Spiritual Simplicity - What's Love Got to Do With It?, Part 1

There are two things to attitudes that will kill love. Today I'm going to share with you what those two attitudes are how to spot and then how to keep them from ruining the love in your life.

Stay with me today. Welcome to this division of Living on the Edge Chip Ingram trips or Bible to daily discipleship ministry continues a series of spiritual supposedly by helping us recognize that, but nasty for fall. A lot of his experience from time to time, and how to think differently in order to avoid just a quick reminder if you don't get to hear all of the trips message now open your Bible to first Corinthians chapter 13 story trip for part one of his message. What's love got to do spiritual simplicity, look at our lives and think how can we do less to get out of the crazy schedules and love more and more in part two, and I entitled this one. What's love got an out about you but that sort of brings back a little memory in a kind of Tina's early 90s. I'm in my car lots to do better save my impressions for later, but that was one of the catchiest tunes I've ever ever heard and a member later in high sing-along in the car and then you hear what you're singing.

I listen to the words and I thought these may be some of the most pathetically sad words about love I've ever heard, she came out of a very difficult abusive relationship.

If you know her life story and if you have time to actually study the words actually pulled him down and she says basically love is nothing more than a secondhand emotion.

It's a sweet old-fashioned notion other words it's it's really not true, just sort of this ideal that maybe someday some way but she's given up on it and then she says this line who needs a heart when a heart can be broken and so just focus on the physical. Don't risk don't care the messages get take exploit because real love is either too rare to dangerous or too costly and all that was in the very beginning of the 90s.

I could actually listen to the lyrics of that song in terms of philosophy. Francis Schaeffer was right.

If you want to know when the philosophy of a culture has hit mainstream just listen to the music and observe the art and the message of this song in the 60s and 70s that same message birth, the sexual revolution. The message that song really epitomizes the greed of the 80s and the media. Some of the 90s and the message and the disappointment of that song I think is birth. What this new millennium generation is saying you to honor what you all did with your life.

But I want genuine intimacy and authentic community, and I wanted to life with people that really care that are really real and really deep and here's what I can tell you when love is minimized because that's what that's what the song is about trivia is maximized. The important becomes trivial and then the trivial becomes important and so the way that we got where we are is when loving people and loving God, and really knowing what that means becomes minimized, then possessions in power and prestige and what people think and what you wear and what schools your kids go to and how you're doing produces these demands where we start living lives that are just unprecedented terms of demand demand, demand, complexity, complexity, complexity, and so on. The very front of your notes if you if you have those. I asked the question as we get started, so what's love got to do with simplifying your life and answers everything because when you maximize love. When you talk about purposefully, specifically, loving other people in intimate and authentic ways. Some of the trivial things all innocent lives are Lester, who cares about this or that when love is really happening. I gave you three reasons why the answer is everything. The first we covered because anything minus love is nothing in fact everything minus love meet some people would've spent their life with the latter leaning on fame, money, fortune.

The only thing missing is there mate their kids and any close friends. Everything minus love is nothing. The second reason is because it is our Miss belief about what our performance possessions and provisions can deliver that we chase bigger better faster more bigger better faster more that creates worlds of complexity and morals that have tired overextended people with a lifestyle that promises a lot delivers little and is characterized by superficial, shallow relationships and achy loneliness in your soul for third reason that love and simplicity go together is because you can only do less if you purpose to love more for me in terms of my study. You know what I prepare for this. The person who gets spoken to first is me and I was like many of you I'm a fairly driven person.

I'm pretty goal oriented and I've I've told myself a million times. I'm going to slow down more get more margin that doesn't last long unless you shift the focus on instead of him knocking to be doing these things to I'm gonna love deeply, love God more deeply than ever before him in love my wife more deeply than ever before, love my kids in my case grandkids I love my friends, when you begin to purpose. To say I'm going to love more and love deeper. Some of the pressures I was feeling. Also, they're not that important anymore will.

