Resolving Those Parent-Child Conflicts, Part 2

When a relationship breaks down when a loved one violates your trust is not only crushing and painful. It takes months, sometimes years to restore you today on Insight for living. Chuck Swindoll continues a sermon introduced yesterday called resolving those parent-child conflicts in order to reach any measure of reconciliation.

Both parties need to forgive one another, and perhaps there's no harder expression than forgiveness.

Maybe you're thinking about a relationship that needs attention. Today's message will guide you along with the helpful book will recommend later in the program. Chuck begins with prayer, where you are right now. Life do not know who has something against you or what you were holding against another, but I will tell you before we go very far. The key of freedom from the torturers is forgiveness.

So our father replace before you these next few moments I asked for help in saying the truth saying it carefully and saying it well may land on soft soil. May it take quick route and grow deeply into our lives as we realize just how relevant your word in our fast-moving, shallow, superficial world, it is easy to skate zip along above the parade and paid little attention to the trouble we are causing or have caused her to the lingering bitterness that we are nursing because someone else has hurt us. So get our attention, speak deeply and directly and individually to us.

Maybe put out of our mind all thought of someone else being here that needs to hear this and maybe give you thanks and we are here to hear it, and to heed this message.

Thank you father for the summer months that stretched before us, may we use them to deepen our walk with you and may our walk be marked by consistency, humility, transparency and generosity in the Savior's name. Everyone said amen for living to search the Scriptures with Chuck Swindoll. Be sure to download his searching the Scriptures. Studies by going to Insight world.or/studies and other message called resolving those parent-child conflicts. There are two major issues, we must address if are going to deal correctly with the subject of forgiveness is the first when we have caused feelings of resentment in the life of another. When we are in the wrong when we have offended them or him or her. The second when we feel resentment toward another who is hurt us because of some wrongdoing. They've offended us were now left with the consequences. The first is addressed in Matthew five, second in Matthew 18. So turn to Matthew 523 and understand the custom of that era. In the first century, when you went to God in prayer.

He would often bring in animal and you would please your calls before the one you call your God, not please note what it says and there remember that your brother has something against you see where the blame is your fault. Whatever it was you did it. You said it, the verbs verse 24 leave go be reconciled and then, present your offering your heart to a massive set of multiple volumes on the dictionary of the New Testament terms as this word means seeing to it that the angry individual renounces his or her enmity seeing to it that the offended one renounces the enmity how powerful, how significant is that one word metric that further.

Ideally you go face-to-face in the right time. Having thought through your words and without casting any blame on that person or trying to justify your earlier sinful actions or attitudes. You begin with, I am here to tell you I was wrong for the more I am sorry genuinely sorry. I deeply regret my inappropriate sinful words and our actions will you please please forgive me. The person may or may not, that's another subject.

No time to deal with it. Now I'm not dealing with their response in dealing with your actions not now you're going to be tempted to think of all just make things right with God. You know God who understands everything and realizes how badly I feel about it I just leave it all with him like a little ditty wish to saying if I am wounded and he sold today if I've caused 1 foot to go astray. If I have walked in my own willful way. Dear Lord forgive, publish, you have an affinity you prevented the person you're not willing to talk to make it even more practical. Let's say I'm backing out of my parking place with my little Honda and I back into your bright red brand-new Ferrari suddenly there's a back fender that's crunched done hurt my card all I look over the goal. Lord, please forgive my negligent driving. I I've said it was stupid to run into that car. Whatever it is you're walking toward me and I'm driving out saying Lord bless you. I took it all up to him. He's taking care of it all. How you doing hi how you doing with that I made things even worse.

Why is I'm completely at fault in this gets even more complicated when I use my actions to get back at someone this past week I had a man contact me and ask if he could have some time with me that I need to mend defense fence. The offense was 18 years ago. He said something very vile and is been hunting him ever sense and I pretty much put it out of my mind and had not really mentioned it to another soul. I'm honest I'd never even told my wife what he had said to me, but he was plagued by and he he said to me, tears Chuck I want you to know, first of all, how wrong I was and inappropriate. My words were badly I feel about it very very sorry. Please forgive me. Please accept my apology course.

