiness. You must learn to hate your sin and not just its consequences did not happen as you learn to hate your sin and not just consequences. The word used for confess in the Septuagint, which was the Greek translation of the Old Testament you during the time of Jesus. The word used for confess implies something beyond what our English word confess means confess in Greek means that you see things from the perspective of the one that you wrong. Not only are you admitting that you done wrong.

You are changing your perspective to the perspective of the person that you wrong. You see, in English, you can confess something and not really feel any differently about it. You just admit that you did that the classic expression of this is if I've offended you, then I'm sorry. You know as well as I do, that means I'm really sorry for what I did. I'm sorry that you're upset about it. That's not repentance that is a cheap, selfish attempt at peacemaking to not only describe about marriage right now yeah I get that.

My wife and I do this all the time I got you almost cheap will not let me say this, are I'm sorry that you're upset about that.

That means I don't really differently about it and saw that you had an issue with the mess from your is you know mine right confess in this Psalm means more than that. It means now.I see things from your perspective in confessing.

I have knowledge of what I've done is wrong. Many people confess their sin and turn from it because the consequences get painful. They get caught there embarrassed. They pay a penalty. Life becomes painful. Their attitude toward the sin itself still has not changed their just uncomfortable with the consequences that came from that. That's not real confession, either you see the imagery in verse nine look at numbers nine. Don't be like the mule without understanding which must be curved with bit and bridle, or it will not stay near you. When a mule consents to go with you. It's not because the mule loves you it's not because he just wants to be where you are. It's not because he's consenting to your superior wisdom. It's because the bit in its mouth that your polling is painful and he wants to avoid that pain and the psalmist to say. Don't be like that with God because God is not simply looking for people to obey like mules.

He wants people to obey from their hearts. God is not just after obedience.

You see, he was after obedience. He would created robots.

These after a whole new kind of obedience and obedience that grows out of desire and obedience that seeks righteousness is a craze righteousness and obedience that seeks to be near God loves God a lot of people avoid sin, avoid sin, because they are afraid of what others might think about them if they got caught. That's not genuine repentance either digital hate to send you just don't want to be thought of badly by others. Hey, here's a question for you again. I just cannot loosen your mind a little bit if I could call your name right now and on the screen behind you begin to list out your sins of just last week and just display them. Just the thought of that would mortify you and then you would change and you will be like I'm not doing that anymore. Not clean.

The maximum turnover new leaf and I don't doubt that a single one of you in here that would not work on it. We can really do that yet. Just about everyone of you in here knows that God knows everything to the idea that God knows it all is not a sufficient deterrent for you to change, but the idea of other people knowing about it is a deterrent changed because of that show you that other people's opinions have much weightier place in your heart and God does doesn't it show you that the reason you don't sin has little to do with a lack of love for God or did that have to do with a hatred for sin. It has to do with the fact that you just don't want to be embarrassed in your attitude, your heart attitude toward the sin itself has not changed.

You have not really confessed number four to find happiness.

You must actually change direction did not happen as you get out you change direction Uganda versus 10, 11, you'll see the psalmist is changed he's talking about a new trust in God is talking about a new joy he hasn't got a new surrender in God where there has been no change. There's been no real confession to see you guys now listen when there is no change with the confession that confession wearies God. So you just enough distorted perverted church culture refill. I got you done something wrong but you go to church and to make it out to God despite being here right at that wearies God and he will. Every year this time we got students I know of students you get drunk on Saturday night and it show up on Sunday morning with a hangover while you're sitting here you like. I hate Sundays. I feel so guilty and God in heaven is suitable and I hate Sundays to which you are you good to go to church on Saturday night and not get plastered in info good on Sunday morning noises. I hate Sundays because you honor me with their lives by your hearts are far from me, but you are always welcome here, regardless of what last night was you always are, but I need you to understand what God wants is not your attendance. What he wants in jewelry and don't be perfect every time he law which will be more than night and got to God, challenging message from Pastor Jeannie Greer and Senate life.

If you'd like to listen again or catch up on previous messages in our study of Psalms all available free of charge@jeanniegreer.com Jeannie titled this series question everything, because it's clearing with some of the most pressing questions that every person struggles with some point or another. These are really important issues sent to you in your study deeper like to get your copy of a premium, but my Pastor Jamie titled honest questions quick answers takes about 20 theological, ethical, and leadership. Questions and answers. Each of them quickly and succinctly. Sort of a reference but to give you some language to understand and discuss questions like, should Christians feel satisfied in their jobs and how should Christians engage in politics. We like to get you a copy of this book today and you're welcome to request it. When you donate to support this ministry. The suggested level is $25 or more. You can also request about when you join the growing team monthly gospel partners gospel partners commit to a regular monthly gift to the ministry really easy to sign out by calling eight 675-5228 66335 or go to my website@jeanniegreer.com lying on the website. Be sure to sign up for our email ministry and date information about new resources for getting the latest blog post limited straight to your inbox. Sign up when you go to Jeannie Greer.com I'm only benefits glad you're with us today safe and enjoyable holiday celebrating with friends and family and be sure to attend and will continue to study and every consonant like Katie