Struggling Moms Serving as Caregivers.

And hope for the caregiver on American family radio. This is the nations number one show for the family caregiver. I am Peter Rosenberger bring you more than three decades of experience to help you stay strong and healthy as you take care of someone who is not, and we are very glad that you're with us if you want to be a part of the show date 589-8840 888-589-8840. Now let me just lay this out this is a show for family caregivers for those individuals who are caring for a loved one who is chronically impaired on some level that it doesn't matter what the impairment is if it's a chronic impairment. It could be Alzheimer's.

It could be alcoholism, it could be autism and other some other form of addiction. It could be Parkinson's. Chronic pain cerebral palsy, MS cancer, whatever some form of chronic impairment that is hurting somebody that you love and you're putting yourself between that person and even worse disaster.

That's what this shows for the lifeboats call in and they want to talk about this or that there's 167 other hours in the week to talk about other issues.

This is the one hour the caregivers get okay one hour. That's all were asking for for caregivers and and this is a show exclusively for you. There is no other show like this in the country and were going out across the entire network here. American family radio to reach those who are isolated, who are struggling who are feeling discouraged and and and despairing in all of the above whatever you're feeling as a caregiver.

You're why we do the show and we want to help back you away from the cliff a bit so that you can get to a place of safety. Since, unlike somewhere you are right now they feel that kind of despair or frustration over bone tired weariness. This is the show for you. 888-589-8840. We try to spend as much time with you when you call educates adult weight to the very end of the show to start call again because then it would have to squeeze everything together right, I'm Peter Rosenberger. Of those, you don't know me of a caregiver for 33 years now through a medical nightmare for a wife that is dealt with the. The aftermath of a horrific car] 8380+ surgeries that I can count another hundred 50 smaller procedures that I can count 8900 doctors thought Those they can come and go. 12 different hospitals seven different insurance companies will over $10 million in medical bills.

Both of her legs amputated and potato below the knee lives with intractable pain is not legal weight hasn't gone away since Reagan's first term, one resident told her prostitute is the guy that makes her legs many years later that they stopped counting at 200 breaks, so you're looking at a significant medical trauma and it has a lifetime impact on every relationship she has added meter to a couple years after Rick. She started like she don't about 20 surgeries. When a matter beautiful beautiful glutton. Take a look@hopeforthecaregiver.com you can. Don't take my word for go take a look beautiful unbelievable singer. You probably hear some of her music throughout the show today, but her body is broken and when you're in chronic pain affects every relationship you have relationship with God yourself spouse's children, family, friends, coworkers, everything and show focuses on those relationships of people in orbit around somebody who is hurting who is chronically impaired who is broken with some type of affliction don't have to be chronic pain. If someone has dementia it's can affect every relationship they have. How do you help those folks. What does it look like to help a family caregiver. That's what we talked about on the show and I will start off of the Scripture this morning to get into a topic there's probably going to go from preaching to Midland with@Ephesians 431 let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice rates are about resentment today. That's a hard issue for a lot of caregivers it is for me and you. You want to deliciously entertain resentful thoughts because it makes you feel strong and powerful.

And if you notice, Jesus never said blessed are the strong and powerful who resent for they shall never said that instead it's you us are the meek part of the meek. When you get family members don't want to put the shoulder to the wheel with his it's hard to feel these things. And yet, resentment is something that cripples us so much and and I'm a pianist limply the piano longer been a caregiver in place. Those five major music studied piano all through college and still played a lot and you know, I've noticed that I cannot play a piano with clinched fist in order for beautiful music to come out of my hands at the piano. I have to open them up. You know you can't push a wheelchair with clinched fist cut sometimes not with them and it is take it out to you secluded to try it, you can't do it. My goal for us, myself and for you as a fellow caregiver, is it one day when we do stand at a grave in our goal is to be able be the one standing there. I can't guarantee that I'll outlive my wife and I want to live like a king that taken good care of myself. Being a good steward of me physically, physically, professionally, emotionally, all those things.

But when we do stand at that grave that were not standing there with clinched fist and ourselves and our loved one that family and friends who we did for like helped as much as they could've should've or not that we can live peacefully with this this Paul says in Ephesians, Marie, that will more time that all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor like that were clever and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. We can't live what we hold onto that stuff.

It'll kill us now. Don't don't bang on yourself today just don't don't beat yourself up today. If you're feeling those things were all going to feel it. That's why Paul puts it in there because he knows it.

That's what we do. We don't put it away from us we hang onto it.

But we have to remind ourselves to do it. We have to have people around us. That'll help remind us to do it so that we are not isolated and and running back to those things because we will will pick it back up.

So again I have people around us to remind us to put it back down. Put it away from us and and when I started writing for fellow caregiver. So I started speaking to this issue and then will we get we get on the air, and so forth.

You know I I wanted to address the things for caregiver that will deal with what's in their heart you know what we we offer this if you had a caregiver for any length of come you always hear somebody say you take care yourself and it almost, platitudes that really mean nothing to us what we do here on this show is we born into the caregivers heart that is just sometimes a train wreck and help you get to see you slow to catch a breath taken me if you have them start living a healthier life. Caregivers make better cared that we got go to break eight 885-8988 numbers 880-589-8040. That's your lifeline to a lifetime of experience will talk you just witnessed Peter Rosenberger.

This is helpful to caregiver about caregivers hosted by caregiver. This is hope for the American family radio. We are so very glad that you're with us if you will be a part of the show. 888-589-8840 888-589-8840. Also, just a little bit of a note, I have a new commentary out on American family Association's blog this stand you can go out AFA.net just click on the stand works is the stand right at the top there and it's is called the lost office of pastor lost office of pastor and I think you'll like this. This commentary talks about you all pastors are preachers of some kind, but not all preachers are pastors in my pet. My father is a pastor for 60 years and it's I know how the job is done and I watched them do it and it's it's a different type of function, and it's one that sweet.

We desperately need down the ditch.

I think you like the article to take a look@itandafa.netafa.net/the stand or you just click right there at the front page there's is the status of the lost office of pastor I the verse today that were dealing with it. We just want to keep him in the statement.

Ephesians 431 let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Basically, put down the resentment okay and don't think for one moment that I got a handle on this. I just tell you that's the path to safety.

I have to be reminded of this just as much as everyone else. Okay were all in this together. But if we don't reinforce this with each other.

We live in the isolation that cripples us his caregivers were going to lose her way were to get hurt and hurt others. So this is our time there hundred 68 hours in a week.

From what I understand, and one hour is dedicated nationally to the family caregiver and this is our time to come together and build each other up and strengthen each other for the journey okay because we don't do it. Were going to get hurt. Let's go to go to Vera in Mississippi. Vera good morning how you feeling when you know I'm just precious. Thank you for asking. Tell me what's going on with you. My daughter here want every year and nine and part of living like migraine all debilitating and not try to be all and there are all the time. You know how we do it in whatever think about what you do well together that it is heartening sometimes when I think it might not care for. Got all her friends, the Lupinacci degree not get the job because the work you know and I get higher and higher legal.

I know you get tired and it's hard what how old is she and you been to your doctors this. Do the doctors know that she's cranking pretty hard on the sleeping pills don't know that I fell a couple times tonight with David Cochran, you don't need to be doing at anything out about with up at night because she couldn't wait to run amok. One thing rather she live with you yet. I know you are you married Mary okay so you and your husband. Things got happening in living with someone with chronic pain is is just it's got off many just is. There's no other way to describe it.

I get it I get the journey and I is she seeing about what type of doctor she seen in every right does she have a psychiatrist involved in this at all. What would you would you at the neurologist is a good place to be because that's what they deal with you and sorry that they're not able to better function that regards. But it may be worth your while to explore psychiatrist with her and on on a couple levels because there may be some some aggravating circumstances going on it in the psychiatric world with her and I may and psychiatrist are pretty good for with medications that's neato that that they understand pharmacology pretty well and that may be a good start for you but what for for her.

But what about you what are you doing to try to help detach yourself from this and keep your own sanity and rolled and that make you angry. Work I get it right there and night.

I'm hurting honey.

We don't have any more pain were listed listed just a couple things. One is diet does play a role in this season. If she's doing those kinds of things you're not responsible for that stuff.

Okay the migraines you get don't have the control over but but also her her bad choices of what she's putting in her body and if she's texting you in the middle the night. You might want to turn your phone off because setting boundaries with her is going to be a real challenge. I'm thinking and and she's got she's gotten pretty used to having somebody at her beck and call.

Do everything for her and you know that's the that I get that but she stuck it up. She's not necessarily be able to get out of this but she's gotta learn how to live better with it. I live with somebody in chronic pain who's never known a day without it. Since 1983 and and and this and it's obscene. The MRIs I've seen x-rays and I'm smart enough to know what they mean and her body is just broken, and Gracie learned a long time ago that she's nothing to be able to get out of this barring something from Jesus that were not a unit we're not seeing and and so she's gotta learn to live with it in a healthy manner, but so do and so do you. Vera and you're going to have to take your hands off of some of this and let it be what it's going to be and you you she's 31 years old and other than migraines and pain. She still adult and she's gonna have to deal with life as an adult because if something happens to you who see the text of the middle the night. I don't know that that's a good question is, and if you stroke out because of the stress of this who she going to be, you know, stealing cookies from soap part of this is a medical problem. Part of this is a behavior problem and it's hard to know which one is which is and that's why it's a health healthy thing for you to back away from this so that you're not try to sit there and wrap your hands around the entire thing and figure this out because you don't.

There, correct me if I'm wrong, but did you go to medical school will then why don't you let her work this out with her doctors because you didn't I go to medical school and I had to learn how to get away from these things and I had to learn to back away and let it be what it's going to be and sometimes Vera you have to bite your tongue and learn to like the taste of blood in you have to you have to turn your head and let hot tears run down your face but you have to turn your head to do it and she's going to have to she's going to have to make some some tough choices and take control of her own life because of something happens to you, Vera.

What's her option and and sometimes it would with us as caregivers that I'm speaking from experience here very Vera.

Okay, I'm not in any way beating on your shaming on you. Anything I'm still new. My own experience, sometimes as caregivers. I know I have.

It's very easy to cross that line to become an enabler and bent been there done that and I got a T-shirt that says you know and and it's a hard thing and it's because you get you your your your almost blinded with this desire to recklessly hurl yourself at someone because they're floundering and it may be okay for her to flounder on her own without you running to the rescue. Every turn your phone off of the that night set boundaries.

She's not to like it.

By the way, did you go to be able to see the difference because you can see some blowback when she doesn't have which he doesn't ring the bell and you come running to see some blowback and she's close to grinding and blaming you and everything else and you have to read bistro at that point but but you have to understand she's going to have to to make it or fail on her own merits that you could pointer to the good quality medical care and you could try this thing. That's why think a psychiatrist may be an appropriate step for her license middle health counselor of some kind, but preferably at a psychiatrist for her because I think she's gonna need some MD treatment, but in your case. I also think you can benefit greatly from a license middle health care professional and not just not just somebody is a life coach or even a pastor at this point, but somebody who's a license middle health professional.

Keep the show. We gotta take a break. Keep listening. This is the show for you Vera okay and I want you to call me anytime you want.

I hear you blessed me this morning. Thank you so much. This is hopefully, this is Peter Rosenberger. This is the nation's number one show for the family caregiver will be right you ever struggled to trust God when lousy things happen to you. I'm Gracie Rosenberger in 1983 I experienced a horrific car accident leading 80 surgeries in both legs and became I questioned why God allowed something so brutal to happen to me. But over time I questions changed and I discovered courage to trust God that understanding along with an appreciation for quality prosthetic limbs led me to establish standing with help more than a dozen years we been working with the government of Ghana and West Africa, equipping and training local workers to build and maintain quality prosthetic limbs for their own people on a regular basis.

We purchased ship equipment and supplies and with the help and inmates in the Tennessee prison. We also recycle parts from donated lambs. All of this is to point others to Christ. The source of my help and strength, please visit standing with help.com to learn more and participate in lifting others that standing without.com. I'm Gracie.

I am staining with help like this is health care on American family radio.

We are so glad with us at 888-589-8840 888-589-8840. This is the show for those of you who were standing between somebody with a chronic impairment and even worse disaster. This is your time. This is your show. There's 167 other hours in the week that we could talk about politics and all other things. But this is for caregivers. And aren't you glad that there's a there's a Christian perspective, being dealt with this thing on a nationwide level.

