Spiritual Simplicity - What's Love Got to Do With It?, Part 2

Spiritual simplicity doing less loving more sounds good doesn't it. That's our series right now, but there are two things that will kill love in every relationship in our last broadcast. We talk about in when we compare ourselves with one another and we feel lesser today. We'll talk about that other issue that will destroy the love relationships in your life. Stay with welcome to this Edition of Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram Living on the Edges of international discipleship and history featuring the Bible teaching of Chip Ingram nature continues the message he began last season.

The familiar Bible passage from first Corinthians 13, the love chapter Chip reminds us that love has the power to endure the toughest times when we begin playing the comparison could be lost. And then we loop so let's get going and find out how to choose contentment over comparisons. If you have your Bible, heavy opening out of first Corinthians chapter 13 let's join Chip for part two of his message. What's love got to do it.

This is what we want after this is the jugular you want to become more loving in real time.

Here's the issue. Comparison always leads to carnality.

The moment you ever compare yourself with another person always produces carnality and if you're wanting what carnality is just not loving because the moment you compare there's only two directions ago you start comparing to go.

I think that persons up here and I'm here. That's a lot nicer car. They have more visible gifts.

I'm single, never married, and I wish I was married or goes the other way and when that person is not very important.

That's an old dumpy thing. I wonder why they act like that. I wonder why they dress like that and you know what you don't verbalize it, you feel superior. You feel better than and when you envy people you don't treat them in loving ways.

Or if you think you're better than them. You don't treat them in loving ways and so here's what I want you to see. We are going to go to war. On the issue of comparison. Arrogance compares downward and produces pride, boasting rudeness and independence, all of which this passage say is unloving.

This is the eyes saying to the hand I need you I see where were going, I mean has anyone ever heard of a hand-to-hand conversation. It means the eyes. A lamp of the body. I mean the eyes. What's important the eyes. What really matters is what they better than a hand. You see the comparison about the way it can be the exact set here's what's so ironic about this envy and arrogance. You can be in one room and a single people see this couple and they get married in a single people go to understand or send in resentment of my heart and just be my best friend that she got married only a little baby girl seems to have it up slowly when you have the married couple with two kids or maybe three. They thought they were done they wanted to be done. They plan to be done. They're not done and out of the blue comes number three or number four and there looking at the single people what you do in the summer want to go on a missions trip and then I thought I'd spend a week in Italy and with a couple friends and you know so how should we cause really good and I had coffee over there had a latte with my friends couple from work and and and the married couple: first 11 years and they envy their singleness and their mobility and see it's not what it's not what we compare upward or downward. The meaning of the word arrogance literally means be puffed up inflated overvalued if the IP emotional, color for envy is read hot arrogance is cool blue above is like the blowfish I and I learned a fellow who owns a fish store.

Her use to. He said actually they fill with anything he says if you pull not a water they fill with air. I said that's a good illustration is is that what we do what we do whatever Arlene out with the ministry setting. Move the financials and who the relational said we just when you're arrogant. You just fill up the trying project. You matter more, you're more important in the something that makes you feel secure by putting people down this direction will do.

It's rooted in comparison. I almost hesitate to share this but it's probably beneficial. This this is a social science experiment.

I'd like you to do go to a coffee shop this week and you can say this is your ministry leased application at Starbucks, wherever, and then I want you to have a book that you pretend that you read and get whatever your favorite chai or coffee and just sit there for 15 or 20 minutes not purposely to eavesdrop, but just to hear conversation here, conversation here, conversation here, conversation here and I'll make a prediction. 4/5 conversations are two people sitting there talking about someone else is not there and they're either talking about what they didn't do what they should have done and how they don't measure up. And this group is superior or the talking about someone were this person makes them feel less than and there's something horrendously sadistically and sinfully satisfying about vetting talking about someone else and how I feel better because now were saying that about her or about him comparison is the arch enemy of love.

When you look at differences. The arrogant puffed up person has a motto or a mindset as well. And basically I don't need you. You no matter but like the more gifts the more talent the more blessing.

The more position that, for whatever reason God may give you the greater the temptation.

This book is filled with people. It started out very very humble and God, could you ever use me and then they become king of the become famous and then the hubris kicks in, because after the attitude of I don't need you and you don't matter. I'm indispensable comes feelings like I'm superior. I really am more important to make me to talk about other people's as other less intellectual their feelings don't matter as much. What they do, it's important to me for the people. And then there's this entitlement mindset. Your special that the action steps of arrogance is when you're arrogant, you automatically become independent. You don't need as many people mean you are your what matters you the go to person. You're the center of attention, and so the more blessing. The more money the more position.

The more power you actually don't need people and then the step. After independence, arrogant people are independent and beyond being independent. It moves to the next one. Then they're not accountable. These rules about money and how to use it. These rules about sexual purity. What you cannot do less for other people becoming my schedule and my demands. There's a different set of rules for me. That usually well on the journey to their downfall and after the independence and the lack of accountability. Then they become indifferent to the needs of others and is not often just from the words it's so look to glance. The body language but when you're around them. They almost don't have to say you feel or are attempted to made to feel less than numb to suggest that we all struggle with both envy and arrogance, but we tend to habitually fall into one camp more than the other. My personal camp is arrogance struggle with arrogance all my life. Part of it is your personality part is your giftedness part is your family of origin and can imagine having a dad when I was three years old before I walked out of the house. There was his easel and he was teaching me to read and that he was teaching me to spell long words so he could impress his friends. I go to the swimming pool be managed in the summer and he was a teacher in a coach and chip column intercontinental ballistic missile at three-year-old and then you know he would say chip this this is true, this country's gonna need a good president someday continue magic this and I think so. I made the good side. Talk about a kid the group with confidence. We talk about a guy that had a warped arrogant view that God has been cutting through for years so we all will lean one way or another. Often people that have had difficult tasks feel like they never quite measure up struggle with envy and know what he got make her so pretty what he get that job, you know, I'm tired of Tina Batten eighth in the lineup that Kaiser jerky bats third and play shortstop and now he just went IPO in his company. That is so sickening. I will let me give you a remedy of very specific love step to attack comparison if you compare upwardly. It says the envious must believe that God is good and is sovereignly and wisely given them what is best for them and best to fulfill his purpose. You might circle that your notes notice it doesn't say the envious must try harder not to envy. Trying hard enough and he doesn't get a think differently. God is good.

He's in control. You are who you are you where you're at and he wants to work in your life needs for you and is good and every person in every season. Everything doesn't look great. He cares for you and who he made you is what matters and embracing that I you I really honestly not had much but struggle with envy in my life because of my warped arrogance is a particular friend of mine in another state. He's a is a teaching pastor.

He's written books were were friends. We had breakfast and coffee and and were very similar age and in about a six rate week. To make a long story short, everywhere I went at his books are here. I look at a conference and he speaking here and then a couple friends on to tell you this is most helpful thing ever and ever and Anna normally was a crate man is my friend. The kingdoms growing in many my son was telling that I get is tell you I just the sky. This is the best thing the whole world a little something inside went son, are you you where I come to do some same stuff for me. I'm your dad. You know and and and then you dislike it hit me hit me hit me and I walk into a bookstore in his books her face forward like in a Barnes & Noble or some place in my normal all great man.

Someone solid.

This is really super instead this is so embarrassing, so instead, it was like I wonder how my books are doing okay Christian living at CH HHH eight. I J must be sold out no, not there.

Don't even carry and I remember then I read something in the skies really help me as a friend. I love them but I felt less than my less than was followed by Donna didn't want to be around that and I felt resentful and who select this is so ugly and so I I did a very specific steps that God led me to that I want to give you that will help you with your person number one I faced the desire of my jealousy. So I called it all kind of other things that I that I kept having this uneasiness. It really help to say I'm envious I'm jealous. The second thing is I I didn't trying to squash the desire so what I want to say God I never want to use my books got everyone to use my life know I redirected and said God I really want you to use my life but I want to be your man, your spot used at whatever level to promote ministry and kingdom not compared to anything or anyone else. And so I repent of that but I long for you to use my life.

Third is on meditated on God's goodness to the end of the day. It was like when you start comparing us like will of God was really good. He would've given me a mate by now, if God was really good, he would've come to heal my body like he did this other person. But if God was really good. He would've when we compare we begin to believe the lie that God is good. The very first sin in the Bible, Eve was deceived because she believed God was holding out Eve mean you understand what this will do for you, and she believed that God was holding out that he wasn't good and so you meditate on the afore specific thing you do to overcome.

Envy is choose gratitude and give thanks. So I begin to thank God for you and I begin to thank God for this guy.

Thank God for his books. Thank God my lands. My son is listening and reading this person and it's helping him and encouraging. Thank you Lord and I begin to thank God and I I willfully decided his middle thing is again something I'm not going to compare so I just have a new little rule.

I'm not going to go into bookstores and see where I'm not or where I am or care either way and is deciding what that little practice just sets me up for doing and having bad comparative thoughts you, you can be jealous or you can be grateful. But those who won't live in the same heart you start thanking God for this person, thanking God for his blessing thinking for what is done and then start thinking for what is done either you will envy what others have, or you'll thank God for what you do have, and you start doing that. I will tell you what the envy will dissipate and then finally connect with that person.

If it's appropriate and serve. Now this person lives in a whole another state, so I just I member is an application of and praying form.

Hey his name. I was watching out everywhere I turned around in the last three or four weeks. God is using you in amazing ways. Thank you for your impact in my life and I just want to encourage you to keep pressing ahead and hang in there in a few hours later thanks Jim. I knew what I was free and now were were were both were in the kingdom of God boat and were both rolling together toward what God wants. Are we going the same direction and so want to rejoice for the arrogant, you must admit our need and choose to be vulnerable in order to receive the goodness God in their daily experience. Arrogant people don't have people close to.

They keep getting separated separated more and more independent and everyone sees them as powerful. In fact I work with one group of guys recently and I said you know why most of you don't have any close friendships and they all happen to be in a room and they all own their own business. I said because you can either fire them or disinherit them. And that's why you get very little truth in your life is intimidated by and you what they don't understand there is and how lonely it is to be quote as influential and affluent as you are. They'd understand the issues in your marriage that other people understand they don't understand it when you start having a relationship in the back your mind yours, wondering, is this person trying to get into my wallet. My portfolio or my Rolodex so you become an un-trusting person you become more more independent, you will gravitate toward this very dangerous place not being accountable and you'll start using people because pretty soon. Affirmation is all you get.

You'll get a lot of real love and so you have to make more and more impact in doing two more and earn earn more and so you use people to get things done and that's called manipulation in your soul dries up when that occurs, arrogant people need to choose to be vulnerable. So you need a safe place to do that in order to receive the goodness of God in their daily life and I will tell you that there's three or four things you can do that will give you some real help here.

One is remember that everything you have is from God. In chapter 4 of this book.

Paul says what you had the habit received the brains you have the opportunity you have the family that you have the money that you have the gifts that you have the talent that you have different God. Every good and perfect gift is from above, from the father lights with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. You don't own anything you are not the blowfish just the fish and God can fill you up, meditate what he can take you down and you just need understand it's a stewardship God. I'm not sure why you gave me this position. I don't know why you gave me these gifts.

I don't know why you give me this family. I don't know why you will allow me to be single and free. I don't know why you've given me this money. I don't know why people look to me, but what I know is I'm gets a sacred stewardship.

Second thing, remember your roots remember your roots yet a member we came from and II remember Kaufman, Texas 35 people and I have a friend is the third one hang out with some people that know your roots, but no matter what is ever written about you or what people say about you, no matter how many zeros get at the end your name or how many letters there some people who know you and you know what they are totally unimpressed play golf two weeks ago with a guy that I spent 1820 years with his friends in ministry and you think it's just that he is the gift of bluntness and I so love them for it. And I mean it's just he loves here. Here's the other thing he loves me for me because he loved me when we were in ministry together with what he came on we were searching we are up to 60 people were hundred and oh, and he just loves me of another friend is on our board that are known for 28 years and will bring up the past and I know what he's doing and I so love and for you said it ship member when you never paint your bathroom that very first church member the house with all the cracks in the foundation member when you did that silly stupid thing yeah member when you get you what is doing is and I love you but hey what it's God, you're just a steward, just a piece of flesh. And he's filled you with opportunity and some gift and you stand before them on it. I just want to remind you see the thing about envy and arrogance member there just a hitman. The court is comparison. That's what we got.

Eliminate I'm giving you specific ways for you to say I either lean toward arrogance or lean toward envy and how do I address it and I want to encourage you here that forth is admit your needs and invite people in your life if you arrogant. Admit your needs. I didn't want to do this. In fact, I came to last night service and I didn't have this and as we were seeing one of the songs just the spirit of God whispered you need to share this. I like to say this is from 10 or 20 years ago when I used to be an arrogant jerk but it's from August of this year when I acted like an arrogant jerk. Verse came to my mind at the end of the day I'd I traveled and I had the privilege of the having dinner with my older sister that I rarely see it says the heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately wicked who can understand that verse came to my mind from Jeremiah and then this is what I wrote my Journal as I finished up my day of travel yesterday and enjoyed a rare evening with my sister Jeannie, I realized how true that verse is above. They were all little things throughout the day or so I thought, and one by one the Holy Spirit brought them to mind as I walked back to the hotel.

I remember ignoring the man in the wheelchair going through security, caring more about my place in line than demonstrating servant hood or concern. I even secretly thought. He doesn't need that chair, he's just doing this the dish everybody. The items we've never had the thoughts second being so consumed with my work on the plane.

I ignored the man next to me named Michael. Then when he asked what do you do, I postured something about being an author and returning to the local church is a pastor but fundamentally, I was just seeking to please men, I didn't want to be viewed as just a pastor. I wanted to be important and significant because of my miles. I got bumped up to first class and I wanted to impress God brought Galatians 110 in Luke 1615 to mine. As I recall those events.

Later that night I had dinner with my sister and realize that I took away one of the few opportunities my sister could have the my big sister and take care of me and give to me and be blessed if I insisted I had to pay for the dinner pride in its many insidious forms is so ugly. All of this insensitivity self focused self absorption.

All the while while I was writing a new introduction for the book, the genius of generosity. How ironic and sad father. Where would I be apart from your great mercy and steadfast loyal love and forgiveness. Thank you for applying the work of your son Jesus to my sin and forgiving and cleansing me last night after I became aware of it. Help me today to please you, not people help me today to be a man whose life and motives are highly esteemed in your eyes, not seeking to be highly esteemed in the eyes of men help me today to love people and not impressive help me today to not compare myself with anyone in any way or judge or evaluate others based on their outward appearance, wealth, position, or perceived value to me or ministry.

Help me from any and all false humility, or posturing that communicates that I'm more that I am finally Lord help me today to do justice, to love kindness and walk humbly with you now.

That's ugly, but it was in comparing myself with others that might arrogance and therefore I was on loving to my sister. I was unloving to a man who God may have wanted to hear the gospel. I was on loving because in my comparison. I compared downward and me and mine and what I had to do was here instead of considering others. More important than myself. Where are you on the journey. What if this week you said God I'm gonna attack the hitman of either arrogance or envy. I want to maximize my love. So I can minimize the urgent and the demanding that is masquerading in causing my life would be recommended with a final thought about his you're just joining us, you're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram chip stock today. What's love got to do with it is from his serious spiritual simplicity doing less loving more chronic fatigue and shallow or fractured relationships are a few of the troubling side effects of a culture that's constantly running and never arrives.

If you're looking for an alternative that will actually work spiritual simplicity will help you focus, prioritize, and love like you've never loved before you check out discounts and ordering details on all of the spiritual simplicity resources. Just call us at 1-888-333-6003 or visit us online at http://livingontheedge.org spiritual simplicity doing less loving more I'll be right back with some specific application to this message. But before I do want to take a minute to tell you about one of my most favorite tools that we have to encourage everyone, but especially women. Some of you know, because of the story that I've shared that my wife really did not have a very positive childhood in terms of self-image. She experienced a lot of rejection condemnation really did not feel good about herself and that guy I met this beautiful godly wonderful woman that didn't like yourself at all and shortly after marriage counseling.

We were introduced to the idea of identifying the lies that you believe about yourself writing them down putting a stop sign on the bottom of the card and then turning it over in reading the truth and then adding a passage from Scripture.

And you know you may not realize it, that if you have a problem receiving love.

It's very difficult to give it away and so we got these cards and for two years on the couch before I went to work.

We review them, we would say them out loud. They later became what we called affirmation cards and as God changed her life. I had the privilege of watching this person just bloomed before my eyes and be totally transformed. So let me encourage you fellow husbands, sons and fathers. Get a set of these cards for your wife, your daughter, your granddaughter, are you ready maybe even for your mom I can think of few things that would encourage and help the women in your life really believe that their love that they're valuable that their precious and turn away from the bombardment, especially that our teenage girls are getting, and they could know that there loved invaluable just for who they are just for the way they look right now. Can't think of anything better to do man, let's do it today are affirmation cards come out of the practice of battling the lives of self worth and value we all tend to believe with the truth from God's word about who we are in Christ. This attractive set of hard stock cards is an effective way to renew your mind with the truth of Scripture to preview our affirmation cards online. Just go to LivingontheEdge.org order your set today and maybe get a second set to give to a friend or to send as a gift affirmation cards you'll find them@livingontheedge.org or give us a call at 1-888-333-6003 as I close today's program. I want to remind you that comparison always leads to carnality and and as I shared in the message. We do this so often. All of us do it we do it multiple times a day. So much so that we actually start believing and thinking that it's normal and the fact the matter is it's not.

It always takes me to a bad place, and whether you tend to compare you know upwardly and feel like you don't measure up. And you envy how people look or envy what they do or envy what they wear and do what they driver or envy you know that the boyfriend or girlfriend are the major the children all that takes you to a place of unloving response. It's fine. As we talked about to desire, you know have desires for a mate or have desires made for a car that works or for a job that's better.

That's fine, but you can't compare yourself with others, or some of us go the other direction. We compared downward and out of our insecurities and struggles. We feel better and superior and we put people down and and even in our minds.

You know, we don't even say anything, but if we have a little bit of disdain like I'm better than you. It comes on your body language becomes out in your tone of voice and so I want to encourage you what's love got to do with it.

Simplifying your life demands that you cut to the heart and ruthlessly eliminate comparing and so in the message today. I gave you two or three very practical ways, and I want to remind you, and let's just do them today. The moment you start to compare what you catch yourself. In fact, today do a little something with me, I'll do it right now with you if you wear a watch.

Take your watch and put it on if you wear it on the left wrist put on the right. If you have a wedding band, take it off the one hand, and put on the other hand, I just want you to do something that every time you look at your wrist or your hand feels funny that you remember I'm not can compare today. So when you walk in the office or go to the construction side or your driving in your car and you look to the rider look to the left and the first thought is, and you start to compare then I want you to stop and I want you to thank God for whatever that person has just Lord, thank you for that car that they have. I don't know their life. Thank you for that child to have. Thank you for the job that they do have and then God, thank you that you made me just the way you made me, and then whatever it is that sort of prompts are heard are in need or desire like you know I would really like to have a mate or I wish we could have children someday or I really need a better job or this junker that I'm driving really isn't any good at do you thank God for what he's given them with a sincere heart say heavenly father. This is just a desire I don't compare myself with anyone but I'm asking you, would you help me would you grant this desire and I don't want to impress people.

I wanted so I can serve you better see if today you can put a death blow to comparison and see if God won't allow you to love more deeply and more authentically and watch what happens. Would you like to take Living on the Edge with you to the gym or on your next run while you can. For those of you want to listen to Living on the Edge on the go.

Just download the free shipping remap, you'll find all of Chip's recent messages access to free resources and much more. What you continues a serious spiritual simplicity. Next time so I hope to make plans to join us that Elvis is Dave really saying thanks for listening to this Edition of Living on the Edge