The Book of 1 Timothy - Step Into!, Part 1

Have a question for you on a scale of 1 to 10 how emotionally intelligent are you start today's program with the story of how my lack of emotional intelligence, literally almost destroyed my ministry don't want to miss. Welcome to this edition of living will be good Chip Ingram the mission of these daily programs is to intentionally disciple Christians the Bible to where the middle of our brand-new series. The book of first Timothy life coaching from the apostle Paul. So far chips highlighted support lessons. This program will deal with how to interact with the godly way and what it means to step into conversations now after the teaching triple shares of extra insight. What is learned in this area, so be sure to stick around to turn your Bibles know the first Timothy chapter 5 and let's join Chip for his talk coaching Tip number five from the apostle policy gives us some life coaching as he talked to that young man, Timothy, is that no amount of gift or brains can make up for a lack of emotional intelligence. One of the dangers of getting really clear.

Getting very focused focusing saying this is what God wants me to do it. As you can like run over people on the journey. You can be insensitive to what's going on around you. You can do the very right thing in the very wrong way or the wrong time and you can actually blow up a God wants to do. I have so many illustrations of how I've done this I don't know where to begin, but I was a young pastor in the southern part of the country was until I went to this church. I realize that people in America still had a concept of the North and the South. I mean I didn't drop in that world and it was, you know, and you've heard of mega-churches. This is what is called a mini church.

They had about 35 people on a good Sunday. That was a different world. Guns in the back of pickup trucks guys were in John Deere hats and when I would walk into the one and only restaurant at the time they would whisper like this so that everyone could hear and outthink absent new preacher boy and so I we started little good news club at our house. It was a very, mixed neighborhood. There was no zoning and so it was just all kind of different houses that had been jammed together over a period of 50 years and so there was black kids and Hispanic kids and white kids, and in my two in this very very exciting for me since little good news club is almost as big as a church and so I thought. It behooves me to pile all of them in a van or two and take him out to our Wednesday night service area of six people who usually showed up. And so my wife is not a great disciplinarian of our kids has like 12 kids of multicolor's in the next room, creating unbelievable chaos is on the new pastor teaching these six people on Wednesday night got a call the next couple days telling me that this is really not what were looking for in our church and in my zeal to be heard instead of to hear. In my zeal to make sure they understood instead of to start with understanding.

I made all the assumptions that you know this buyers prejudice racial small town in the south that really you know and you know, so how could they in these kids. No one cares about them. But I care about them was their racism. Yes, I was there bias.

Yes I did. Had I build any trust no. Was I arrogant and zealous. Yes. Did I assume that all the problem was the color of the kids instead of the fact that we could hear them bouncing off the walls in the next room.

Yes and I'll never forget sitting in my driveway. He became a mentor and then to this day's a father figure. We been close. We talk or text every week for the last 39 years, and he sat in the driveway with me and listen.

He said Chip I know you haven't lived in this part of the country and I want you know that your you're right, there certainly is bias and racism and prejudice.

He said, but you know sometimes you can win a battle and lose the war that these people don't know you, they don't trust you and if I can say it in the nicest way possible.

How you went about trying to solve that problem created as much or more problems than the one you wanted to solve young man. I am so for you and there's such a bright future here, but you can understand there is a nuance and there's a way to introduce the right things at the right time, when there's trust built.

You don't know these people and until you build some bridges with them. They're probably not can hear some of the people that the Russ I mean ever so angry when I brought those kids and talk to me about how the races don't mix in this part of the country. I remember God. It was as hardened, amazing cabinetmaker and will never forget watching Jerry with little eight-year-old African-American boy him teaching him and watching how God changed his heart so that older man knew emotional intelligence is the ability to relate to people in a way where you understand where they're coming from and how to do the right thing at the right time in the right way and I like to say that because of that one lesson I've just been very emotional intelligence.

The rest of my life. I have many more stories of where I've blown it and I'm just gonna let you sit on the be a couple of your own is what the apostle Paul is going to now say to Timothy is okay.

I said, you gotta step up right okay okay Paul amen I'm in, I'm okay. But then you kneel down you gotta step down your prayer. Okay long term gonna develop character Timothy what you gotta do is you got it, and it can't be, not just preaching messages you've got to develop leaders. The two things that every pastor needs to know that you can never delegate is the teaching of God's word you're responsible for that and have to develop leaders. Everything else and then he says, by the way you set an example.

You gotta live this out. You gotta be godly and then in chapter 5. He's basically a cellular Timothy you're young and there's a way to relate to people.

This can allow this to be successful because like every church I've got some reports, some of the older people were little concerned about you. It seems like there's been a couple accusations about some false teachers but also some elders and what I want to do is I want to help you learn how to relate in the right way to all the kind of different people.

So if you open up to first Timothy chapter 5, let's continue Paul's coaching to Timothy Noble talk about the application to us. First, he's going first two verses is the essay look Timothy in general.

Here's how to relate to everybody in the church do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appealed to him as a father into the younger men as brothers to the older women as mothers into the younger women as sisters and all purity to hear what he saying to you, Timothy. There's there's people that are older, there's men that you can do life with others.

There's the older women and date they have needs and this is how you respect them. Be very careful what your age. The younger women. Make sure you you do with them as sisters, not objects, and in all purity and you don't get a there's some older man that paid there's issues that you need to deal with. Don't don't don't harshly rebuke them that's not how you build a relationship that's not how you address difficult issues. The early church was very hands on the apostles were serving food and bread and got overwhelmed and then they assigned a leadership team later many would think are called deacons so so now in this church. It's not just that you have preaching and teaching and discipling. There's a lot of really practical issues about will how to handle the money and where are all the needs and so one of the big one was what would we do with Windows. We weren't working overwhelmed. We don't have enough money who's a widow who's a legitimate widow. Here's what I want you to get think through what is this older man saying to this younger man about a number of delicate situations because of principles embedded about how to deal with some tricky stuff and so keep verse three honor. Notice the word honor widows and then who are actually widows, but if any widow has children or grandchildren. They must first learn to show proper respect for their own family and they give that compensation to their parents for this is acceptable in the sight of God to honor widows literally what is not known. A single phrase were actually what is what that require discernment evaluation. Make sure the responsibility goes to the right people. So now you got a set of circumstances where I need to talk to someone's kids or grandkids and say I know I know your father, grandfather died, but the way the church needs to work is you all need to take responsibility for that.

That's not a church issue and then he goes on now. She was actually a widow and has been left alone and set her hope on God.

She continues and requests and prayers night and day.

But she who indulges herself in.

Luxury is dead even while she still lives soliciting others.

Here's how to discern between the widows are actually widows that need the churches help those are sorta playing us if you will give these instructions as well so that notice he keeps coming back to this phrase so that they may be above reproach in the early church. They were condemned from every side by the government. It was illegal to be a Christian. By this time. Bye-bye Judaism by the number of mystery cults and over and over through this. He's trying to help this young pastor say let's live lives and let's do life in a way so were above reproach to the gospel's attractive give these instructions as well so they may be above reproach. But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household. He's denied. Are you ready for the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

Cinelli setting down some guidelines widows to put on the list only if she is not less than 60 years old having been the wife of one man having a reputation for good works. If she's brought up children she show hospitality to strangers. If she is watch the Saints beat if she's assisted those in distress and she's devoted herself to every good work.

So apparently as things were developing. It was wheat we just can't help everybody with any need. There are actual people something. This might even be that the birth of people who determined after their husband died.

I'm going to commit myself and be a full-time Christian work if you will, so I'm sure that's some sort of the teaching over the years.

Probably this is were nuns, and this idea that I'm going to be devoted to God because as you follow the text. Notice what he says but refused to register younger widows for when they feel physical desires, alienating them from Christ. Want to get married, thereby incurring condemnation because they've ignored their previous pledge. I think we think of a widow is just someone who lost her husband. It seems like there's a category of these widows who say you know what, in light of the ministry. I want to be fully devoted and I'm gonna make some sort about along those lines.

At the same time. They also learn to be idle. Speaking of those that are young and don't put them on the list too soon. Again, think, think of the principles discernment, wisdom, emotional intelligence, thinking for the future. And then he goes on to say is they go around from house to house, not merely idle but they also become gossips and busybodies talking about things not proper to mention. Therefore, I want younger women to get married, have children measure households and give the enemy no opportunity for reproach.

For some have already turned away to follow Satan. If you want to have some fun and in first Timothy read through it very fast and every time it says drifted away, fallen away, turned away, go through it and underline that in some some color.

Then if you want to have a little bit more fun read through it again very very quickly and anytime it has anything to do with godliness, values, character underline that in another color and what what you'll see is the themes through this book are very, very clear, and overthrew all the book. What is going to say is Timothy.

The big objective in life is. This is the path and what you want to do is lead a group of people in such a way where how we live and what we say and what we do makes the gospel attractive. Let's make sure we keep first things first. If any woman. Verse 16 who's a believer has dependent widows, she must first assist them in the church must not be burdened so that it may assist those who are actually widows and then when a person is an elder. When a person is given in this entrustment responsibility knows what he says the elders who lead well or to be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who work hard at preaching and teaching the Scripture says you shall not muzzle the ox was threshing and the laborer is worthy of his wages to make sure there's real respect to these people called to lead, pulls out this proverb from you know about the oxen make an application and then he says be careful do not accept an accusation against an elder accept on the basis of two or three witnesses. You can be really careful that you really listen to complaints but you also have to be equally careful that you don't assume just because someone registers a complaint or makes an accusation that is true, and then I love the balance of Scripture, then those who continue in sin, in other words, two or three witnesses said the silver sleeping with so-and-so this elders pilfering the money for this elders acting this way, a church that menu you should you should see him out in the marketplace and so two or three witnesses a thing know this is this is true those who continue in sin. Speaking of elders rebuke in the presence of all, so that the rest also will be fearful of sinning. Think of emotional intelligence Timothy B tender and sensitive with older men don't rebuke them Timothy with mothers be tender and sensitive Timothy.

By the way, if people can take care of their own households and then trying to mooch off the church. It's tough love you to write. If someone makes an accusation against someone listen to or three witnesses. Be discerning.

Get the facts and by the way, if it's really true. Go public sure makes right so he's giving them this this balancing of how do you do relationships in such a way that again. Twice we've heard about being above reproach.

I solemnly exhorts you now. Paul's going to go into his tough love in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus and of his chosen angels to maintain these principles, how without bias, doing nothing in a spirit of partiality. How would you like to be getting this letter. Anybody who's been in leadership you realize you have people that are popular in the group. People that are popular people that everyone kinda likes and you know respect. Some people that other people don't respect you have people that are wealthier and people that aren't so wealthy. You have always sort of the Khanna one or two people that come in extra grace required. Give people that really your power up and they have roles and responsibilities and so as a leader, how do you execute what's the right thing to do at the right time in the right way and all those relationships and then if you didn't get the message. I mean the bargaining higher I solemnly exhort you where in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, and he pulls out all the stops and all the chosen angels to terms with who these principles that I've laid out about relationships you doing without bias and you do without partiality, you don't let just because people have money or power or influence or gave to buy this or by that or they intimidate people know what leaders do.

Timothy then he gives them some warnings do not lay hands upon anyone to quickly and thereby share responsibility for the sins of others keep yourself free from sin, you know, when you're overwhelmed in a job and you just a minute. It's just hard to breathe and you can't do it all. If you've ever been in this situation is an employer's supervisor need to hire someone when you are desperate. It is the absolute worst time to hire someone because no matter what you tell yourself you will settle and you'll hire someone that is a quick fix. You get a minute and here's what I can tell you the wrong person in a role whether it's in a church ministry or accompany the wrong person is way worse than no one at all. And so what he saying is don't don't trying to bail yourself out by finding someone and sticking them in the spot and is going to say why I like verse 23. I'm not even sure why it's in here other than you know what I've been pretty hard on you. Let me just give you little personal encouragement right Timothy don't go on drinking only water but usual wide for the sake of your stomach and your frequent ailments that then it goes back the sins of some people are quite evident going on before them to judgment for others their sins follow after Timothy had be really careful who you put in leadership. Here's the deal. Some some people you put in leadership. They mess up and everyone knows they mess up, but some people go to their grave and we don't find out about the damage or what's happened until later that it's devastating and without mentioning any names. I think you can all think of some of some of the greatest Christian leaders in our whole generation who in recent times revelations about their sexual indiscretions that have wrought in this particular case, not the United States is application listening to the first part of his message stepped into the series.

The book of first Timothy life coaching from the apostle Paul. Our mission as many of you know is for Christians to really live like Christians, but that's a lot easier said than done nowadays right through this new series based in the book of first Timothy chip highlights the vital warnings and pieces of advice.

Paul shared with Timothy that helped him navigate the hostile society lived in.

Don't miss how we can put this wisdom into practice in our everyday Christian lives to get plugged in with the series, visit LivingontheEdge.org that's LivingontheEdge.org will before we continue today's program chips.

Join me here in studio now and trip. I can see you got something you'd like to share with our listeners. Thanks so much Dave.

I want to pause just for a minute and if you're a financial partner with living on the adage. I just want you to hear a message that we received from a lady named Kelly who listens every single day.

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I now joined an awesome church that has small groups and Christ is blessed me in recovery meetings. Anyway, thanks so much for sharing your life with others. You made a positive difference in my life. You know Kelly is one of hundreds actually thousands of emails that we get it Living on the Edge and I just column life change spirit of God took the word of God and might've been on the podcast could been on the radio could've been in the small group could've even been a CD or a book, but God intervenes with their life and something happens that changes the course of their life and I just want to pause and thank you you know some of you write a check every month. Some of you have it taken out of your account every month. Some of you like once 1/4. Twice a year you give to Living on the Edge.

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I have a lot of things going through my mind and there's a lot of directions we could go.

I think of the bias that I had I shared earlier where I was so self-righteous and I was so down on other people and I thought they so didn't get it in the way I responded in the way I talk with them literally. I think I just about lost all credibility apart from a very kind man who set my driveway with me in and gave me some words of wisdom and confirm that prejudice is wrong in every group from every background whether it's ethnic or racial or geographical has our prejudice and biases but the way to win them is not the way I was doing it with my biased in my prejudice to my self-righteousness and I like you to pause with me now and say how we doing in the body of Christ.

How do we talk to one another. How do you think can communicate and post on social media, there's a lot of issues and it's good to disagree and to think clearly and evaluate. But I think it's breaking God's heart in the way that were speaking and posting and slamming and criticizing one another. I think the world is looking at a fractured church that is revealing such incredible immaturity and so the question I want you to ask is, would Jesus be pleased if he read your Facebook or your Instagram is Jesus pleased with private conversations you're having with other believers about quote other Christians what they do or don't do, or that might be a part of a different political party than yours. Let's grow up.

Let's be wise. Let's remember what matters most. Let's be people that speak the truth. Agree to disagree where necessary, and then let's agree on the things that really matter lost people need Christ down. People need to grow up in our communities need us to serve them and love them regardless of where they're coming from.

That's what Jesus did and we need to follow him just before we close. I want you to know that as a staff we ask the Lord to help you take whatever your next faith step is there's a way we can help. We'd love to do that if you give us a call at AAA 333-6003 or connect with us@livingontheedge.org and while you're there, take a moment and look through our resources on a variety of topics. Any of them absolutely free will.

Until next time, this is Dave Gurley saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge