Family Conflict Part 1

Race is looking to Jesus found her renters in the race of life will not always have a clear track when clouds come we need to know what to do. Today we begin a series to help us grow through conflict, Moody Church in Chicago. This is running to win with Dr. Erwin looser whose clear teaching helps us make it across the finish line vasculature are embarking on a long journey with us on running to win and you give us an overview of the teaching will be hearing what they were going to be talking about the life of David. I'm going to be more honest than I would have to be I want to admit the fact that whenever I think of David. Somehow in my soul. I am conflicted. And the reason for that is, here's a man after God's own heart who gave us most of our Psalms and yet at the same time he was flawed in many different ways. We of course will be talking about his sin with Bathsheba, the killing of her husband, but more than that. David actually was not a very good father is life does not end as well as we might've hoped it would. There was rebellion within the family. The whole bit.

What is it that made David so special a man who still blesses us.

It's because in the midst of all of that failure and conflict. He was always turning to God with his whole heart. That's why we love the Psalms, so we're going to begin a series entitled growing through conflict. It's really the life of David will be talking about his conflict within the family as a matter fact were beginning there today is conflict with the giant, which of course we all know about, but also his conflict with Saul. There's so many lessons that we have to learn why is it that God allowed Saul to pursue David in the wilderness of Judea for 10 full years.

What was God's purpose.

What is God's purpose in our lives for conflict. I'm so glad that were going to have the opportunity of exploring David's life. I think in the process were going to be growing were going to be understanding the grace of God, even in the midst of failure, even in the midst of conflict, so let's listen carefully as we begin this series of messages titled growing through conflict, did you know that it is practically impossible to predict whom God is going to greatly use you look at a teenager. You look at a child in the nursery and then you see them grow up and you see that they have gifts and abilities and you say to yourself I know that they are gifted in a certain way, but you might not have any idea as to what God might choose to do through them might be far greater than their abilities. Whatever let on all that you need to do to be convinced us to ask the shepherd boy David who later became Israel's most famous king. This is the beginning of a series of messages on the life of David and what an interesting life. It is that he led in a moment I'm going to ask you to turn to for Samuel chapter 16. In fact, you can turn there if you wish, but I do need to remind you. First of all, that there are usually two or three ways in which we evaluate people. One way is there appearance. James Dobson says that appearance is the old coin of human worth.

Those of you who are good looking those of you who are striking in your appearance. You have so many advantages over the rest of us is unbelievable.

You probably you probably got all of the breaks in life. People gave you the benefit of the doubt fact I was reading that they were trying to convict someone of some very terrible crimes and the jury took one look at this young American boy drop dead good looking and they said there's no way in the world. He could've done it and they exonerated him despite the evidence they had been average looking, he probably would have been convicted of the crime, even if the evidence might not of been that strong. All has to do with appearance. Young women today. Appearance is very important because we live in an age when beauty is so exaggerated and overemphasized, and often times it turns out to be a curse though because they are pursued by young men.

They are often misused because of their beauty. I said that on a college campus. Once I said you know that you may think that beauty is a a something favorable I said, but but it is actually a curse.

I heard later that a young woman went into her room and prayed.

Oh called to smite me with this curse and may I never recover beauty appealing personality looks very important.

The silver coin of human worth is intelligence.

You can get by looking very ordinary as long as your whiz kid.

As long as you're good at computers as long as you can play the trombone like nobody else can play it in music. As long as you have some gift that sets you apart.

You're very fortunate, because then you may get the recognition you may get that sense of acceptance that you crave. But if you lack that. And if you are brought up in a home where there was favoritism and every home.

I think has favoritism. Every home. Even those of us who tried to be so incredibly fair that when you pour juice in glasses you measure, it exactly.

Even those of us who wanted to be fair, we have our favorite children and those who aren't our favorites. They know what they feel on blast they feel on blast. I want you to know today that that's who I think David was. I believe that David was the unblessed child in Jesse's family and it is because of that he experienced some of the highs and lows. He had some emotional difficulties.

I don't think he ever really got over David was always on a roller coaster.

Some days very enthusiastic sometimes even within the same Psalm he would go from a time of exhilaration and praise to the depths. Usually it was the other way around.

He we spent a lot of time in the pit of depression and in the midst of all of this.

He was always looking for God were going to say that David was a very, very human individual. Unfortunately, many of us were in the ministry, we have painted him to the extraordinary way to put them in a glass case. We've said that his life is been almost perfect except for the fact that he committed adultery and murder, but that isn't true. David had so many failures. One day he joined the Philistine army and allows the spit to run down his beard and he pretends he's insane.

This isn't very kingly, but I want you to know today that that's why we love David. It is because he is human and because of all of his emotional turbulence. He kept pursuing God kept pursuing God. Sometimes we look at a life like David and we say what you know God used demands spite of his weaknesses.

