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Never give up. Today call the ministry representative at 866-626-4356 or online where LTW.org welcome to leading the way with pastor and author Dr. Michael you sent today. Dr. Yousef continues his audio series called crafted marriage God's way with a pointed word about communication and you are in for a special treat today to, as he will be inviting his wife Elizabeth to share some special insights to complement the teaching to listen along with me as Dr. Michael Yousef begins what you are going to show special young couples with children. We want to share with you three things that we have discovered in our lives that can be a conversation killer conversation destroyer and imparts the power of conversation which must take place a number under all start with a C it's calendar children and conflict. What I mean by calendar.

Please listen carefully. Young moms and dads all wanted tell you is God more witness and you've probably heard me say this before all stand in all.

I was stunned and all of how young couples are running haggard. I don't know how they cope. Honestly, I'm in your schedule is wall-to-wall with activities and the running around from this to that of the other things the mothers working outside of the home you add long hours of work, running errands, driving children from one activity to another, driving children from one sport to another and it all seems to be endless. As I watch I am amazed of how they even cope in all of these activities leave very precious little time for husbands and wives to have meaningful conversation.

Many marriages appear to be healthy. On the surface, but they might be because the first couple will have ceased to converse and are contented with webinar. There are some who have confused the busyness and activities with happiness. The truth is there are many couples who found themselves to be so drained of energy very are so emotionally exhausted. They never scheduled timeout for themselves just for the two of them they never scheduled time just for conversation between them.

They reserve no time for talking and listening and reacting and reacting to each other. They never set aside time whether actually exchange some thoughts and yes feelings. This elegance feelings. Feelings are important, unknown, surprising some of you then set aside a time of unhurried time to focus on each other and the fact is, without that healthy conversation and again I don't mean just in words but in every aspect of it, but be problems I'm going to back to this at the end of the message so calendar if it is not managed rightly correctly. If it is not planned well with the time in the middle for conversation with each other alone.

It raises a problem. Secondly, children, especially small children. It's not a secret surprise to anybody who knows me. I love children. I really do love the children.

This church, I cherish and love my children, my grandchildren, but there can be no doubt the children can be one of the most important results of intimacy. In March, I want to emphasize this but the truth is, small children can be. As I said can be one of the biggest hindrances and intimacy and conversation in March.

Children bring some of the greatest blessings that you can ever imagine and murder. And yet they also bring one of the great responsibilities in my and for the first 18 years of their lives. They are absolutely thoroughly dependent on their parents for substance and for support, but many parents, including your pastor made the mistake of thinking that children must come first in the marriage relationship in the early 80s when our children were very young. Like many young parents. We wanted to be good parents is wonderful and we began our focus all of our attention not only each other but we placed them squarely on our children.

Now don't misunderstand me. Please don't misunderstand taking very good care of the kids is of vital importance. I am not minimizing that at all. But I want to confess that in that area special to me. I am what you call a Jewish mother and I mean that is absolute complement trust Montgomery.

I am really a Jewish mother back in the 80s I heard a preacher was telling this about the story his own life. He said you know he grew up in New York and had Italian family and his best friend was a Jewish boy and he said one. I was going opposite Arlene Holman my Italian mother circulatory schedule lunch but is should go over there. The Finkelstein's and then pick up Joe and he said his Jewish mother says Joe. Don't forget your books. He said so the Italians grow up to be fat and Jewish kids grow up this matter. The truth is I as a parent both a Jewish mother and Italian mother again. I want to emphasize that loving and taking care of the children is of utmost importance. I'm not minimizing that. Please understand when the helpless babes are totally dependent on you and then one elementary school and they need help with the homework and then when they go through the tough years of teen years and they need loving counsel and understanding, and all of that takes time and it takes attention away from the spouse. Now the question is how do you create a balance how the credit balance was is already told him was Jewish and Italian.

I don't have much balance. I really do. I struggle for balance, but the one who is truly a balanced person. The most balanced person I know is going to come up and again I just want to thank you for letting me do this. This is not easy for her and she agreed to. I want to know each to begin weed with the house that he transforming how the Lord in my life I wouldn't be standing before you, I am fully aware of my weaknesses that fully trust in the he was able to take these were it's and I pray that it will be used for his glory. Michael mentioned that he 1980s with jeering fat. We had three children between the ages of four and six have and we were involved in a really schedule. Not only that he was heating up a international ministry which involved for overseas trips, and he and each trip was at least two weeks.

You know I was PC. I do know that I did a really good to SKIP PC maintaining I was doing the usual. You know keeping food on the table. Laundry jangling carpool synthesizing homework tempting us to successful after school activities and so attempting to be disciplinarian more often than not one as the three kids EC and you know the precious seem to be on me and not on the S and the saying goes that squeaking Alito is the one that gets the attention and many of us. My children it's not to say a man he attention course in actual fact patent right that I realized they had become my focus. There was also the regular interruption of transitioning you know when Michael was gone. I sort of talk leadership role control of all aspects of the family and then of course when he would come back. I was very relieved to see you hand over the created a little tension all these had not happen right.

It was building up gradually over the we were actually if you think on two different tracks and we lost the focus of serving each other in marriage being self's and you know it was just totally not right and it wasn't until we had reached the point of crisis in our marriage that the Lord graciously revealed to him.

Both of us to build each other up in communication and it was obvious certainly to me. I think to us we needed to take radical states so for me, I was convinced it wasn't just a matter of staying on sorry it's what the Bible talks about repentance when you retained. You do not face so we just now with the strength of the Lord, that we would set aside each week to tie that each time to build a relationship and then to three times during the week away. It's so easy to fall into this life is not because of the sleep you responsible for over eight basic needs nurturing the problem is when you replace these above what really should be the first priority and that's looking to the best interests of night. Today it's even appropriate problem because of how little gadgets I see is young women, the sort of desire to purchase the perfect child the perfect family.

Now, Pinterest and Facebook have really sipped his service center but it's and of course Satan, the enemy of FAFSA, the oldest trick he is able to use what is seen, you know, rearing children to be God-fearing responsible adults and eat for his own evil purposes. Monica for all of you is that the Holy Spirit will reveal to you the first area is your relationship need to be change that need to be restored.

The little idols. Perhaps you created will be torn down, that you will actually best to take on that relationship with you might Rescue. I'm grateful to the Lord for that wake-up call back amounted with Saul later as we help other young couples that when they do not get that wake-up call.

In time when the last child leaves home. The husband and wife discover you have nothing in common. The kids were the only subject of the conversation. The kids were on the subject of the planning records will be on the subject of the time and energy and effort and so when you become empty-nesters, they discover that they have nothing to talk about our pray to God that this will change. I've seen it again and again and again and that's what Elizabeth said that when we speak to your moms and dads. We strongly urge them that they must get away from the children for time alone without the children. And even when you're away the temptation at times is that the conversation would veer toward the subject of children within you have to really stop and intentionally change the subject.

Develop common interest for both of you calendar children finally conflict.

More to the point clear of conflict. Listen carefully for fear of conflict. One of the great fallacies says that good marriages do not have any conflicts or that conflicts a bad for marriage.

But no matter what I said in the first message that in our home with two spiritual to call of conflicts or arguments which I would call a vigorous discussion, but hear me out on this one. Conflict is neutral. If you handle conflict wisely then will lead to greater joy and intimacy. If conflicts are handled foolishly, they will lead to further isolation and I can tell you with a certain degree of certainty that if a husband and wife never have any conflicts at all. Chances are they are not conversing with each other. Here is what both should do about conflict. Listen to me very carefully. Three things again. First of all agree to identify the conflict issue. The points of conflict identified the garage imbalance you want to secondly discuss together common agreement on how you should deal with them and then develop a procedure letter sound like a business, but I will is much simpler to develop a procedure about how you going to do this, then absolutely determined to deal with those conflicts as soon as it arrives. But before you do all the three things. If you haven't already learned to pray together hold hands and start praying to go.

It is the most spiritual intimacy that I can recommend praying together invite God into the situation. Pray confessing your sins, not just processing equipment. Pray surrendering your agenda not there. Lord help my spouse to surrender their urgent not yours. Pray for God to reveal to you your own inadequacies your own weaknesses your own failures then pray for the love of God to be poured into your hearts toward your spouse as I conclude, I'm always conscious of the fact that somebody here is a Michael in our marriage conversation doesn't even exist or in our marriage.

Our conversation stopped long time ago wherever your nothing is impossible for to which we believe that we saying that we read that in the Scripture, but then we got practices are appropriate wherever you are. You can jumpstart the conversation in marriage and you can jumpstart at any point.

Think of those romantic times when you were dating that helps.

Think of the tender moments that you had in the early days, and number. Then make some strange sounding words such as telling your spouse that he or she is God's gift to you. Tell your spouse how much you really love them. Above all, don't forget that there are hundreds of ways by which you can converse even more than verbal smile in my crock you cheeks but do it. The adoring Luke sure the lead of your spouse praise something important to them not to you, praise him important to him or her. And if you haven't read Gary Chapman's book the five love languages argument. Try to find out your spouses love language and speak that language. Not yours. We all love to speak our language. I know that haven't crossed languages.

It's hard to just speaking another language, but you can under the power of the Lord Jesus Christ. After all, here's the one who spoke our love language when he left the glories of heaven, and came and identified with us identify with our deepest longing seeing that our deepest need in our deepest longing is to know that we are forgiven, healed and restored, he did exactly that on the cross every time you feel that you're angry or rejected or lonely, you will hear in his word were those offered by his Spirit that he would say to you, and you hear him over and over again saying your loved by me that you will never be rejected by me. I am always with you. You are never alone with me. I love you.

I can meet you at every part of your need. My everlasting arms are underneath. My plans for you or for good and not evil you are engraved on the palms of my hands. You are carrying on my shoulders.

You touches you, touches the apple of my Language Spoken Language, and He Said All of This Course. Rosalynn Now Imitate Limited Relationship You're Listening to Leading the Way As Dr. Michael Yousef Concludes His Series Helping You Align Your Relationships with God's Word. And Hey, If Today's Teaching from Dr. and Mrs. Use That Challenge You to Learn More about Biblical Relationships and Marriage That's Great and We Encourage You to Listen to the Series Again. Maybe Listen Together with Your Spouse Tackling Some of Those Communication Obstacles We Mentioned Today or Share It with Family and Friends. The Place to Go Is LTW.org When You Get There. Click on Listen Right at the Top of the Page Work at the Leading the Way. Once Again the Series Is Called Crafted Marriage God's Way. You Can Also Reach out to Leading the Way through the Website. LTW.org or Call a Ministry Representative.

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