He seemed relieved and we talked about a number of other things but that needed to be handled first. I knew exactly how we felt. I've been there so many times I've been there with my own dear wife, I've been there, with each one of our four children had been there with friends.

I've hurt been there with colleagues, fellow ministers, because I'm just as big or rotten center as you are and I know what it feels like I'm not here to make him feel worse. I'm here to say to him. Thank you for saying that means a lot. I do remember what you said and I determined then not to harbor it against you, and I want you to know I fully fully forgive you any homework come to mind. I speak today to young and older like I speak to you were single and married I speak to you who are formerly married. Maybe multiple times. I speak to you who have done things that were absolutely immoral and because of that you have deeply deeply hurt the one who trusted you believed in you needed you. You may have abandoned your family at one time or you may have cursed one of your own children or parent, whatever it may be verses speak for themselves.

Leave go be reconciled than common finisher business attending church more often won't take the place of this action learning more verses of Scripture will not be a substitute doesn't say that leave go be reconciled.

Turn the enmity into Amity take away the offense in Matthew five we we are the offender in Matthew 18. We are the offended must turn their thank you for listening so well this is a sermon. I hope you will never forget the message of which I hope you will pass on to others who may not be hearing it but may need to now in context. Peter has a question it's a burning question because he can't figure out what to do with this individual who is really hurt him so he comes to the Lord in all sincerity and eases how often should I say should not brother sin against me and I forgive up to seven times need understand that the going rate in that day was three the Rabbi and the Pharisees taught three times you forget what Peter's double bit and added one for good measure how often seven times. Maybe it was one of the disciples.

They had a number of arguments. It was his wife and his kids was a neighbor was, but he comes in he says the question is how often seven times a look at the Lord's words. I do not say to you, up to seven times what would you believe 490. Obviously, the domain 490 he means an infinite number of time, 70×7, 70×700 Peter every time every time. Drag it around with you. Don't wait for him to come pleading for mercy and forgiveness in allotment terrorism. That's rare for you to have someone do with my brother in the Lord did with me this past week. That's rare. He's a better man for having done that. Don't wait for that. So 70×7. Peter now Jesus probably saw his mouth open and his chin hit his chest as Peter goes through Jesus and tell your story. Follow the story. The first part of the story. There is the Lord who is the focus, and that is in place of our God. Notice what he does with those who offend him to go. I do not say to you, up to seven times, but 70×7. For this reason, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to what came here is is our Lord, a King who wished to settle accounts with his lights when he had begun to settle them one who owed him 10,000 talents was brought to him much as that will. I figured several million, and then some brain in the first morning service figured it all up for me $345 million. So if that doesn't square with your wording know what his offense hang with you. Okay, forgiving. Let's say more than you and I will be able to pay back 345 million about 2 million multiple millions he owes this cane since he didn't have the means verse 25 to retain that his Lord commanded that he be sold along with his wife and children and all that he had, and repayment to be made to the slave ground. Look at this. Just like you did when you were converted, he prostrated himself just like Louis Zaffirini at the Graham Crusade in 1949 in LA he prostrated himself before him, and said to patients with me and I'll repay you everything. I don't have it but whatever it takes. I've got to have your forgiveness and the Lord took care of it at the cross at the cross. In fact that's what it says in so many words, the Lord of that slave felt compassion in that wonderful I see you back there. Louis a C murder in your heart. My heart goes out to you Louis yes compassion for the man is compassion for you would be. This is called grace, and the king of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave him the debt. How great is that that's a wonderful picture of our heavenly father we are indebted to him for a lifetime of sinfulness and he at the cross, provided his son to make the pay the penalty for our sins so that past present and future they would never be held against us marvelous as his grace we are forgiven, forgive him forgive unforgiven you don't have to plead forgiveness from God.

He is there to forgive us grace gives me air in my lungs.

It gives me reason to go on his recall. Beyond whatever today brought Ms. our Lord. He forgave him to, but the story doesn't end there.

So far we have vertical forgiveness got it see a cross vertical forgiveness. Now we deal with horizontal forgiveness to cross covers both God's forgiveness of us is complete and thorough constant consistently hours the claim but I forgiveness of one another story that's leave the womb unforgiven of 300+ million dollar debt went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him 100 in area. I used an area I in our coinage. One denarius is worth about $0.16 when a person earned in one day's wage times 100 would be $16.16 measly dollar's. This is a man who was just been forgiven if Matt did and we can even figure correctly so he and he comes in this fellow slaves who who owes him 16 bucks and you see he sees him and and and and begins to stroke him saying that what you owe me well. It was so amazing about his critical our God who forgives us and has forgiven us, and keeps on forgiving us, past, present and future our God who keeps us out of debt to him and we got a $16 bill, but he owes us and we choked him saying give me that money I'm good a hold her feet to the fire to you come to me on your knees and pay my forgiveness dear you do to be what you've done well watch closely. Sounds familiar, so his fellow slave fell to the ground and began to plead with him, saying, have patience with me and I will repeat what he was unwilling and went and threw him in prison until he should pay back what was oh so interestingly, as is always true. It was a camera there no matter what you do so by significant so when his fellow slaves snapped the pictures and went to the Lord of the slave. So what happened, they were deeply grieved and came and reported to their Lord all the way in and it happened. Now what and summoning him, his Lord said to him you wicked slave-gave you all that debt because you pleaded with me should you not also have had Mercy on your fellow slave in the same way I have mercy on you somebody do and see the connective same sentence and his Lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed. Torturers bus and it's so is the Greek verb leading to the word torture were it means skip this to subject to severe distress to torment to harass is to severe pain experience through being tormented sounds like Louis is a POW feeling the sting of the bill on his face and neck, body, now sounds like you have so you can sleep at night. This one you close your eyes you see the face in the back your eyelids. That's why that faces in bull's-eye your dartboard as well. You can't wait when that name is mentioned to say something ugly about this while you lick your wounds and nurse her bitterness called torturing. He handed him over to the truck.

How could I say that because the story doesn't end with the story. The story ends with verse 35 the application look at it. My heavenly father will also do the same. These are the words of Jesus. This is a statement of promise.

My heavenly father will do the same to you. If each of you does not forgive his Brother from your heart that he says it. My job is to declare it is obviously much more. We need to cover in this study, Chuck Swindoll about resolving those parent-child conflicts. Please stay with us during important closing comment and Chuck will continue this convicting message on the next program as well. To learn more about this ministry. Visit us online@insightworld.org. If you're a longtime listener to Insight for living.

You know, Chuck is preached a lot of sermons on the family. In years gone by, but this classic series called biblical parenting represents five decades of accumulated wisdom and insight, Chuck and Cynthia are parents to four adult children and now grandparents to one of their one book from Chuck that belonged in your collection. It would be the one that parallels our current series is called parenting from surviving to thriving to purchase a copy right now.

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You know that I'm not given to platitudes. It's the truth. And I want you to hear the comforting counsel that comes straight from the Bible but first let me remind you about our shared commitment to one another were walking through this season. This pandemic together and just as we continued delivered daily doses of biblical hope. Without interruption to millions of listeners who rely on inside for living I'm boldly asking you to reciprocate with your expression of generous support and so let me assure you, we certainly need your prayers and your donations as you stand by our side. These days these last several weeks. David's 32nd Psalm has brought a lot of comfort to Cynthia and me, especially verses six through eight. I want to read them to you. Let all the godly prey to you. While there is still time that they may not drown in the flood waters of judgment for you are my hiding place. You protect me from trouble you surround me with songs of victory. The Lord says I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you are those great words. May these inspired words from David's Psalm 32 bring you fresh hope renewed stability and a calming reassurance during the stretching days. I promise to walk this journey with you. They will not give you our contact information.

I look forward to hearing from you soon. Like today that we made it very easy to respond to Chuck Swindoll pick up the phone and give us a call if you're listening in the United States dial 1-800-772-8888 that's 1-800-772-8888 or it may be easiest to go online contribution on our website at insight.or resolving those child conflicts tomorrow insight for living.

The preceding message resolving those parent-child conflicts was copyrighted in 2012 and the sound recording was copyrighted in 2017 by Charles R. Swindoll.

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