Breaking Through Life's Biggest Barriers - How to Overcome Loneliness and Isolation, Part 2

There is a place God created where you can experience that love and connection like nowhere else on earth. It's a place where loneliness is welcome and all relationships.

It's a community where people can be reconnected to their family sound like a place you might want to go stick around and give you directions for joining us for this Thursday edition of living only with your bedroom serves as our Bible teacher on this daily international discipleship program nature continues a series working through life's biggest just before we get started, let me encourage you to try using trips notes containers outline Scripture references much more will help you remember what you can be better equipped to share what you're learning LivingontheEdge.org click listen now and it's a quick download from their Dallas, Georgia for part two of his message how to overcome loneliness and isolation. Look at first John what you see this relationship between being in relationship with God and therefore in relationship with other believers.

By the way, that's the theme of the book of first John the apostle writes that this is from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, speaking of Christ which we have looked at in our hands have touched these things is real. This we proclaim concerning the word of life. The life appeared Jesus we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life which was with the father, and is paired us the gospel great get the next two verses we proclaim to you that we have seen, and we have heard is the purpose clause so you also may have fellowship with us.

I was expecting to say what so you can have fellowship with so you proclaimed it when we share the gospel with so people can have fellowship with us. Our fellowship is with the father and with his son Christ Jesus.

We write this to make our joy complete.

Once you related to God. You are now organically related to other believers all over the world and have you pick this up yet. Have you figured this out about life that joy is not a target or thing that you can try to achieve with that joy is a byproduct of relationships. You know you you want to write that down and if you learn that it will transform how you live life to there's a lot of people that think success will bring them joy in a successful once empty, anything getting something earning something, achieving something being something dressing a certain way. Having a certain house certain car that they think will bring them joy. What happens like the old cat chases tail you bite into it, only to find out it certainly wasn't what you expected. See joy as a byproduct of relationships with one another and with God so well resolve that heavenly article educate. You don't have to be lonely.

God cares right he's all-knowing, all powerful.

He loves you. Jesus understand your loneliness. So if you talk to him at any time. I mean his his heart break with your heart. He invites you into a relationship. If you haven't, and finally, once you're in relationship with him. You belong to one another.

So since you belong everything's great right that's were done pretty early and were quite like that does to the fact the matter is there's a lot of us that belong were born again we know Christ but your experience in the body of Christ is like you live your life feeling like there's a plexiglass box around you and your on the outside looking in and in your heart of hearts you don't feel like anyone really cares and you'll feel deeply connected and it may be true of you that you know God, and it may be true of you that you belong you feeling. So let me let me take some time and see if we can discuss and discover how can you experience authentic love and real connection in the body of Christ.

How does that work.

Let me give you a quick picture that might help you at least register intellectually with what I'm talking about many of us have had this problem getting in shape right will be in shape, least some sometimes to Dr. Sagan shape motivates us and other times around Christmas. Someone buys us. You know what is low coupons to go to a gym or to a spar.

Sometimes we get motivated and bought, but whatever it is, whether someone else bought it, you bought it.

You can sign up to go to one of the Aryan gyms are one of the spotless reading by treadmill, put it in one back bedrooms and the moment you sign up for the gym or for the stall while you are problem with getting in shape is solved is all she you need to get in shape and when you go there and talk about nutrition and lifestyle and no even pinch you until your body weight that all that stuff right and obtain which exercises you. Help me with this.

However, if you sign on the dotted line and you are a member of the small or the gym you have positional membership but you never go how in shape. Do you get zippo not flat green dry, high cholesterol, it's the same in the body of Christ.

You can be a positional member you're saying you know Christ you're forgiven here in the family you belong other believers.

A positional member is very different than a practicing member a participating member.

There are very few benefits is like the kid who might live in your house and this isn't hopefully anything happening anywhere is like living in the house and all the funds around the dining room table and people were eating and laughing and having fun and giving high fives and having good few healthy arguments you can live in that house. If you stay in your room all the time you don't get so I believe it is the state of scores of people in this room and all over the world people are positional members. You know they're not practicing members and until you are participating member of the body of Christ. Guess what your lonely are you lonely because God doesn't care no. Are you lonely because Jesus doesn't understand or pay no are you lonely because he has invited you into relationship with him so the problem though. Are you lonely because no one cares. There's no place to long note what you lonely you lonely for two reasons. One, I believe you have a distorted view of the church and to have a distorted view of relationships is on the time remaining. Here is what I wanted I would help you break out of your loneliness and isolation by re-thinking your view of the church and by revising your approach to relationships.

First, rethinking your view of the church.

Many people think of the church as a institution, its buildings, its programs, its structure, it's this idea of them. In fact, when I meet you out at the mall or when I'm running around when you tell me I go to your church. You're telling me that you think churches of them in your we feel feel part.

The church is not institution the church is a community community is where you have involvement sharing relationships in connection see the church is not an event to attend.