I would like to change that and say God used him because of his weaknesses, and so we take our Bibles and we turn to first Samuel chapter 16, where he was cold out of the sheep fold where he was a shepherd and has the responsibility now of carrying the burden of knowing that he is a king in waiting a king in waiting for Samuel chapter 16 now the Lord said to Samuel, how long will you grieve over soul since I have rejected him from being king over Israel. Fill your horn with oil and go, what I will send you to just see the Bethel you might, for I have selected a king for myself among his son Samuel said, how can I go when Saul hears of it, they will kill me Lord said take a heifer with you and say I have come to sacrifice to the Lord and invite Jesse and his sons to the sacrifice and I will show you what I will do what I will anoint the one whom I have chosen for myself. Some people read the text and they Sable was Samuel being dishonest God says that you're going to get into trouble because Saul at this time. Of course, was paranoid already and so Samuel says I don't even want to be known as having gone to Bethlehem to try to find a king, and God says will then take a heifer with you and say that you're going offer a sacrifice that dishonest wasn't dishonest because he did offer a sacrifice. He did bring I have for Andy and he did offer it as a far as the real purpose for his mission that was in souls business. There is such a thing as taking the truth and concealing it from those who have no business knowing the truth. If you can do so without prevarication about why I have a friend who is so strict that he believes that no home should ever have an electronic timer because the purpose of the timer is to have the lights on at a certain time during the evening to give the false impression that you're at home when you aren't. My belief is that if some thief wants to think that I'm there because even though I'm not because the light is burning.

That's his problem. That's not mine that's not my.

And so God here says you conceal the truth. What you do is you. You go and you say that you're going to offer a heifer and you do offer that heifer so you're speaking truthfully and then you invite Jesse's sons and I will show you who is going to be the next King. So Jesse's sons come to Bethlehem. Verse five the congregation gathers there because remember, Samuel was acting as a circuit judge and everyone was afraid they thought that they were perhaps in trouble and end so a congregation gathers and he says I'm coming in peace verse five I have come to sacrifice to the Lord. Consecrate yourselves and come with me to the sacrifice. He also consecrated Jesse and his sons and invited them to the sacrifice and now the selection process begins.

Then it came about when they entered, he looked at a line Ahab and thought surely the Lord's anointed is before him. Their seven sons here Aiden all one has not yet shown up for this interview.

But the first one was all I had the firstborn and he walks before Samuel, and Samuel has no resume, no references, no interviews that he can conduct all that he's doing is looking at his appearance, which is really all that Samuel could do under the conditions and ally had walks before him, undoubtedly with a very pronounced step and with perhaps a big club and a huge spear, and he looks very very kingly and of course Samuel says, surely this is the Lord's anointed. You know the older I get, the less I'm able to trust my ability to judge people because oftentimes you think that a person is going to be a certain way and then you get to know them and you discover that they have weaknesses and flaws and it's disappointing because you didn't see that at the beginning and so here you have Samuel who's thinking that he's going to do God's will, and says that this is the anointed of the Lord.

It would also make sense because ally was the firstborn you firstborn's. I take pity on you a competitive self-confidence, strong-willed, suspicious, oftentimes driven, trying to prove something laying down your life in your vocation so that somebody rises up and says you haven't made an you're a self-made man. You know those are some of the weaknesses of firstborn's but they have tremendous strength. Most of the presidents of the United States were firstborn's most college presidents are firstborn's firstborn's make excellent leaders because of their strength and their driven us, but in this instance the Lord says no verse seven the Lord said to Samuel do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him out. I'm sure that Samuel was wise enough not to convey what he heard from the Lord. It was probably something internal and not external but ally of knows that he is rejected.

He's not going to be the one for whom Samuel has come in a search. Well, what about a been a dab verse eight Jesse called a been a dab and made him pass before Samuel and he says that neither has the Lord chosen this one second. Bourns usually much more compliant.

But God didn't want him either. And then apparently the third born Schama.

He passes by. Third, Bourns usually very compliant and there in the middle oftentimes struggling with their sense of identity. But he says neither has the Lord chosen this one and all seven sons pass by Samuel and each one is rejected of the Lord and Samuel understandably is confused, confused, God told him Samuel in the sons of Jesse, one of his sons is going to be anointed for the next King seven sons show up after Jesse is told what this is all about any can recruit all of his sons and not how one of them is selected by God for this very important so he says, are these older children verse 11 that he said well, there remains, yet the youngest. This is the first hint that we have the David is not among the blessed children is not among the blessed David struggled. Because of this, you'll notice it says he is the youngest. Behold, he is tending the sheep. Samuel said to Jesse, send them and bring them for we will not sit down until he comes here so he sent and brought a man and he was ready with a beautiful eyes and handsome appearance, but apparently not very kingly and the Lord said, arise, anointed him and Samuel took the oil and anointed him in the midst of his brothers and the spirit of God came mightily upon David from that day forward, and Samuel arose and went to Rhema and that's the story well. How does his family treat him now that he is blessed. Did you notice what the text says in verse 13 Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the midst of his brothers in the midst of his brothers. How did they accept the exaltation of their youngest brother. Well, can you imagine first of all what that ceremony must've been like. Here is the run to the family. Here is the one who is, as we shall see, really not well accepted by his brothers nor his father and that he's the one who is brought and he's the one who receives the honor we can understand how he was treated several ways.