How do you do it assess what's the biggest barrier to you slowing down and simplifying your life, what is it that really keeps you at the pace that you're living second is define what's it look like to really love those in your world. I think we know God loves the whole world will you need to have a roommate or a family of a workplace you have friends you have people here.

You're probably in a small group so what's it look like specifically to love the people that are closest to you and then thirdly talk about develop specific baby steps of love in action that break old habit patterns how you live, how I live. I mean you didn't get there overnight and saying let's love more and do less is not going to cut it.

We've got a look at specific action steps of action that will allow the transformation of your heart and the new relationships that get translated your schedule and so the question I want to ask and answer today is how do we then maximize love.

So love becomes what's important and some of those trivial they don't feel trivial, but those trivial, less important things diminish in their priority and demand on your life and since you have opened your notes. I will catch up because you can answer.

I believe the key is learning to love in real time.

So this is not emotion motivational talk that you should love more. You know, platitudes, or try harder work get you mostly to pitch how I want to love more about last about 30 seconds to 30 hours depending on your personality. The key to transformation is in real time and how you live with the people we are closest to a real-time issue is how do you respond to those who hurt you and the truth is we learn first 2013 love is patient, love is kind of practices someone has hurt you live ignoring you. They rejected you may make you feel bad. You can either withdraw or pay them back or member the pillow you can absorb the blow by the grace of God and return a hug. That's the practice today were to talk about a second real life, learning to love in real time and in real time to look.

Now how does love respond to differences. We have different personalities. We have different backgrounds with different gifts. Those of you that are in a significant relationship or married. It was your difference is the dream together and if been married much time at all. It is your differences that make you crazy right or even with friends they become good friends with someone you really like it because they're different and you and then you start hanging out with them and those differences are like Mehmet you lighten up you can make me crazy, but the church in Corinth had a lot of differences in the apostle Paul is can address this issue. Differences in fact. The truth is love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, is not easily angered, it keeps no records of of wrong that's first creek is 13, four and five note make sure you get the core of it. Pull out your pencil, underline the word envy. Underline the word boast rude not self-seeking, easily angered, keeps no record of wrongs. This is how love responds to differences and you would find it far from a beautiful poem that Paul is writing is that he's actually giving correctives to how this church was treating one another and so it says love doesn't end he will.

They were envying in chapter 3, and he addresses it it says love doesn't boast. He actually says why are you boasting in chapter 4 in chapter 11. They were rooted in the way they took the Lord's supper. In chapter 6 they were self-seeking. There actually going to court and suing one another and when you get all that conflict gets what they're easily angry at one another and their holding on and their bitter and resentful and so Paul sank. That's not how love responds to differences in chapter 12 we actually took every Bible open up first creek is chapter 12 keys expressed to them how love actually works pieces in the way love works is love celebrates our differences love looks at different people and realizes it's kind like little pieces of the puzzle is that everyone of them is important in their different colors and their different shapes, but love celebrates differences and love refuses to compare and so he gives the analogy of the human body and so he writes the body. This is chapter 12 verse 12. The body is a unit get the idea of oneness or wholeness notes made up of many parts and all the parts are many, they form one body, so there's differences diversity and there's unity now he applies a so it is with Christ, for we were all baptized by one Spirit and one body, whether Jews or Greeks or slave or free, and were all given the one Spirit to drink that now when we read slave or free Jew or Greek. We think, I mean, these are people that didn't get along at all before they came to Christ he saying you are very very very different. But now you are part of something that's bigger and more important in your new relationship. Your part of the body of Christ. The church now the body is not made up of one part but many and he gives a hypothetical situation. He's using the human body to make his point about love doesn't compare. He says at the foot should say because I'm not a hand, I do not belong to the body. It would not for that reason cease to be a part of the body, and if the ear should say because I'm not and I don't belong to the body.

It would not for that reason cease to be a part of the body and then goes on to say, if the whole body were an eye wear with the sense of hearing be if the whole body were an ear with a sense of smell be decent. We need every part of the body, but in fact God is arrange the parts in the body. Every one of them just as he wanted them to be.

