Priceless Christmas - Teach Them to Suffer Well, Part 2

Suffering is unavoidable. Let's face it, we live in a fallen world, where main evil exists that how we respond in times of suffering, changes us forever.

You either make us for bringing us? Are you and your children equipped to suffer well. You want to learn how to stay with. Thanks for joining us for this Tuesday edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram Living on the Edges of international teaching and discipleship ministry featuring the Bible teaching of Chip Ingram today.

Chip continues a series I Swiss Christmas by suggesting a gift idea will guarantee you never thought of as a question you like to know you're giving a gift that absolutely perfect time comes. Stick with us for the next 20 minutes to learn exactly how to let's get going, and joint, your poor, part two of his message from first Peter chapter 2. Teach them to suffer well.

The priceless gift. You give those you love this Christmas is this help them to learn to grow through their suffering. You can't put a price tag on it will be worth whatever gift you could fill that box with fresh $100 bills and stack it tightly and I'll guarantee that at the end of the day that will have far less impact long-term on the people you love the most that if you could give them the gift of teaching and suffer well and so with that number one.

Here's how to do it. Teach them to identify what they're concerned about when when we suffer some of us we just mean denial, avoidance, repression, those defense mechanisms. It's the number one way we all respond to suffering and difficulty. It's hard to face it. So you want to help them learn to think about it you want to help them learn to talk about it.

You want to get them literally to write it down. I never kept a journal and early in my Christian life is probably two years and as a Christian in my mind, my dad, mom want through horrendous times.

My dad alcoholism came to a point in time that you know I still remember my mother saying it's this bottle or me and the kids.

My spiritual leader who was a real important person my life. He moved what we had a basketball coaching change I had I had a scholarship with the old coach and a new coach came in and said I needed to try out on everything in my life. Went to what's going on the girlfriend. I thought that I would marry him.

It all for the sink boom boom boom boom to gone when he realizes I was angry and I was bitter and I was resentful and I was mad at God and was met at the coaches met my parents and I couldn't get a clear eye member get one of those little spiral notebooks and on the skin.

Start writing down at least how I feel and that started about a 30 some your journey. If you write it down. You have to get clear and if you can't identify what bothers you, you can't deal with it you can't you can't respond to it. And so, with your kids or with people in your small group. The way to help them identifies ask good questions and for some of you don't try and fix it so quickly. Don't try and avoid the pain for them. Don't step in front and make sure that this never happens to them again asked them questions like what are you feeling right now what what you wish you could change or if it's relational and you can just tell something is wrong is your best friend what you like about all you want to do is you want to start them thinking and talking about relationships who hurt you. You begin to ask questions and then and they listen you want to help them identify what's going on because here's what I can tell you happens in your homes and trees not I think we went to a year of counseling to start to get this when there is a problem with me.

I would shove it down. She would shove it down so many of you in your homes goes like this one of you is kind of funky you know you withdraw little bit you sit on the chair watching the TV paper goes up or your cold with your affection and your mate systems like this honey, what's wrong in the response that they get is nothing, no, no, no, tell me honey like I can tell what's wrong nothing and then you go to bed and one rolls this wine that arose this way and then this this journey so you know why because when you were a kid.

No one taught you to suffer well and to suffer well you have to identify what's going on because it's so painful and because you blame people and we we both to anger. It's a secondary emotion so we both anger we multiply and we both resentment. It causes all kind of stuff inside of you.

Addictions get borne out of that and so you want to help people. Early on, to just identify I feel hurt I feel betrayed I feel used.

I feel like God isn't fair.

I feel sad.

That's where you start and when you do when the greatest gift you give. The second thing is to pray, honestly about it together.

I would encourage you to read the book of Job or read through the Psalms seat. Here's what happens. Our kids go through something and someone makes fun of him at school, work, or up something bad happens like they didn't make the team or have a big break up, especially when they're small, we tell them really crazy things like all that's okay. It doesn't really matter. It will be okay everything's gonna be okay since maybe everything is not to be okay see what you want to do is you want to help them identify.

I'm sad I'm angry I'm hurt they said this about me. I was betrayed daddy. He said that he loved me and I found out he went out with this other girl. Then I found out he slept with her. He said he was a Christian you.

I can understand it. You know I got laid off and there's three people there that came after me and I had seniority but you that need to get on the table and then you need to take that to God and you need to have honest prayers honest prayers go something like this Job that's going on. I'm righteous. I walk with you. It doesn't make sense. I'm angry I'm hurt, I was faithful. Now my kids been killed my riches are gone. My house caved in.

My friends are turned against me.

What is going on.