First of all, he was sent back to hurting the sheep. Later on, he becomes Saul's armor bearer and he does some music for Saul because an evil spirit. Verse 14 from the Lord departs from Saul and later on we shall have opportunity to discuss that text in detail as we shall see what David did when this spirit would seize the king and he became more paranoid and how the Lord used the playing of a harp in order to give Saul some rest and his spirit because Saul was struggling with with this demon and a few others to because of some issues in his heart that he's not willing to take care of, but David always runs from taking care of the sheep to Saul's court and back again because if there is going to be any kingly pronouncements. If there is going to be any kingly honor. He certainly is not going to experience it from his own family. You want to know what his brothers thought of them.

Let's fast-forward it to four years later and look at chapter 17 verse 2817 verse 28 this is you know the story of Goliath, as we shall be seeing in the next message but David is running back and forth, and he's taking care of the sheep and the says in verse 26 he says to the men were standing by him. What will be done for the man who kills this Philistine and takes away the reproach from Israel for who is this uncircumcised Philistine, that he should taunt the armies of the living God and the people answered him in accord with his word, saying, thus it will be done for the man who kills him. Now notice verse 28 of chapter 17. Here it is a lie of his oldest brother heard when he spoke to the man and ally of his anger burned against David and he says why have you come down and with whomever you left those few sheep in the wilderness. I know your insolence and the wickedness of your heart, you have come down in order to see the battle only if you are somewhere later in the birth order and your family. You know the power of an angry older brother and you know the hurt of these words and their pain and David response simply in verse 29 it says what I done now was an adjuster question. You can see here alive's response to him. I want to venture to say that a lie who now passes off the scene and we never hear from him again in all of Scripture at the end is the end of alive, I venture to believe that a lie had faced a tremendously important decision that day.

The David was anointed by Samuel.

He did one of two things. Either he decided to repent and submit to God and say, God, you rejected me from being king, but that's fine. I'm willing to serve you in whatever capacity you want all that I ask is that in my remaining days I be able to belong to you and that in itself is a great privilege here I am due, as seems good in your sight either did that or he died bitter, angry, frustrated, unfulfilled, resentful man.

He did one of those two. And it looks in chapters 17. Is this was the latter was the latter's very difficult sometimes very difficult for those of not been broken by God to accept success in the lives of others, particularly among their own family but the family is sometimes the last to recognize that there is greatness in their midst. The family is the last to recognize that someone is been on her door, or that someone is worthy of honor because the family oftentimes with its own securities its own dysfunctional relationships. EA finds itself unable to support those whom God is greatly blessing because of resentment and anger, and the totem pole and in all of the other things and what these brothers wanted to do.

I believe this to see David's crown taken and crushed into the dirt once for all. But isn't it refreshing to look at verse seven.

In this by the way is our key text for this message.

Chapter 16 verse seven.

Do not look at his appearance or the height of his stature, because I rejected him for God. This sees not as man. God sees not as man sees for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks upon the heart and hears David the on blessed child the unblessed child.

If you read Gary Smalley's book the blessing you know that there are those within the family who sense that they are not blessed because they've never known the real warmth of unconditional acceptance here in the midst of this, God is saying a man looks on the outward appearance. Parents judge their children.

One way or another. But God looks upon the heart ask you a question you feel except by your parents did you feel accepted by your parents. Just the other day I was counseling a young man who is very bitter toward his father nephew talk to the father.

He says that he loves his son. He cannot understand the kind of deep hurt that his son is experiencing. Families have conflict David experience that. And yet in the midst of all of that conflict. You know he's the man that we talk most about.

Ask the average Christian the name of some of David's brothers. They would not be able to give you any names but we all remember David. That's why I've written a book entitled, growing true conflict lessons from the life of David. This book takes us through his life shows us how conflict developed him shows us how he continually dependent upon God in the midst of his conflict in the midst of his hurt in the midst of his rejection and pain and also shows God's grace in the midst of David's failures. I think that this book is going to be a tremendous blessing to you where making it available for a gift of any amount, and I want to thank you in advance for supporting the ministry of running to win many of you have heard me say several times that running to win is in four different languages in 20 different countries. All because of people like you for your gift of any amount you can ask for. Growing true conflict lessons from the life of David. I hope that you have a pencil handy. Here's how you can do that you can go to RTW offeror.com that's RTW offeror.com. Of course, RTW offeror is all one word or if you prefer you can call us at 1-888-218-9337. Growing true conflict so matter-of-fact that's the only way we grow and David's life illustrates that beautifully go to RTW offeror.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337 and invite your friends to join you as we continue this series of messages entitled growing true conflict lessons from the life of David. You can write to us running to win 1635 N. LaSalle Boulevard Chicago, IL 60614 Pastor Erwin lutes has brought part one of family conflict. The first message in a series on growing through conflict journey through the life of King David. Next time we learn more about King David's early life is marked by conflict. Plan to join us. This is Dave McAllister running to win is sponsored by the Moody Church