If they were all one part, where would the body be as it is there many parts but one body you might underline that little phrase in your Bible just as he wanted them to be in so you understand that you are fearfully and wonderfully made that your unique that your physical body. How you process information. Your spiritual gifts your weaknesses, your strength and the sovereignty of God, even the kind of experiences up and down. You've been through you bring something unique that no one else does. And if you compare our copy or be like someone else, we lose you and we need you.

He was on to say verse 21 the eye cannot say to the hand. I don't need you and the head cannot say to the feet.

I don't need you on the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable in the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special favor in the parts that are un-presentable are treated with special modesty. While our presentable parts of no special treatment. Now here's the application. But God has combined the members of the body and is given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so there would be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other key application.

He says God has done this in a way so that there's no division and we have equal concern for one another. This church was very divided to say it was cliquish is an understatement. This church was backbiting, gossiping, arguing and and here's the thing. The problem doesn't just rest with the Corinthian church in the first century, every church, every family, every organization if you compare instead of celebrate differences. It always produces bad bad things. In fact, it kills love. We take differences and instead of saying were different. We look at differences and we say people that are different. Some of them we think will do better than us, and we envy them and some people were different. We think will there less than us and so were arrogant toward them in the apostle Paul's NSA that these are the issues he wanted to address and that the Corinthian church had to unloving responses when it came to differences.

The first is envy and the second is arrogance. Those two issues I want you to come to CMS as a singular coin and the coin is in your relationships in my relationships in the Corinthian relationships.

The question is how do you respond to differences and some people respond by comparing and the outcome is envy. Other people respond and compare in a different way, and the outcome is arrogance and if you look at those words, we read he says love is an MVS love isn't boastful or arrogant every other little phrase after that is the fruit of either being MVS or arrogant. Here's what I want you, I mean this is what we want after this is the jugular you want to become more loving in real time. Here's the issue. Comparison always leads to carnality. The moment you compare your hair with another person. Your car with another person.

Your gifts with another person. Your singleness for the person your marriage with another person how God is using or not using you how much money you have, where you live what you drive, the moment you ever compare yourself with another person.

It always produces carnality and if you're wanting what carnality is distant you not loving because the moment you compare there's only two directions ago you start comparing to go. I think that persons up here and I'm here. That's a lot nicer car. They have more visible gifts.

I'm single, never married, and I wish I was married or goes the other way and what that person is not very important.

That's an old dumpy thing.

I wonder why they act like that. I wonder why they dress like that and you know what you don't verbalize it, but you feel superior.

You feel better than and when you envy people you don't treat them in loving ways. Or if you think you're better than them. You don't treat them in loving ways and so here's what I want you to see. We are going to go to war. On the issue of comparison and comparison is one guy said I love it. Comparison is like a Mafia boss Mafia bosses that think they don't they don't ever commit murders have hitmen they never get their hands dirty. And so what happens is comparison is really what we want to go after, but there's two hitmen one is envy and the others arrogance envy compares upward and produces jealousy, anger, resentment and bitterness and the texture. This is the foot says to the hand. The foot says to the Hannah units a foot, says a hand missing fair. I don't like what you've got. I mean, I'm you know I'm on down here in the ground and there's some upbeat or dirty and and and and later people put socks on it on the people who see me in and had to wear these shoes and they can hurt my feet look into your hand. If it rings on years you paint your nails coming your hands do surgery. Your hands play instrument year important and I'm a nobody. You see envy always compares upward and then it produces jealousy, anger and resentment. The word here in Hebrew means something that's has connotations of something that's red-hot it's it's it's it's it's this this this emotion that when you begin to envy someone something burns inside to go something like this year single and have a desire to be married and you're now with your third roommate in your first two roommates came home after date and they said something like some exciting I'm engaged in. Your response is all that's wonderful on the outside and on the inside there's this burning.

I can't get it.

I may not tell you what I've been doing it God's way. I'm sexually pure. I'm trying really hard to go to church. She's a once a month or God.

What's the deal. How come she's right or your Bible study and people don't know it but you know they ask often you been married, six, seven years don't have any kids all well we just kind you spent all kind of money and you can't have children and then you're one of these Bible studies and unit descriptions.

We know we were thinking about having kids, but it's been nine months, 11 months, we still can't and then to come to a Bible study or life could come pregnant and like everyone else. All that's wonderful in your insides. Go God coming. We spent thousands of dollars we done this this unit. Why do they get that see, by definition, envy is you looking at what someone else has or what someone else is and you think if you had it, or were it then you would matter, then your soul then your heart may in your life would be complete and underneath of it. It's not fair. God, if you really love me. I wouldn't be single if you really love me when you have kids if you really love me, I'd be the top salesperson. If you really love me after I gave all that money. How could you let this happen when the recession hit, and so rooted in her belief system that God is it really good. You compare upward and you envy him the envious person has some feelings and attitudes of the go something like this. I don't belong. You don't need me. The feelings move on to a pattern inside the heart and inside the heart. It's like what I feel less than them. You both went to school together. You both had careers together. Seems like their careers here, and yours is there and when you're with them and you used to be great friends but they talk about this world that you feel like why don't I have that and now you feel less than in the second step is you don't want to be around him because we don't like to be around people who make us feel less than and then after we move from feelings of less than to not being around them.

Then we resent them so little you know my sister and her husband, how come they got the new car guy. That woman a person at work and by the way, these are things we usually there so delicate and and often when you look at them and get them out the pretty ugly. These are not like privileges. Could you help me once last time someone said excuse me have a prayer request on the very envious person you think you help me with my jealousy. I'm not her lot as per request. The word literally means in Greek to eagerly desire and often the way we try and solve. This is very unhealthy high consumption want to be married.

While I have a desire, I shouldn't feel that way can you just beat yourself up. It doesn't work.

The word means to eagerly desire in chapter 12 verse 30 want to choose positively in chapter 14 verse want to choose positively in chapter 14 verse 39 the exact same word eagerly does not. Here's the deal. It can either mean to be jealous or coming to be zealous and the only issue is the focus of your want. He says I want you to eagerly desire spiritual gifts, OGE really desire to prophesy or use your gift to honor build up people.

So here's what I want to get on envy. It's this thing called this eager desire for something and let's say that you have an eager desire even desire in your heart for a bigger home in your motivation as you have the gift of hospitality and you're not comparing with other people, but if you had more room. You could serve and love more people. That's called zealous desire to honor God. But let's say you have a desire for a bigger house, and the desire for a bigger house is everyone you know is getting bigger houses and you are sick and tired of inviting them into your condo or your smaller house and down deep you feel like you will demonstrate that you have arrived.

When you have a bigger house that's called envy or jealousy. If you if the desire is to try and matter more jealousy if the desire is gone. I want this to minister more deeply.

It's zealous God honoring desire.

You need to redirect your desires not try to kill is nothing wrong with the desire. If you're single, to be married is nothing wrong with the desire of your don't have kids want to have kids.

There's nothing wrong with the desire to be up on the sales force to earn a better living. There's nothing wrong with it. Those are honest desires. But the moment you compare is stopped loving you stop loving this would be the time in my notes where I should write down ship pregnant pause. Give them time to think about the specific person that they envy got him her fellow worker someone sometimes it happens inside him will be right back with application just joining us, you're listening to Living on the Edge with Chip Ingram and chip stock today.

What's love got to do with it is from his series, spiritual simplicity, doing less loving more spiritual simplicity challenges. The norms were pressured to assume are healthy and it reveals the reasons behind our complaints that there's never enough time for ourselves for the people we love. For even God.

Spiritual simplicity paves the way to living a simpler, wiser, more connected life that something you'd like to learn more about you find the discounted spiritual simplicity resources on our website LivingontheEdge.org for more information just give us a call at 1-888-333-6003 spiritual simplicity doing less loving more tribunals we talk about spiritual simplicity. It's so much more easily said than done. And even once were convinced it's a good idea. There are things that block us from actually making some of the changes we like to make Dave that is so true. And you know, I know from experience. A person can hear teaching like they just turn and in their heart of hearts that I really want to love more young going to try harder. I'm going to do that and then you know the lies bubble up. It's like oh well by trying to do that. I just get rejected again more you know, I don't know the first thing about love or nobody loves me. What makes me think I could ever be more loving. I want you to know that those lies that bombard you that cause you to be afraid to love or to try again.

Therefrom, the father of lies and those lies are bombarding everyone, but I believe women are even more vulnerable than men. Women today are constantly bombarded with images and comparisons of what they should be and how they should look in that they don't measure up in these false images that no one can live up to. As a result of that we created what we call affirmation cards and my wife was the first one she actually developed these as we went through marriage counseling. The first few years and she wrote these cards about the lies that everyone believes but especially women, and then she wrote on the other side.

The truth, and that the counselor said if I was a good husband and I really loved her. I would sit with her and reviewed these and so I did some guys I have to tell you yes we talk about there for women. I realized after I reviewed those cards I had as many or more issues than her and all the truth that she was memorizing literally change my life. Well anyway, back to you ladies.

These affirmation cards. If you long to grow. If you long to see yourself as valued and wanted and precious and lovely in such a way so that you now can give love because you received it. These affirmation cards are something that you can do just a few minutes every day as you wake up as you go to bed and I will guarantee your mind will be renewed. Your perspective will change. You will be able to receive love and then give love in ways like never before. We all tend to believe lies about our self-worth and value, which is why it's so important for you to renew your mind with the truth of God's word all Reformation cards provide specific scriptures to help you do that these attractive hard stock cards are designed to strengthen and equip you to win the battle for your thoughts about who you are to preview our affirmation cards online. Just go to LivingontheEdge.org order your set today and maybe even get a second set to give to a friend or to send as a gift affirmation cards you'll find them@thelivingontheedge.org or give us a call at 1-888-333-6003 as we closed today's program and since this issue of comparison is so deeply rooted in your psyche and mine let me do just a little review, lean back if you're kinda running on a treadmill or unit. If you're in the car it just leaned back a little bit and listen when love is minimized.

The trivial becomes maximized when you start obsessing about trivial stuff you can know that love is being minimized. Second thing is our Miss beliefs about possessions and about power and prestige. They fuel our propensity to compare that idea that you know if we have and can attain and perform in those external things are gonna make us a somebody. I mean, that's like pouring gasoline on the fire in your soul of comparing with other people and it always turns out negative. The third is remember comparison always leads to carnality me. No matter which direction you go you compare older better than me.

I'm a nobody, or I'm better than them. I mean, it's either envy or arrogance to talk about the latter. In our next broadcast but just ask yourself when and how and with whom do I compare and then finally you know God what he want me to do what can I do this day to stop the comparing and here's one little tip. I'll give you into our next broadcast. When you start to compare instead stop.

Thank God for that person in the way he made them for what he gave them, and thank God for you and the way he made you and what he gave you. You do not know what is all going on that person's life. You know they may have a nice car and a beautiful viscera great that you do not know what's going on just thank God that he was generous and kind with them and then thank God for what he's given you and who you are. It's a choice you cannot envy and compare when you're thanking God for who you are and what is already done for you. It'll realign and recalibrate your soul. Do it today just before we close our mission, Living on the Edges to help Christians really live like Christians. One of the ways we do that is by giving away free resources. So when you hear a message. That's especially helpful. We hope you'll pass it on to others. These free messages are easily shared from the chipping roadmap or by forwarding the MP3s from our website. LivingontheEdge.org. Don't forget to include a note about how it made a difference in your life will be sure to be with us again next time.

When she continues his series for simplicity doing less loving this is Dave really saying thanks for listening to this additional Living on the Edge