Seasons of Motherhood - Seasons of Motherhood

One of the requests I get all the time is how is your wife doing we hear so much about her. What is she really like what you're in for treatment today have asked my wife to share a message she shared with her church and by the way guys you need to listen to this. Today's message is one you want to get your wives, the ladies put your feet up the seasons of a woman's life you want to get some encouragement today or guys learn about how to love your wife.

Stick with me that's today welcome to this Monday edition of living on the with Chip Ingram Living on the Edges of international teaching and discipleship ministry Bible to earlier today. Japan is the microphone over to his wife, Teresa shares a message on the ups and downs, challenges and joys of residual note guys this might give you some great insight how to encourage and support women don't get to hear all of today's message. It's available on the chip Ingram now appears Teresa Ingram, I want to share with you today.

Just the seasons that I went through as a mom and all of us as moms are a little bit different journeys that we all can relate to some degree all of the seasons in the first season that I went through is the season of beginnings. I was not a Christian when I first became a mom and I was in a marriage at the time that was not working well and was very unstable and it was in the midst of this troubled marriage that my first child was born and I went to the hospital and I was expecting one maybe and I came home with two I had twins and the doctor didn't even know that I was having twins, and so is total shock and now also we were having a lot of problems as as a couple and so it did just continued and got worse during that time. By the time my little boys were nine months old my husband had gotten involved with another woman at his job and soon he packed up his bags and he moved out he left me with two little boys and nine went off and left us with no support and it was just an just a heartbreaking time for me it was a time that I never dreamed that I would ever experience and something that I never wanted to be but I found myself as a single mom taking care of two little boys going to work and trying to provide the needs of two little boys on my own.

It was a time that I cried a lot. I was just so exhausted I was lonely. I was worried about how I was going to pay the bills and take care of these little boys and I felt so inadequate as a mom and II didn't know how I was going to care for these children by myself and how can I give them what they needed in my going to be able to provide both what a mom and a dad could be to these children and I thought the questions during that time and lots of fears that God did something wonderful for me.

He reached into my broken world. He revealed himself to me in my brokenness and my life began to change and says this is another new beginning. I became a mom and I became a child of God, and it was during this time that God allowed me to be with a group us very tiny group of women in the basement of us a Free Methodist Church and I learned how to pray and he showed me that I could run to him every day and I could spend time with him in prayer and just simple words asking him for what I needed and he would answer and he showed me that he would be sufficient to meet every need that I had just when I needed it and that he wanted to be the father to my father this children that he would make up the slack and whatever.

I couldn't give them and he showed me that he would be my companion when I was feeling very lonely and I needed someone to my side that he would be there in one of the most special answers to prayer that I had during that time in praying for companionship was one evening I put my little boys and dad and I went in the living room and I was just so sad and so lonely this evening and I just I just wanted to be with someone and I just cried out to the Lord. I am so lonely, which is just bring someone to visit me and not long after I had prayed that prayer there was a knock on my door and I couldn't believe and first the first thing that came to my mind was this is going to be my knight in shining armor that tall dark handsome knight in shining armor that's coming to rescue me and he's going to sweep me off my feet and me and take care of my kids and and now this is going to God's provision for my life. But when I opened the door. There was no knight in shining armor, but it was Edith. It was my next-door neighbor and she was an older lady and she was very short and she was overweight and she was divorced. She was living alone she wasn't anything at all like what I expected God to bring to my door, but she knows she became one of the greatest blessings of my life. Edith became my closest friend and she lived next door so we could spend lots of time together and she was greatest encouragement in my life during that time she was just what I needed and God says in John 15 seven that if we will be in his word and if we will walk with him that he will answer our prayers in amazing ways that the promise. The promise from his word that he wants to answer our prayers. We cry out to him season number two I call my quiver is full with full-time mothering. Later on I met Shep and we were married and he adopted my two little boys and then we had to other children and during this season of my life.

I just felt like my quiver was full and I just cannot deny.

I enjoyed every moment of being a mom and neither Chip nor I had grown up in Christian homes. In fact, both of our dads were alcoholics. As we grew up in.

We both became Christians when we were adults, so we know what a Christian home look like we didn't know how to be a Christian. Mom and dad and so we made mistakes during those years and we didn't always agree on how to handle our parenting how to discipline the children and silly sometimes we had conflict about that in and really had to work through those issues, but I did learn that God wanted to be my number one teacher as to how to be a mom and he wanted his word the Bible to be my number one handbook and how to be a mom and he was using many different things to teach me during during that time he he brought women into my life and I I learned from them how to be a godly mom and I read lots of books on parenting and and he was teaching me just through life experiences and and lots of as life experiences were just mistakes that I made her we made as a couple and I learned through those and I learned how to handle it God's way and I realized that the only way that I could hear God speak to me. The only way that I could know his truth was named his word on a daily basis and so even when my children were babies, a priority of my life was to spend time with God and his word nearly every day I realize some days you can't but nearly every day. That was that was flat. I try to do is to spend time in God's word and it is hard when you have little ones in your home when you're young mom and there's babies crying and children running all over the place. Lots of things to do, but I would get up early. I would sometimes have time in the word when they were having their naps. Sometimes it was when toys are all over the floor in the house is a mess and they were occupy planet I can open up God's word and I could read and I can pray and sometimes it was only for five or 10 minutes matter doesn't matter to God's relationship the candles he knew my heart he understands young mom's. He understands the pressures that we have in and all the things we need to do because of that because I didn't care where it was redoing. I spent time with the largest they saw me being his word and they solemnly pray and they currently pray for them and so I think it became evident to our children that God was the center of our home that he was the center of our parenting in her home life and that's who we were living for my foundation verse. During this time was Deuteronomy 5 Deuteronomy 6527 and it says and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your mind and with all your soul and with all your strength, and he goes on to say in these words, which I'm commanding you today, shall be on your heart and you shall teach them diligently to your children. God says to month. We need to teach our children. We need to make an effort to teach our children.

His word to spend time with them and it goes on to say, and you shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, lie down when you rise up. And he's talking about a lifestyle here that it's just who we are that we are followers of Jesus that we are moms love the Lord and it just comes out and who we are and as we walk and follow after Jesus, our children will see God's truth in us and I think the greatest tool that we have as mothers is our own life.

The greatest tool in teaching our children and us. We love the Lord and his were obedient to his word and is we love our children and we teach them his word.

We model Christ likeness to them in in just the most powerful way, and some others. We need to remember that our children are watching us all the time and how we handle life and if we want them to live the way we live and we need to follow Jesus and live the way he laughed was season three. I called giving them weightings and moms leave spent 18+ years nurturing our children protecting them, teaching them, helping them to prepare for adulthood and then it comes at day when it's time for them to spread their wings into to get out on their own and it's time for them to graduate from high school go off to college or go off to a job in an and they're excited sometimes maybe a small quite ready for this to happen. Our hearts are quite prepared for it, and three of my four children went a long ways to college. They are two of them clear across the country and each time one of them left my nest.

The security of my nest.

I just grieved so much over that loss.

I felt and I was so sad for long time and I knew it is constantly in that they leave. It's God's plan that they spread their wings, and I wouldn't have it any other way but my heart ache so much. Every time that happened within the Lord taught me something really wonderful is brought such comfort to my life and one time I put took one of my sons. We flew him to from California to Chicago to go to school, got them all set up, flew back home and in my I was just so sad and that morning the next morning I got up night always have my quiet time in the morning and I opened up my Bible and I just remember so clearly that day I was sitting on the floor and the sun was coming in and I just opened up the word and I was reading in John 19 and this is the passage where Jesus is hanging on the cross. He's been crucified and it's it's at the most amazing time of his life because he all the sin and the weight of the world is on him and he's in extreme pain and as he's hanging on the cross, he gets something I thought was amazing.

He looked and he saw his mother and this is what he said in John 1925, standing near the cross was Jesus mother. When Jesus saw his mother standing there beside the disciple that he lied and that was John.

He sent her dear woman this is your son talking to John and then he said to his disciple, here is your not, and from then on, the disciple John took Jesus mother into his home was just so amazed at how Jesus cared for his mom even even at this time. This is this is that this is what he came to the earth to do. And at this most amazing time of his life he care about his mom and he made sure that she was taken care of and I thought it Jesus cares for mother's he cares about how we feel. He cares about our grief.

He cares about the losses that we experience, and he has a plan for our children and their future bay also has a plan for me and for us as moms and in my life is over. Sometimes I felt like it was over that my life wasn't over when the children left the home and now it's time for them to go into the world to spread their wings and all that I have taught them into action, and such an amazing time for us to be able to watch our children go out there and learn to trust God on their own and it was during this season that the Lord taught me to surrender my children to him every day because I couldn't be there. I can be there to make sure they were doing okay and I couldn't be there to make sure they were safe and that they had everything they needed. So I had to entrust them to give them over to the Lord. The only one who can keep them safe.

The only one who knew their hearts and can provide what they needed and what I can do for them now. The best thing that I can do would be to pray for them to bring that power of God and heaven on earth into their lives every day, every single day and that God would help them and provide for them until I prayed and I prayed about everything season.

Number four is where on that right now and I call it adult children. The emptiness I think this is the true emptiness, but I realize that being a mom never changes me. I'm still a mom always be a mom and God is still the same to me as he was when they were little. He still sufficient to meet all my needs and he still teaching me and he still reading me he still has work for me to do a few years ago I was thinking and praying about what does it look like now that my children are grown and have their own families and in you. What does it really look like to be a mom Christian mom to grown children and and and as I was praying I was in the Lord listened and he gave me some guidelines to go by that I wrote down on a card that morning and earth of the really simple but I think God's success in simple ways that we can understand and I would like to share those with you today. These are my guidelines from the Lord. Number one is and you probably could guess this but God says for us to pray for our children to pray for them every day and I pray for them to grow in their relationship with the Lord to know how much he loves them, cares for them and I pray that they would experience his power in their lives. And I pray that they would be fruit bearing vines in his kingdom that they would make a difference for God number two is to encourage them spiritually as God would give me opportunity and it may be through a word that I speak it may be through a card that I put in the mail may be through book that I give them. It may be through my own life, or if they ask for counsel and I can keep them counsel from the word, but to point them to Jesus as much as I can point them to Jesus. Number three is to be a good role model to live a Christlike life they would want to imitate. And that goes on until the day we tell him I that we need to model Christ likeness to our children and number four is to have fun with them as God allows us to do that. Number five is to communicate deeply and meaningfully with our children. Yes, sometimes it's easy just to talk about surfacing things about the weather or thereabouts. Boards are how often the babies are feeding on this.

It's easy to talk about those things that we need to go deeper with our children and to communicate meaningfully to them and asked them how they're doing. Asked them what God is teaching them somewhere they're struggling asked them what is the most exciting thing that's happened in their life lately ask and what you can pray for them and so communicate. Think of questions to ask or you can go deeper with your children have meet more meaningful conversation and number five is to stay in touch regularly with them to stay in touch even if it's not the easiest thing.

One of our sons lives in Nashville and and with two of our low grandkids and and is not the easiest to stay in touch and so we may have to make an effort to do that to keep in touch with him and go visit and be a part of their lives in my verse is to trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding ECR realize I can't do it on. I can't mother them the way God wants me to, but God can.

And he wants to use me. He wants to live his life through me to do that for my children to trust in him with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. In all my ways acknowledge him and he will make my paths straight. He will show me what to do when I don't know what to do.

And lastly, the last season. I'm not quite there yet but I caught the season of old age and I have the promise of God's given me a promise for that season, and it's from Isaiah 46 four and it says even to your old age. I will be the same even to your grade in years.

I will bear you I had done it and I will carry you I will bear you and I will deliver you, same desk, even to your old age going to change. I'm going to be the same to you. His promises never fail us offer and he says he will sustain us through all of our lives to the time that we are conceived in her mother's womb until the time that we are in in her own age and he will be watching over his own that he protects us some moms I just want to say to you today. I hope you can realize to some degree. How much God how much here's every season on the trip and our special guest strips wife Teresa voted helpful for message. The seasons of motherhood is available on wall LivingontheEdge.org this message actually kicks off our entire month of teaching all about relationships tomorrow.

Trip launches his new series God's wisdom for building great relationships every Friday this month will pause to chip has a chance to answer your questions. If you have a question for Chip. You consented to trip up LivingontheEdge.org or obviously will be able to get every question that comes in between them Friday your trip sensors to relationship questions you've shared those it might be one of yours culture before you get your final thoughts today. Is there anything in particular that you saw Teresa do the really helped her anything you could pass will Dave absolutely in fact she would get these cards out and those of you who know little bit more of our story. Know that you came from a very very challenging home life and then went through some just radical rejection and so her self-image. In view of herself was so low that when we were in marriage counseling and we were struggling through issues early in our marriage. We realize that, I believe, lies, and she believe lies in the lies that she believed were causing her, not just to feel bad about herself, but it affected our whole family and I watched her begin to write down these lies on one side of the card and make a little stop sign and then flipped the card over and ride the affirming truth about who she really was and how God really sees urban and then there would be one passage in you know we were in counseling together. The time earlier marriage and so we would review these cards every morning together for about two years and literally when you renew your mind like that. It just transformed her life and actually transformed mine.

It would be something on a card that might say something like you know I don't measure up.

The matter how hard I try. So why try stop. The truth is you already measure up, because who you are in Christ are deeply loved. Just as you are. And then there would be a passage is so little by little these cards.

People started asking about them.

And so we created these affirmation cards for women the cards that are designed to bless and encourage women that they will identify probably the top 10 or more lies that women believe and then I will tell you, as is your daughter as your wife, or as you review these cards. It will help you be the mother. You long to be.

Let me encourage you pick up these cards, you will be glad you did fix trip will the card strips talking about our affirmation cards are a beautiful little set with the truth from God's word about who we are in Christ. When we battle the lies about our self worth and value.

Take a look at them. Just go to LivingontheEdge.org order your set today and maybe want to encourage someone you know there are great little gift. Just go to LivingontheEdge.org or give us a call at 1-888-333-6003 without her strip with a final thought as we close today's program on just stop for a moment and say thank you Teresa for sharing with us in and let me speak both to men and women now guys. I hope you didn't tuned out on me because you know what there's a lot of what my wife said that we as men really don't get and there's two things I hear Teresa saying and more than saying it. I watched her model this and live this out for over 30 years with tiny little kids when she was overwhelmed and at one point we had three teenagers and then we had dinner two or three in college and here's what I can tell you Teresa has come to believe that God really loves her and that she's come to pursue and understand and experience that love is our number one priority and ladies. I know there's issues and you wish your husband was different are some of your single and which were married in some of your going through very difficult time right now. I think what God wants you to hear through Teresa today is that he loves you and he's the answer to your problems. He's the answer to your future and then your responses pursue him, seek him with all your heart and I know it's hard. I know it's difficult but I have lived with a woman that whether she had to get up at 430 or five in the morning to meet with God, we had two or three little ones, or whether she was overwhelmed with all the demands living with someone like me.

She has persistently said I'm going to make time with God I'm gonna pray from my heart. I'm going to get connected with other women and I'm going to grow spiritually and what I will tell you is it's the best gift that she's given to me. The other thing I would say gentleman is you need to encourage or you need to help her, you need to take the kids. You need to give her some room and let her know that she's valued and that she's not only loved by God, but she's loved by you. You need to help your wife or the women in your life become women who understand they are precious in God's sight. Just before we close.

Let me remind you about the affirmation cards Chip mentioned earlier maybe jump online and take a look at those now. You'll find them@livingontheedge.org and maybe set a reminder for the next few Fridays when trip will be with us in studio, to answer your questions all about relationships.

Until next time. This is say thanks for listening to the submission of living on the