What to Do When You've Blown It, Part 2

Training a child requires wisdom, compassion and patience. Most of us work hard to ensure that her sons and daughters know their boundaries and become self managed adults, but most of us would also admit that we've made our fair share of mistakes along the way.

Some of those missteps are innocent easily forgotten. Others have left scars for parent and child alike today on Insight for living. Chuck Swindoll presents the 12th and final message in the biblical parenting series is chosen to speak on what to do when you've blown it.

But first, we begin with prayer. Thank you, dear father for your tender mercies. Those mercies that touch us with your heart of compassion as you find us in the midst of our mass were never one to shame or to chide because you understand this, you realize that we are but dust all of us like she had gone astray. We have turned everyone to his own way and you have laid on him the iniquity of us all hear the beat of our hearts today. Our father as we come before you, acknowledging that we do not deserve your grace, but that is what makes it grace receiving what we don't deserve, and rather than taking advantage of it. May we find ourselves overwhelmed with the goodness of it, your unmerited favor on us. Of all people. We are at odds with you not walking with you and that qualifies us as sinful people how grateful we are, therefore, that you invite sinners to come, come to me and I will give you rest. Thank you that your invitations are always marked by kindness and acceptance and understanding. You don't invite the self-righteous, the proud, the arrogant the greedy you invite sinners people like us.

Those who were broken and bruised because of our own or others' failure. Those of us who understand what it means to lose to go through the sadness consequences. You invite us to sinners, to come. Poor and needy week and worn we call you today our father to feed us the good word of God.

May it nourish our souls. May we find ourselves less preoccupied with the things of this past week or the concerns of what face us tomorrow and may we in the midst of the now here you are saying, take it to heart and allow it to guide us in the way we should go in the matchless name of Christ. We pray everyone said amen to search the Scriptures with Chuck Swindoll. Be sure to download his searching the Scriptures. Studies by going to Insight world.org/studies and other message called what to do when you've blown it. Let me begin with what I have called in the outline some painful realities of being human. First, we are all imperfect, including our children.

Romans 323 all send and come short of the glory of God.

Second, we cannot change the past. Paul writes in Philippians 313. One thing I do, forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on your the third would we are personally responsible for our own wrongs. We are personally responsible for our own wrongs. You cannot blame someone else. If you do, you're making a very terrible mistake you did wrong.

It was wrong.

You are responsible for it. You fail. Here, you failed it is your responsibility don't rationalize around it. Turn with me to one of the major prophets things Jeremiah I want you to mark this verse. I'm going to show you these two verses Jeremiah 29 verse 11 verse 12 for I know the plans that I have for you declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.

Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart, there is hope in those three verses. I love those verses God's plans for us are good plans, not for welfare or calamity or long finger pointing, bringing further shame and disgust. Our God is saying there is a tomorrow. There is a today there is something in your life beyond your past. There is a going on that can be very encouraging and if I may say it.

Kids who have blown it. Need verses like that because in the midst of the realization of the wrong your mind plays tricks on you when the enemy goes see their this is all you deserve. You're getting exactly what you have coming and if you think your God is going to bail you out of this, you're kidding yourself.

He's left you in the lurch, no I know the plans I have for you, not calamity.

The future hope welfare just what I need, just what I was a great words I want to help you press on.

My goal today. I will not hide it from you.

My goal today is to help you press on. I hope to hear from various ones of you who say as of this day I've decided I believe, and then you name it.

All of this behind I will deal with you name that and now I am pressing on going on. I'm going on. You think I could stand and preach today if I didn't believe that a failing father as I have been on a number of occasions you think I don't speak from experience when I talk about drowning in shame and blame you think is difficult for you to try being a preacher and blowing it's a terrible experience I to need relief I need hope. I need a future I need to know that there is a calamity written across my life. Joel chapter 2. Please go there next Joe what is written of the doom that is to come upon the nation, and it will be misery personified, but I'm applying it to the home and family. So understand.

I realize it has a national context, but the application of it. I will make domestic Joel two like Jeremiah 29 written to a nation that has blown it. I know that the context is a nation that has been far removed from a relationship with their God, the nation is Israel and the terrible tribulation that is come upon them. As a consequence of their failure is just about done them in. Listen to this. They have lost their hope they have lost their future.

