True Spirituality - How to Come to Grips with the Real You, Part 1

There are three questions everyone regardless of culture, economic status or even religious conviction won't pass an answer in your life. Number one. Who am I number two. Where do I belong in number three. What am I supposed to do in answering those questions clearly and correctly will set the course for your entire life today learn how to answer them well welcome to this Tuesday edition of Living on the Edge with Living on the Edges of international discipleship ministry featuring the Bible teaching of Jeff and Dave grew today. Chip continues his series spirituality coming a Romans 12 Christian by answering those three foundational questions adjustment after the teaching trip will be with us to talk more about some next steps to be sure to stay with us for that you have a Bible handy for Romans chapter 12 let's join Chip for his message how to come to grips with the real you know there's not a lot of things that psychologist and theologians agree on 100% but psychologist and theologians all agree that from the time were very small. Actually, until the day we die, we begin to consciously or unconsciously try to ask and answer three questions.

Question number one. Who am I to question number two.

Where do I belong in question number three. What am I supposed to do. These are issues about identity about security significance and were on a journey you sought about becoming a Romans 12 Christian or true spirituality and at the end of the day we can call all kind of different things.

But Jesus made it very clear. Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind with all your strength and love your neighbor like yourself in Romans chapter 12, it just gives us a snapshot of what an authentic follower of Jesus looks like in everyday life. And so in terms of loving goddesses. How do you love God.

What does God want the most. He wants you and me all that we are all that we have surrendered him, and then realizing that it's a battle in the world system was to seduce our heart away from our Savior. He wants to be separate from the world values whenever you move from verse one and verse two, verse 328 and hear what we can learn is how do you come to grips with the real you.

You cannot and I cannot love other people.

If you don't love you, I mean that not narcissistically mean in a very healthy way how you look in the mirror. Not just physically but in the mirror of your soul come to grips with who you really are and say I'm fearfully and wonderfully made.

I matter God has a plan for me. I'm not too short.

I'm not too tall.

I have the right personality. I have the right gifts.

I don't need to be like anyone else here is the fact of the matter. Most of us. Most people in all the earth spin the great majority of their time and energy trying to be like someone else wishing they were someone else.

And so we dressed like someone else we act like someone else. We have all these different models and we spent all of her energy and time trying to be a copy of something that is not nearly as attractive as the one unique person out of the almost 7 billion people on this planet that have unique DNA that years and your mate exactly like you were made by the creator of all of life's got a plan for you and he's gifted you and was to do something great in you and then something significant through you.

So whatever roll up our sleeves and work and ask and answer the question, how do you come to grips with the real you. So open your teaching notes if you will, let's jump into those three questions. Question number one.

Who am I you know when your real small you use you say will like in my family. I learned early it's family who am I I'm in England. My dad made it very clear that that name was important so you better not go out and do anything that would embarrass Ingram name you get a little older and they say who are you, and we often give our profession or workbook, scientism, a software engineer I'm a stay-at-home mom on the construction work on electrician, it's who I am I my identities around what I do as we get a little bit older war as life changes often, then it's about our passion will on the mom I'm a surfer on the artist, but it all goes back to from the time you small to those late teens to early adulthood than especially low shift in midlife.

What's her identity. You're always asking this question and by the way, for those of your parents or your kids. The second big question were always asking her where do I belong.

This is not security and so member in school when they were clicks it anywhere coming in every school you got the athletes yet the nerds you get the cool group got the in group to get the really outgroup and then there's clubs so you join different clubs and sometimes are where I belong is my ethnicity. The people that look like me or or sometimes it's around.

We are where we belong on the IBMer I'm in HP or Google or Frank.

You know, other times where I belong is why belong to this country club and people like me, go here or I belong to the skanky dilemma pants down here and I got some bling or I belong because in some games you have to kill someone to get in and I got it here tattoo right here to prove that I'm in that you need understand that the same dynamics when you're small or later everyone of those is every person is made by the God of the universe to need to belong to need to understand who you really are. We go about it.

In some ways sometimes are very dysfunctional fact, sometimes very dangerous third question were asking is why my here. What am I supposed to do is fundamental. It's so fundamental and so overwhelming sometimes we blow past this one we went to last time you actually stopped and said why am I on this planet. What is the meaning of life for me. Seaweed left to me and you left to you. That's like oh yeah that's on Truman's most important question of life, so I'll get around to that. I do a lot of voicemails you know and let emails and you know there's working as kids ago drop people off and by the way, got a get in. I get to get these good test scores and I need. It's amazing how many people blow through life fulfilling all kinds of duties responding to all kinds of demands it really are about identity and security, and you wake up 3040 50 years later in your leisure whole life is been a grind your whole life is been for something that's can happen someday, some way out there and you'd never stop to ask what am I supposed to do with my life. A big part of the whole midlife crisis is people look in the rearview mirror: I'm not only not asked that question when I start thinking about it very deeply.

I don't like the answer because I not only don't know but I haven't given much energy or time or track record what I think probably matters most. Now before you get too down on yourself right because honestly those are big are they that those are so big. He is an interesting the biggest issues in life, you can sort of shove down because there is so hard to answer.

It's like, well, yeah. I mean who here would say who am I really and where do I belong and what am I supposed to come on ship, would you get to some serious right that there's no bigger questions and that and yet the great majority people have not thought deeply or to get a good clear answers to that. But let me tell you why. Let me explain why those are so hard to answer. Turning your notes to page 2.

Something happened. Something happened to our first parents that we've inherited from them make these three questions very hard to answer is why the world has such a pull on us is why we settle for lots of superficial answers to those things. Knowing down deep in our soul.

They don't really satisfy the passages Genesis chapter 3 the context is the cosmic coup has occurred the most loving being the most generous being the giver of all life, the creator of the universe, Yahweh, God has created mankind and told him that all that I have and everything's available.

There's only one small limitation. Don't eat from that tree in our parents, first by deception than by act of the will was a coup was a rebellion and sin entered the world. The theologians call the fall of man we pick up the story we find out what happened. As we pick up the story will discover why for you and me. It's really hard to answer this question as well. They heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden.

The first time. This is ever happened. They ran to meet him. They live in a perfect environment that they were naked.

Emotionally they were naked, spiritually they were naked physically.

Some theologians think there was radiation of light that came out from them before the fall even there was absolute complete intimacy with God, intimacy and vulnerability with on another unconditional acceptance. Life was perfect and now they hear God coming in for the first time they hi the Lord God called to the man and said him where are you, by the way, this is not an informational question.

This is diagnostic. God knew where he was using ask a series of questions to help Adam discover where he's really Adam said I heard the sound of you in the garden. I was afraid because I was naked so I hid myself. If you get a pen. When you pull it out in circle afraid naked and hit that'll come back later you find there's a relational pattern in that you have and I have in every human being has, and God said, who told you that you were naked. Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you not to eat and so he's going to answer God and it's very interesting if you happen to be his wife. This is not a good moment. What you can learn as you can't trust the sky for the first time ever. What you gonna learn when the pressure comes what is going to do instead of owning his stuff and be a man. He's going to be passive and is in a blame you. So even probably standing there knowing the whole story and she's can hear her husband say to God, the woman that you gave me to be with me. She gave me from the tree and I translation it's not my fault it's her fault and by the way, you're the one who gave it to me so let's do the math. Not me, it's her, it's your fault really got. And so God moves on with the progression of diagnostic questions. Then the Lord God said to the woman, what is this that you have done in the woman being a very quick study says the serpent deceived me, and I hate words, it's not my fault either. It's a serviceable annual maintenance garden and no maidservants and you all the problems in life are God's is an interesting lot hasn't changed. When there's a tragedy when is a difficulty when something happens in the world is an interesting as human beings. What it was. Here's how could God let this happen.

How come every single day this. How can God let me preach. How could God give me this mean we don't like list every good thing he's ever done anything goes wrong with the port hotel you what right three obstacles you see in this passage about why it's so hard to come to grips with the real you. First is fear rooted in shame noticing since I was afraid why I was afraid because now for the first time ever, Adam realizes he's naked and and and don't of course it's physical but well well beyond what he realizes is he's exposed what he realizes when he meets the eyes of someone who sees absolutely perfect through everything he doesn't measure up. There's a self-consciousness that is occurred and can I tell you that this is how we relate to God often and this is how we relate to one another. It is the primary means relating to other human beings and God is fear is rooted in shame to see.

I mean if we get all the superficial sophistication and all the pop psychology out of the way.

If I get remove every ounce of veneer from your life and mine and all the image management and all the ways you kind of frame things and all the levels of denial that you have down deep in your heart and your soul. If someone new. All of you.

I mean all of you the thoughts that envy the motives, the things that you thought, let alone the things you've done down deep in your heart, you're pretty convinced you'd be rejected and so we relate to one another in fear and spend inordinate amount of energy posing an image managing and since were not sure who we really are. We want to be liked by other people. So I call them personality holograms because of your background and your gifts in the part of the country you grow up in all these factors somewhere along the lower world you learn. People in certain groups like this and so you learn to act like that, and dress like that and need to drive that in your kids need to go to this school and you have all these things that somehow someway. If all that is lined up because you get affirmation from that you get approval from that your admired by people. Here's the problem. What you know is this hologram that you're projecting of this person that has a condo together and is loving and is kind and is a good whatever you know down deep in your soul that really doesn't represent all of you, let alone so a lot of the real you. And even when people love the hologram you don't get love because you know that's not you that's why we find some of the people that are most beautiful and most successful and we find them doing things we scratch our heads and say how could someone that has all the things we all long for, kill themselves or destroy their life with an addiction. It's that discrepancy in there so it's fear rooted in shame noticing second thing that happens in this. Not only did they say I was afraid he says hiding rooted in insecurity.

See when you're naked you feel insecure you feel in adequate and so you hi. Not only were afraid that I hide the real me from you and you hide the real you from others and from God.

It is amazing when you don't feel like praying especially if you down deep feel you know this or that low-grade guilt in your soul but it's not like really big sins but sort of the little one start adding up and you just don't feel very motivated to pray about you but when I realizes I don't want to go talk to God right now because I know how this is going to go right he's gonna cause me to be honest.

Expose me for who I am and I don't like that and so I played this game like will I don't really talk to very deeply right now he doesn't really know but don't you do that with your mates. Those of you to marry, don't you do with your roommates don't you do that with your best friends don't we play that game. We have fear that's rooted in shame and we hide in our insecure and cannot say something.

Here's a great little message to learn. This is a freedom message for me. Everyone on the earth is desperately insecure desperately insecure and if there's around if I really buy that one will tell you little story that was a liberating one for me the first place that I had the privilege of pastoring.

I was 28 years old. It was instead of a mega church. It was a mini church is out in the country about 30 miles outside of Dallas.

The whole town was about 3000 people in it outside the town was a small white building. We had 35 people and so is my very first pastorate, and I did know what I was doing but this was you know the place God called me to and I thought it was like a rural church is people had pickup trucks and guns in the back and they all had their ranches and horses. But after about two months there. When I started visiting the people in their homes not only to their homes had the southern living magazine.

You know like on the coffee table. Their homes were Southern living magazine and unit is only 35 people, but this guy owned the Honda dealership Yamaha dealership apartments in downtown Austin and oil and gas and this guy owned not not work that he owned an insurance company on how you do that, but someone has to own. My guess this guy over here have that one of the major CPA firms downtown and all of a sudden I realize for my very middle class my dad to the depression roots, you know both parents, school teachers, all of a sudden I realize I'm pastoring 35 people, but there mega wealthy elites there mega wealthy from where I came from and I'm intimidated to death. If you ever been around someone that makes you feel really insecure and every I would say things I would feel small and I would think I'm dumb and I don't know about that. I know them smarter than me and I got all the stuff and will chip were not to be and in his own church because we can go out of town. Unit skiing seasons were going to avail home office in Colorado to our cottage and then working at our condo in Corpus Christi and it was like an awning for the first year and 1/2 I was. I literally I remember being awake me not sleeping at all.

The first full six or seven nights before the first message. Once I found out who these people because I was so uptight about what they thought and then God put a book in my hands by Swiss psychologist Christian psychologist named Paul Turney Union have to read the book, probably out-of-print was translated from from French and English. Paul Turney, a the title of the book is the strong and the weak, and he had counseled people for 30 or 40 years in the thesis of the book is real simple. Everyone on the face of the earth is definitely insecure. Some people expressed their insecurity with strong reactions they power up they tell you who they are, where they pin they dress flashy, they tell you how many people report to them how many letters behind their name with their kids. SAT scores are you start to cross when they get angry and they power up and all of a sudden you feel small and back away and people are desperately insecure that power up gets what they do they power up with strong reactions to create distance because down inside there a scared little boy or a scared little girl just like everybody else in a hide behind. They just have different fig leaves and other people over here you have people have weak reactions and their weak reactions and they scared her feet a lot of you and I can't do anything and I'm unworthy of your throat.

Will you probably could understand it and when you first meet them. You try to help them then you try to help them then you meet them and then they they had this recorder. I'm a victim I'm a victim on the victimized terrible and unworthy. I'm a terrible person. No one would ever love me and after like five meetings you go you know what you might be right right on the utility and so what they've done is they don't really want help. They want sympathy and attention, but when they act like that it creates distance. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. They figure a way to act in ways where people say I won't get close to you. It works but there's not a Nichols worth the difference between the two.

The strong reaction. The weekly action wives around.

Mostly people that were powering up. I was scared to death and I read that book and it was literally like you to get on this cartoons were light bulb goes off. Being a lifelong half and I still remember the first time I meet this guy for breakfast and he starts telling me about this on investing and that I'm to do that is currently back in a ton minutes guys desperately insecure and I got to know his marriage and his problems start accounts and some of his kids and I still remember thinking that these people are as messed up as me. In fact, I think money can make even more messed up and me and I just decided you know what I'm to stop pretending and I took my mask off at a new level and befriended them and I watch God do a miracle. He did a miracle in them.

