I Choose Peace - In Relational Conflict, Part 1

Are you getting cabin is this all coronavirus thing. Have you a little too close to the people that you love well conflict just happens when were this close together, and you need to know how to resolve that's today living on the stay with welcome to this Edition of Living on the Edge trip and Living on the Edges of international discipleship ministry in the Bible this program to begin the series I choose because let's face go a long way right.

I choose pieces, a series that directly addresses issues like relational conflict, financial uncertainty and tests of you find yourself struggling in any of these areas find practical biblical answers over the next couple of weeks to what you're dealing just before we get started, let me encourage you to try using chips message notes while you listen to click download when you go to LivingontheEdge.org click listen now Billing notes on the both of you have a Bible open it down to Philippians chapter 4.

Let's join Chip for his message. I choose peace and relational conflict.

The title of the series called I choose peace because peace is a gift and it's a choice, and you can have it.

If you've never had it. But here's what I can also tell you, as a follower of Jesus, I experience that piece and I've actually figured out ways to quench it so I don't experience it.

I learned how to worry. I learned how to be uptight and learn how to focus on the future.

I learned to get in conflict with other Christians and other people including my wife were that piece just dissipates.

I'm guessing some of you had that excuse me, Lord. I'm checking out this place on the only one that is not okay. So working to learn how to do that to begin thinking is there any relational conflict in your family when your kids roommate at work. Neighbor, because we can talk about how you can choose peace and literally experience restoration. There's three approaches are what I would say there's three sources of peace and I mean by sources. What I say when I'm Dennis.

I don't think everything is terrible or wrong with a couple of these things are some great skills but as a source one source and in our day would be. Peace is within you. You just need to discover its inward keywords would be meditation relaxation. You need to center okay and that the piece is your harmony with the cosmos, but where you need to look for peace is within the second source we are told about peace is an outward. Words like she's conquer control perform another words the PC is out there. You need to accomplish this, conquer that you need to get into a good school, get great grades find the right person get a great job live in a nice home drive a nice car achieve certain things have certain amount of money and somehow, someday, as you do all those things and you achieve and conquer and perform then your desires and your circumstances will align and then someday you have peace.

That's the Western way the American way. The first is more Eastern.

Now don't get me wrong. Are there some good things we learn about maybe breathing to take away stress or stretching or is there goals that we that we learn from sort of achieving and growing. I'm talking about the source movie came out and told the story of the richest man in the world. The time J Paul Getty is called all the money in the world, and in 1973 he was the richest person in the world is bringing about the oil business alone 20 million a day. And the story goes on of a man who's consumed with money.

I had five divorces and it's interesting near the end of his life.

I mean if if the outward could deliver this guy has everything the end of his life.

He said you have any regrets that I have to. I was not on speaking terms with his children. I would give all the money. Think about all the money away tomorrow for one good marriage and personal peace in my heart can buy those Kenya but even as followers of Christ. You cannot experience this. The third is the upward.

It's words like trust depend abide words like faith and love, obey, see peace of God is some ethereal something that you can discover with alignment that it's not achieving things.

Peace is actually a person. Jesus said my peace I give to you not as the world gives. But, my peace I give to you.

In other words, when I returned I did know this happened from my sin and I invited Christ to come into my life and forgive me. He takes up residence and he sealed me by spirit, in the person of Jesus in the person of the Holy Spirit lives in you.

And there's a control in the goodness in a calm. In fact, the fruit of the Spirit is love, and joy. So as I'm abiding whether circumstances are up or down relationships good or bad. The stock market goes north herself. There's a supernatural peace. The Bible says that transcends understanding that he will keep you in perfect peace that your mind is stayed on him because you trust him, that's for talking about what, when, when the world or the dictionary defines peace. It's usually the absence of things notice up the definition in your notes it's the absence of disturbance and hostility.

It's free from internal and external strife.

In other words, we think peace is just it's called words, getting along. There's no big thing out there for there's no big conflict within here the word peace and the kind of peace working to learn about and choose and enjoy is a piece that is is is not just the external or just internal it's something that God adds the Hebrew word is shalom and we know it means peace, but the word shalom is way, way bigger. There's four aspects of shalom.

