Being Big Enough to Forgive, Part 1

When a relationship with someone were expelled. There are few sweeter words to hear them. These hey I'm truly sorry for the way up, followed by when you forgive me. Maybe you've been waiting for such a conversation well in these rare moments of humility, accepting an apology is extremely important today on Insight for living. Chuck Swindoll presents a message titled being big enough to forgive his assertion comes from a story that's recorded in second Samuel about a fractured relationship between father and son David has now left Jerusalem barefooted and weeping with hundreds of his faithful friend. It's a sad sight over for you. Absalom, his son had managed to execute a strategy to win the hearts of the people and turn them against his father David, Absalom is now taken over the throne and along with hundreds of his companions. He's on his way to kill his father, try to imagine now as if that isn't enough, out of the blue comes this weird character name shimmy. I want to read his story from second Samuel chapters 16 and 19 from the message will use sections of those two chapters.

This is from the message second Samuel chapter 16, beginning with verse five when the king got to buy Kareem a man appeared who had connections with Saul's family. His name was shimmy, son of Giro as he followed along. He shouted insults and threw rocks right and left David and his company servants and soldiers alike, to the accompaniment of curses.

He shouted, get lost, get lost, you butcher you hell hound God is paid you back for all your dirty work in the family of Saul and for stealing his kingdom.

God is given the kingdom to your son Absalom look at you now ruined and good riddance you pathetic old man Abbott shies son of Zechariah said this mangy dog can't insult my master the king this way let me go over and cut off his head. But the king said what are you sons of the ReVia always interfering and getting in the way.

If he's cursing is because God told him cursed David so who dares raise questions, besides continued David to Abshire and the rest of his servants. My own son my flesh and bone is right now trying to kill me compared to that this Benjamin Knight is small potatoes. Don't bother with him.

Let him curse. He's preaching God's word to me and who knows, maybe God will see the trouble I'm in today and exchange the curses for something good. David and his men went on down the road while shimmy.

I followed along on the ridge of the hill alongside, cursing, throwing stones down on them and kicking up dirt now this next encounter was shimmy I occurs after Absalom had been murdered so we move ahead in time.

He again shows up from nowhere, while David's family and belongings are being transported back to Jerusalem.

You might remember that what he had done to David earlier, was punishable by death. Pretty interesting.

You'll find so now we turn to chapter 19, beginning with verse 15 so the king returned he arrived at the Jordan. Just as Judah reached a Gill gal on their way to welcome the king and escort him across the Jordan even shimmy I son of Vera, the Benjamin Knight from Buck.

Kareem hurried down to join the men of Judah, so he could welcome the king of thousand Benjamin lights with him and zebra Saul's steward with his 15 sons and 20 servants waited across the Jordan to meet the king and brought his entourage across doing whatever they could to make the king comfortable shimmy I son of Vera bowed deeply in homage to the king as soon as he was across the Jordan and said don't think badly of me.

My master overlook my irresponsible outburst on the day my master. The king left Jerusalem don't hold it against me. I know I send.

But look at me now. The first of all, the tribe of Joseph to come down and welcome back my master the king at a shy son of Zechariah interrupted. Enough of this, should we kill him outright why he cursed God's anointed. But David said what is it with you sons of zero. I why do you insist on being so contentious.

Nobody is going to be killed today. I am again king over Israel.

Then the king turned to shimmy I you're not going to die in the king gave him his word site for living to dig deeper into the Bible with Chuck Swindoll. Be sure to download his searching the Scriptures.

Studies by going to Insight.org/studies and now the message from Chuck titled being big enough to forgive a hungry tramp was looking for a handout in a quite old village some time ago I read this past week, and he came upon an interesting and a pub that had the name you nicknamed the Yen of St. George and the Dragon. So we went and rather sheepishly and it was a real nice place and he he rapped on the kitchen door and a woman walked up who was the cook in and he said and she said to him what you want was tattered and and obviously dirty from having lived in the streets and he said please ma'am could you spare a bite for me to lead and she responded a bite to eat for a no good ball no go get a job like anybody else in the city and work for your food.

He walked out and is about halfway down the street and turn around and look back at the sign that was swinging out in front and it read St. George and the Dragon and he went back and he knocked on the door again and he said well ma'am of St. George is not is in May I speak to him this time that I've discovered in my few years on earth that sometimes people have to ask second time to get through the Dragon inside of us, especially in the areas of their humanity. We don't like to forgive people you know we have a lot easier time forgiving big sins than we do little, little humanities Kamal right were pretty savage people in India live through the attack of a Bengal tiger and he told the story after it was over after the first rush that sent me sprawling the Tigerlily ears flat table swishing from side to side eyes glaring waiting.

My next move I ran he cut me off – for a tree. He struck me down each time I was torn more terribly. Yet the game lurched on and on to utter exhaustion and despair. I was bleeding at last be uncaring or hoping I played did his hot breath seared my neck's jaws clamped my arm as he dragged me into the brush and left me to cool. There is a there is a tiger in all of us. The reason the mean cat and the simple fact is we when we have those masks off get pretty brutal tonight.

I want you to make your list not a phony list, but the real list that only you know the people you have not forgiven make it in your mind and want somebody else to read your list may take a while but for God's sake make the list you see my desire in going through the life of David is not just to give you geography and genealogy. A lot of high-power historical scoop on his life and if you walk away with a notebook full of facts my desires to have you see David in your own shoes and vicariously to begin to emulate some of his godly qualities one of which is broad shoulders that most of us up for one of three different responses instead of forgiveness. I want to take note of these three because some of you are engaged in right now. No pity, no mercy, but you've gone gone through the motions of forgiveness. The first kind of common reaction instead of complete forgiveness is what I call conditional forgiveness.

I will forgive you. I will forgive you as soon as I will forgive you whenever you finish the sentence. If you come back and make things right. I'll forgive you if you own up to your part of it. Then I'll forgive you that's conditional forgiveness that says I'm waiting, waiting like a tiger swishing his tail you make your move and I'll determine whether it's time to back away are bite conditional forgiveness. The second kind of forgiveness.

This less-than-perfect is partial forgiveness which says I forgive you but and then you finish it. For example, but don't expect me to forget or I forgive you just get out of my life for I will forgive you. Until that happens again that is partial forgiveness. The one that is very common is the third and that's delete forgiveness forgive you just does give me some time Sunday sometime I'll follow throughout forgive you as read this afternoon. Someone wrote a rather simple manner.

Most of us would rather sit on the judgment seat and mercy seat is not the truth coming up with a list you think I'm kidding. I'm not part of the reason you don't find freedom in your life is you haven't dealt with you list of people you need to forgive absolutely totally not conditionally or partially or in a delayed fashion but totally nursery the alternative.

I got the stairstep downward in my mind.

It's sort of a downward plunge, you take when you don't forgive. First of all, there is an offense and that if there isn't forgiveness after the offense. There is resentment and if there isn't resentment.

Following that, if there isn't forgiveness. Following that resentment and there is hatred and then hatred leads to garage and finally grudges settles in revenge.

I'm just waiting my time and what I have my chance.

I'll get him it is. It is amazing how much of this goes on the family of Christians. Just amazing them level with you and tell you that years ago I couldn't preach this message because I hadn't come to terms with these truths since I have thank God, since he's help me with it. I can honestly say I do not know of an individual.

I have not forgiven.

That is a tremendous relief. I say that in no sense of pride.

I say that just as an honest fact, encourage some of you to know that it can happen to know of anyone that I have a grudge against that I feel resentment toward but the same heartbeats inside of a few beats inside of me tell you what I wrestle with this on a regular basis every week to come to terms with not letting that offense take one step down to resentment at the deal with it at the offense level or, gone are sometime those things just gonna roll off like water down the slide in your all over the bottom toward revenge before you even realize it now. David put a great guy. What a real believable person Chapter 16 of David's life is a low ebb since he's taken the throne. He has never been lower never. This could be compared to his time before he was on the throne when Saul was pursuing him and he was so depressed solo. David is right in the pits right in the bottom.

And there's nowhere else to go and what happened doing well.

He sin with Bathsheba and that set off a whole chain reaction. Nathan said all your wires will be taken advantage of in public that happen.

Your family will turn against sin that's happened. He lost his throne. His son came in revolt, and through a conspiracy overthrew his dad and now Absalom is raining as the King and David's on the run. He is at his lowest Arab and there's there's nowhere else to go to get any lower fees at the bottom.

I think it's at this time that he wrote these words from from this Psalm and I just read it to you. I waited patiently for the Lord and he inclined to me and heard my cry. He brought me up out of the pit of destruction out of the miry clay set my feet on a rock. He was in the pit and listen to this other statement for evils beyond number have surrounded me.

My iniquities have overtaken me so that I am not able to see they are more numerous than the hairs of my head, my heart this field felt like that. Maybe you do tonight in the bottom and the despairing moment guilt sort of crushing and on top of them in the pit of destruction verse five chapter 16 second Samuel begins to speak. Set up the context you can feel the Barb of this man shimmy. I will never forget shimmy. I after the study never when King David came to buy Marine beholder came out from there man of the family of the house of Saul, whose name was shimmy. I the son of Vera, he came out, cursing continually as he came and he threw stones at David and it all the servants of King David and all the people in all the mighty men were at his right hand and at his left and thus shimmy. I said when he cursed get out get out Umana bloodshed, you worthless fellow.

The Lord is returned upon you all the bloodshed of the house was sold, and whose place you have reined in the Lord is given the kingdom into the hand of your son Absalom, behold, you were taken in your own evil for you are a man of bloodshed, the living Bible reads get out of here, you murderer you scoundrel, he shouted back at David, the Lord is paying you back for murdering King Saul and his family. That was a lie. You stole his throne.

That was another lie. Now the Lord is give it to your son.

That's 1/3 lie. The Lord never gave the sun throne. The son took the throne at last. You will taste some of your own medicine. You murderer you feel the Tiger inside David, this is your this is your basic reprobate who makes it his business of kicking you while you're down ever had that happen, not a person this place. It hasn't had it happened you at the very ultimate lowest. Along comes a shimmy.

I blew the picture below the belt and sure enough, along comes someone else to give you the County Counsel David heard Sievers nine abaci keep that name and mine, abaci, the son of Zechariah said to the king, who should this did dog curse, my lord the king, let me go over now and cut off his head is rather direct counsel from from abaci you always have somebody say take that ON this I mean you got your rights stand up for yourself will walk all over your operation doormat would cut off his head.

Now before I go any further, let me add that shimmy I is a real first class think okay.

He has come at David at a hard moment. He has lied three times in the attack and he is way out of line. David is innocent, at least of these assaults.

David is a choice.

He can become offended or not. Verse 10 what a guy.

The king said what have I to do with you, both sons of zero via if he says that once in his lifetime. He says that half dozen times sons is there I were all built with a short fuse. Everyone was ready to fight at the first glimmer. They carried a chip on her shoulder, always ready to fight these one about a new with you sons there IV curses and if the Lord is told and cursed David, and who shall say, why have you done so. Verse 12 perhaps the Lord will look on my affliction and return good to be instead of his cursing. This day I can't believe it, but you can, but that is unbelievable. He's at the bottom level and along comes Jimmy I boot Sam and David says the Lord's in it, how in the world can you do it is good question is a matter of fact it's when you're able to do that and you'll know the joy of a clear conscience key.

I never got offended he never took it personally that I say something here for the sake of a few of you need to hear it. I would to God that some of you would develop a much thicker layer of skin. Some of you are so, so sensitive, so delicate at the slightest little pinprick you know YouTube out here in the hospital for three weeks recovering virtually soft heart and thick skin.

That's the answer I mean really think really rhinoceros type. Okay, really thick, so you get passed around and glanced around if you want to be used of God. Get that, skin whatever it takes. The people and get the job done nowadays are able to overlook all sorts of silly little comments people economy. You know, when you walk through thorns. You have to have on heavy boots you don't walk through thorns barefooted to deal with people you gotta be well shod your involved in ministry. Are you planning to be in the distant future or near future. Get that lesson learned. Get really and armor plate around you or your failure.

You will not make it now is not that you have a thickness toward goddess that you have a thickness toward these kind of reptiles that crawl out of the swamp and sort of community like the shimmy you mean a shimmy. I it's only a matter of time it coming on your case and you'll have the question of whether I want to be offended or whether Amalek ago to hang onto this Dale Galloway writes in his book you can win with love. The story of a Johnny Rockefeller manner built a great standard oil Empire.

He was a man who demanded high performance from his company's executives. One day one of the executives made a $2 million mistake. Believe it or not a right to million dollars, much less make the gotta mistake the news of the man's in the enormous error soon spread through all the executives during this entire day.

These men made themselves scarce were afraid to even go near Rockefeller's office for fear of his reaction towards this mistake but one brave executive decided he would go ahead and keep his appointment and going to see Mr. Rockefeller.

He tightened his belt walk in the door.

As the oil monarch was writing on a piece of paper looked up and abruptly said I guess you heard about the $2 million mistake.

Our friend made.

Yes, he said, expecting Rockefeller to explode. Then he said I would listing all the good qualities of our friend here on a sheet of paper not discover that in the past he has made us many more times than the amount he lost for us today by his one mistake his good points, far outweigh this one human error that I think we ought to forgive him. Don't you all would you love to have a boss like that doesn't negativity.

Gotta mistake. It takes just just in all the cuff comments and were sidelined. Why, because our focus is so horizontal are God's son distant deity that's sits around the theological heavenly's answering doctrinal questions, not meeting practical needs. So when something practical happens word were goners. Rather than focusing right away on the vertical and single. No Lord right now you take that advance giving give me a break. Bigger mind than that and he wants to live in that narrow world. I don't somebody to do that with your parents somebody to do that with kids you can dangle your kids the kids of Lord and they'll finally come back and they'll say you know I my bluing. I have no business doing such and such, the most gracious and mature responses. Perhaps the Lord will look on the affliction and return good cursing as we listen to today's message from Chuck Swindoll. Many of us might be thinking about relationships that need attention and there's much more teaching ahead on this topic, Chuck titled his message being big enough to forgive.

To learn more about this ministry, we invite you to visit us online at inside world.org inside for living is known around the world for helping people engage in the practical truth of God's word.

We model that on this daily program, but in addition, we provide a wide variety of resources to help you encounter the Bible on your own. For instance, every sermon Chuck presents on this program is complicated by online study notes.

This allows you to jot down your own thoughts into your computer or you can print out the document and share copies with your small group Bible study. We call this free resource searching the Scriptures and you can begin right now by going to Insight.org/studies earlier this year inside for living such a delegation from our ministry team to the continent of Africa during this journey inside for living collaborated with African church leaders to teach them how to search the Scriptures on their own.

It was another reminder that God's truth has no cultural boundary. It's a good time for us to say thank you to all those who financially support inside for living ministries because of the generosity of those who give were able to bring Chuck's teaching to your station every day plus a small fraction of your gift is all it takes to share insight for living beyond our borders as we minister in eight languages other than English. In fact, it's our long-term dream to make disciples of Jesus Christ in all 195 countries of the world.

We call this mission, vision, 195 you can help us realize the dream of vision 15 by getting a donation of any amount. If you prefer to give a gift today. Call us if you're listening in the United States, call 800-772-8888 or go online to insight.join us again when Chuck Swindoll continues his heartfelt message called being big enough to forgive Tuesday on insight for living. The preceding message being big enough to forget it was copyrighted in 1978, 1988, 1997 and 2009 and the sound recording was copyrighted in 2009 by Charles R. Swindoll. All rights are reserved worldwide. Duplication of copyrighted material for commercial use is strictly prohibited