I'm going to the theater Saturday night or Sunday morning was due to the church is a place to attend open music school and to present good day. You know I'm going to the church an event, not church. The church is a place to long into family. It's in relationships and until you think how you think about the church and we lonely and their steak dinners spiritually on the table and starving people and make sense to God. Look at the early church. Acts chapter 2. Just listen to it. Just listen to it and you tell me you tell me if this sounds like an institution or an event to come to to scheduling your planner or if this sounds more like life and relationships in all early church. They devoted themselves to the apostles teaching and to fellowship into the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with all, and many wonders and miraculous some miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were to gather and had everything in common point in the sharing relationship involvement selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as they had made any they least knew each other's names and they care about one another rather conference it was any easier for them.

It is for us every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They had large group worship temple courts. They had instruction and celebration him worship in temple courts or on a Saturday night or Sunday morning.

You can't experience all God wants for the church. This is one function, but notice what happens after the temple courts and they did it daily.

Every day they continued me to get in the temple courts. They broke bread they had meals together, share the Lord's supper where in the homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts to cheating.

You mean small groups is in a new method that someone made up to help churches grow you mean meeting at home, sharing meals isn't something that some summer group came up with no it's actually right from the beginning. See, it's real life relationships you worship here. You learn here, but life doesn't take on meaning until you sit down over coffee table where you sit down around the fire at the beach or you go have some fun together and you looking at someone else's eyes and those eyes say you tell me your story. Tell me your struggle tell me where you are frustrated. Let us pray for you about the relationship is not working in your life.

Let's pray for your boss, let's hang in there with your sick kid. Notice what happens when the church operates this way.

Verse 47 there praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people, believers and unbelievers and the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved. Everybody needs somebody that cares about you as you and I know I know but you are don't do relationships well I tried one of those groups or talk about a church. You should've seen the wacko who led the or I shared something one of those groups and then I heard about it from someone else. Two weeks later I've been burned I've been hurt. I've been rejected I've been abandoned. No one really cares about me, no one really want to enter into relationship with me, so I learned to keep acting in a way that makes that true what you're saying. Sounds great ship, and with all these people here when we laugh together. It seems yeah but when they supply that lasts longer walk out the doors. I feel like I'm alone again.

How do you do relationships, we can start to break down these barriers and get connected in the body of Christ.

Suggestion number one.

Realize your need.

As long as it's an option you will do it. It's our pride that makes us thinking. I don't really need other people know you does need to keep lying to yourself.

There's no lone Rangers. The Bible is clear that attachment is essential life is made. Listen life was made for relationships. It can't even be just you and God. He didn't design it.

Realize your need to move toward others know it's great when people move toward you, but for some of us you see we walk in and here's how we all think.

See you look happy you look smiling when everyone gets up and introduces and says hi. I look around the room, and everyone's got together and you're probably in a group. You're probably in a ministry and life's probably going great for you is not for me. What you don't understand is 65 to 70% of all the people you think that a country they're struggling just like you are together they're hurting and they're struggling may need you to walk across and I'll make a phone call extend a hand smile and say how are you doing in using no one's going to redundant means church to have an account, 52 weeks. Once done course you haven't done that to anyone else get a move toward others.

Scary camp any worse aloneness number three be vulnerable. The word vulnerability learnings be open to attack. See, when I meet someone that either looks like they have it all together or projects they have altogether you what I've learned over the years. One I'm too intimidated. I want to get around and to I've been around the block to know the either faking it or their line around then either write you. Are you tracking the people that really meant really got a moment someone shares of hurt the moment someone shares a struggle the moment someone peels a little bit of mask off and lets me know what's going on inside. I'm immediately attracted to you. Why good there like me insecure struggling temptation PROBLEMS and I need help with them and I don't I just feel comfortable. Is it scary before Hon. do it wisely. Open up a little at a time. Make sure how people respond on that with everyone but take some steps forth channel distorted thinking. No one likes you will abandon you to be just like last time, you keep those running in your right, nothing change challenge those for take risks. Step out extend a hand joining group reach out to someone take a risk.

Sit be empathetic identify with others hurt if you can get other centered and listen listen listen, start. I have never found a person who is a great listener doesn't have tons of friends. Who do people love to talk about more than anyone else in the ourselves you realize what great friends you can have a safe where you from when Jimmy children.

What part of the country house at: what's the biggest trouble you have and work with them must be very difficult. How do you manage that you just keep asking questions and listen listen listen. You know what they walk away thinking what a nice guy right and then out of sheer politeness they might try something like it on and talk for 20 minutes. How are you and where you from your thinking this works.

I love it.

Finally, pray, trust God, pray pray pray every time you come to crossroads you think I want take a step for this person, I'm afraid. Afraid I can't do it now say that's right, you can't. I came with you will fail to pray, pray, pray, trust God. How this connecting occur.

The first smile is amazing. Just when you smile at someone to extend a hand hi my name is Ivan Cummins so-and-so three for three minutes.

I want you to talk with someone you don't know you. What we do. Those of us who feel connected. We come here smile. Think everyone's okay and I think great Marty how you doing I know Marty. Hey.

So, how's it going I know soon as we all all we know each other.

We talked each other and all the people were not connected. Walk in walkout walking for three minutes talk anybody you know forth help out the quickest way to get connected his people are desperate for help get you thought about this is all about a chicken hand bulletins and that will help out you need help help out what happens. You forge relationships. The summary to lick loneliness.

You got a ride in the word belong to God deceives these informal steps plus formal strategies will produce a connected community and connected to others in your church. That's the first step to looking loneliness.

It's not about having your name on a roll somewhere. It's about becoming a part of a community where you can experience the joy of giving and receiving love serving in the name of Christ ship will be right back. But if you're just joining us, you're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram this message is part of Troop series called breaking through life's biggest barriers in the series trip tackle some of the most common obstacles to personal growth. You learn how to overcome the feelings of loneliness and isolation will discover how to conquer personal stagnation and you'll find out how to defeat the thoughts of inferiority and a low self-image is a series that will bring hope and give you the tools you need to build a better future.

Based on the truth of God's unfailing love. This series is available for a limited time at a special on-air discount price to order trip series breaking through life's biggest barriers. Just dial 1-888-333-6003 or visit us online at http://livingontheedge.org will trip as I heard your message to the unit struck me that we live in a world that is connected like never before. And yet we often find yourselves isolated and lonely. It's a tragedy and almost an oxymoron that we can have more friends on Facebook, but have fewer relationships than ever before.

I mean, you might get a little twinge in your heart that says oh I got 45 likes or someone you to reach we did one of my tweets as you sit alone in front of the screen realizing does anybody really know me. Does anybody care about me who I processes with and so we Living on the Edge believe that this epidemic of loneliness only gets changed when we get in community with one another and there's a reason that we've invested hundreds of thousands of dollars in energy and time to produce small-group resources and it's to get people connected to one another around God's truth because healthy relationships demand truth and vulnerability in application and then loving accountability thanks trip well Living on the Edges over 20 small-group video titles to choose from. And right now they're all discounted because we know this is a great time of year to get in the kind of community trip was just talking about our small-group video resources couldn't be easier to use when you purchase a study guide free video streaming is included.

If you prefer a DVD. Those are also available for purchase. Trip does the teaching. The questions are outlined in the study guide and there are even online helps for leaders someone not take that next step. Make a plan with a few friends into a small group study together to take advantage of our small-group discounts.

Just go to LivingontheEdge.org or give us a call at 1-888-333-6003 will now with some final thoughts. Here's Chip.

As we wrap up today's program. I'd like to ask you a personal question.

Do you feel loved. Are you inauthentic community.

Do you struggle with loneliness and if so, are you really willing to let God love you. Are you willing to let him cause a breakthrough.

You know there's a lot of us in our times of loneliness, we cry out to God, we feel depressed, we feel discouraged and God says he wants to have us experience authentic love and connection with his family, but it's not all his job. We have a part so me ask you some penetrating questions and then I want to review some of those steps about how to build authentic relationships but the first question is how do you view the church. Is it just something where you show up and say Jan put in my time and you go now and then never are you like some of us are you in that season were you given up on institutional church. You know you seen the hypocrisy you've done the 9 yards he said forget church I want to tell you something.

There are some churches that are not doing it well. I'm a pastor I can say that I admit that, but you've got to know God has great churches out there. He's got a great church near you were people authentic which got a look.

You can get plugged in.

It's the body of Christ is not some institution. The second thing is it's not an event. It's a family that you belong to, and that means that you know people get to have their struggles but guess what, you have your struggles so you little kinder hello more tolerance with people in the church when they blow it is.

You can upload it to the let's talk about your part. How do you build authentic relationships. I went over these and I went pretty quickly. So if you have a pen or pencil you might want to jot these down and then again ask you once you jot these down. I want you to pick one point and put it in action today. That's the key to experiencing God's grace is not knowing more. It's obeying so how do you build authentic relationships number one.

Realize your need member that one really except you have a need for this number to move toward others. Don't wait for a friend to come into your life. Go find someone and be a friend to them. Number three. This is tough be vulnerable.

You will get about as deep with others as you are willing to let them get with you.

Take the first step share a little more significantly, what's really going on. Number four Challenger distorted thinking. No one likes me. I'm not worth anything that's not true you when you when it comes up in your mind is true. That's not true. You challenge it. Number five, take risks, yet that you take some risk.

Number six be empathetic you start listening listening listening to others and you'll find everybody wants to be around you, and finally number seven trust God asking for a friend.

Pray pray pray he will answer that Living on the Edge were excited to announce a new way to listen to our extended teaching podcast your chip anytime on Amazon's Alexa echo and echo.simply say Alexa enabled the Chip Ingram podcast once Alexis enabled with that skill.

All you need to say is Alexa played the Chip Ingram podcast you'll hear that these extended teaching any time you want will be sure to join us again tomorrow.

Stu continues his current series breaking through life's biggest fear chip and the entire team. This is the really say thanks for listening. this Edition of Living on the Edge