First, it's the complete soundness or wholeness of hell.

It's a piece of your mind, your body and your emotions. Second, it's harmony and relationships you have shalom in your marriage. Shalom with your neighbors.

You have shalom at work you have shalom with the body of Christ. Third, its success or progress with your purpose. In other words, there is great peace and I was made to do this. I'm in line with the creator of what he made me to do and I'm I have ups and downs but I'm doing it and there's a piece there's people to spend their whole life wondering should I be in this job. Should we really live here. Should I do that there's no peace and and there's the promo there's always a fear of missing out to be doing this old oak leaves you doing this and have this asset going around. Peace may be the greatest thing God could ever give you and if you're a follower, you have it's a choice back to shalom's victory over your enemies is the God will protect you, Jesus. Last words on the last night he said to his disciples. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give as the world gives in and what a great line for us, the world works that do not let your heart be troubled.

Don't be afraid. Let not your heart be troubled, can I just ask you to ask yourself is your heart troubled me for real are you afraid you find yourself watching the news or hearing information.

You're worried about your job or convinced in your mind you're never gonna get married or convinced that the marriage you have is never to be any good or right you understand you can let your whole life with a supernatural peace is a follower of Christ available and not choose it. And so were going to go through the five things that rob us of our peace in Philippians chapter 4 and the first one is conflict in the relationship.

There's a question on the bottom of the page. See, this could end up a seminar you can make all this is really interesting information, and I took psych 201 is a lot of principles here and all this is really good and in the end of this in the seminar. Here's here's the deal, who in your relational network.

Are you at odds with if you had to come up with a person. The mom and dad, a brother or sister wanted her kids a roommate, a neighbor, a fellow worker if there someone that you could just whisper oh God is. Some of them there so in the past. We put you down. It was a brother-in-law it's an ex-mate, there's issues and what happens if you don't deal with poison and and hostility and lack of relationship health. Bad stuff happens to your stomach and your migraines and your soul more than a walk through a process that the Bible will give about how to get peace when you have relational conflicts. I want you to think about who would you really like to have peace with who would you like to say as far as it depends on you. I'm not saying that there's reconciliation and everything's can be wonderful.

But as far as it depends on you, who because I want you to listen through the lens of that person. Now for some of you. It's your mate and they're not here in your first thought is well. I wish they were here he really needs to hear this or she really is here. This because, like me, 95% of all my relational problems are someone else's phone right and honest with how we think you're listening to living on the shipping chip will be right back. But we want you to know that we have a convenient way for you to access trips teaching the chip and remap delivers daily programs, chips, interactive message notes and much more will now your strip with the rest of today's talk so many of our relationship with my supervisor, my boss of one of my kids and my mom and my dad you know if she or he would just right not to get with the program. We have a great relationship, the person in the right and they're totally messed up and we never say quite like that. We just feel it and we have emotions and anger and resentment. What you have in Philippians chapter 4 in the context is this.

There's a man in prison. Name the apostle Paul. There's a church that he loves deeply. He's been in prison. There the church grew. There's a deep connection God did amazing things.

And now there's some some struggles in the church. Some people at the end of chapter 3. Or, drifting away from the Lord that there's some conflict working to find with people within the church enemy and he loves them. I mean he so loves them and he wanted to remind him there's hope and there's persecution even in the midst of this world and he reminded the end of chapter 3 that you know what Jesus really is coming back. There is a heaven it's real.

There's a reality that the only sure hope in the world that we live in is is laying hold of our citizenship really is in heaven but were to live out this life dramatically different on earth.

So we talked about that and I was going to say it, it's more than just your individual life kind of walking faithfully with God. He says there is a relationship problem. There's relational conflict he's going to address it in verse one what I want you to listen. For instance, heart ask yourself, is he mad is he angry. It is this is this God saying What the program verse one.

Therefore, my brothers, in whom I love and I long for my joy and my crown. That is how you should stand firm in the Lord dear friends, we just circle the word in your notes. Love long for joy. Crown, which would put a box around stand firm. He's saying we have this hope we have this piece God so loves us. He wants us to walk this out together. So I love you and I care for you and what I'm about to say I'm not down on anyone, but when you don't experience corporately or individually. The peace that God has already granted.

It breaks my heart. A sword of the spirit is what you stand firm and you know where you're going to have this hope and now he's going to have a requester literally a plea of two ladies that are not getting along. I plead with you, you owe to you and I plead with you, since Vicki to agree with each other in the Lord. Circle the word to agree to very interesting Greek word means to be of the same mind to think the same thoughts. What we know where to learn is both these are really good women. This is a good person and a bad person that what we know from this context is not a moral issue is not a doctrinal issue, but we have two powerhouse people in this local church who been greatly used of God and some things happen that they are not getting along, and we keep people in a small group key people in the house, mom or dad to roommates whatever it is when you don't get along someone what to do.

The effects of the people, so he has a plea in verse three he says yes and I ask you, loyal joke fellow help these women would you circle the word help sometimes and relational conflict no matter what you do.

It doesn't get better. You need help and then who are these women. These women who have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel along with Clement and the rest. My fellow workers and whose names are in the book of life. We learn to think about these women. One night contended. I think he's saying Eileen my right hand.

My left hand. These are women that prayed in today and gave and we were in the midst of persecution in the church got birthed and I love them both and their great people. There's no bad person here. In fact, I'm absolutely certain their names written the book of life, but they can't get along. Many translators take the meaning of the name which is a loyal joke fellow and the word literally means someone that can take two oxen and have them be in harmony and walk together what he saying is that a problem common or small group, nurtured figure, and family.

These people are at each other. They have resentment they have heard it's affecting the church. I'm asking someone competent can you sit down with them.

Probably some of the gift of exhortation and a wise counselor and can help in verse four he gives a commandment concerning the relational focus is when there's conflict would he do anything about alt.you think that this person write you driving your car have anger fantasies. You know she did that she did that you replant your mind. She said that she did that. I can't believe that you know her in-laws every time they come. She's depressed for three weeks afterwards.

It's not a good idea. You know right okay I bring up one more time.

We don't have sex as often as I would like, and she blows up in the hidden of people yet is this real stuff this is real stuff. So life works and he sends what you do is you get fixated. You might have 90% of your relationship with this person is good that man this is once once you get fixated on this, then you know what they go from being a disagreement to that person you demonize them supervisor I member. 10 years ago, he made another mistake.

I think this whole company is in trouble because that night and he's my boss right.

She said that she gripped that when I membership to and all the sudden you take all the dots of you relational hurt and you rearrange them in their the bad person and you're like me, it's 5% our fault. 95%.

Therefore, and then you harden your heart and so here's the command it's a command modeling rejoice in the Lord.

And again, I'll say it and rejoice in what he saying get vertical get off of them and the problem he saying this will not only to the two ladies but to the whole church is when there's a fight.

When we do I money you owe to your side. I'm on Cindy's side in a family. Even the kids, mom, dad, mom, so I guess you know right in a small group at work because one thing we don't do as we often notably Scripture, we have a problem of the person for what we do is we we find two or three people that usually agree with this and if disco coffee shop sometime in an act like you have your funds on just listened and just listening.

But it's really fun to 8% of the conversations but I don't know what is thinking you know you and he plays golf three times a week and he expects me to take care of malevolent will my roommate you know what in the refrigerator.

This is my side as a source I got paid for everything.

This is what you did in my supervisor. I think he's on drugs you know you got people talking about someone else. They want to do gasoline on the fire just joining us, listening to living on the with shipping chips message today is from his series, I choose. If you're feeling the burdens of life, pressing in the thought of a little more peace. Sounds good. This series I choose peace will help you get there to order your copy of I choose peace or to send a set to a friend. Just visit us online at http://livingontheedge.org. Another easy way to assure this program is with the Chip Ingram map or if you'd like to talk with someone over the phone. Just give us a call at 1-888-333-6003.

That's 1-888-333-6003. I'll be right back in just a minute but I want you to know that in this critical time peace is something that God offers. And it's something that you choose.

He wants to give us peace. He wants to give us peace in our relationships in times of anxiety. He was to give us peace with regard try finance piece about the future and that's what were going to study today. We talked about relationships and let me encourage you to join us in what we call low at home. Mealtime we've really put together something so that as you all come together and are eating meals together.

I realize a lot of it is either home-cooked or take out right now but as you eat those meals together. We want to provide some basic help to have conversations that go a little bit deeper. This is a time where God can bring your family together and when you have positive interaction with one another. It really helps reduce all the conflict that can happen at other times, so loaded home go on our website LivingontheEdge.org and you can find exactly what you need to have great conversations around the table. It's also available on the Chip Ingram map so let us help you develop great relationships during this really challenging time effects.

Chip Loach is our way of saying, living on the show because why make it forwards when one so much easier.

So it's L OTE load at home because we know so many of you are right now. You'll find load at home when you go to LivingontheEdge.org or the Chip Ingram map. Not only will you see the mealtime ideas which will find direct coaching from Chip on how to get into Scripture and you'll find updates on her Facebook live events which are a way for you to interact real time encouraging one another to live out your faith in times of real stress and hardship. We can't wait to meet you there load at home@livingontheedge.org or on the Chip Ingram map as we close today's program. I can't help but believe that many of you have had a person come to your mind you, I've talked about relational conflict in you for some of you at your marriage. For some it's a roommate for others is one of your your kids are especially maybe wanted your grown kids for other people. It's like � that person at work or unit of you been next to this neighbor your person in the apartment complex.

There's so many opportunities that even as I brought up all these issues about relational conflict that can pop into your mind.

And then there's one that I think really gets us as Christians, it's that person in your Bible study or the person you see it church or even one of the Sunday school classes and you feel so bad and so guilty about it and it just makes you so frustrated because Christians are supposed to get along.

I mean you had this unconscious belief or expectation that there are Christian, why don't they act like one. And then you feel guilty about some of the thoughts and feelings and attitudes and bitterness and resentment and I think this passage is really helpful because what if now don't get me wrong, there is Christians that do really mean bad terrible things I'm with you. I am one of the descriptions that I actually have done some of those things on bad days when Chip is in control instead of the Holy Spirit, but all conflict isn't because someone's bad I love this passage where the apostle Paul introduces these two women. He describes them both really as women who love God serving the church really care and yet they have bad chemistry. They have bad personalities. They look at things differently. Yeah, I'm mindful of that passage where the apostle Paul and Barnabas have such a sharp conflict that they have to part ways, and as you read it carefully. I don't think there's a bad or wrong person. Paul's thinking of his responsibility. The big picture. The mission Barnabas is gifted differently. He's thinking about the concerns for an individual, John Mark someone needs to help them both those things are true.

Here's what I want to tell you what if instead of blaming this person having resentment you had some specific ways very specific game plan to bring about resolution to this conflict part of it might be something that happens and you part of it might be something that you can think a bit differently and part of it could be what you actually do with this other person in our next broadcast, I'm gonna give you five specific ways to resolve conflict. Their biblical there effective and they actually work until then I want you to just pray for that person ought you to pray that God will bless and God encourage him and I want you to pray God, if there's anything you want to show me, show me. And as you own your stuff. I guarantee God's gonna work see in our next broadcast will just before we close all remind you about a great way to connect with us of Living on the Edge. It's called load at home L OTE for Living on the Edge and at home, because we know so many of you are right now you find mealtime ideas for how to have fun, thoughtful conversations around the table, you're gonna find Chip's personal coaching on how to read Scripture in a way that you actually get something out of it and you'll find updates on our Facebook live events for all this and more. Just go to LivingontheEdge.org or the Chip Ingram map and look for load at home will for everyone here is saying thanks for joining us for this Edition of Living on the Edge