We did a bigger miracle in me and it was like that early journey. You know what just sort of my new radar became for years and years and years. Everyone's desperately insecure and you cover it. One way I cover it one way some people cover it with you what they've done in their performance and their success in other people with their story that they tell but you know what is called the fall and you relate and I relate my hiding behind because we insecure chip will be right back Pacific application for today's teaching but if you're just joining us, you're listening to Living on the Edge with shipping room chip stock today is from his series true spirituality becoming a Romans 12 Christian the six part series is about how to move your relationship with God from an antagonistic performance oriented existence to a loving grace filled delightful life. True spirituality is the core discipleship teaching of Living on the Edge in a chip clearly lays out the profile of what an authentic follower of Jesus looks like.

This series is available in several formats, including streaming video with study guide for video previews more format options and ordering details. Just check it out online at http://livingontheedge.org and because we know you're gearing up for fall groups. The group study resources for true spirituality are significantly discounted. Let me say that again for a limited time, the group study resources for true spirituality are significantly discounted. So now would be a great time to jump online and get your group resources ordered. You'll find everything you're looking for@livingontheedge.org or just give us a call at 1-888-333-6003 will chip this series true spirituality has literally gone all around the world. As you look how it came about in all the countries that Living on the Edges to give it to and what you know his plan for the future of the series 1 you think God is given at such impact will Dave be careful here because it is very very humbling and I and I suppose there's part of me.

You know that I could say well because it's my series, kiddo. I taught it, but I think just the opposite is true. I think it's not a personality it's not even a denomination. It's not even a famous something. It's the Bible it's Romans 12 but what comes before Romans 12 is 11 chapters of the greatest theology the gospel it's it's about relationship. It's about grace. It's about this life that we can live it and then Romans 12 tells us how to do it and so I think it's just that it's a clear sort of executive summary of what it looks like I think people long to please God, but we often don't know what does it look like to be a follower of Christ in your relationship with God in the world and yourself and believers and unbelievers and when a group does this together. What we've seen is it's been word-of-mouth.

It's been this change my life. So I want other people to get it and we want people to know you're a group away from life change if you really want to change you want relationship with God and see yourself differently and have deeper relationships with believers and and really know how to respond when one evil one and difficult things happen this series with a group of people we equip you in God's word, by the power of the Holy Spirit to become a Christian.

That really looks like a Christian I really encourage you to get this one and again.

Okay, so today's the day to take advantage of the group study discounts on the series now just a heads up. In addition to true spirituality. There are over 20 other small group studies to pick from all of our study guide bundles are discounted and there are both DVD and video streaming options available to see all the studies and ordering details, head on over to LivingontheEdge.org or if you'd like a little guidance on what might work well for your group. Just give us a call at 1-888-333-6003 again to take advantage of our group study discounts. Visit us online LivingontheEdge.org or talk with one of our customer care representatives at 1888333600310 with some final thoughts. Here's chip as we wrap up today's program.

I'd like you to maybe take just a minute and ponder what you've heard when I talked about Nina the strong in the week. The book and how I learned I was desperately insecure and I think I probably had little too much fun teaching this because I was really intimidated by really powerful, wealthy people in and then I got to her when I saw them, you know, posing and powering up high, had this little funny thing going inside like wow, that dude is really insecure just like me but it freed me up and you are there.

Some of you that are in workplaces or even family relationships who are dealing with life in such a way and you have this picture that you're the only one that has these fears. You're the only one that's insecure or you think weakness or insecurity is something that you know is just unique to you and there's something wrong with you instead of there's something wrong with the human race and because of the fall we have been hiding because of the fall.

We do have shame and only in a number one Christ is the answer, but I've had the opportunity to take. I cannot tell you how many groups of people through this small group study and one of the thing that just blows my mind. Especially with the 20 and 30-year-olds is when we get to a sober self-assessment and people have this moment that I don't have the pose. I don't have to pretend that the most attractive person in all the world is the person God made me it is a freedom. It is so liberating, so can I encourage you maybe listen to this message again, or maybe go to LivingontheEdge.org/R12 and listen to the Q&A or the brief videos on this particular one.

It's absolutely free but this needs to sink from your head to your heart because you know what you get freed up and have a lot more fun in life and just might be a lot more useful to God. Just before we close our thank those of you who make this broadcast possible through your generous giving Living on the Edge invests those dollars to purchase airtime, create programs and provide resources to help Christians live like Christians, if Living on the Edge is been a blessing to you.

Would you prayerfully consider sending a gift today. You can donate online at http://livingontheedge.org or by calling us at 1-888-333-6003. Thank you for your partnership with us will I hope you'll join us again tomorrow is strip continues our current series until Bevis Dave Drewry saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge