Developing Authentic Self-Esteem

Scientists and experts tell us that by the time a child 880% of the self-esteem is already developed and by the time they become teenagers. Their self-worth is fully developed, although there can be still some changes during the early adolescence, but nonetheless that early time in the life of a child is of vital importance, but is the cash if parents build their child's self-esteem and self-worth based on performance or looks or accomplishments when that child becomes an adult he or she will always associate their self-worth and their self-esteem with accomplishments and would Lipson with performance and when they cannot perform overlooks change or when they cannot accomplish their self's steam collapses with them and they live the life and discouragement and defeat.

But if self-esteem and self-worth is based on the assurance of unqualified love and acceptance. It is based on the assurance of total security that person when they become an adult. No matter what happens, regardless of the circumstances, regardless of their accomplishments. Regardless of the degree of their success regardless of lives ups and downs that person self-esteem will not suffer and I want to declare to you this morning that this is thoroughly biblical and show it to you. This is absolutely biblical. Let me explain. The person who self-esteem is founded upon the knowledge of the overwhelming unqualified love and grace of God. That person will have confidence in God regardless of the circumstances that person will be strong when others of failing that person will be positive even when he or she is surrounded by negative people and negative circumstances that person will be self-assured when others are tormented, it's like that new recruit in the Army that I read about several years ago who obviously had his self-esteem all built on the right stuff and so when they're all lined up and the drill Sgt. barked at them and said all you dumbbells fallout with all that except for him.

He stood tall and so in the drill sergeant was really angered by what he saw as defiance. He walked straight up to this young man this young rookie and he looked him in the eye and the Sidwell. The young man said that a lot of them on. They serve as our doctrine of haft when you develop confidence in the unshakable, unstoppable, unchangeable, unconditional, unqualified love of God, you will experience authentic self-esteem in your Christian life, self-esteem that is authentic and that is real will impact you in all of your dealing with other people in all you dealing with your family and all of your dealing with business that self-esteem will not be impacted by what others say about you that authentic self-esteem will not be impacted by the unfair criticisms of others of you that self-esteem that authentic self-esteem will not be impacted by events in your life it will not be impacted by your own self imposed limitations for life at its best.

The series would be looking at from first John life at its best, before he lived until you and I deeply drink from verses 17 and 18 of first John chapter 4. Listen to me, confidence, self-esteem, self-worth, all can be a very hello they can be superficial. They can be temporary if they are not anchored in the one who loved us perfectly and we saw from the last message because God took upon himself human nature in the person of Jesus Christ and therefore everyone who surrendered the life to Jesus Christ as the Savior of the soul and the Lord of the life have received from the hand of God. The divine nature.

You say how can I be absolutely certain of this. How can I be absolutely sure of this. What we saw in the last message that you can be certain you can be sure that you have received the divine nature and you by loving the way Jesus loved. Today John is going to show us the power of the love of Christ working in us. He will show us how God's perfect love accomplishes certain things in our lives. And there are at least two first he says that perfect love. Once you understand it. Once he comprehended once you revel in it is going to exude confidence not in yourself but in him.

Verse 17 first John four. Secondly, he said it will ask for lab fear out of your life. Verse 18 it would exude confidence. Look at verse 17 with me in this way I want to tell you why that phrase is the key. He said in this way. Love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him.

I promise you if you ask an average person. What do you think of the day of judgment. That person does not know the Lord Jesus Christ is going to react in one of two ways either his gonna deny that there is such a thing or he will tell you that he's terrified of it that either afraid of. Although denied it. That's basically the two responses that you get from the average person in the street, but that is not the case with those who have experienced the perfect love of God that is not the case with those who daily revel in that unqualified love of God in Christ. The key phrase is articled in the beginning in verse 17 is this with in that Way Which Way Which Way, Christ way, what is Christ's way.

Perfection, wait a minute Michael understand far from perfection, imperfection, and I out as far away from each other as they come with don't you think I know that I know that I know that because that's my testimony to, but this is a fabulous news about his perfect love. Because of his perfect love for us. His perfection became ours. His righteousness became ours.

His holiness became ours. His completeness became ours is and how does that work willing to give you an ludicrous illustration. Suppose you got a very rich uncle and that rich uncle. I mean, he's got gazillions of dollars is never married and had kids.

So he leaves you his entire estate. Did you work for that state did you do anything to earn it.

He left it to you. I mean you could've worked for 10 lifetimes or hundred lifetimes. He couldn't of gotten by the state. Let's go from the ludicrous to the sublime. That's exactly what you have in Jesus Christ. You've inherited the whole estate you want, just save the turn of the when he died on the cross you've inherited the whole thing perfect love was fully displayed in Jesus Christ. He was perfect in his thoughts. He was perfect in his words. He was perfect in his deeds. He was perfect in his judgment. He was perfect in every way and when you come to Jesus Christ and receive salvation. You get the whole estate you get the whole thing you get is perfection. You get his righteousness, and so God looks at you and sees you through Christ through his perfection in this holy season. You and that's what's in this way means look at it again now with new eyes. Verse 17. In this way. Love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence in the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him reelected with inherited the whole thing.

Paul said similar things in Romans chapter 8 verses 16 and 17. Listen to this is that the Spirit himself testifies in our spirit that we are God's children. Now, if your children, then we are heirs, heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ. Listen to it. First John 31 the love that God lavished upon us his adopted children. He give his whole estate given her to the whole lot. This is incredible.

And when you focus on it on a daily basis. It will change your life promise you he is saying that very same love which the father has for the son became yours through grace you get that an event does not give you all the confidence in all the self-esteem in the world. Nothing will promise you a former diving champion was asked once he said how do you handle the stress that you experience as you compete internationally. He said the following words he said when I climbed to the diving board. I take a deep breath and say to myself even if I blow this dive. My mother was to love me and then I aim for excellence number 11 listen to me. If you begin your day. If you begin every day by saying, Lord, I am giving you my best.

I am giving you my mind I'm giving you my heart. I'm giving you my all in the name for excellence but then say Lord but I think you even if I blow it I noticed a lovely now you start every day. That way, and you will have success. It doesn't mean that you are going to be tempted toward self-condemnation. It does not mean that you gotta be tempted to receive the condemnation of others that heap on you, it does not mean that you not going to be tempted to receive the enemies condemnation nunnery so that the couple of messages ago when John said, even when our hearts condemn as he is what greater than our hearts. And so is perfect love is what exudes confidence.

Secondly, it expels out fear his perfect love expels fear. But in verse 18.

John said there is no fear in love but perfect love expels out fear, because fear has to do with punishment, and the one who fears is not my favorite in love and I was thinking about this this week and I thought about my very first job that I've ever had was in 1970, and it was in a telephone company in North Sydney and right smack next to the building where I worked. There was a courthouse. Now you got understand Australian for some Australians here will know exactly around talking about that in the lunch hour. All the guys will go to the pub as well go for lunch while I don't go to the pub where I found another guy who doesn't get the pub either. So what do we do a lunch hour will go across is only an alley, literally a small alley between us and the courthouse. So will take our sandwiches.

We got to the court and we sit in the gallery is a great way to spend one lunchtime economy and free entertainment.

It's it's going. I mean, and we normally would sit there and munching on our sandwiches and and looking courtroom just with the normal cast of characters you know you get that the solicitors who: lawyers herein and in the DAs and the policeman and they're all kind of going back and forth and and then the prisoner will come in are shackled in the hand of a policeman and then when the courtroom is ready, the door will open from the side and the judge comes in wearing his wig and his Roman and then becomes a solemn thing for guys like us.

We set there munching on our lunch. Not just really being entertained. We have no fear in our hearts were not trembling at all.

We have boldness to look at the judge in the eye. We can look at anybody in the room. We have no fear, no matter who it is we just sitting there, why because our name was not on the docket for that case, we were not in the prisoner's place.

There was nothing against us. As far as the law was concerned when not guilty. We the people represented by the crown in instead of hearsay the people versus that is a the crown versus where part of that crown will represented by the crown. We have the case against the guilty person and therefore nothing in our hearts whatsoever.

We just sitting there munching our sandwiches number 11. Listen to me. What John is saying here is that weather is here on earth order today judgment in the day to come. We have no fear with no fear neither here nor there. 100 because fear has to do with what punishment and we have escaped from best to what life we have escaped from judgment department. We have escaped from punishment to grace we have escaped from darkness to light, we have no fear, neither human, now nor in the data come why because now we know with absolute certainty. We know with absolute assurance that our names are not on the prisoners list that on names.

I'm not on the accused list that are names another convicted list.

In fact, is on the contrary, names are written in the Lamb's book of life.

Names are engraved with all his wounded hands on names are imprinted on his righteous brow on names are written on his holy, righteous, sacred man.

What I want to tell you is whenever love exists.

Fears vanished. In fact that's what John is saying I'm not making it up. I'm telling you what he said let me ask you this. What brings confidence in her wife's heart and I will be using this because the Bible talks about the group and the bridegroom, but brings confidence. Her husband's unqualified love. There is not a wife in the world who would live in fear and terror in her house when she knows that her husband's love and dedication is for her when she knows that her husband's unqualified love is for her when she knows that her husband's total commitment is to her when she knows that her husband's strength is for her protection when she knows that her husband undying love belongs to her bridegroom loved us perfectly perfectly and you must never ever ever doubt and if you do get back to first John 417 and 80 you never that is perfect love for you and works the same thing with our children will try to instill authentic self-esteem, not phony and passing not self-esteem that comes from throwing the ball in the basket were able to hit the ball or able to do these good things, wonderful as they are not from there looks no no no no in the authentic self esteem that is instilled in the children listen you tell your child that I love you and nothing is going to change that no matter what you do.

My love for you will never change. You can never do anything to make me love you more. You can never do anything to make me love you less you kill your child you will never reject him or her. No matter what she does, that they have your name and is imprinted in the name all to be sure I'm going to discipline you. To be sure I'm penetrating you to be sure I will exercise rewards and punishments.

I will tell you right from wrong to be sure I will allow you to know and feel the consequences of wrong choices that goes with the territory. But I would love for you and my love for you is permanent and that I'll never reject you no matter what a promise you they will have all the authentic self-esteem that they need.

They will grow up doing great things for God. They will grow up catching a glimpse of the perfect love of God that scares you much argument blowing with you. My child I still love you and every time you repent, forgive you because you macho military of this as I conclude the story told about a balloon salesman who would go into an area and try to attract the children in the area to come by some of his balloons when the kids start gathering. He will let different color balloons open their red balloon yellow balloon wide balloon black balloon green balloon and then the kids start coming in and start buying his balloon but one of the little fella came to him and said screws. Mr. Howe, when you let go of the red balloon yellow balloon to fly into the sky. This man looked at this little fella and said son is not the color of the balloon that matters. It's what's inside that balloon that matters that mix and fly. I wanted to hear out on this one and the apostle John is saying something very very similar. Here is saying what gives you an authentic self-esteem. What gives you confidence. What gives you boldness is the stuff that's inside of you and the stuff that's inside of you call the Holy Spirit and the stuff that's inside of you called the perfect love of God that's inside view is that the divine nature of what you become particular when you came to Jesus Christ and perceive them as the Savior of your life on the Lord of your life. I try to imagine this week to can you imagine God the son, the Lord Jesus Christ is terrified of God the father.

Can you even imagine that it's beyond the realm of possibility. On the contrary, if you read the Gospels carefully. There was an overwhelming desire, and God the son, and that is to please God the father. All he wanted to do is you want to please his daddy wanted to please.

Is that why because, beloved, listen to me. John is say because he perfectly understood that incredible perfect love of the father for and when you and I develop confidence in the everlasting undying unqualified love of the father.

You will find that far from living to please yourself, far from living a humdrum life from from living a mediocre Christian life you would want to spend every waking moment in your life to please the father and the reason God's children are not living that way is because they have failed to comprehend the perfect love of God. That was the very love that the father had for the sun become very slow-growing. There may be someone here today; I really have never experience of love of Christ, the perfect love that unqualified and unconditional. I really never understood this, you can say right now, Lord Jesus, thank you for your love and what you heard today. I thank you that is perfect love, forgive my sins, and you will heavens rejoice in the you are forgiven and then begin today to know the love that exudes confidence and expels fear. Thanks for listening to this message from Dr. Michael.

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