This Caller's Moving Story Brought Me To Tears

Got a special guest on the phone. John. While I know that as I recall this I got a call from her and Shirley to you with this.

Shirley I love your story and I love what you Tosa wanted to go ahead and just share what you told me about your husband and your situation and just just take the take the floor for a few moments and just talk about this one for seven years longer than medical science and I would tell I'm very thankful for that.

Like that from the wrist did not is not what killed him. It was Mamma had that for over 40 years and until February 20 had a stroke. He could still walk which is amazing to be as old as he was with MS and be able and be able to walk and that is the it this last year was difficult because I'm now 72 and my muscles are deteriorating and when he couldn't help me. I couldn't help him. So the last three months we had that Paris hospice the night.

They were wonderful and I got to keep them at home. I really couldn't put them in a facility.

He couldn't even place the nurse that he couldn't I use the telephone that your your book.

I hope for the caregiver was really helpful in the most helpful thing was when you said, look at your hand, you have mail print or not God and that gave me a lot of encouragement facility put this book in your hands yeah yeah tell me about what happened. What you did with well as a friend at church that I know because she works in the prayer room window Smith and mailed me ahead of it mailed to me that she ordered and so I started reading a chapter every day docketing and started all over.

Not just Doing that and the day before he died. I had read the last chapter for however many times I had with the hope that God is so coordinated. When you told me that I was just really floored it you read this thing repeatedly and then you get to the last chapter for the umpteenth time he passed away and stepped into heaven he donated his body to Vanderbilt and when Knight picking out the house. Stave off even the rapture. It is so good to have hope so good when you do know what was his father was September 29 this year are you doing right now. What really has to face the last few days that, I'm doing okay with what your plans are Tuesdays through Christmas Day 12 a friend beside me in the church orchestra has invited me to dinner and I'm having a friend and her husband over for Christmas supper plate with you play the orchestra the flute. I had to retire from the orchestra with little now because you really astonishing to me that as my muscles deteriorating with age. That was an astonishing but the mouth also has muscles in a deteriorated not could maintain the timing on the flute. I couldn't stay in the right key self entirely different reasons. Well are you so you got to be alone on Christmas. No I'm not and not my stepson and his wife are coming next Saturday and were going to do our traditional Christmas.

What is something you would you like to do for Christmas. We played a lot of Christmas music and we had Christmas brunch with his children to maintain that we are yes yeah I even hung up his stocking this year and then I saw a movie where an old woman had hung up her husband.

Christmas stockings all thought well not the only one you know know you know it's okay yeah about what what about a favorite meal that you do like together Christmas to a favorite dish or dessert or something. It was so I think this gift and fruit salad that was our traditional family city biscuits and fruit salad, steak and biscuit with steak and biscuits that state biscuits yeah all think Tom could tell how good job did you hear all that. I'm sorry. I'm just really want state biscuits now are you going to have state biscuits and fruit salad. We are on January those things that are worth preserving Shirley do appreciate that you took the time to reach out with this note without what I wrote the book I threw a lot of things out with the publisher. Originally wanted a book of a lot of nice quotes and it had of kind of a platitude cut a coach when I really saw what they were looking for everything. The it is almost like reading a Hallmark card lesson I said no I'm not doing this. Here's what I'm going to do because I don't caregivers they don't need platitudes. They don't need syrupy. They don't need what other people they think, what's going on. They need somebody could speak directly to the heart and fluent caregiver exactly in and saw it out it I really set up to write to myself you know I was 22 years old, became caregiver by Scripture to memory was 22. She's already heard what I asked Mary an intro and I was just dumb as a box of rocks amino clueless it out. In order to cure somebody was hurt and no and so I thought what would I say that young man to say here's what's coming down the road and here here's what you need to be prepared for so and so what I what I totally what I would like to publish with that they really like to think they liked it a lot because that but but they did what they would've never played it out that way they really envision it being more just kind of inspirational quotes that I said no that we gotta give caregivers more than that if you have reaffirmed to be that we made the right call that we know we spoke to your heart of this and because I've said this that you feel free to disagree with me on this. I will hurt my feelings with. I think that you and I are in sync on this that I've said that it doesn't matter what you try to do for caregiver if you don't speak to their heart issue which is so squarely and so broken and so messed up and so so hurting that their duck will be able really process anything else you could talk to the heart.

You are right and the one that made people hate people, and then help her.

Well, I'm just deeply moved by that I don't know what to say 1, but when I put the book out there. My dad told me that I went print. The publisher took it would distribute nationally and so forth. They look to be said no it's out there, you have no idea the impact this is going to have you trust that the God and you've done the best you can and you put it out there in and what I heard your story with that and the fact that you read the last chapter for the umpteenth time that he died and that I thought wow that it that that's just too much. That's just too much and I had to have your the show just to talk about that and and also just to see how you're doing, because a lot of people were in that situation right now showing that there there there struggling at the holidays and and some of them have not been able to quite say goodbye simply because the love was still with them, but they're not with if you know, I looked over on okay. I get up in the middle of the night with no doubt not want to see if there and I want to say yeah you know when straight like crap.

I'm going to tell him.

Well, not unlike at first started writing it down, and that the things I wanted I would tell him if he were still here.

I'm glad you do that. Sorry. That just touch the thank you for sure that that that's a deeply personal thing that you just shared it and I think that listeners all over the country know that just heard you say that that really understood that they see that that is a powerful moment and thank you for writing about it. I hope that they'll be of a series of thoughts.

Maybe you could share with others, and in the way down the road here for you to do because I think you have brought such a a a healthy way of looking at this that that I just didn't expect today. I really didn't and I encounter silly people who were just all over the map of the struggling, and here you come this and yes your grieving and you grieve with great depth, but you're just dealing with such a remarkable way. Tell me about your what what is a Scripture that that you hang onto in times like this when you wouldn't really cut a hit. She what's Scripture that you feel that just anchors you back home one night and I did not know that we had a song, not 119 I'm sorry 139, 139, I was clinically depressed after we got married and he said in his recliner and held me like I was one of his children and read 139. To me, and that that has a lot of a lot of meaning to share some of that with us. Well, God knew if family were and are matters when and he knew what he had planned for and even going to late May 3 20 want to do for the rest of my life according to 19: family, Kayla had 21 more years if not rolling me around that long or longer that that everyone in my family thinks Atlanta 93. I met I'm testing I'm testing him, and that if the plan now this is the plan you really good churches.

The situation I think they look at. I'm an angry scrape once in nine and that friend that hike me to lunch or dinner or come over and help me organize a room then you are very supportive and so are my neighbors if you would really get just about a minute or so. But if you have one thing to say to pastors and church leaders and so forth about grieving widow's or widower's here at Christmas time, particularly when it's so fresh like yours is adjusted September.

What would you what would you want to say to the window and talk to her now allow her to talk talking and writing down help email a lot of family members all began going through my mind and I when you when you dump all that stuff out of your brain. It had helped it help me deal with it when I think somebody else can say oh, poor baby give me encouragement great words because I think a lot of times we are so quick to offer consolation, but not the silly offer listening in you. You require both and mostly just the presence of someone who is tuned into the fact that this is a very deep place. Agree five number one lady called in the show when her son passed away and it was a tough tough time and she said somebody traditional would even stop crying about it in a house.

I was so indignant at that question because I thought you know that's a stupid question.

You don't tell somebody you know I get over it with you when you blew somebody like that and it wouldn't stop crying. I thought that Gossett is it insensitive, stupid question that you all of creation groans. Like how were not programmed for losing people like well we're not and we have to we have to lean on each other and lean on him. More importantly, that I go back to what Scripture says all creation is groaning out because thinks things are just broken and you you groaned with your husband. Is he with you in this and then which ultimately probably I guess that's why Philip the letter is that right can't remember the fallen probably from God that would be horrible to remember that. Well I think so too will will will land on the about that. Okay listen, Shirley. We got it were to come appear to the breaker just a second, but you shared your heart with this is a very meaningful way. This is is the season of joy, but for so many is that there's a lot of difficult things and and you've helped us face those it a beautiful way and I think you really think you for coming on the show ensure your heart and I want you to have Merry Christmas. I'm working on where where where we could lift you up in prayer about that and also were there with you in spirit and heart. Okay, thank you for calling this is Peter Rosenberg.

This is hope for the caregiver. I got a special treat for the next segment with Gracie and I just removed and will put this out the litter on the podcast. This is such a great testimony. Hopefully caregiver.com you can see more. There go check it out and see how you can work towards being a healthy caregiver. Healthy caregivers make better caregivers will be right back struggle to trust when lousy things happen to you. I'm Gracie Rosenberger in 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident leading 80 surgeries in both legs and became I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me.

But over time the questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God and understanding along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish standing without more than a dozen years we been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis. We purchased ship equipment and supplies and with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison.

We also recycle parts from donated lambs.

All of this is to point others to Christ. The source of my help and strength, please visit standing without.com to learn more and participate in lifting others that standing without.com. I'm Gracie.

I am standing without