The social like this nationally, 65 million people are dealing with this issue and yet there's only one national show for family caregivers. This is it and where determine the organist speak life into the heartaches that so many are just dealing with everyday like you just heard with Vera Morgan to do everything we can to help strengthen that caregiver to back them away from that cliff so that they can live a calmer, healthier, and dare I say the more joyful life. I let's go to Janine and Tennessee Janine good morning how you feel like you are. So that's all we that's all we do have Janine and you know we we tend to live in the wreckage of our future or the regrets of our past or whatever but but Jesus said, you know what we can live today. Today is sufficient for itself and that's all we have an and I hurt with you on this and I'm glad these things have been a source of comfort to you and strength to you what you got going on today where Janine week about having a Janine day do that tomorrow. It is that I know that in the end, and we all hurt with you on this IT what what would you have a Janine, our car about an hour for you today, Janine, and if it if you know what go back and listen to my CDS it for you okay and that if you cry you cry. It's okay to cry but I'm hoping that we as caregivers will will learn to better cry healthy tears and not tears of rage and despair because after the healthy tears flow. Then we could actually have a little bit laughter.

You know, weeping endure for the night. But what comes in the morning. Janine finished the Scripture does in this is this is that time of weeping right now you know what's coming.

But don't live out of that place. What's coming with today is what's coming is not here yet you live today and just find some places that you can just sit and just be still and and reflect on Janine and the beauty of life that surrounds you in the moment and these are not easy things to do. This is how we do it together set it on the need you to say the same thing back to me. This is how we do and at work today you enjoy your job and I love you go to a sense of what you do something as you.

For everybody that you make look beautiful today understand that they're borrowing a little bit of your beauty okay here be there beauty tomorrow for Mother's Day and everything else all these women that you take care of and then whoever they're going to look great, but they're borrowing your beauty, because you're doing this as as a way of just expressing what's in your heart.

I want you to just, rejoicing that with every hit. I hear you touch. Bless them pray over him and watch what God doesn't need a love that you that is a great word and I want you to just enjoy the day as you do this throughout the day. Every time you feel the need to just tense up a little bit just realize that you are you are pushing beauty out there people that tomorrow will will be feeling better about themselves because they saw you today, you're actually making a difference in so many people's lives and I hope that'll fill your heart with joy, knowing that you know what all this pain that you're dealing with isn't this it does have purpose that God is weaving something any he's excavating your heart to be even bigger than it already is that you can film be filled with more of his heart and you're touching people you don't. You never know who's going to sit your chair sometime what they're going through because you understand what it's like to weep and to trust God in dark places you're able to impart that the people and that means something.

Okay, that really means something in which you keep that in mind that that that is that is not just your job. That is also a ministry that you're doing this right now we don't learn it in my years. Janine of learn to speak fluent, but it's our Savior's native tongue, and he really nothing to say and he he he does, he just knows what to say and so listen to his voice and he will speak to you in ways that you don't really expect sometimes that I've learned and I'm just I'm just proud of you Janine a really just great.

I'm grateful that I get to know you a little bit and I know that her audience is listening in and in their drawing encouragement from you to because you're not bitter you not over there just gripping the steering wheel of screaming and yelling and hollering on but I'm sure I don't I've done that about life and I'm sure moments, but you know what your your work through all this and making peace and yes you do. Anybody with any kind of longevity and this understands that and and you're doing it and just you know understand that today would you go to work get off a lot of people to be thinking about you while you're doing this, you know, and I want to ask Rosie listing right mail across the country. There are thousands and thousands and thousands of people listing and as you go to the day. I want you to remember that this mother, this is Mother's Day in this mother is taking care of her son who is dying she knows he's dying. It's been a long brutal journey and I guess he just lift her up to what and in it as God recalls her to your mind throughout the day. Just continue to pray for her.

Throughout this time Lord loves a pray mama Lord loves a praying mom and this is a praying mama and this is a woman who is bearing some difficult things and I want you to tell what you just keep keep her in your hearts and prayers today and Janine I want you to know that with that. I'm just grateful for you and you call in your calling anytime you want. Okay, I should say honey on there but I'm from South Carolina kids. It's okay great note that getting him uncomfortable me that really good and I'm so grateful grateful I share that gratitude with you and I want you to know that you could have two really good days to really take on Jillian every little thing every morning, not trying hard Jillian every corner of your life. Therefore when things are hard lately. How dumb can elaborate average only count he said he saw the Gracie say yes it is out of the website and hope the Caradoc edits. You must believe in spring is beautiful song and it is a beautiful song and it's springtime to you into the seated springtime to see the best time to see. I think a springtime. Janine got a thank you God bless you and we got to go to break. We got more to go here. Thank you.

