Miles Apart In The Same House Part 2

The reason for us to Jesus phone number for you. Trust paradise. Aside when they disobeyed God like them. We manipulate each other to meet our own needs, not realizing that meeting our mates needs is the real change in marital happiness, the Moody Church in Chicago this morning with Dr. Erwin will serve as clear thinking helps us make it across the finish line. Today your addressing rejection crucial point in time when one may for the other feels it's really over. That's right, Dave, and of course as a pastor. I've always said that it's never really if both are committed to the marriage. There is always hope.

But there's a lot of difficult marriages out there in this message is preached with a heavy heart, and with the intention of helping people to understand that the difficulties of marriage don't necessarily dictate divorce. I know that there are many marriages that are in trouble and many of those who are listening to these messages are in great difficulty and don't know where to turn. My intention is to help them to help them to navigate all of the experiences that are negative, but also to give them hope. I believe that the gospel does change people and you know people are blessed as a result of the ministry of running to win. As we frequently say we are here to help them all the way to the finish line and you my friend have a part in that. Would you consider becoming an endurance partner endurance partners are those who stand with us regularly with their prayers and their gifts you want to know more. Here's what you do go to RTW offer.com that's RTW offer.com. Click on the endurance partner button or if you prefer, call us at 1-888-218-9337 people will thank you in heaven for helping us, even as running to win continues to minister to their needs and now we go to the pulpit of Moody church where we continue our discussion of marriage talking frankly about some of the difficulties that some marriages experience. You know, if you feel rejected all that you can do is to retreat into the silence of your shame and your grief and your anger and you can leave in that terrible terrible private world. That's all you can do or if you really feel rejected.

What you can do is what many people do and that is make it impossible for other people to accept them.

You've met rejected people and so have I and what they have done to us is they have made demands of us that nobody could ever possibly keep because what they are trying to do is to prove that nobody will love them that everybody will reject them and the minute somebody shows them love they will begin to make demand that will inevitably lead to failure. This is absolutely necessary in the mind of a rejected person and that's why rejected. People sometimes in marriages are so incredibly hard to live with because because they are making demands of their partner that no partner could possibly meet.

They are to prove that nobody really loves them and they will make it is hard on you as they possibly can to prove their point. Some of your struggling with homosexuality and you've That hidden because you say you know if I expose that. Think of the rejection that I would receive.

I understand what you're saying but I also want you to know that there is no such thing as real healing until you share with at least one other human being who can be a part of the solution who you really are because there is no prison that is as terrible as that prison called the secrecy that says there's a part of my life out here that I will not share like that man I told you about several years ago to conference was raining outside and he said I want to take a walk with you and so we walked together he said you don't know who I am your from another city. You're leaving town tomorrow, but he said I spent $400 a month on pornography. Help me see there there is there is no prison in Illinois or any other part of the world that is as wretched. That is as debilitating as that prison that says I will keep my life to myself and not share my need. Now what do Adam and Eve do once God lifts the cover well the first thing of course, most people do is live but how are you gonna lie to God is not worth it because he knows it. He knows the truth. So this is what happens verse 11 and God said, who told you that you were naked.

Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat of the man could've answered in three simple words yes I did expected that from Adam. But you know he didn't.

He said, and watch my hands now, Lord, the woman whom thou asked me thou gave us me, she took of the tree then what's a guy supposed to do. I want you to notice the first of all, he blamed God.

He said I was even awake when this woman was made so you can't blame me for her. That's number one and number two it is she that took of the tree. It's this we will woman whom you created. While I want you to notice that Adam blamed his wife, even though there wasn't a chance in the world that he had married the wrong woman.

This is everlasting proof if proof is needed that the best of marriages have problems this idea that if you meet the right one that you're going to go through life and be a wonderful and happy and never have any disagreements well all that I can tell you is that Rebecca's marriage to me has not been nearly that boring. I want you to know also that we are happier than I think we've ever been in our married life is just great. But you know we had some difficult years. There's no such thing as as everybody just getting along so so but isn't this interesting. Adam and Eve want to pass the buck you will. Rogers says there was the passing of the buffalo.

And then there was the passing of the buck. Well, notice this now God says all okay.

It's the woman's fault so he says in verse 13, the Lord God said to the woman, what is this you have done woman said well I was tempted and I ate all no no no no no, the serpent deceived me, and I ate the man blamed the woman. The woman blamed the serpent and the serpent didn't have a leg to stand on and the whole blame game that we know so much about today all began here. The failure to take responsibility for your reactions and for your actions and I want you to know today that no matter how much responsibility your parents may have had, and it may be considerable. Ultimately, there does come a time when we all must take responsibility for our own reactions and when we begin to do that, God begins to give us help.

Now let me ask you something. What does God do in this situation.

Does he say well you know you guys blew it.

I put you together.

You disobeyed me that's it. What you need to do is to wait 2000 years until they have talkshows and then go on one of them and spell out your guts and try to get some help.

Well, I don't object to talkshows where there is a lot of sharing some of that today is good because people are beginning to realize that it is in the talk about dysfunctional past experiences.

But you know God goes way beyond that.

I want you to know today that God never leaves people on their own and says you've messed it up. Now let me out of it. Do the best you can know verse 15 I will put enmity between you and the woman in between your seed and her seed, he shall bruise you on the head and you shall bruise him on the this is the first prediction of the coming of Christ. God says that I'm going to put hostility between you serpent represents the devil and the woman and her seed is going to win a battle and the woman's seed turns out to be Jesus Christ and and Satan is going to do his best to conquer Christ but all that he will be able to do is to nip Christ healed, whereas Christ the seed of the woman is going to crash the serpent's head in the dust so Christ is saying that somebody is going to come who is the seed of the woman who's gonna put Satan in his place and bring redemption to at least a part of humanity. And then, as if that isn't enough, it says in verse 21 and the Lord God made to Garman subs skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them. What he said to them is you don't need your fig leaves. What you need is some garments of skin and if these were garments of skin.

Obviously, God must have killed some animals to make these close spread of any and Bible commentators for years have seen in this the pre-figure mint of the coming of Jesus Christ. Because animals were slain in the Old Testament, all pointing to the coming of our Redeemer who would die on the cross and then when Jesus died, he became the Lamb of God which takes away the sins of the world. Now listen to me carefully, God is saying, I will cover your shame, I will cover your shame.

It says in the book of Revelation to the church at Laodicea, the Lord is said pieces come by of me and I shall give to you white clothing so that the shame of your nakedness might not appear those of you who are living today in that prison shame God can cover you come now, let us reason together, says the Lord. Though your sins be as scarlet, and though there are those ugly sores. I will send a snowfall and you'll be covered so that your shame will be put away.

It says in Psalm 25 they that wait for the shall not be ashamed. There's a covering for your shame and also because your shame is covered. That's actually also the answer to your fear. Despite our need and despite our helplessness, we can come to God as we are. Knowing that there is a Redeemer to cleanse us and to forgive us and give us a standing before God that can never be earned, but is ours through his matchless wondrous grace and when we do that we begin to have the security to be able to communicate because now we know that we are accepted by God were forgiven by God, we can let others know who we are and take that risk without fearing the rejection and without the pain of the shame overwhelming us so that we cannot only be loved by God, but feel loved, because the guilt is gone. The shame is gone. The fear is gone. Now we can begin to love each other there. Some of you who are listening to this message were single and you had some terrible experiences in your relationships.

The minute someone has begun to love you and that there is a relationship that has been developed.

You immediately back away because you fear letting someone know who you really are and all of your relationships have to be kept at a distance you cannot you cannot let someone into your world.

I urge you today receive the cleansing of Christ receive the covering for your shame and let someone know who you really are there some of you who are married in your communication lines are incredibly frozen every month. More hostility, more anger, more shame is stacked on the walls that you have built around you.

You have dug those foundations. Yes, you have put up barricades you have cemented your life in you have folded your arm. You have said no on is ever going to get inside my world and that's why your marriage is in such bad shape because no one can love you, unless they know you. Let me tell you a true story.

The names are changed, but the story is totally true will say that the man's name was Tim and the woman's name was and both accepted Christ as Savior brought up in a fine evangelical church became Christians in their teenage years and married but became disillusioned with Christianity look at the promises of Jesus you know if you come to me will never hunger. If you believe in will never thirst. They were hungry and they were thirsting and they were looking at the promises and they asked their friends and they received sympathy but no real help, so they just decided to drop out of church.

