Culture Shock - Human Sexuality: The Search for Truth About Sex, Part 1

What's the truth about sex. What lies do you believe that are keeping you from one of God's greatest gifts parents today. I'm going to talk about human sexuality can be speaking directly in a straightforward manner and some of the points may be actually shocking is a topic that every person and every family in America needs to understand and that online that's today. Thanks for joining us for this Tuesday edition of living will be good with shipping chip serves as our Bible teacher of his daily international discipleship program for today's message actually comes with a warning as their warning. Well Dave be talking about sexuality and due to the nature of the content. If you have smaller children nearby, you might want to listen to this at a different time. I'm to cover some very important and sensitive information. This message is very frank, it's very straightforward.

You may want to screen at first and decide personally when and how might you want to share this information with your kids.

But here's what I can tell you, your kids are hearing this information everywhere all the time and they need to hear God's word and God's truth from you in the right environment and I want to equip you to do that flagship message is available. As always online that LivingontheEdge.org just click on the listen now button on our homepage. Now let's join Chip for his talk, human sexuality, the search for truth about sex never in the history of the world has a culture and its value shifted concerning sexuality as fast or as drastically as America in the last 4050 years.

I'm not saying in this author, historian is not saying that there hasn't been morality far worse or equivalent to America. Never in the history of this planet has a view of sexuality moved as fast and as far in a short amount of time and want to chronicle the shift talk today about sex. The search for truth about human sexuality. What's really true. Here's the shift in 19 late 1940s and 1950. About 5% of girls in high school and about 10% of boys in high school were sexually active. Fast forward 50 to 60 years, 70% of girls 80% of voice are sexually active high school.

Today 50% of all women under 30 cohabitating live with someone prior to marriage. If the American the divorce rate in the late 40s decade of the 50s single digits. Divorce rate today over 50%.

In fact the problem. By the way, don't don't get this disease. Terrible things have happened out there.

This is in the church 1969 we entered into no-fault divorce, morality, been changing doesn't matter why. By 1996 evangelical Christians divorce rate was 4% higher than the national average and in the Bible Belt. It was 50% higher than the national average. One talking about the shift inside of sexuality and family in the church. I read an interesting statistic 1987, 75 million people bought a rental of a triple export 1987, 1992, 490 million rentals of triple export. By 1996, 665 million rentals. US news has said the distributor of porn in all the world has it's hard here in America we distribute more than anyone else. Back then it was 150 new triple X porn videos per week. New titles once the Internet exploded.

They don't even count rentals anymore. About 40% of most men in America visit a porn site regularly and the percentage of women is increasing rapidly.

I just had a little conversation between a friend. After the service, who is has a good friend who's a sexual therapist and she said you know, for the first 25 years.

I had no women in my sexual therapy and now 30% of all the people that I see for sexual addictions are women. My point very simple shift huge shift fact in the church. Read article world magazine. Some of you may take an interesting article and was an article about a panel at a conference of Bible conference and a professor from a college was there talking to people about sexuality and that the quote goes something like this. She's a professor from a evangelical school and she said it's fine in church to stand up and talk about God's ideal for sexuality and marriage and all the rest of the fact the matter is we know people in their 20s and early 30s are not going to be sexually celibate. So with the church. What we need to do is say yes there is an ideal, but we need to provide contraceptives in Bible churches. So when people disobey the damage will be little bit less not think that towards the spirit of God living in Christians now doesn't have the power for us to obey God. So let's highlight one command so maybe won't mess up on another one. All I want you to get is you are living in a day where the speed and the change of sexual moral standards have moved like never before. Well, the shift in truth, the search for freedom in the 60s and the 70s, the bad, the bad teaching in the church we done a terrible job. I mean how do people growing up. Don't raise your hand.

But, at least for me before I opted out of church. I never heard a message on sex, most people here message on sex. In fact, some of our heroes of the faith. Calvin and Mark. Martin Luther and others mean they had a very warped view of they did a lot of things well. They pretty warped view about sex. Martin Luther taught that the only reason for sex, even in marriage was to procreate and so when he stopped being a monk and got married. A lot of kids he really believing kids, but I think there's been this picture of this Victorian snobby sex is dirty sex is bad or you'll say anything about sex and it's off limits and you get around Christians or kids grow up with parents and sex comes up, and their parents are uncomfortable.

Kids read from that.

Well, it must be bad or God's anti-sex who knows will then you have a Fifth Avenue who realized early on that once the moral floodgates are open.

Sex sells myself to think sex will sell cars sex you will sell beer right sex. And so now were bombarded in ways like never before. The impact spiritually is a church that's in potent. When you meet someone and they talk about. Once you come to my church. I really believe in Jesus. He's made a difference in my life and two people were living together you're having an affair you visit porn sites. Guess what, they don't think you have anything to say you're no different than me scandals of the 80s the televangelist got the clergy and the ongoing issues in the Catholic Church finding the credibility and the reputation of the church because of the shift is just not in Europe as a Christian I grew up as a skeptic and when I look at the panorama of how the church is handled. This is like just a bunch of hypocrites relationally.

Divorce rate has skyrocketed a million to 2 million people divorce every year which leaves 1 million kids without a home or family that they had the year before moms here dads there. If someone left with a fractured family.

We have dysfunction like never before. Relationally, unwed teens, people struggling emotionally scars abuse damage dysfunction. Not to mention, like AIDS, herpes on curable gonorrhea all times hi and in the cost. The cost spiritually is the church's reputation, but the cost I did not believe in God.

Okay, if I was not a Christian and if I didn't believe the Bible. I would tell you if I was an economist. The dumbest thing that's ever happened in America the last 50 to 60 years is our sexual morals. We spent billions and billions and billions of dollars to help unwed mothers whole welfare system and billions more on research for what sexually transmitted diseases and then on sex education, which by the way we learn that when we do sex education without values. We teach our high school and junior high students activity goes up instead all I want you to get something big happened and want to talk about the truth about sex.

Human sexuality are you ready for this. You are a sexual being. And so my how you think about sex impacts your identity, your view of God.

Your relationship with others and I suggest that you have been fed lies most of your life. Whether you're a Christian, not a Christian married or single, and I want to look at the top six lies that you've been fed and I've been fed and then want to flip it around to talk about God's truth. Myth number one is that God is anti-sex mentors.

When sex happens, God was. Gabriel was not look the other way, the truth of the matter is, God is so pro-sex he created it he created to provide physical pleasure, procreation, relational intimacy and to be a spiritual object lesson of Christ and the church. In Genesis chapter 1's the story of creation. Chapter 2 gives us the specifics. Then God said, let us make man in our own image, in her own likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, and over the livestock and over the earth and all the creatures that move along the ground. So God created his own image in the image of God he created them male and female in the here's his first words God to bless them and said to them, be fruitful and increase in number, fill the earth, subdue it multiplied be fruitful. Now, if God is antisex.

I have fought for you. Let's get out of your religious thinking that we happen to be in a building where we worship God and take some your baggage and let it go. I want to take you for a moment to even in a perfect environment and all-knowing and all loving, and good God who created these beings in his image and relearning chapter 1 he made mankind a little bit later chapter to help talk about how he'll take a part of mankind mankind is both male and female, and in his image. It's male and female who to part of that out so that there's this corresponding part in this drawling magnet toward one another. Male and female, and then is there in the garden. The very first words they hear you ready for this, be fruitful and multiply translation. The first thing God said to her original parents was make Kabila more graphic have sacks. That's how you're fruitful you don't get fruitful.

You don't multiply like you have your house it's holy it's sacred God for and by the way he designed their bodies like he designed years. He designed bodies. When people come together in a monogamous relationship that God's hearts desire. He looks on the marriage bed as holy as pure as a gift is sacred. He wants it to be deeply pleasurable and that he wants it for procreation. For children and let you learn in chapter 2, verse 18. That is not good for man to be alone is not good for person to be alone. God gives the gift to certain people and they have a unique set of desires to serve him in ways where they want to be celibate and be single but for most of us there is a yearning in your heart and my heart and there's an attraction to the opposite sex to want to be known to be love and to be connected and you will be known and loved and connected intellectually and spiritually and emotionally and psychologically and physically.

And so the end of that is not good for man to be alone. He tells us the story of Adam and Eve in creation and a man leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and they become one flesh. And they were naked and unashamed is the end of that chapter and they were naked and unashamed.

Not just physically they were emotionally transparent. They were psychologically transparent. There was connection. There's three Hebrew words for sex when it happens in the Old Testament want us to live with.

Second is to go into and the third is to know when David lies with Toshiba when a man goes into a prostitute when sex isn't sanctioned by God. He uses words like they live together or goes into her, and yet when he describes Adam and Eve. It says Adam knew Eve see far from some lustful act. It was about intimacy was about connection. It was about knowing is about self revealing. It was the climax in terms of the physical reality of what they were sharing at the heart and the spiritual level, and that's God's design is designed for you. Sex is awesome.

It's a gift, and it is holy is not antisex. Myth number two Christian sex lives and views of sex are dull boring and out of touch. I grew up with it.

I wasn't even a Christian. I don't think I saw my mom and dad history three times. I didn't see them be affectionate and when I came to Christ, since I'd never heard any messages on sex like taboo. I figured if people really became Christians, they became holy, and Victorian, and so I don't know what is like to be a Christian married. I don't think every one of them.

I mean, I'm not sure what they do at night.

You be surprised how many, especially Christian women have grown up in that environment, and despite maybe some later teaching otherwise have some major issues with sex and marriage because of that sense of something's wrong. It's dirty instead of a beautiful gift from God. The truth is is that the Scriptures command God's people to be downright you can go ahead and write this word in erotic in their marital love not suggested not only be a nice idea.

God is pro-sex.

He created sex for the reasons defined and inside of marriage. He commands us literally to be erotic to deeply enjoy one another. Listen to the wisest man of the earth.

Solomon he says to a man. May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the life of your youth. A loving dough, a graceful dear make her breasts satisfy you always. May you be captivated by her love.

Literally the word captivated may you be in trucks located by her love. Translation may you be turned on by your wife. That's God's will is God's desire first Corinthians chapter 7 verses two through five.

Paul is making some corrections you need to understand you don't live in the most sex saturated time. Although there is the Internet that would maybe argue otherwise. If you came to Christ in Corinth there's temples on every corner and spirituality and sexuality are very very close and so on. Most of the pagan religions. There was a prostitute, male or female that was a part of the religion and the Canaanite religions they were prostitutes are all kind of sexual things always got connected with spirituality so incorporate these people became Christians as they came to know Jesus as Messiah and the forgiven of their sins and begin to follow him.

They had two great heirs.

One group of people, but it was like this is the food is for the stomach and the stomach is for food and other words that if you have a sensual desire. In other words, if you want food God gave you desire for food eat so if you want sacks you should have sex any time anywhere with anyone. That's how they grew up in support of not exactly what God says bosses now see God put a box around sex is called a fireplace, and he wants the fire to burn hot and passionate inside the fireplace of marriage where it brings light and heat in warmth and intimacy.

But when you take it out of the fireplace and you put on the living room floor, as we see here in California in a forest. It burns wild and does destructive things. The other group wasn't sex anytime with anyone.

They were sort of this Greek background in Greek had a dualistic thinking. They thought the body was evil and the spirit was good. So they came to Christ and I said this were not going to have sex even inside of her marriage because it's dirty and unholy, listen what the apostle Paul says to this group.

We pick it up in verse two, first within seven, but since there's so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.

So the husband should fulfill his marital duty translation sex to his wife.

Likewise the wife to her husband.

The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband in the same way. The husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife but do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. The apostle Paul basically is saying and we've not taught this well or clearly in the church. You are one before God, your body, your make your to serve your mate with your body, and she or he is to serve you and apostle Paul is saying this is such a dynamic part of the marriage relationship. Far from being some small little area. It's a part of the bonding process. It's a part of the mental, physical and relational, that God desires. He commands us to literally be erotic and passionate in a relationship with one another. Walt Larimore is a psychologist and a doctor. At least the doctor, he's a doctor anyway and has a great article talks about what happens in a man's brain when his sex and they've just discovered where there is a bonding that happens in a man would have sex with the woman also causes him afterwards to have a desire to open up and self revealed God designed the sex act in marriage to build an incredible core and bond in relationship and that's why it's so important that here's what's interesting and I always get a kick out of my background.

As always, all the studies and I always get a kick out of a study that says all the way God really was right. In 1994. Every few decades maybe three or four. There's this exhaustive study, 1994, the University of Chicago did an exhaustive study on sexuality. Probably the biggest one before that was the Kinsey report. It was very flawed and terms of how it was done, but in 1994 became the book a landmark book sex in America. A definitive study by Robert Michael John Gagnon on an Edward Lehman, and in it.

It's very interesting.

Basically, they say, quote everything people think about how sex works in America it is far from the truth. America TV commercials.

You would think the hottest sex is single people in the swinging lifestyle. The report single people have less sex than married people and having fewer times than married people and then it goes into this crazy for the people that are most satisfied sexually, that have sex. The most often and have the greatest experience in sex. It's got a crazy, be careful here people in monogamous marital relationships with what they call orthodox conservative views often that are highly religious so as Christians may be a little embarrassed to talk about their kids with her have a lot of fun and you don't.

Here's why you want because you communicate if you love your wife is a Christian man, there's vulnerability there's trust and see at the end of the day. Sex is far from technique sex really is about vulnerability and love and trust in serving your partner rather than what you can quote yet and that principle of giving to be given unto you as you care and love and a woman feels nurtured as one author says she opens up like a flower and as a man learns to serve and care for his wife to God is far from anti-sex. He's not only process but he commands us to be outright passionate in our relationships] just joined us. You're listening to living on the shipping chips message to be human sexuality, the search for truth about sex is from his series culture shock in this bold series trip addresses fundamental yet controversial cultural issues from a winsome biblical point of view. Topics covered are human sexuality truth about sex, abortion, homosexuality and the church and politics. Parents help equip your children to know the truth about these important topics and consider using the series as a devotional study with your teens and preteens. Culture shock is also a popular study for Sunday school, youth groups or neighborhood Bible studies. Chip does the teaching and brings the issues to the table in a way that promotes discussion versus debate light versus heat the small group study is currently discounted.

So take advantage of this opportunity and order your studies today. Just give us a call at 1-888-333-6003 or visit us online at http://livingontheedge.org will chip before you come back with some specific application from today's talk. I know this is a very sensitive and important topic and in 20 minutes you really just hit the highlights. So for those listening today who are may be struggling with this issue were concerned about their children or grandchildren. One additional help can we give them what of all the things that I look back over the last 40+ years where the enemy has taken people off the spiritual tracks have really decimated their spiritual life. With the advent of porn on the Internet. I mean the statistics inside the church are just overwhelming.

I think the average age that a young male was addicted to porn in America is 11 years old now and that doesn't even touch on all the other issues in terms of human sexuality, and I think for the most part we spent a lot of energy telling people wait or don't. But not giving them a high holy view of sexuality and what it means in its grandeur and how majestic and what God is created for and I just can be honest and know that the average parent and average grandparent, especially single parents are just can say I really don't know how to talk about this and so we have a culture of this bombarded by sex and Christian parents and grandparents that really aren't having these conversations.

So here's the deal. Let me help you if you got this small group DVD only to watch this. All you have to do is that you know honey. Son, daughter, whatever you know after dinner ready to take about unit 2030 minutes for the next couple days and I want to show you something in the road.

I just talk honestly and just put it on your TV or get the DVD show it and then talk about it because I will tell you if your kids and grandkids don't get armed with the truth they are being bombarded I know we have young girls thinking they have to get rid of their virginity. I mean imagine that I just gotta get this over with. There's such pressure moms and dads. Your teenagers still think that what you think matters more than all their peers. But you've got to arm them. You've got to teach them. Here's my plea.

You let us help you make strip what we really do want to help you communicate with your kids about these crucial topics.

So whether it's the DVDs or the free online streaming that comes with every study guide purchase Living on the Edges ready with the resources you need and right now these video resources are deeply discounted.

Just go to LivingontheEdge.org for either the culture shock DVDs or the study guide and free online streaming. If you prefer to talk with someone about these resource options. Just give us a call at 1888333600310. Here's trip with some final thoughts about today's message as we wrap up today's program. I just want to ask permission to move into this sensitive area and just talk very very candidly with you want to talk to those of you that are married and you've heard this and you heard me talk about you know God wants us to have passionate sex lives and you know sex is really positive and it's a gift from God.

Here's what I can tell you I've been a pastor now for little over 30 years.

This is an area that if you have never had any issues or problems or struggles in your sexual relationship with your spouse. All I want you to know is you are the rare exception in the whole world. And if you're very very young or middle-aged or very old. This is an area that comes up at different times in different ways in every couples life and what I want you to know to is that most of us, even as Christians are fairly embarrassed because our background. Often couples have great relationships but they never talk about this there very uncomfortable talking about this.

I remember teaching a seminar with my wife on this whole topic, and a couple I mean literally in their late 70s and the guy took me aside and said, in a way that a great marriage. She's a godly woman. We raised three kids on and on and on and on. This is the first time in the breakout session that we've ever talked about this area and candidly there's been areas of frustration on both our parts for decades. Here's what I want you to hear the don't do that. Don't do that, you know, learn what the Bible says there's great resources about this topic at this is one as we go to the rest of this teaching. You could watch the DVD together talk about it. This is one educate your kids, early and often about the gift of human sexuality. We are being bombarded with so many lies. God once. This is a special gift.

There is a bond that's created through the sexual act that God wants for couples. It's normal to have struggles just like we have to learn to communicate. We have to learn to resolve conflict.

This is yet another area where in our learning we trust God, we ask God we learn from him in great things can happen. And so, let me encourage you if you need to go to a counselor go to a counselor if you need to read a book together, read a book together. But please don't put this on the side burner and have sorted this elephant in the room that you don't address if you don't address it. Chances are you won't address it with your children and it just gets passed on, you can know the truth and the truth will set you free. As we close today's broadcast. I just want to remind you about the Chip Ingram up the free shipping roadmap delivers daily broadcasts like our program today. Special offers ships interactive message outlines and much more to download the chipping remap. Just visit Google play for the App Store today will join us again tomorrow when we continue our current series chip. The entire team. This is Dave Gurley saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge