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Caller feels defeated over her daughter with a drug addiction.

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger
The Cross Radio
December 29, 2018 11:56 am

Caller feels defeated over her daughter with a drug addiction.

Hope for the Caregiver / Peter Rosenberger

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December 29, 2018 11:56 am

Tracie called the show to express her broken heart over her daughter with a drug addiction. 

Addiction is a chronic disease.  Where there is a chronic disease, there's a caregiver.  On this call, I asked Tracie to consider a 12- step recovery program for family members of addicts and alcoholics.  She referenced attending one years ago if saving her father from alcoholism and that it failed ...so she didn't pursue it with her daughter.

Helping redirect Tracie, I shared with her, ""The purpose of this [recovery program for family members] is not to save her daughter from bad choices ...it's to save HER from bad choices." 

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Peter Rosenberger is the host of the weekly syndicated radio program for family caregivers. He has served as a caregiver for his wife Gracie, who lives with severe disabilities, for more than 30 years. The author of four books, including “Hope for the Caregiver.” Peter and Gracie live in Nashville, where he also serves as the president and co-founder of Standing With Hope. Follow Peter on Twitter: @Hope4caregiver or visit: www.hopeforcaregiver.com

 

 

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I work but show for caregivers, but was hosted by Kitty Roy B.

Rosenberg, strong and healthy as you take care of someone who is not will be part of the show. 888-589-8840 888-589-8840 welcome, all you who are listening across American family radio network is one of those you streaming around the world and those of you who will later podcast show and we were thrilled to have you a part of the show. This groundbreaking show. The largest radio platform in the world for the family caregiver and why shouldn't the church, why shouldn't believers be out in front of this issue. I got the other caregiver longtime well over 30 years and if I didn't have the gospel spoken with clarity into my situation. I would make it world.

This the world can't go there with me all they can offer our surface. He thinks some of them have value would not take value rectified, but to strengthen the spirit to keep you in this for the long haul and we can stay in our hands for a couple months we do okay with a couple years would you start on the several decades you could have something more substantive and that's the gospel we got understand it is caregiver.

So I've learned to learn to speak into that of the family caregiver with the with the clarity of the gospel to the family caregiver. I speak fluent caregiver but you know what it's our Savior's native tongue. You see, he's the ultimate caregiver of a wounded bride and that's us. My bride is wounded because of a car wreck his bride is wounded because of sin, and that's where were that's our starting point. Understand that we have a Savior who really truly gets this of what you're going through from the cross. He took care of his mother, but from the cross.

He took care of his Wonder Bread and that is incredibly strengthening and comforting to me.

Let's go quickly to the phones will talk about the little bit more but I want to get to Tracy in Georgia. Tracy good morning, how are you feeling, certainly how you feel and defeated daughter. When several gradually she got it down right now. She still got to go to court for a major charge that never happened. Had she been straight. Our children aren't winter there being right by their psychically Lyme combination Outlook NT on the way home on the nurse around the primary caregiver for my family income and to interact in a hotel take winter with her 890 section of the highway. She kicked exhausted every opportunity and she doesn't need a life updater during well I think I can speak for pretty much everybody listening to this show this morning that week we hear the defeat in your heart you didn't get here overnight and you're not going to get through this overnight, but here's a couple steps that that I'd like you to consider. You may Artie have a listless talk about it together. Okay. All right. What are you doing for you as a recovery program you know there. 12 step recovery programs out there for family members of addicts and alcoholics.

Are you are you looking into any of those for you but what oh have you considered those alcoholic right to go to Al-Anon growing at Canton as a young adult when I was trying to fight him on bad choices like a different, how did I remember going.

The purpose of these things is not to save them from bad choices. The purpose of this is to save you from bad choices and that's why that's why I recommend this highly you're not going there to save your daughter you not going there to save your father, you found that out, doesn't work. You can't save them, they they they have a Savior you're not that Savior that I want to do some formula.

Just take a moment Tracy just looked at your hands.

Do you see nail prints if not then you know what you're not her Savior. Your mother and your lover in this is painful, but she is afflicted with the disease.

The disease of addiction is not something that you can fight it is not something that you can cure. It is not something that you can change only she can and she has to reach the point where it is no longer feasible for her to live without going into some kind recovery program and working. In the discussion. That's not going to have sorry according about it.if you don't, you don't have to 40 more rehab that is not your choice.

You've done everything she has exhausted all of her resources that she has access to from you, but that doesn't mean she can't get into some kind of situation. Here's the here's the reality of alcoholics and addicts there either go to sober up and cleaned up or they're going to get locked up or they're going to get covered up. That's the reality. But there is a difference it but the issue here at play Tracy is you because this is also affecting you and even if she got clean today. It would take you a lifetime to undo the damage of what this disease is done to you, even if she wasn't using right now and she walked in his mama been delivered of this, it will take you a lifetime to deal with the consequences of what this disease and her father's alcoholism has done to you. So the starting point this morning.

Right now, today is for you to redirect your eyes on what needs to happen to help you avoid poor choices of throwing money at a situation that you cannot purchase of throwing your physical body and your heart in your spirit is something that you cannot change. She has a Savior you're not that Savior you cannot fix this, but you can't stop yourself from going off the same cliff but it's going to involve you doing a little bit of extra work but smart work. Not bad work and is not something this could overwhelm you. It's something that's going to redirect you to a place of safety and is going be something that you can start breathing yourself with is going to be painful and is going be hard but you not to be alone because you go to participate in a group of people who were doing the same thing and eager to draw strength from each other. Are you in a good church situation before I went home that night program. Going to church regular and I did feel much more key and I need to get back in church. Does your pastor understand your circumstances I could talk. Let's start with the chart will let's start first call to make your coming home from work.

Are you going to work I came home from work right so you just you work third shift work 12 hours. Okay, let's do this. Let's first off, just take a nap about that.

Just go to bed.

It's so neat and just go go rest because you you sound exhausted. You just came off a 12 hour shift your exhausted you got the weight of the world on your heart and on your head and you try to take care of other patients as well and be the breadwinner and your family. So let let's just turn turn it off and just go to. All right then when you wake up and you refreshed which do two things for me okay would you make a phone call to your pastor set up a time just to talk with you pastor somebody that you feel like you're just not that somebody fresh out of seminary or just brand-new to the pulpit on a you need somebody's a little more seasoned okay there and if they start hammering on you that you just gotta have more faith that I want you to call me back. It will go fudge another pastor because you heard the opening song that Jim played out and at the headquarters in Mississippi. Just give me Jesus. Okay Jesus at Jesus. You can have have faith without Christ given the faith in the first place. You know, and so you just come to him all you are weary and brokenhearted and he will give you rest and hit all you are weary and heavy laden nothingness of Scripture, but he came to buy that the women heal the brokenhearted belt which one of us on this call right now between you and me, which one of the sales weary and heavy laden, all right. Well guess what the Lord does have nail prints in his hands is inviting you to come to him.

You do not have to squeeze your ass real hard and pray real real real fancy to see Jesus help me all your to do she's come that will go to start with this, but with it's it's it's that you can make the call to the to the pastor. I don't phone sometimes feel like it's 100 pounds, but you can make the call okay we can do that. Would you promise to do that, okay. In the second thing is I want you to find a local recovery group some type of 12 step group for family members of alcoholics are addicts that is close to you and I want you to go I want you to sit that you don't have to say anything you want to do anything just show up and sit in a group of people who are wrestling with the same thing but I have a path to deal with that.

You cannot change her daughter's behavior. You cannot fight addiction, you cannot do this, you are not equipped to do this what you can do is change yours. What you can do is rescue you.

It's called recovery for a reason and that your recovery that were right now focused on she about setting up essays on the Scott heart.

Tracy is go to several heart but don't take it heart is cell heart. She may not make it, but you have to okay that's hard that's hard but it's not it's not it's not a bludgeon about hitting you with this am not trying to hurt you with that of just trying to help you understand truth in this, she may not make but you have to, honey, you have to okay. We got to go to break you can get what you keep listening and I want you to call any time you want Tracy okay Tracy proud of you. I'm proud of.

Okay, I will go to talk more about this is Peter Rosenberger. This is hope for the caregiver will be right back and have you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you. I'm gracing Rosenberger in 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident leading 80 surgeries in both legs and became it. I questioned why God allowed something so brittle to happen to me. But over time, my questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God that understanding along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish standing without more than a dozen years we been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis. We purchased equipment and supplies and with the help of inmates in a Tennessee prison. We also recycle parts from donated lambs all is to point others to Christ source of my help and strength, please visit standing without.com to learn more and participate in lifting others that standing without.com. I'm Gracie. I am standing without