Your kids need to learn to pray God can take that you read some of those lament Psalms and David just lays it out there, jot down this Psalm one 4518 the Lord is near to those who call upon him, to those who call upon him in truth.

See, you need to have times with your little boys in your little girls in your young adults, were you you get it on the table.

This is what's going on in the new site. Let's let's talk to God about this and then don't pray one of those little Sunday school prayers. Oh dear Jesus, we thank thee that thou was in control of all that goeth and all that cometh help us to feel if better about all these things and make it better soon.

Amen. It's interesting how many times in Scripture that when God sees tears and hearts that are broken. He's near the broken hearted and those that are crushed in spirit and your kidney to hear you say God I don't get this in my hearts broken and I couldn't be more angry and I know you're in control, but I don't see it right now and we need you to show up because what you want is you want the spirit of God in the living God to come take up residence in the midst of the pain and the difficulty in the hurt and he wants to move into that and he wants you to know that there really wasn't any person or anything that can never satisfy. He'll be there with you. Jesus promise was not to the disciples.

It's going to be great.

His promises. I will be with you always, even to the end of the age. With so skewed our theology in this day Jesus is not the self-help genie to make your life or your kids lives work. He is the solemn sovereign creator of the universe that has a purpose is invited us to join him who is all wise, absolutely holy, absolutely just, holy and pure and he says I will be with you in the midst of your difficulty and pain in a fallen world.

I will take these things on a mold these things and will shape things things in such a way that you know me like never before and the are transformed from the inside out like a grain of wheat falling to the earth dies in that it brings forth much fruit he model that force he was rejected. He was spit upon, and yet that's why when you come. Jesus understands third help them share where they are suffering with someone they trust sometimes is apparent or maybe sometimes it's in the small group it's it's an older man, an older woman. Someone has been around the block that there's no substitute for talking with someone that's been where you've been through and they've suffered well through it and other times it's appear you don't get just, you know you need help them get with people you need to get with people that unit there just on the same page and I can share honestly, what's going on in process and then there's other times where you know what it's a professional counselor, a pastor, because you're stuck. I sat with good friend that I was good to meet with and my goal of our meeting was to come to share some things with him. The cure was gives me really great perspective and I just asking sort of in passing as I got my coffee and sat down. So hey tell me little bit about how to go on in the next 70% of our time I got to enter into a very special painful journey as he just mark the anniversary of the death of his son that's been just a year and I just sat with tears flowing down my face and thought, you know, I don't think about the lost people experienced during holidays, I don't.

I'm not attuned to what it's like.

That was this time last year that your mom your dad or your brother, your sister got cancer for lost your job or you lost your company in this holiday season. Yeah it's the bright, you know, we hear all the nice songs and there's a whole groups of people that this is the most difficult time of the year and he said you know I've read a lot about grief and we go way back so we can be absolutely honest you talk about raw egg is a member.

One quote that was so helpful. He says I read recently that a grief shared is divided in half and what you do here is an awful lot of teaching people to suffer well is to do life with them and listen and be there or get them to someone they feel comfortable to really talk to. That's mature. The final way and maybe the most important after the first three or help them align their specific Scripture with their specific situation. And here I want to pressure you just little bit because were living in a day where the Bible even in Bible churches has become sort like oh yeah this is kinda good and you know there's notes here in the PowerPoint on the screen and I go to Bible study here and I get a booklet in the book. Little of the passages in their there is a need for you to be able to sit with your child or someone in your small group when their suffering. What you need to do is you need to be able to open this book and take them to.

This is the issue you're facing. This is the truth because truth sets them free.

It's not just listening and counseling and identifying and sharing they need the truth. It's the power of the spirit of God takes the word of God and he makes it living and he does something in them when I can base it on truth, so to suffer. Well, you need to understand these are the reasons that people suffer and here's the promise that you need to take him to the first night I gave these to you and I did this not to overwhelm you, but your kids are to go through these and these are passages that you need to know well the first one is when they suffer because of external negative circumstances. James 124 me when tough stuff happens you, they say, what am I going to do. I mean it was a brand-new car. The tree fell, it ruined my car. I don't have transportation and you can open the Bible, after you listen to going through it on, say, consider it all joy when you encounter various trials during the testing your faith produces endurance. Let endurance have its perfect and maturing result, he might be perfect, lacking in nothing you can say and of stuff can happen. But our attitude of choice we considered God's in control, and if you need wisdom he's gonna show you what to do in this.

He's gonna show you honey how you can make it through this and then you have to learn at some point in time or they'll blame someone or go into denial.