They have lost their families, they have lost their crops and they have lost whatever might have been a relationship with their God. On top of everything.

There have been swarms of locusts that have come and eaten away the foliage, so that what was once luxuriant plants in the fields are now naked round stall that looked like bamboo pole sticking out of the ground. That's where they are and look at the words of the Lord God. Verse 21. Do not fear all land rejoice and be glad the Lord has done great things. Verse 23 all rejoice sons of Zion, be glad in the Lord your God see they couldn't be glad about their surroundings. They couldn't be glad about their failures.

The only place to find joy is in the Lord their God. Why, because he has given you the early rain for your vindication. He is poured down through the rain early and latter rain so the rains come and the threshing floors will one day be filled with grain and the vats will overflow with new wine and oil. This is a picture of the of the change of prosperity taking the place of of starvation and barren and then he adds something that is just picturesque beyond words. Verse 25. Then as you have repented, as you have seen the error of your ways that you have acknowledge the wrongdoing that I will make up to you for the years the swarming locusts have eaten the creeping locust, the stripping locusts and the knowing locusts gives me the willies. To read about locusts ever been in a locust swarm.

If you have it you can appreciate while traveling from Mount Herman back down to Southern California on Highway five. We stopped at a small service station. I got out to two up with a gasoline car and will as I walked over to open that the gas tank… Crunching under my feet, and in the looked down and it, I could not see the concrete. It was covered with moving insects. It was like a Stephen King movie coming in on me and I like to open the gas And there they were going right into where the guest needs to go in the time and I said to the station. Adorno earth is that he said look I looked over and I saw the results of the swarming knowing creeping locusts that are coming through. There was not a shred of vegetation on those crops, he said, look, there the swarm was moving in this direction and you could see some foliage, but it was rapidly fading.

What makes this interesting is the reference to the locusts is not necessarily literal, it's a reference to consequence that God is brought on the people surely includes locusts, but it has to do with their sinfulness and their failures in their neglect and their lack of attention to spiritual things. Look at the end of verse 25 the logos it happens to be my great army which I sent among you. You what it's like to go through a locust experience live on the backwash of your sinfulness, you've done wrong you failed, you play the role of a hypocrite. You lied about suddenly your life is as barren as field for the swarm is passed because you have experience the great army which God sent to the truth.

The conviction you have is a healthy conviction. It's a healthy conviction. Remember, you never turn from any addiction you never get beyond any list of failures in your life until you act knowledge you are responsible citizen army sent among you, but he doesn't stop there grateful we are next verse. You shall have those words of the future.

You shall have plenty to eat and be satisfied.

You will praise the name of the Lord your God, who is dealt wondrously with you. Then my people will never be put to shame. You know what happened.

They recovered they repented they realize the failure in the wrong and they turned to the Lord their God no longer stripped of their hope and of their future. The locust swarms of our past. Pretty horrendous. Admittedly some were worse than others. Some of you have gone through several marriages you have several families you have left a trail along the way because you have been. Along the way, unwilling to acknowledge you are the problem had an attorney speak to me this morning following the first worship service said to me. II appreciate your your words today. He said they remind me of a particular lawsuit that I was determined I was going to carry out my own personal life, he said, so I had to attorneys 11 was tough as a boot to the other one was a Christian little more compassion so the tough would said to him, just give me the time drive in acts right down the middle of his skull. The other would stood by and said you want that you want to live your life like that or do you want to be able to go on with your life. He said I want to be able to go on that acts down the middle of the skull doesn't help my problem may give me a little bit essential satisfaction. He said the man said to me, then I would suggest that you stop driving your vehicle by staring in the rearview mirror. Isn't that an interesting way to put now. Be careful with the statement when you leave the church today. Try driving out by just looking at the rearview mirror. You'll never even get out of the lot. You have more accidents and you can shake a stick. You can drive by staring at her rearview needed some time, but you look through the windshield to drive and he said that man said to me, I suggest that you and I spend time together and I hope you know what it means to forgive because no matter how many heads you slice into with an acts you will never find relief from your own bitterness until you deal with yourself. Someone put it well. They wrote bitterness is like taking poison thinking the other person will die. Some of you are dying because of the poison you took that when you're spending your time blaming those kids or that boss or your five euro former spouse whatever whatever the knowing, creeping locusts have taken their toll and it's time for that in the guilt you feel is a healthy guilt. It's a necessary conviction. It's a godsend to bring you to your knees as you acknowledge your own wrongdoing. He doesn't stay there. But it begins the process of his bringing relief from the swarming, creeping, knowing, stripping locusts that have eaten away at the crops.

The grain of your own life. I will tell you today that the goodness of our God is greater than the badness of our failures. The goodness of our God is greater than the badness of our failures. He will graciously give you a future and a hope. Even with the children with whom you may still feel a sense of distant so I removed from guilt and shame to recovery and renewal. This won't take long, but you have to think with me think with me now we want to move from guilt and shame to recovery and renewal want to start with what what won't help. This is a negative. Let's go there first. What won't help is to misunderstand and miss use biblical instruction. It is to misunderstand and miss use biblical instruction, numerous verses on the parent-child relationship and we worked most of them if not most, many of them. One of them was train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it.

God, it airtight hundred percent, to do that and you do that you tell them where to go. You tell another think you send them the school building go to you bear down on you. Tighten the rulebook stand over them saying there that's where you go. That's the way you go and you know what they can't wait to get out from under your influence, but I thought the Bible said no that's misunderstanding that prompts I often warn people against making God's word walk on all fours. For example, there is a verse that says and is the televangelist favorite verse ask anything and it shall be done and you have enough faith you can move a mountain of these dear people praying about them. Never ever heard of a mountain that the government are all in place, you can't push that too far.

If I believe that whatever I ask would be answered in a bad day. I would say my neighbor Lauren.

I'm tired of it or you know that boss I had back years ago strike him down with cancer, that's not verse of Scripture you use for that. That's misunderstanding the Bible and if you have heard these things, and we been presenting and you and you force them into your corner making them say what you want them to say you're going to be able not meant to say that there's a whole book called the Bible.

There are verses here and there that are meaningful and significant, but they must be taken in context with where they are found and with other verses in what is called correlation comparing this verse, ask whatever you will, in my name and it shall be done another verse ask according to my will and it will be done on then there's another verse. If there was sin in your life no matter what you ask. I will not hear what you say so there's a lot to say about prayer. You need to be careful on those subjects. So that's one thing. That'll give you trouble it won't help. Here's another would to ignore common sense all men. If I could bring one thing back to the Christian family would be common sense, just plain old common sense. If this planet needed anybody with good common sense its moms and dads, especially moms and dads with teenagers how easy to ignore all of that when we pursue the rearing of our children on today's edition of Insight for living Chuck Swindoll is talking about what to do when you blown it. To learn more about this ministry. Visit us online@insideworld.org. There's much more we need to hear from this message so make it a point to listen next time for Chuck's conclusion, but please keep listening right now because he's here to share a closing comment coming up in just a moment on a personal note, I am not a passive listener to this teaching with adult children of my own. The subject strikes close to home, and maybe you're finding this topic especially relevant as well.

For that reason, I can highly recommend the book check is written to help us is called parenting from surviving to thriving because our series concludes tomorrow. This is one of the last times I'll be mentioning Chuck's book to purchase a copy right now because if you're listening in the United States.

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You are teaching on Daniel, you said no matter how dark and scary. The lion's den is our God is bigger. That was exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you for the reminder that fears can be changed when you give them to God. Her comment touches me deeply God is using Insight for living to deliver courage to this woman who battled the virus and serves your community on the front lines where it's so dangerous I'm grateful she's a part of our family well. Just as listeners around the world need inside for living. I can assure you that we certainly need you less not allow the current crisis to become a barrier for bringing fresh hope, encourage, to those who need a calming reassurance. They were in this battle together as a family and as you are able to give a gift to Insight for living ministries, please do your contribution will make all the difference. They will give our contact information now and I look forward to hearing from you today. Thanks to pick up the phone and give us a call right now you're listening in the United States dial 1-800-772-8888 that's 1-800-772-8888 or it may be easiest to go online and give a contribution on our website insight or thank you for your generous support of this nonprofit ministry inviting you to join us again Wednesday. Chuck Swindoll concludes his 12 part series on biblical parenting right here on Insight for living.

The preceding message what to do when you've blown it was copyrighted in 2012 and the sound recording was copyrighted in 2017 by Charles R. Swindoll. All rights reserved worldwide. Duplication of copyrighted material for commercial use is strictly prohibited