Accepting Reproof from Those Who Love Us, Part 1

Welcome to Insight for living featuring another message in Chuck Swindoll's classic series on the family called biblical parenting replays you've decided to join us for practical instruction on building healthy relationships in the home.

In our culture today, we seem to celebrate the virtue of tolerance at the expense of calling out a son or daughter for their unacceptable behavior sometimes to attain all God intended, moms, dads, sons and daughters need to confront rebellion discipline combined with an occasional review are God's instruments for shaping character Chuck Swindoll begins today by reading from the proper when we open God's word. We are again dealing with three great doctrines one has to do with Revelation, which is God giving his word, revealing his word to men and women during biblical days that has ceased and then there is inspiration, where those who receive the word recorded it without error so that what you have in the original autographs is in an errant text of holy Scripture inspiration which has ceased, but now we enjoy the benefits of illumination where were able to understand grass the truths that are recorded for us like today on the subject, of reproof, if you understand anything as a result of today's teaching. It is called illumination.

The spirit of God takes print from a page burns it into your mind and then ultimately leads you to walk in it by application so we look forward not to Revelation that ceased we have God's book not to inspiration that has ceased. That passage of Scripture will be looking at each one is inspired of God, but illumination is our eyes are opened and we see we hear what we would not otherwise know I'm reading for you from Proverbs beginning at chapter 3. If you haven't already located the book, please do so.

A good way to remember is that the Psalms are right about the center of your Bible and the very next book to the right is Proverbs Proverbs 3 verse 11 my son, do not reject the discipline of the Lord overload is reproof, for whom the Lord loves he reproves, even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights in turn to chapter 15 chapter 15 verse five a fool rejects his father's discipline, but he who regards reproof is sensible. Verse 10.

Grievous punishment is for him who forsakes the way he who hates reproof will die. Verse 31 of the same chapter 1531, he whose ear listens to the life giving reproof will dwell among the wise. He who neglects discipline despises himself, but he who listens to reproof acquires understanding one other Proverbs chapter 27 verse 627 six faithful are the wounds of a friend. The deceitful are the kisses of an enemy, and finally a few verses from the sixth chapter of Ephesians verse one chapter 6 Ephesians children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise, so that it may be well with you and that you may live long on the earth father's, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord such wise counsel from a book that is ageless, timeless and true to search the Scriptures with Chuck Swindoll. Be sure to download his searching the Scripture study by going to Insight world.org/studies and other message called accepting reproof from those who love us. I have never heard anyone speak on reproof's is not interesting even though I have a listen to numerous messages about the home and family. I have delivered a number of them in my ministry.

I do not believe there's ever been a time that I pulled back and looked at the value of the reproof's that come from those who love us. In fact, it is mentioned so seldom that some of you may not even know what I'm referring to, among other things it has to do with caring enough to confront exhibiting tough love speaking the truth at the right time for the right reason in the right way single hard thing to someone who we love helping them understand that there's a blind spot in their life that is detrimental to them and or to others. Now you just don't do that with strangers on the street.

Of course not, you would lean over and say to someone sitting right next to you. I need to reproof you about something if you don't know them, and you certainly should never do such things in public and so for this reason, it is something that fits the home perfectly, as were growing up we have parents who observe things about our behavior or our attitudes and they address them if they are faithful, loving parent, and many of us were blessed with such and then as we marry we find that the wife or the husband takes up that role, and on occasion will say things no one else would say this is especially true when an individual has reached a place of power over people or role of real authority that when someone handed me a letter that Clementine Churchill gave her husband Winston a wife's letter to her husband. What's interesting is that it was sent to him on on the month and in in the year when the blitzkrieg was at its height. You were too young to know anything of the second world war would not know that the then moved while the German bombers came in mercilessly bombed Great Britain hoping ultimately to break her back. The pressure, the stress of that time rested from him in many ways on the shoulders of Sir Winston Churchill, the Prime Minister, a powerful man in a powerful position who ultimately led that nation to victory in the midst of that time. 20 as he called his wife Ruth, this letter my darling. I hope you will forgive me a note when you start with a letter like that you know you're in for some real tough talk. I hope you will forgive me if I tell you something I think you ought to know, one of the manager entourage, a devoted friend has meant to me and told me that there is a danger of your being generally disliked by your colleagues and subordinates because of your rough sarcastic and overbearing manner.