Do you go behave yourself at work today. Okay, you're quite welcome. This is helpful to caregiver. This is the nation's number one show for the family caregiver.

Glad you with 888-589-8840 888-589-8840 Street Rosenberger never helped somebody walk for the first time I've had that privilege many times through our organization. Standing with hope when my wife Gracie gave up both of her legs follow this horrible Rick that she had as a teenager and she try to save them for years and if it just wouldn't work out. And finally she relinquished him and thought wow this is that I'm not happy legs anymore.

What can God do with that and then she had this vision for using prosthetic limbs as a means of sharing the gospel to put legs on her fellow amputees and that's what we been doing now since 2005 was standing with hope. We work in the West African country of Ghana and you can be a part of that through supplies through supporting team members through supporting the work that were doing over there. You could designate a limb.

There's all kinds of ways that you can be a part of giving the gift that keeps on walking and standing with hope.com would you take a moment ago understanding with hope.com and see how you can give they go walking and leaping and praising God.

You could be a part of that@standingwithhope.com click back to the show for caregivers about caregivers hosted by carrier. This is hope for the caregiver on American family radio were glad that you're with this 888-589-8840 Annalisa and Arkansas will go real quick thank you for holding so long. Elyse appreciated how you feel and I'm okay, that way hello [backup that okay doesn't sound very okay.

Are you sure your I have chronic migraines off and helping to help there with her daughter on it is very hard and that you're actually right. She got a mental health professional because migraines are associated with mental illness, especially depressive disorder or bipolar and if you sometimes I got I got an email from the break I got an email from the lady said she had it because of the tickborne event and they treated with antibiotics so I think that's it's cut all over the map, sometimes of what causes and sinks right up and encouraging got a friend about who had that right you got a headache now. It's not a headache. It had pain and you lie there for hours in such pain that even from time pain medication doesn't even taught and so you go to a deep dark place and now that they've reduced our pain meds for the people that really need a prediction for everyone. I understand when her daughter said if this is living there is no quality of life and I understand why she saying that and so it takes a strong drive to say, you know, but I know I want to live it out and people site, pray and I pray that sometimes it's just that's just what it is, as it was for Paul.

She does need to get her daughter is good for mental health trader as the daughter in the family.

She's become another child in the family can living with her parents and her parents are not thinking that probably treated that way and she's acting that way if you get the disability check she should contribute to the hospital for mother. That's right, you striking to me sitting felt she could take over her medication now and then again she could talk to the mental health person also at the quilt agreement that a mental health counselor. Preferably, MD, it needs to be involved in this.

That's a good word Annalisa and thank you for your migraines by the very chronic 15 or more a month and off they have new medicine outfits like over $500 a month my check for 71 that will cover that maybe that that you know her husband can. I don't know that I just live with it and not I can't tell you on a holiday thought Mr. birthday and the people that that and I live alone I love you, but they go on with their lives because there's nothing they can do for you and so it's just something that you link with and you and and I've had at 234 962 so that there is she I'm so very glad that that she has her parents to help her but they won't always be there so should you not need. She'll need to learn as you set your adjuster alive or to get support system or her parents.

You know she's going to have to cart she's got have to carve out a life she's got have to call that a life aside from her parents otherwise when they died. So you know everybody's going to that point, but I get it. Elyse I care about you know this could affect this book has it, it will affect their health.

Yeah, yeah, and understanding a lot of people. I think it's just a headache. They don't understand how debilitating it is an endpoint at a deep dark place and it takes when you just lying there and you can't move and you can't do anything. It's just bad spot and that it's just it's just on and I don't how to when I look into your chakras. I listen to AFR all the time you are today, practically you now and I think that what about the people that don't have caregiver and have to deal with. You know their own conditions like I do and so that's why listen to you and you did get help and you do get good advice. Are you trying to directly option for the people in and in some and bless you bless them for taking care of their family members and bless you for caring enough to get thank you very much Annalisa you have a sense of said real estate, take a quick call here will just gotta go down the list.

Thank you for calling. Thank you for listening. I do appreciate very much. I let's go to Debbie and Debbie in Ohio. Debbie good morning how you feeling good morning, I felt really bad right now and send it to them.

So what's going on with unfortunately we got have to compress this into little bit of the time slot here so get right to the guts of the what's going on with sure how I am a middle-aged woman with two to let out children with disabilities that I'm a caregiver for not by choice but my husband decided for us for a non-divorce a few years ago. I think I'm still grieving that I'm grieving the fact that I have the blessing of taking care of my two adult children with autism and I was a contributing caregiver to my elderly parents.

The last several 10 years or so and my dad passed away a month ago and now I just I'm I'm in need of full-time employment that I'm not able to do that because of full-time caregiving for at least one of my sons and I'm just really spent. I don't know where to turn. Right now it's has been contributed all contribute financially through through the spousal support is been very reliable with regard to that, but I might say in the last year or maybe our children have an maybe 10 nights with him in the last year, he he traveled for work a lot in Kelly's out of town a lot and pretty much on a Saturday, he'll come and pick them up at 8 o'clock in the morning and bring him back at 4 o'clock in the in the evening so that happens more often than not, but that's pretty much at this point, elderly, and the line is 20 just turned 25 and the other 124 sorrow spectrum or the incapable of functioning in any type of self-care role of anything or what they are able to feed themselves. They themselves get dressed. That pretty much at the wanted higher functioning. He's able to work part time is not he doesn't drive, but we have transportation services set up now correct County Board of developmental disabilities to get him to and from where he needs to go, but he is not able to live independently and then the other one is more more impaired. He spent part of the day Monday through Friday at a day program. He's not able to be at home by himself at all and that he had faith, but I can feed himself and an interest in South felt that helpful but but he he he is able to help with housework or anything like that with housework that yes yes they fight. They both know how to run the washing machine and the dryer and they know how to love the one, at least know how to boil hotdogs with. He once hot dog. Forget about problems that make next steps yes yes they do know how to make the fat are bad and they do that but vacuuming don't. They're both really hypersensitive with their hearing. So they don't. They can't may have difficulty tolerating the loud sound of a vacuum cleaner.

The one has an extreme fear of of you know claims that he he doesn't talk May, but other than putting something the microwave.

The other one is on unsafe around flame so he can't be taught to cook thought, splintered skills all over the place between the two of them are you engaged in any type of autism thing in the state of Ohio with the guy doing like I'm in Tennessee we have a wonderful autism statewide organizations here in Tennessee are you engaged anything like that in Ohio. I'm available to do volunteer with the local autism support organization and their wonderful resources on their website that I look into sometimes looking for recreational activities and things like that but I still feel as though I am.

I don't know cornered off from the rest of the world because a lot of people that I interact with on that site. There there and two-family houses they have found to be there with them and help get you in front of events and things like that and I just felt so sheltered a lot of times shelters not the right word is that you not really sheltered your isolated and I get that you cut off and I get there and all hell of you been divorced for about 16 but he moved out of the house in 2012 and he didn't want to be married anymore in 2005 and so basically divorced 2007 you been you been emotionally disconnected from any type of spousal support for some time. You get counseling for yourself. I don't have no I don't I don't I know I should, but I don't feel like I have time for much of what I will know you told me that one of the boys goes at least two daycare such situation, and then I'm at work part time with hundreds he leaves I go to my part-time job and I get back home before he gets back home.

And so that that's the Debbie I wanted Friday to see something that's kinda hard. I don't need to be harsh, but I will meet be firm and only got just minutes to do it you're going to have to make time for some counseling for yourself. Okay you just have to make time for it. Whether sticking out of your part-time job. Whatever your husband's got have to come over and take care of these kids whatever it's gotta do you're going to have to make time because you do need some real help due to punch through this grief and and so forth. It's crippling you and and it's going to continue crippling you as you continue stay this isolation and the only way you can get through this is you have to have some help to have some professional help.

That's the only way okay there's there's no other way. You're not can be a little white knuckle yourself through this, but you can't get in there is a path, but it's a very very narrow path and it's gotta be treacherous and you need some real professional help guides down that path. Okay, that were right here at the end of the show it. I hate that for you, but you can call back anytime you want. Okay, but make an effort to get a referral to a professional counselor. Okay well I we got a run, this is Peter Rosenberger there's more and hope for the caregiver.com will see you next week