Christianity does not work and began to watch soap operas. They became a part of her day there at home that she was bored with a husband that lacked excitement as she began to watch those soap operas she realized that there was a part of her life that she thought had been missing brought up in a fine Christian home, why there was a whole life out there in the world that she had never experienced the life of excitement the life of the possibility of a new partner and so she had an affair. Her husband would have left her but pride kept him at home because they were known in the community and he just simply didn't want to walk out on her, though she had this relationship when it seemed as if their marriage could not take a single strain that would break it totally and discovered that she was pregnant. The problem was that it was not a moment of rejoicing because she was unsure as to whether her husband was the father of the child. They decided to attend a meeting where some couples had gotten right with God. Some worldly couples actually so yielded themselves to Christ that their lives were full of joy. They were communicating and asked this couple shared their need to get this now. The sharing of the need is so important because they had to break out of that wall of secrecy and anger and hostility in unforgiveness that they were living at as they broke out of that and they shared and needed to these couples, they said we need prayer. All the couples got on their knees and prayed for this couple that had that great need and during the prayer Tim took his wife's hand and squeezed it and said I forgive you and it was those words that suddenly took all of that hostility and guilt and shame and anger and it penetrated those walls that she had so carefully nurtured and built in that night when Tim and Ann got home they did something they should have done early on in their marriage.

They talked all night amid cheers. They share to their expectations. They shared what they liked about one another. What they didn't like all the disappointments that their marriage should average had brought, but in the midst of it. They were communicating.

Finally, for the first time really communicating and they ended that long marathon talk in prayer. Six years after that experience when their little daughter was six I wrote up there story that occurred in a book I wrote many many years ago and they told me that during that six year.

First of all, the little girl that was born to them did turn out to be their child. But secondly they said that during that six year. They could not remember having one serious argument of any kind. Why because they said to Jesus Christ is really the best marriage counselor why because in the process of communication in the process of allowing one another. Finally, to enter into each other's world of the Bible says there were two or three are gathered together for the purpose of reconciliation.

That's the context. Christ said I am there to make sure it happens, you will never sense the presence of Christ more than when you honestly and openly communicate you save it wasn't to painful. All we yes believe it is painful.

It's as painful as slicing an ugly, sore, and getting the press out so that it can heal.

That's how painful it is, but without it, it can't happen.

Some of you in your marriage you will never be healed unless you talk no matter how much you cry and tears are important no matter the pain. Some of you are hiding from one another.

You're hiding from God, and I say to you today in the name of Christ in God's name get found get found your playing hide and seek God knows where you are. It's time that somebody else also knew exactly where you are because without communication there cannot be love and God is willing to close your shame set you free, so that finally the great stone face can begin to talk. Let's close now. Father, I have spoken only words unless the blessed Holy Spirit who is been poured out to his people. Does the work.

The message falls on deaf ears. I cannot penetrate the barriers. I cannot get behind the walls. The words that I speak full dead to the person who says no one will ever find out who I am. But Lord you are the God of the heart. I have done the possible but the impossible is holy and totally up to you. I pray for singles who are here today history of smashed and painful relationships. Unable to communicate. I pray for couples that are here today. Unable to really really talk about. Would you come to us sinners who need you so desperately. And would you heal us when you wound us and then let us heal and do the work that you need to do for your glory in Jesus name.

One) Pastor Luther and I hope that you understand that this series of messages was preached with conviction, but also the heavy heart. I'm well aware that there are many marriages that are in trouble.

If you have benefited from this series of messages. Let me ask you a question.

Do you know some people in your inner circle who need to hear these messages. If you do for a gift of any amount.

These messages can be yours. Now I need to say that today is the last day that we are making these resources available to you so here's what you can do. Go to RTW offer.com that's RTW offer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337 I'm going to be giving you that contact information again but I need to say it is so critical for us to listen carefully and at the same time be given hope even for marriages that are in such great difficulty. The title of this series is till death do us part. As I've mentioned for any amount. This series can be yours. Here's what you do go to RTW offer.com RTW offer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337. Perhaps you have benefited from this series of messages but you also know of those who would also benefit from it. Today is the last day, we are making this offer to help you make it all the way to the finish line. RTW offer.com or call us at 1-888-218-9337 you can write to us running to win 1635 N. LaSalle Boulevard Chicago, IL 60614.

Everywhere you look, the Christian faith is under attack. Many ask God really in charge.

Next time when Luther begins a series from the Psalms that tells what happens when God shows himself will find that despite all we see God is still in control. Thanks for listening.

This is Dave McAllister running to when you sponsor moody teacher