It seems your private secretaries have agreed to behave like schoolboys and and take what's coming to them and then escape out of your presence, shrugging her shoulders higher up with an idea is suggested say at a conference. You are so contemptuous that presently no ideas, good or bad, will be forthcoming. I was astonished and upset. She writes because in all these years I have been accustomed to all those who have worked with and under you.

Loving you. I said this in and I was told will no doubt it's the string my darling Winston. I must confess that I have noticed a deterioration in your manner and you are not so kind as you used to be is for you to give the orders and they are they are if they are bungled except for the King the Archbishop of Canterbury and the speaker you can set anyone and everyone. Therefore, with this terrific power.

You must combine her vanity, kindness and a possible Olympic column. I cannot bear that those who serve the country and yourself should not love as well as admire and respect you decide you won't get the best results by the arrest ability and rudeness. They will breed either dislike or a sleeve mentality and rebellion in wartime is out of the question. Please forgive your loving, devoted and watchful plenty to Winston Churchill why did work. She's his wife.

She has a corner on his attention in life. No other woman does. She has the discernment that has been gleaned and gained over years of marriage she knows her darling Winston.

She knows him well enough to confront because she knew that if it continued it would take a toll on the morale of the people, to say nothing his own immediate associates and team members so allow me to spend a little bit of time defining the term and then will look at sections of Scripture where it is mentioned and draw from that truth to live by. When we reprove another person. We confront attitudes and/or actions that need to be corrected.

We refuse to look the other way, or just ignore because they're under stress and strain because we know that what we are sharing is good for the one we love and those whose lives she or he touches to reproof is the risk saying the hard thing it is to point out what needs to be addressed and probably won't be by most other people. If anyone again. It's caring enough to confront how valuable our friends who love us that much. It was Sir Francis Bacon in the 17th century, who wrote in his essay on friendship. The best preservative to keep the mind in health is the faithful admonition of a friend. I hope you have a few I'm sad for you. If you do not. I regret for your life will go without the watchful eye of one who loves you enough to tell you the truth reproof isn't condemning criticism. It isn't a public rebuke that embarrasses it isn't an angry outburst reproof isn't constantly finding fault. So if you're going there, stop going there and reverse your direction. None of us need someone who constantly finds fault with us and unfortunately I have seen marriages like that.

I've seen young adult children say to me, have heard them say when I think back to our home.

All I can remember is a father's frown and a mother's critical tong said that is it.

Reproof that's condemnation, but how wise are those of us who had the privilege of listening to parents look at us and say I need to tell you something that you need to hear for your good.

And interestingly, when it was effective. It was always said in private. You were never embarrassed in a public setting reproof is to be kept on a one-to-one basis and they are in frequent and is not something you do every day.

It's it's too much. If you do this every day someone sent me the word of a man who wrote his Rabbi being of that he goes through his Rabbi nieces Rabbi something terrible is happening and I have a talk you about it.

Rabbi asked what's wrong man replied my wife is poisoning me Rabbi. Very surprised by this is, how can that be the man please. I'm telling you I am. I'm certain she's poisoning me.

What should I do Rabbi Whaley tell you what limited talk with her and I'll see what I can find out and I'll let you know week later the rabbi calls the man back and says I spoke to her on the phone and I listened her for three hours you want my advice, take the poison somewhere down the line.

There is a woman who failed to learn from the reproof so that now her life is characterized by making her husband and family miserable.

It's the result of resisting, rejecting and ignoring reproof's it's after thought and prayer, and it just the right time. It is saying in private what you know must be said, and cannot be left unsaid is speaking the truth in love, so that the other person can grow up in that area of his or her life. One of the healthy marks of a mature relationship is the freedom to talk straight. It is one of things that makes marriage so magnificent. Who else loves us like that partner loves us. Who else can we trust more to talk truth than she or he now in Proverbs chapter 3 we read of a reproof everyone would agree with. It's called divine reproof and it happens rather regularly to Christians, Proverbs 3 verse 11. My son, by the way, this is in the my son section of Proverbs, which runs from chapter 1 all the way through chapter 7 my son. My son, my son, this is counsel a daddy is getting his son. This is counsel for the family. My my son. He says in chapter 3 in verse 11. Do not reject the discipline of the Lord.

Notice it's from the Lord or load his reproof, for whom the Lord loves he reproves, even as a father correct, the son in whom he delights. Love the way that reads God doesn't reprove us because he despises us all on the contrary, he loves us so much he cannot hold back from reproving us in heaven. We all experienced. Maybe no one else said anything, but you knew when you went to bed that night. You shouldn't said that that day or when you reacted as you did at the office. You should have reacted like that you really owe them an apology that's called a reproof from God when you know that your temper has flown off the handle. Are you going to far you been overbearing. The Lord reproves you he reveals it to you. There is a voice in the night, the risen handwriting sky from God. There is just a deep down since of conviction good conviction. The right kind of guilt that says you need to get this you need to make this right. Don't despise not reject the discipline of the Lord.

He's reproving you because like a father with a son he delights in you.

One of the ways our children know that we delight in them is that we care enough to tell them the truth. Who else can we all look back on our childhood. At least I hope you can.

I certainly do to those times when our dad, our mom pulled us aside set us down the room so I want you to listen to me now because there are some things you need to learn son or sweetheart. There are some things I need to confront you your wise if you listen to that, especially if you hear it, and then began the process of breaking a bad habit.

Every time I see adults that carry out their life with a series of bad habits. I know they have not been reproof or they have been reproved and they have not accepted. Usually it means they have not been meant toward one of the great things about a mentor is not only instruction but a reproof I've had several mentors in my life.

Every one of them reproved me about something every one of them delighted in me.

I felt greatly loved but it's strong. I've heard another reproof, from one who loves me more than anyone else and she said to me you are impatient sweetheart and I will say no not and she will say no yes yes you are. For example, that you mentioned something revealed impatience and then it's even to the point where I attended Finnish people sentences reproof is hard to hear one of my mentors said to me years ago.

I'll never forget Chuck you have a great sense of humor but unfortunately it's often at someone else's expense.

He was right. That's why my humor was often back then sarcastic sometime.

I would say things that would embarrass one in the room and nobody else would laugh, but the one person who did laugh is offended at my expense. If someone is to look foolish Iota be the one that looks foolish not someone else you're listening to Insight for living in a message from Chuck Swindoll about accepting reproof from those who love us.

If you want to learn more about this ministry. Be sure to visit us online@insideworld.org receiving criticism is humbling moment I want you to hear the comments from one of your fellow listeners who's in a season of reproof and forgiveness.

Chuck is here with an important closing comment as well.

But first, as we conclude another week of Bible study together. I'll take a moment to tell you how much it means to Chuck and all of us at Insight for living. Whenever we receive your feedback.

We know that you have lots of extra pressure on your household right now with the global pandemic demanding so much attention, even so we're thrilled to hear the Chuck's teaching continues to comfort and convict recently we heard from one of your fellow listeners who shared a deeply personal response. He said Chuck thank you for your grace message about Joseph. Certainly, the Lord gave you insight and extracting grace from Joseph's hardship for my benefit, comfort and assurance.

I'm in the midst of the painful prison of injustice with only the promise from God that I'll be greatly rewarded in the future.

Surely I must forgive my tormentors and say father forgive them for, in their ignorance they don't realize what they are doing well. These sacred moments of application are made possible through the power of God's word and the many men and women are listening family who financially support Insight for living. Thank you so much for your generosity. Especially during this threatening pandemic crisis when men and women around the world are looking to this program for comfort and encouragement Chuck turn on your radio or your television and there's no shortage of advice for staying healthy these days. You know the drill, take your temperature wash your hands, it is you do sing happy birthday twice and by all means don't touch your face. I know I know these disciplines are all very important. They truly are. But at Insight for living ministries when I tell you that we are here to help. I'm referring to a much different role a different kind of discipline to see surviving copy 19 takes far more good hygiene and hunkering down at the house and so were doing what we've always done were teaching the Bible were pointing to the timeless promises of the Scriptures we open the word of God and we show you how it relates to every part of your life. Even the survival of a global pandemic for many. Coronavirus is meant we've instantly become full time remote employees and full-time homeschoolers or caregivers for our kids and grandkids and maybe for our grandparents. If you feel like you're drowning in the stormy uncharted waters.

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Accepting reproof those who love us was copyrighted in 2012 and the sound recording was copyrighted in 2017 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. all rights reserved will blind duplication of copyrighted material for commercial use is strictly prohibited