Relational Intelligence - It's Just Physical, Part 1

Do you understand the amazing beautiful and powerful relationship between sexuality and spirituality. I mean do you get, it's not just physical. That's today.

I don't think you want to.

Welcome to this Edition of Living on the Edge drift your finger up Living on the Edges of international discipleship featuring the Bible to bring up this program we continue our series called Relational Intelligence. If you notice that were very good at compartmentalizing our lives. I mean even though it's completely one set of values in one entirely ignore those same values in another one this message were going to begin to sort out a little confusion, no chips teaming up on the series with her son Ryan Ingram who is a pastor of a vibrant young church in California. So today when you hear from Ryan as he brings us part one of his message from first Corinthians chapter 6, it's just physical.

We started off saying one talking about Relational Intelligence that is bill of navigating relationships as well as the wisdom of God who created and designed us of how to navigate and go about relationships, moments of this, that is both counterintuitive and counterculture. Oftentimes, relational wisdom, Relational Intelligence is counterintuitive and countercultural were waiting into perhaps the most countercultural counterintuitive a subject relationally for us today.

I think unfortunately the church hasn't always done a good job in communicating God's wisdom when it comes to our sexuality and our design, and I recognize also that for many as we talk about this that this is a deeply personal, incredibly, for some painful, difficult emotional wounds and even confusion. As we talk about this as I've been thinking about this and wrestling with. Okay, how do we begin this conversation as I want to beginning here is not the place I want to start actually, but I think is the place culturally where I have to start because I want us to just talk as a collective as he is just people learning how to follow and walk in the ways of Jesus, but I believe the church the C church, the bride of Christ. Unfortunately in our day has all too often become known for what were against and what were for, and when it comes to marriage and sexuality that the church has lost its influence and part of the reason why is the C church in America has tried to hold the world to conformity, while not holding that self accountable. Here's what's amazing to think about this is so incredible in John's Gospel when he's trying to unpack for us who Jesus is. He's trying to help us understand who is this Messiah PE says this he says the word became flesh and made his dwelling among us, and we have seen his glory, like we held the glory of the one and only in Venice is a sign up who came from the father full of grace and truth.

Jesus is the fullness of both. He is not all grace and he is not all truth but embodied in the son of God is the fullness of grace and truth. See grace is just you know you come as you are. You stay where you are. I have news for you. Jesus says come as you are but I want to change you.

I want to transform you. I want to see a metamorphosis and is not all truth is not.

You just have to fix up your life and do better. He was grace embodied and so he hung out with all called all the wrong people.

He died on the cross for quote all the wrong people.

He had a reputation for hanging out with tax collectors and sinners and prostitutes, and the like. And here's what's so amazing about Jesus. People who were nothing like Jesus really liked Jesus really enjoyed hanging out with Jesus.

They were drawn to him all the clone wrong people were drawn to. What's fascinating is all the religious people repelled by he was the fullness of grace and truth.

And if you read the Gospels carefully what you'll find is when he came to someone who was far from God.

He always led with grace and then followed with truth.

He always led with compassion and then he followed with clarity and then if you read it carefully. All the religious people all the Pharisees, he reversed it. He led with truth, and as they responded to the truth. He followed with grace. Unfortunately for us as the church when it comes to this area of the church is really led with truth for those who are far away from God and never gotten around to grace and so the C church has unfortunately said to a people that Jesus died for came for that. They're not welcome or love. And so if you're in the LGBT community here.

I want to say that you're welcome in the love and the name of Jesus. I believe the church should be the safest place to wrestle with questions that we the church need to be known for how we love. I believe loving the way Jesus loves incredibly messy is not clear this is is not so you know, boxed in the way we like and I believe once someone experiences the love of Jesus, they are changed by so my prayer for us as a church is that we will be a church full of grace and truth. And yes, we had awakening hold to an historic Orthodox Christian view of marriage and sexuality as expressed in the New Testament that marriage is a covenant commitment between one man and one woman for life in our sexuality is designed to be expressed only within that covenant commitment. Here's his holy week. Followers of Jesus we are to bring our lives into obedience with that truth. So the question before us is how are followers of Jesus to go about relationships in a sexually confusing world. This isn't how everybody else's and for many years on Mike, if that's what it means. Apologies, I might not call Jesus after it is okay. How are followers of Jesus to go about relationships in a sexually complex, confusing world the mantra when it comes to our sexuality today is this just physical listen yet to test drive the car before you buy to find someone who sexually compatible 52% of singles have had a one night stand. 41% of singles. According to the yes this is singles in America.com and it is a legitimate research that they've done. By the way, 41% of singles have had a FWB which I found out was friends with benefits.

However, 32% of singles agree you have to be in love to have great sex and 84% say sex is better when you are in love. How are followers of Jesus to go about relationships in the sexually confusing times will that America's sexual ethic is saying this is simple, but it is profound in its adopted not just by the culture, but is adopted by followers of Jesus, my body, my rules is my body. I have the right to do with my body whatever I want. I make the rules. It's my body and so they and it is then my rules and underlying belief under this says you are sexually with cravings, appetites and desires. You have the right to fulfill that appetite with whomever you wish. However you wish.

And whenever you wish, as long as it is consensual, America's sexual ethic, my body, my rules. You are this is sexual being that has these cravings and appetites and desires just like any other appetite or craving and so you have the rights, no infected go one step further and that it would say to restrict one's appetite is both close minded and agents. You have the rights with whomever you wish.

However you wish. Not CS Lewis actually wrote and spoke into the soap poignantly over 50 years ago, seven years ago now actually almost.

He says this, like all powerful lies is based on the truth. Sex in itself is normal and healthy. The light consists in the suggestion that any sexual act to which you're tempted at the moment is also health and no one know what if we just simply applied our sexual ethic, and presupposition and beliefs about them being cravings connected to our other cravings and appetites and desires must you know one sex is not a base or core need just get that straight. I know some of you don't think that's true but if you don't have water or food. You'll die if you if you don't have sex, you will not die. Now let's just apply this to our other appetite and food. For example with food. I have the right to fulfill appetite whenever however I wish as long as is consensual that it really make sense with the engine restrict that appetite is close minded and oppressive. Here's what's funny about her food is in its too many of your gluten-free to adopt that or ride hey now I'm restricting carbs clean eating organic, naturally sourced when it comes to our food we are intentionally focused, restricting, knowing that now I can eat whatever I want whenever I want.

However, it has a drastic impact on my health, and we apply that same principle to our sexuality. We dive a little bit deeper because it's just physical is the mantra of our world.

If it's just physical. Why is there so much shame for those who've been sexually if it's just physical. You know 30% of all women report their first sexual experience was not voluntary. 40% of girls under the age of 15 first sexual experience was not voluntary and unwanted 20% of college women report to being forced to have sex against their will, and if it's just physical. Why is it that a woman is way more likely to report being than being raped from the last.

It is just physical.

Why is it the sexually active teens are three times more likely to be depressed than those who abstain. You see, our sexual ethic of the day is undermining the desires in the core of who we are made to be six sex and sexuality has shifted from the physical expression of love and intimacy to that of experiencing personal fulfillment. The result is we live in a society that is saturated with sex yet starving for intimacy.

The old adage is more true today than it's ever been. It's easier to find a lover than a friend and the root issue is we have compartmentalize our sexuality and our spirituality. You this is technician you are sexual and spiritual. At the same time the gospel says that your sexuality and gender is important but is not the most important thing about you. In fact in identity dysphoric culture as we have attached ultimate value meaning personhood to our sexuality. The gospel speaks loudly into this.

He says your identity in Jesus Christ is the most important thing about you.

So we have to once again Mary sexuality and spirituality why God invented it somewhere like I got approved know he's the one that invented it. It was his idea. So guess what he has in the past thoughts and wisdom and how we are to express our sexuality and so how do we really integrate our sexuality and our spirituality. How do we marry these once more as a people to experience life in this area. What's amazing is the apostle Paul spoke to this issue almost 2000 years ago. In fact it as we read in today. You would think he's writing to us and he's writing to this church in Corinth and it's actually very dealing and wrestling with the same things when we are today. It's funny in our modern arrogance.

We think we are so progressive in advance and yet the mantra is just physical, has been around for thousands of years. If you got your Bible. Would you open up to first Corinthians chapter 6, first Corinthians chapter 6 verse 12 and here's what the apostle Paul is going to do. He's going to start with the philosophical assumptions of the day of the city, then his gun moved and he just going to apply logic.

It is not even something's really deep and profound logical you look at that go yeah that's true then is going to move to theologically why we have to once again Mary spirituality and our sexuality together and then he's going to bring it home rule practically foresaw start philosophically or logically, if you will. Mary and sexuality and spirituality. Here's what he says is going to give us he's not say the right to do whatever you want doesn't make whatever you want right. The right to do whatever you want doesn't make whatever you want right. Notice what he says I have the right to do anything you say it was a philosophy of the day is the philosophy of Corinth. I have the right to do anything that's un-American you. I have the right to do anything I can sleep with whoever I want whenever I want. However, I want don't you dare tell me I have the right to do anything I want say now knows this but not everything is and would you say this with me beneficial. Yeah, I can eat whatever I want, but not all that I eat is beneficial we get that the right to do whatever I want, does not make whatever I want right or good or beneficial, and here's what we've done, we think the question is do I have the right to the apostle Paul says none of the question is, is it beneficial some of you are going well. I want to demand my rights fantastic. You have the right to do it. We live in America, you're free. The question isn't do you have the right, the question is a good is it beneficial, is it helpful. Did you know the research says you can argue with research abstaining from sex before marriage yields the highest rates of fidelity in marriage as well as the highest overall sexual inspection. Did you know that those married on average have more sex than those who are single as well as more adventurous sex with their partners. In others this lie that Mary sex is boring news/I just love to talk about Mike is not right, please don't please.

Did you know living together or cohabitating leads to 50% more likelihood of divorce. Then it's you have the right to do whatever he wants, but it doesn't make whatever you want right or good or beneficial. The question isn't do I have the right, the question is it beneficial would you begin to ask a better question for your life.

A better question for your sexuality. Then he goes on and is going to move from our rights.

Then to add an idea about freedom. Now here's what is going to say he's gonna say self-control, not self-indulgence, is a mark of freedom, self-control, not self-indulgence, is a marker freedom. Notice what he says I have the right to do anything he goes back to their mantra is just physical. I can do whatever I want now knows this but I will not be mastered by anything you say, food for the stomach and stomach for the food, and God will destroy them both you noticed there making the same argument of cravings and appetite. Same is just an appetite to be filled in our culture we have redefined freedom as the ability to say yes to what ever we want when everyone what we desire in the moment and I however self-control, not self-indulgence, is a mark of freedom. See, when I have the ability to say no I am not mastered by anything. I was stick with the food illustration will take sugar for example, if I cannot say no to sugar, then I'm not free for sugar. I am mastered by sugar.

I can spin it to say I'm free to eat all the sugar I want, but the truth is, I'm not free at all because I cannot say no that is what we've done with sexuality. That is what we've done in our culture today. I'm free to look at all the pornography that I wants know you're not, you're not free to do otherwise, I'm free to sleep with whoever I want whenever I want know you're not designed listen as a pastor and have been going on almost 2 decades of pastoring off had so many heart got like it felt painful conversations with people who are in stock and slavery to their sexuality to pornography that in your room long for that freedom. And they're not able to say no and process self-control. The ability to say no, not self-indulgence, is a mark of freedom. The air with the city's got some thoughts about the message just heard. But before he gets to that.

I hope you'll take a second to go online Share and encourage others to join us for the series to navigating relationships as never been easy, which is why Chip asked Brian to come ensure these messages that bring such practical applications to the daily challenges culture is a powerful voice that influences our attitudes and our thinking so Ryan's fresh perspective on relationship building. From a biblical point of view provides the tools you may need to make a few course corrections for limited time, resources for Relational Intelligence are discounted and the MP3s are always free to order your copy or dissented to a friend visit us online at http://livingontheedge.org for additional information. Just give us a call at 1-888-333-6003 will Chip I know you want to talk about Ryan's message but before we do that we would you take a minute and come to give us a quick update on what you're hearing from listeners these days. You know I get letters, emails and Facebook messages from people every day to tell me how Living on the Edges impacted their life. People of all ages from I mean every walk of life. Many of those letters also share painful events, deep wounds are hard times that people wrestling with. Like many of us depressing and are seeking God and I'm deeply moved when they've taken the time to write and say thank you thanks for message they've heard, or resource. They been using were you note seeing God work through his word and they understand him and the Holy Spirit is beginning to work in their life like never before. They aren't only thanking me your Living on the Edge there thanking you all of you that invests in this ministry and walk alongside us by praying for its daily giving every month to keep the doors open were giving to our matches once or twice a year to develop new resources and reach more people.

These folks there thanking you to and so I just want to pause and thank you for your financial investment in all that we do right here Living on the Edge and if you're listening and you've never given her didn't realize that we rely on contributions until just now.

Would you prayerfully consider giving financially to the ministry that we could keep creating new resources keep helping people to be the kind of Christians that live like Christians and let me say just thank you in advance for what ever God leads you to do. You don't need to do more or less were just asking everyone do your part and will see God work as you prayerfully consider your role in giving to this ministry. I just want to remind you that when you partner with Living on the Edge you become part of a much bigger team. So a gift of any amount is significant and monthly giving helps us plan for new resources and other projects with greater certainty, send a gift. Just call us at 1-888-333-6003.

Tap the donate button on the app or go online to LivingontheEdge.org and thanks in advance for your support of this ministry, as we wrap up today's program. Let me give two very strong admonitions to two very different groups. If you are a younger person college, you know, young professional, I would really encourage you to listen to this again and ask yourself of what you believe and why. And are you really free and let me get the word of of both encouragement and maybe some mentorship for some of you that have grown children into their late teenagers there away at college.

Other young professionals in you interact with one another and what you strongly suspect, is that their beliefs and behaviors, though there Christians grow up in a Christian home are probably pretty different and it's hard to have this conversation and you know that they don't see sexual purity the way you do in your best understanding of the Bible, but for the life of you. You not really sure how to have that conversation, you don't want to be pushy. On the other hand, you know the concerns what the Bible teaches and the consequences could I encourage you just to say you know I heard a message that really impacted me about a sensitive subject.

Sexuality and spirituality. I would love to know what you think and I'm sending it to you and then I love to grab coffee and let's let's talk about this. It was really a different take that ever heard something like that to get the ball rolling. To have this conversation. I think it's a tool that will resonate deeply with those that are younger and are asking different questions than some of us who are older have ever asked I hope will be a help it all. A great way to stay engaged and connected to chip in Living on the Edge is with the Chip Ingram map, you'll get free access to all of Chip's recent messages is message notes and much more. Not only that, but it could be easier to call or email directly from the yeah well I hope you'll be with us again next time. Till then, this is saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge