A Funny Thing Happened At the Doctor's Office

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Hey dude, good to go to the giver, had trouble I love you ever had trouble holding your little weird tickly doctor's office. We have a lot of opportunities gave people the doctor's office last week we returned to Denver where Gracie had a consult with a new doctor. She not seen before. I've been back and forth with their office giving as much history as a kid helps the process, but I get there to paint a picture. The picture the picture is Gracie is in a wheelchair okay and she has her crutches cradled in her arm when she needs to walk.

She's wearing a skirt, and she has two very visible prostheses takes her legs don't have any skin covering so they are very robotic look she's born like that since the 90s and so the medical technician comes out into the waiting room calls us in. So I'm wheeling Gracie back. She's walking beside me with grace and she suggested we back into the room, makes a lot easier because those examination rooms are little bit small. Are you you you with me so far, you've you been there and she goes the computer and start filling out the questionnaire for the patient questionnaire and I'm not saying that she wasn't dialed into her job. Somebody else can save. I'm not. She didn't appear to be aggressively interested in her job in Gracie or anything else for that matter, and that she's filling out this form.

She asked this question. Do you have trouble walking it by first response was really she's in a wheelchair, holding crutches and she is to prosthetic legs. I want you to back the torque that went on between my brain and my mouth at that point Gracie on the other hand, was very gracious and she said yes.

Gracie has this ability to remain gracious in situations like that not one of my gifts. I gotta tell you, so she knew what I was thinking and she just got. I could see her just move her hand quietly just a quiet medial next question. Are you afraid of falling it up just like how to sleep and Gracie said, I'm not afraid of it. I just hate doing all right then the x-ray technician comes it and she's talking to Gracie to look over it she puts her hand on the prosthesis were that the sleeve on a prosthesis right at her knee.

She said that I kid you not. Does this come off you member billing of all the comedian. He and Jeff Foxworthy laid cablegram Ron White a lot of stuff together and he had this bit that he would people ask a stupid question. He would answer or something and say that because he is premise was stupid.

People unaware aside, this is of stupid people who read it every time some I would ask him something was just bizarrely stupid.

He would come up with a sarcastic answer and say here's your site. Here's so I felt like that of those moments was upper best stupid question that we all have butted that moment there was grace everywhere. It is a professional environment were sitting there and you should know that when you ask a woman if her prosthetic leg comes all that's a stupid question. I wanted to say no. We stapled it on. Here's your side or would be better know what he made. This is my real leg. Here's you said you lobbied it. I've of told people many times before. Her legs are artificial butter feeder real ears use. You know, I'm sorry I can't help myself, so that what I said you know I probably need to wait outside because it was all I could do to just restrained by self. You know sometimes the greatest accomplishment I'll have in a single day since the completion is to keep my mouth shut and moments like that do you ever struggle with that. There are so many things swirling around in my brain. I just wanted this.

You just know as I would be helpful and you have to kind of be gracious and you know there's there's an old saying that there the two best times to keep your mouth shut or when you're swimming and when you're angry but I would say there's 1/3 job is when people say something so clueless so stupid and you don't need to call them on you know that's a good time by being you. Remember what I told you about what I was at the hotel and the lady had given us the wrong room and I didn't have all the handicap facilities that I mentioned and I brought it to her attention as I was checking out one night and I had some Ramen soup.

There you member that and and I told her about it. I said look Yogi was the wrong room it up.

I got Ramen soup it. She said she was so since here take that soup on us is the least we could do. There is no leased or absolute, it's Robin soup.

Anything less than that is it about you know you you want to say something to people, but you can't you just is stuck to be helpful in Gracie.

She knows me after 36 years of marriage. She knows what my brain is doing and she's over there just like just just be quiet just just just go away just just go off to school for what and you know what, what would you say I beat him to sleep but would use it. She says do you have trouble walking. You gotta be legs. He got crutches and your heads, you know, and you will have trouble walking no idea what you say to that.

I grew up with four brothers and my sister Cumulus. She's the baby, and she's the worst of the lot. By the way when it comes this we all speak fluent sarcastic. I mean we got it down cold when you grow up in a large family like that bunch of boys particularly. Then my sister. She had no other frame of reference. She did have a sister. She had five older brothers and so she will blister you more than the rest of us combined. It is hilarious that Dan doesn't speak SAARC as my mother does that. Doesn't he just sits back and observe, but you know, I grew up in an environment when somebody said something stupid. There was a whole chorus of people that jumped in to point out how stupid it so I find myself out there in these environments where people will say these things and I'm like what it was supposed to do. Do you do you realize the stress that puts because the human could not want to pop up yet. I know the and I'll bet you that's part of our lives caregivers that I thought maybe you chuckle out of the much fixed struggling with that. Just so you know you're not alone were all in this together and it's okay for us to laugh about the six cousin funny that's part of having hope for the cure, which is that conviction we can live a calm or, healthier, and dare I say the more joyful life even while serving as a kid this Peter Rosenberger will be right. Do you know what PVA bag is Peter Rosenberger standing with hope, which is the present sponsor of hope for the caregiver. We do prosthetics for amputees over in West Africa we been working with Donna for years 2005.

This is Gracie's vision. After losing both of her legs and we help them buy a lot of material for the prosthetic clinics in exchange we get to share the gospel with individuals and be able to present the gospel, not only with the patients but their families in the community and even the nation. We've done national interviews with many of their public officials including the VP and the US ambassador to Ghana, but PVA bags polyvinyl alcohol bags are used in the lamination process to make the sockets that we bank the brand-new the custom for on-site and we purchase them in Donna right now. The route we need to get some more sleep makes more legs.

We also need resin were always buying resin because that's one of the critical items in these acrylic resin sockets that we make will recycle the prosthetic limbs. They come from all over the country to a prison run by core civic down in Arizona and inmates volunteer to disassemble the force we can recycle the knees defeat the pylons the screws adapters to clients all that Stuff. Some things we have to purchase PVA bags and resin are two of those items that need to be regular purchase which you help us out with it please. Standing with hope.com/giving. Standing with hope.com/giving. Be a part of giving the gift that keeps on walking steady with hope.com/giving thanks much.

You're here on family radio. I glad to have you with take a moment to go out to our Facebook join the I have a page hope page, but the group is something you join and we put stuff in there also other members post questions and ask for different things and you can wait on them or if you have a question. Whatever's on your heart and I'm going to probably sometime in the next couple weeks. Do a live Facebook event in that group that you we can talk we can.

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It is free and I hope you take advantage of that is well there so many different resources on putting out there. Please don't try to just white knuckle this and do this all by yourself that's a mistake that all too many of us have made over our journey is caregivers and I think that all of us would try to do that will certainly affirm that that is not the way to do lidless reach out for some help. The help is available and please take advantage of it. Hope the caregiver.calm while were on the subject of doctors and doctors offices and so forth. Like I talked about the last six with the years. You said. I also took advantage of last week's doctor visit with Gracie to remind myself of the 3P's of dealing with doctors. This is for us is caregivers. The 3P's of dealing with doctors you know what those are, you will have a lot of doctor visits as a caregiver.

I bet you do and give it time. If you don't put the 3-piece because it can be a bit stressful when you say the day it can be a bit challenging, and you feel a little bit intimidated under what I started this journey I thought that doctors were just below God and a lot of them reinforce that. I don't think that anymore of known to many of the well over 100+ doctors have treated Gracie in these years of college stopped counting at hundred numbing them talk about spent significant time with an some of them you're one of her surgeons that she started out with. He was a resident when she had a wreck and now I think he's retired so she put the entire career with this guy are pretty much most of it and so it's just it's been a lengthy journey what we've had a lot of physicians and some of them have been wonderful others not so much their human beings. After all, and you're going to run into those you could run those who are sincerely really want to do a good job then you run into those who are just phoning it in and then you run into those who are sincere, but they're not very good at what they do. That happens okay either way, this is the journey were on and so it helps us to be able to navigate this better we go into these offices and if you notice there clock me. They come in they have everybody talk to you first so that all they had to come in to do is you know he or she will give a couple minutes of time to you and say okay this this this this this okay.

We got in the next.

It's almost like they're on a conveyor belt in a mentality or rollerskate. This is the way healthcare is you don't have those long conversations with Dr. Sperry often. She got make the most of.

So I came up with a thing called the 3P's of dealing with Dr. how to make the most of this medical this in the number one is be professional. Okay, so what does that look like well first off, how you dressed when you go in there if you look like you just stepped out of the backyard working you know it, it sends a message respect the meeting specter self respect the professional environment you want put on a suit or anything numbing of done that before, but it would be helpful if you would in looking like he took the meeting seriously also be very much on time even if they are not an most the time they're not. But the one time you're late is the time they'll be prompt so that's just the way it is something I will make these rules. People look at you. By the way you dress people look at you. By the way, show up whether you show up on time so forth.

I mean, so be prompt in and all those things. Everything you would want people to treat you with is a professional and also write down what you go to talk about.

Don't just think you got it down, write it down okay but on your phone. Whatever you gotta do you have 3 to 5 issues that you want to hit boom boom boom boom Casey go through it. It's a business meeting. These are diagnosticians there clinicians. These are people that are used to looking at data and making decisions give them data. Don't make them go hunt for it. Okay, that is, that is one of the most challenging things you do because you're you're going to end up shortchanging yourself and your love what I'm saying this to us is caregivers because a lot of times were taking our love went to the doctor. Gracie was a doctor, a lot should always feel really well. She's tired she's in pain. She doesn't feel real well. She counseled me to be able to help her with the staff try to stay in my lane and not overtake the meeting of done that plenty of times. I know you have a hard time believing that but it's one of those things where you you've got to be prepared on this so it's it's a professional meeting treated as such. Going there, knowing that you want to address these issues and then go from there. Dress the part. Be on time addresses this is okay. That's the first would be professional now. Second, what is it seems like it's a no-brainer, but it's not. Be polite, but don't be subservient okay you have caregiver authority.

You know your love better than anybody else on the planet. Okay, I've been caring for Gracie since Reagan was president and since most of the doctors that treat her have been in junior high school or less and since a lot of the nurses the treater since before they were born. That's my reality a little, but years but that's my reality.

So I'm very polite that I've been doing this a very long time. I had a nurse one time until she got busted me and in front of a bunch of other people see what you need to trust us because you you called left message for this and you didn't then you got message over here to get and I looked at her and I stopped her in front of her, but acid I called no one call me back if I don't get a call back. I will keep calling until I do, because when there's a mess when things happen when she foster the crack on the guy that has to clean it up. Nobody else shows up to help me do that. So when I call.

I expect a call back and that's just the way it was, and everybody else got what okay because I was serious but I was very polite but I don't have the wherewithal.

I don't have the emotional bandwidth to put up with power plays and foolishness. But you don't either. So we've got to learn to assert ourselves that we don't to be disrespectful but we can assert ourselves in this and I know that some of you may feel very uncomfortable with that.

I certainly was when I started this journey I didn't know what to say. I don't know the science but I know her and and and if it would help you. I would spend some time reading the book of Proverbs Proverbs gives you a first of gives you kind of a crash course in God's MBA Masters of business administration, but it also helps you understand the nature of people of dealing with people. It might not be a bad idea for you to spend a little bit of time in Proverbs read one on the first of the month the second of Proverbs 2 of the second of the month so forth, and you will find it gives you that foundational understanding of how to interact with people because they're just people people people everywhere you go. So yes, they may have some initials after their name and they may have more training than you do. But that doesn't mean that they are exempt from the human condition. We can going to be polite, but we can be assert if we can set boundaries so be professional, be polite, but not subservient and then the last one is stay out of the pharmaceutical questions and conversations unless you are directly asked okay this is really important.

I have done this so poorly over the years and its cost. Gracie I'm very influential I'm very persuasive from what they tell me I'm pretty articulate and it's easier sometimes to deal with me because I can get right to the bottom of the issue.

I can say this I can do this or I can I can phrase things will but they needed here for Gracie not for me. Gracie is the one with the pain she's the one with the discomfort and the circumstances and they need to hear her and observe her articulated in her own voice even if she has a hard time doing. She feels just awful that day. She has a hard time doing that's okay. They still need to see her distress so they can evaluate what's going on with her. How well she's able to respond with certain medications, and others. Sometimes something will cause dry mouth, or sometimes things will cost you harder to perform your sentences or sluggishness or whatever it doesn't matter.

Medication has an effect on you.

You show me a pill with no side effects and I'll show you a pill with no effect. It the way it is and part of the observation process. Part of the appointment is for these physicians to observe and see if I am running my yap I rob her of the opportunity to be observed without me taking over hijacking the conversation so I have to sometimes bite my tongue and learned like the taste of blood. You know I is like when I was in that room with her last week. As I said the last block in this… Their prosthesis does this cabal feel it up at that point I have to wait outside and sometimes we just have to do the let the doctor talk about the prescriptions. Now it's okay to ask questions. It's okay to say in my observation in my experience, I've seen this Dr. I've observed this and I'm a little bit concerned about this. You know that kind of thing but be very careful with that because were not physicians. Unless you are a physician.

If you are God bless you go for it. But if you're not let's dial it down a little bit. Be prepared with questions, but also be prepared to hold your tongue so the three piece dealing with be professional and polite, but not subservient and try to stay out of the pharmaceutical conversations it will make your journey as a caregiver little bit more peaceful.

Okay this is hopefully caregiver got