The second is persecution. Second Timothy 312 you some of your kids that got you there ball they don't know better, and they can identify with Jesus and third or fourth grade and there you get ridiculed and what you don't want to just drive out there all wrong honey or you know what I'm to talk to the principal and teacher what you doing my son about this. What if you open the Bible and you said to him, all those who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted. That's that passage and maybe go back to the sermon on the Mount and you say you know sweetheart I know that's really hard when people do that to you but here's what Jesus said blessed are you when you're persecuted for my sake, and you begin to teach them that it's not about being protected, that there's a cost and there's a price and he'll be with you. You teach him to suffer well. The third is bad choices. There's times where in our kids like us. They do sinful things. Galatians chapter 6 verses seven and eight says God cannot be mocked, were going to reap what we sow. When we sow to the flesh, we reap corruption we so to the spirit life and peace.

There's times where you say what cures a deal you got in the car with those people and one of them was drinking and you got in the rack and you knew you weren't supposed to. And here's the applications and that's what happened in the taking of that passage and so you know were always gonna reap what we sow in your read it and you let them own it and you don't yell you don't scream and why are you doing that an like has that work for you before, and then you take him to first John 19 is that you know what we can we can get back on the right track right now. God promises if we confess our sins he is faithful is just to forgive him cleanse right now you understand if you're going to teach your kids to suffer well they need to begin to see his truth and his word as the bedrock in a fallen world where life is unfair and disappointing and betrayal happens because the Jesus who walked on the earth was treated very unfairly and was betrayed at every turn in its the father in the spirit in him. Living is fully human, and yet fully divine blazing a trail saying follow me and as you do all do things in you and through you, but it's rooted in truth, the fourth is spiritual warfare. Ephesians 610 to 12. There's times where your kids or someone your small group. They are just there, taking great steps literally all hell breaks loose and immediately what if I done wrong or what's with God or and you need to let them know you're in a battle when you start a Bible study at school. When you've gone public with your faith you decided to get in God's word on a regular basis. You taken a step of of real faith with your resources and your finances. Guess what, when you begin to break out of the kingdom of darkness into the chemo like there's a battle going on. This is normal and so you teach them about and how to do spiritual warfare. The last one hears character development.

There's times where just like good earthly fathers, your heavenly father sees things in your life in my life in the heart of your kids right in the arrogance, selfishness, loan, narcissistic consumerism mindset. What in God's kindness and love he actually is bringing some circumstances, like the velvet vice of love to build their character to make an like his son is in Hebrews 1211 says all discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful, but afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. You know what the life message here is coming. Here's the gift you here's a tip. You know you said a lot of different things in the theology of suffering and you said we need to help them identify it and then we need to pray honestly and you know okay I'm I'm kinda getting bad in if I could say learning to suffer well here's the gift. Your kids people in your small group. They grow up with this suffering is normal. That is the absolute antithesis of what most of your children or young Christians, and often not so young Christians believe we are absolutely shocked when things go wrong. What did I do. God, what's the deal. If you don't think suffering is normal. You set your child up or you set yourself up to be devastated. How many people have you heard say something like this will of God loves me wanting to let this happen. Anybody heard that if God really loves me, why let this happen. If you let this happen. What kind of God is that or how could God let this happen. I mean, it does is any all-powerful cockily let this happen to me or how can I ever trust the God that I prayed and I asked Gilman I didn't get in that school. I didn't make the team. I didn't get the girl.

I didn't get the job.

He didn't kill the cancer.

I want you know, there are masses of young people out of our homes and often many of the parents and those that are new in the faith that because they don't know suffering is normal. They believe that God didn't come through.

God doesn't love them.

God is in control and because what they really learned and picked up is it if you're nice little boy or girl Jesus as your self-help genie and if you just do the formula right on the big vending machine of life A2 D4 C7 that your life is just up up up wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, and the fact the matter is nothing could be farther from the truth. Teach your children to suffer well.

Can I put one verse sort of is the bow on this, you can just jot it down or quoted for you. It's Hebrews chapter 5 verse seven and eight it says in the days of his flesh.

This isn't the cross in the days of his flesh, Jesus walking upon the earth. He made loud cries with tears and supplication to his heavenly father.

Did you did you think that side of Jesus Messiah Jesus that you know he had feelings just he was fully human.

He went to his hometown.

He's rejected Heidi think he felt people didn't believe Heidi think he felt he did a miracle they don't respond. Heidi think he felt there trying to kill and Heidi think he felt he pours out his life to Judas any styles about how you think he felt Jesus went alone many times and in tears cried out to his heavenly father as he suffered his great suffering wasn't just on the cross and then verse eight.

All though he was a son, he learned obedience through the things he suffered. Your kids need to learn to obey and trust God and this is a desire to gift the undesired gift of learning suffer well maybe one of the five most precious things ever get chip will be right back. If you're just joining us, you're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram and ships message today. Teach them to suffer well is from his series of priceless Christmas in these five messages you learn what God's word says about handling money making wise choices suffering well. Working unto the Lord, and that failure is never final.

As a parent or grandparent you want to give your child every advantage in life. This series of priceless Christmas gives you the tools you need to help your child develop godly character in all of these areas so I not order a set of CDs or download the free MP3s as a gift to yourself and your family for an amazing new year of growth in the Lord for discount details just visit us online at http://livingontheedge.org or give us a call at 1-888-333-6003, a priceless Christmas.

Get it today which I finally got a powerful application for us in just a minute.

But before we get there you've pastored for over 30 years know when you look at the landscape of America. What's your deepest concern will Dave I have to tell you the thing that keeps me up at night that I'm not just a pastor I'm a father and I'm not just a father, grandfather, I have 12 grandchildren and I have one that's only one years old and I have one that just got their driver's license and so I got a lot of grandfathering to do and I look at the world that my grandchildren are living in. And then I look at the church. I look at the culture. I look at technology.

I look at the moral confusion and here's what I will tell you there is a generation to rescue. We can blame a lot of people.

We can Facebook we can tell everyone what's wrong who ought to do what and why. But I will tell you this, we need to positively step in and rescue a generation. It's getting so many mixed messages and we are Living on the Edge are absolutely committed to being a catalyst to bat happening in America we are going to focus in 2020 on identity issues head on who you are in Christ. What's it mean to be a little girl or not so little girl a little boy or not so little boy. What does the Bible actually say what does the research actually tell us how do you have great relationships when you're bombarded by confusing messages about LGBT, transgender, and you're a parent or grandparent or a pastor and you don't have tools to answer those questions we are gonna hit all of those head on and working to do it and what I believe is the calling of Living on the Edge organa do it with gentleness, with reverence, were going to bring light not heat but working to tell the truth forget to give tools to people to get through this to be strong to be courageous to be bold and to be loving in that context. This is a battle. And this isn't a physical battle. This is a spiritual battle were talking about the souls of kids were talking about a culture that is at a tipping point that's going to go one or two directions. God's word is powerful when Christians lived like Christians.

It's powerful but it's hard at work putting a target on our back and I'm just asking. Would you join us.

We don't have to resign ourselves that will.

This is the way the world is going we can make a difference. God has always raised up a small group of people that are willing to step out and trust them and then he works in supernatural ways.

Here's my question. When you join the battle with this will you're already praying and supporting the ministry of Living on the Edge. Thank you. We couldn't do what we do without you. And if you're ready to step up and join us for increase your commitment today would be a great day to do it. Thanks to a small group of financial partners. Every gift we receive between now and December 31 will be doubled if you been looking for a way to make a difference.

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Just give us a call at 1-888-333-6003. That's 1-888-333-6003, or if you prefer, donate online at http://livingontheedge.org on behalf of Chip and the team here. Thank you in advance for your generosity will now here's chip as we closed today's program. Let's just stop for a minute, let's pause, keep your eyes on the road if you're driving. But let's kinda disengage from information in new ways and just ask ourselves what you really facing or what's wanted your kids really facing. Or maybe it's a mom and dad with cancer or Alzheimer's, and you heard words about suffering in Bible and truth and knowledge, but the fact of the matter is it's really really hard and the only resource the only possibility to suffer well is to know that there is a God who is good, a God who is in control.

A God who is all wise and he loves you and he loves the people that you care about their suffering and so right now together before we go on before the day goes any further work and ask you, holy, holy father in the name of Jesus your son and by the power of your Holy Spirit. Would you bring life and comfort and perspective and endurance. And for some just the perseverance to keep on hanging on to believe and trust in your goodness and God I pray that you do something deep inside of us. Help us to draw near to you.

Help us not to waste the suffering and Lord, thank you that a day is coming when you will return and you will make all wrongs right and suffering will and because of what the Lord Jesus is done on the cross and his resurrection in preparing a place for us even today. Amen. Ill and easy way to hear this message again would be to download the chip and remap will have free access to chips, teaching his message notes and much more. Not only that, but it couldn't be easier to email or give us a call right from the app to download the chipping remap. Just go to the app store or Google play be with us again tomorrow when we continue our current series, Chip and everyone here, this is Dave really saying thanks for listening. this Edition of Living on the Edge