Love Sex and Lasting Relationships - Love and Sex: Why Knowing the Difference Makes All the Difference, Part 2

You know God created a beautiful beautiful gift for his people called sex and is been exploited. It's been it's been defrauded, and I believe God looks down on so many of his children that are living together that are hooked on pornography and with tears in his eyes. He says oh I long for you to have sex. How intended intimacy and love connection if you'd like to learn how to have that kind of sex and the right relationship stay with thanks for joining us for this Tuesday edition of living on the head with Living on the Edge pictures the Bible teaching of Chip Ingram on this daily discipleship program and nature continues a series love, sex, and lasting relationships is about to finish the message again yesterday that it's available on our website.just click listen now let's get going in Georgia for part two of his message from Ephesians chapter 5. Love and sex. Why knowing the difference makes all the difference.

Far from wanting to limit sex God's heart stopped experiencing such second rate sex logging onto an imaginary site with people that have been pumped. And whether blowing fans and touchup the body and create these world don't exist having affairs living with someone where you know there's no real commitment and you say all kind words. It is just convenient but it's really about you since all those things reduce reduce reduce reduce the capacity for what God wants you matter to him. We read earlier earrings workmanship. You're like a prize painting you like the most classic car you like a beautiful mansion. You're like a Rembrandt you matter more than anything he wants the best for you. Anything don't destroy this and here's the reason sexual impurity destroys relationships that simple sexual impurity will destroy your relationship with God. Sexual impurity will destroy your relationship with yourself and sexual impurity will destroy your relationship with others. Notice what it says in verse five. For this you know, put a box around the word no. I'll tell you why in a minute with certainty that no notice. The repetition, no immoral, no impure or covetous person. By the way, who is an idolater, has inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.

And then, here's a warning he sent to a sex saturated culture. This is counterintuitive and I'm laying out this is God's plan. He loves you, but there's a lot of people that are blowing smoke they're fooling you there deceiving you that got you in situations where you want to experience God, love, sex.

He says let no one deceive you how with empty words and then there's the warning not only not be deceived, but the consequences for because of these things, what things in morality, impurity and covetousness because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. I said to box around the word no. In Greek there's two major words for no one is a fact.

This is just a fact. The other is knowing by experience so certain things. I know because of experience in certain things are. I can feel it or not feeling but 2×2 = 4. That's this word thing you can know with certainty. Okay, here's what I want you to know people.

They can say they love God.

They can raise their hands. I can come to church occasionally they can pray the prayer people who are living habitually immoral lives. Eventually, impure lives in habitually covetous lives will have no part in God's kingdom and and he doesn't. It's not like God's kingdom coming. It's God's kingdom, God's rule. God's favor, God's blessing now and they said all the people deceive you… Let them tell you stuff like if it's safe sex is okay if we really love one another. It's okay seat did you notice that one little word. It's a person who comforts company has to do with.

I want something that's not mine is mine, rightfully, he says that person who is immoral or impure or covetous in the Janessa the phrase is an idolater an idol worshiper is someone who worships the creature instead of the Creator or something. They make themselves. When you think of idols don't usually think of like a little something your people put on a standard like the old Indian movies never told him told him you know they would worship we might have a lion and a bear in but every told him every item you can you can worship success. You can worship your body. You can worship your kid, you can worship your work.

You can worship ministry with any idol you have, you can go down through that I don't the very bottom. The auto you know it's right there, a mere and when you look at the bottom of that idle, guess who you're really worshiping you. Guess who I'm really worshiping me if I would choose to log on to an Internet site, I would choose to flirt with someone I would choose to let my mind go. This isn't just our actions right. Jesus said in Matthew five if I lost for a woman in my heart. I've already committed adultery. Jesus said the pure in heart will see God. Solomon would say that as you think, and I think so, we will become. When I do those things are when you do those things that is all about me, worshiping me, and me getting off and thinking there's something that will deliver that's different than the woman that God gave me in the context of our relationship.

So here's what God says I love you too much pulsing to the sex saturated world in Ephesus. You will never experience God's favor in God's love and God's freedom, you will end up like a little girl who's 20 and clinically depressed and can't figure out why life is meaningless because she's been exploited and used because she got her virginity over with. You don't want to be someone inside of your marriage and it's rampant in Christian marriages where you don't talk about sex. It's not very fulfilling. You don't know what to do about it in your chatting online with old high school boyfriend and girlfriend. He doesn't want you to be like someone who's playing the little game and let's pretend were really committed your parents divorced.

My parents divorced. So let's live together for a while that works out great for you, but there's no commitment, and if there's no commitment. There's no safety and if there's no safety. You can't really let the other person know all of you are the great majority of all the people will talk about it next week but cohabitate do not end up getting married and do not end up staying together. This would you please hear if you here because of your background or my background. I grew up as a Christian. Okay what went when I first heard literally when I when someone told me no sex before marriage under think I know about Christianity, but that's not for me. You should probably laugh right now with sort of what that yeah that's how I think to your way to wholly appreciate really mean I just got God had a bony finger and arms crossed and you know like I like I thought God was up in heaven. Sex occur like oh my gosh, Gabriel, what are they doing now the Bible says he's up in heaven, and the marriage that is holy and he looks at a couple but spiritually committed. Walking with Christ knows one another loyal enter having sex and got to Gabriel guy's it's awesome.

You know why because sexuality and spirituality are so closely tied.

There are a few things you experience ever in your entire life. It's akin to your intimacy with God like having sex with your wife or husband without guilt without baggage without stopping without junk in confidence with one could you matter. Don't don't treat yourself like you don't have any respect for yourself, don't treat yourself like you don't matter you matter to me and so I want the best for you. The consequences the wrath and the word wrap all it means is you made in God's image, so here's what happens when things are beautiful or things that you made or things you worked hard and things you know are supposed to be wonderful when someone comes and destroys. And you get mad don't you write anybody any of you parents have some other kids are a school or someone start to really mess with your kids. I mean, and really start to damage them. Tell me about those emotions. What you what you do in that when things are unfair, get mad, why could you make the image of God. When we do things that are destroying our lives and destroying relationships and breaking up families. God gets angry in God's anger is not like God has an anger component and a love component. Theologically, God is simple. What that means is that he is absolutely holy and loving and simple and righteous and compassionate and just perfectly. All at the same time and so out of his love, he allows consequences to happen when were sexually immoral in our mind or in her speech were in our behavior and he allows his consequences to get our attention as other certain diseases that you get the physical consequences.

There is depression and guilt and baggage. Those are psychological consequences that their spiritual consequences. You know if you've gone too far. If you're logging on Internet sites or if you're living together and now we can push down my conscience right we can sear it, but I got news for you.

There's a lot of people that when you done something that you know is wrong, and violated sexual boundary.

You can open up this book and is just like words of the page then speak to you try praying really from the heart. Experience God's presence try wondering why don't I see vivid answers to prayer, what, why don't have any power over temptation can't live in both arenas. God says I care about you so much. I don't want you to be conformed to this world and its consequences.

I want you to be transformed by the renewing of your mind that you could experience my will. The good acceptable and perfect will of God in your sex life in your married life in your single life in your thought life because you matter that much. Have a friend of many years ago and the illustration is consequences, and we were out playing basketball throughout South America and he was a West Coast guy played for one of the things called the pack Ater.

I don't know what to expect. 12 now, and I mean major major school on a basketball scholarship but was amazing athlete, so he was also a baseball player and so he played like AA ball in the summers made money and his story will give you sort of the truncated version was found some playboys. Early on, I kinda got involved in some soft porn I found in high school.

The girls were pretty attracted to me and got with a group of guys. We kinda played a silly game about how my girls in high school, sleep with, so we did that with the college. I play the same game is kind of the big guy on campus and it was is this certain men don't say this a lot, but he was like out of a poster okay you like 63 bronze bodied California blondish type here.

Good looking amazing athlete nice personality. It's sickening actually. No bread for the rest of us and then he said during the summers when I play pro ball, I became addicted. This is before the Internet was big and on he set up the game I played was how many women can I sleep with and every count each day is that I just am ashamed of the numbers.

As you know your baseball plague of these towns and you can have groupies for a lot of guys think this sounds like the life they said this trip is my last stop as it would mean your last stop he said II live that way and then I'll never forget something happening you not I know about God. And I know but right now I know that wrong but I mean I just couldn't stop. And then something snapped and broke inside me and he said I went completely numb. They said I didn't have any desired ends are for sex for God for people. I have no feelings whatsoever, and it scared me. I just felt like I'd given everything the way I had no capacity to love and no capacity to feel and I was completely bankrupt and I went before God and I begged and begged and begged for his forgiveness and I don't feel a lot when I started getting the Bible started the memorizing passages and then I got to church.

I guess you could call it growing but get this chain that I'm carrying behind me and said I wanted to come and serve God.

I'm not playing baseball this summer. I wanted to serve him and said I'm praying that someday someone he could restore that broken part inside the wrath of God is his kindness and love. Providing the kinda consequences to help you understand that you may not want that much love, but he will keep loving you because he cares and he will bring increasing levels of consequence to get your attention so that you will become sexually pure so you can experience the very best that you turn the page. We need to then ask where do we go from here right this is a big big day for some of you is like if this guy talking right now had any idea where I've been and what's going through my mind and my present situation. What I'm currently doing right can you hear something before we go on. God loves you.

If you're addicted to pornography. God loves you if you're living with someone right now.

God loves you if you're sexually active with your boyfriend or girlfriend. God loves you.

If you're currently having an affair. God loves you. If you have homosexual leanings and identity issues. God loves you if you're involved in a homosexual relationship God loves you.

If any of those things are true of you today but you must understand that love will bring about consequences and to habitually continue in that destroys your relationship with God and your opportunity to experience it, and so he wants to forgive you for some of you you're involved in those things and you realize what you really need to do is realize oh my, I never saw it as being covetousness. I never saw it as being exploiting or using confused, lost with love and it's whatever seen and known, and heard a need to ask God to forgive you once and for all, not just for your sexual sin, but for all your sin and inviting to be your Savior and to forgive you and commence your life in the person of the Holy Spirit to give you brand-new life for others you're here and you your born-again you know God, you know the story you experience and you read the Bible, some to pray some your living with someone you and you know the empty words the deception we really love one another, and we really can't afford to and on and on and on and for others. I hope the statistics are wrong but 25 or 30% of the men you're logging onto porn sites at least once a month more and more frequent with women so here's here's here's the here's the deal. God didn't bring us together so you go and I mature, selfish, unloving, lustful, exploiting user of other people, we kinda gotta see that right if you don't accept the bad news you can get the good news is now. Here's his word.

Are you ready award to those that are uninvolved to me you not involved in any relationship.

Today make a commitment and they don't have to wear a ring and you have to go through a ceremony if that helps.

Great but make a commitment to say I'll be sexually pure in my mind my thoughts and my relationships and next week we'll talk about developing gameplay. If you're in a relationship dating someone or living with someone just do what's right. This is not rocket science. If you living with someone you know I had a very long conversation.

Knowing this was coming up and I sat down with a guy that I love a lot. He's a great friend is living with someone right now is a great friend. We talked about this and so I sat down earlier this week I said amen.

I really love you. This is what I'm gonna share your gonna be here your girlfriends going to be here and you can come to a crossroads and and you know he gave me all the empty you know we can't afford to move apart and we really love each other. I said look man, you say what I get it right. You either obey God or don't obey God. So what you're telling me is you believe the God I mean he's a great guy. You believe God is powerful enough to create the universe right you believe he's powerful and loving enough to send his son to die in your place right and rise from the dead right but you don't think he has the power to help you guys deal through living apart figuring out whether this is really the right person and supporting you financially. So I just want to try get this right to create the world but there's no power for you to obey is to be sit down and talk and work this out. I said my wife and I'll sit down with you and will will help you go through the steps of what to do with some of you that's the decision, and this is one of those I'm to think about this. This is today were not to live together for some of you today.

I'm not logging on anymore today. The affair stop tomato. I don't meet with them to tell them it's over never works. You never break up with the text in a casual relationship, but a Texas good for this affair is over. I disobeyed God I damage my life. I'm sorry were done.

A word to those that are in crisis. If you're in a marriage is really not working in this just sort of exposes it. If you're in a relationship where you feel like honestly, I mean honestly you're in a relationship and you're scared because not just sexual it's abusive.

Get help. Talk to someone today talk to pastor Christian counselor get help and then finally, for those that are married and all I can say is Christians are funny people fighting groups of Christians I can say this because I've been there. We would we rather pretend to get real and I don't want counseling. I don't do a lot of it anymore. I met couples that are in their 70s that have never talked about sex walk with God 40 years she never ever told him you know when you do this it really doesn't really help me at all, or when you do that or we haven't really talked about it. Mrs. big white elephant and becomes a barrier and people don't wake up to say hey you know I think I give up on this marriage are I think I have an affair. I think just give myself to the kids or I think will become a workaholic. God wants your emotions and your spirit in your bodies to be connected in a way that sustains in his loving deep right so go to one of these marriage classes pick up a book on sexuality. My wife and I have gone through so many books of these books included to help us in every area. Love giving another person what they need the most when they deserve it the least a great personal cost. Sex a beautiful dynamic bonding gift for procreation pleasure and beauty for one man one woman inside of marriage to have the light, your creator if you're just joining us, you're listening to living on the head with your finger in ships message today is from his series, love, sex, and lasting relationships. Known for his candid biblical teaching.

She brings the truth in the series about romance, lifetime commitments and true love. If you know a friend who'd be encouraged by the message you just heard, why not go to LivingontheEdge.org click listen now and share it with a note to let them know you're thinking about them. Another option would be to take a look at the entire series, including several format options. The book CDs small group video and study guides.

And while this series is all meter. The MP3s are absolutely free to order any of these resources by phone or to get additional information. Just call us at 1-888-333-6003.

That's 1-888-333-6003, or simply go to LivingontheEdge.org and order your copies of love, sex, and lasting relationships. Today will chip it seems like most of the teaching in the series is aimed at the life of a single person and yet all month. We really want people to understand how a lasting marriage works.

Could you help us tie the single thing and marriage together.

Be glad today what I know is that Stephen Covey, one of my favorite authors in the seven habits of highly effective people.

One of the habits is beginning with the end in mind.

Most people their entire view of relationships is either their family of origin a handful of movies, TVs and Netflix and so we have this picture of relationships that is pretty much emotional, relational, in terms of romance, but we don't know how it actually works and what I find is when single people pause or people of been married before and it thinking I want to a relationship that really works is go to the design. What does God say about a covenant what's he say about the role of the man. The role of a woman what to say about the responsibility how's it going to work with money and values and decisions and in-laws and getting that super clear upfront will just be an amazing help for people to build a great relationship in the future. So even if you're single. Let me encourage you get the book marriage that works. I think to be a great resource and if you're in a relationship might be something to bring out some issues that you really need to discuss before you go to the next step really makes a lot of sense like strip will chip's new book is called marriage that works. Whether you're married or single. The principles on how to have a relationship. The blasts are built on God's design, which is why we can confidently say we know they work and when you order the book as an added bonus will include trips latest set of truth cards. Each card is a lie. We tend to believe about marriage and then on the flipside, the truth straight out of Scripture to help you combat that lie so give us a call at 1-888-333-6003 or visit us online at http://livingontheedge.org to check out all the relationship resources, especially chips new book marriage that works in the free truth cards will now hear strip with some final application to to his program was one of those programs that made some of you feel very uneasy.

For some it's like I didn't know anyone still talking about Christians being sexually pure and for others you're downright a bit hostile inside thinking you know I don't really know about all bad and I think that sort of old-fashioned etc. etc. I often have enough people tell me. So how do you know this is really true.

And of course we could go into lots of reasons, but in the last 15 to 20 years. I cannot tell you how many Bible studies in my house.

I've had with 20 and 30 somethings there from all over the world. Their people with all kind of backgrounds and what I can tell you is both inside and outside the church is a relational world of people hooking up being damaged lacking intimacy and deeply struggling.

I often had someone say, does the Bible really teach an old-fashioned no sex before marriage. Let me say unequivocally the passage that I taught today makes it clear sex outside of a monogamous marriage between one man one woman who are married is wrong. It is missing the mark. It is sin now is that because God is approved and gave us desires and didn't want us to fulfill them. Absolutely not, is because he's so good.

He wants the very best, psychologically, physically, spiritually, for some of you. You are deeply aware that what I've shared is true and like at the end of the story and arrow. His peers, through your heart and what I want you to know as God forgives and there's restoration and the consequences of sin are real, but healing and restoration are just as real turned to him today with all your heart and can I encourage you choose today for your relationship and for the honor of God to be sexually pure.

Just before we close. I want to thank those of you who make this broadcast possible through your generous giving Living on the Edge invests those dollars to purchase her time create programs and provide resources to help Christians live like Christians, if Living on the Edge is been a blessing to you. Would you prayerfully consider sending a gift today.

You can donate online at http://livingontheedge.org or by calling us at 1-888-333-6003. Thank you for your partnership with us will I hope you'll join us again tomorrow is chip continues a series, love, sex, and lasting relationships. For now, this is Dave Gurley saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge