Spiritual Care in the Hospital

The hope of the caregiver on family talk Sirius XM 131 this is Peter Rosenberger. This is the nation's number one show for the family caregiver glad with those lovely those who are late at night doing lots of back-and-forth doctors dealing with a loved one who has some type of mental sue has a melt summary difference in their back-and-forth rehab there some different things afflicting individuals around the country and every time you see somebody with a chronic impairment. You can see the caregiver somebody was orbiting them however poorly they may be doing it. That's okay. All right. You show up bloodied, bedraggled, good work but like bedraggled, and sometimes even swearing in your breath.

All right, that's okay we get it. This is a show for you and we speak fluent caregiver would love to have you be a part of the show if you want to be a part of the show 877-655-6755 877-655-6755. You can also follow along on our Facebook page.

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We'd like to hear from you. We'd like to hear what with your struggling with what you're going to that's how caregivers get stronger as we bang these ideas around together we destroy no matter how difficult it may be, it's going to get better if you could have somebody who speaks your language to talk about it with two did engage with and that's why we do the show and I've been a caregiver myself over 33 years through medical nightmare. Multiple imputation's 80 surgeries hundred doctors, 12 different hospital seven different insurance companies now begin close to $11 million. I made it just keeps getting crazier and crazier but was still doing it and I can't do it alone and I'm suggesting to you the same thing you'll have to write 877-655-6755 is always better when you wish someone is speaking with someone you know I'm he's the band of the board salt of the sale, the Earl of engineering. The man who puts the word care into her to take it outside sir chomp up the count of muddy disco.

Everyone I have always a fan introduction now. I got the reason you want to take it outside when you know aren't you amazed and impressed. And you should be that I keep coming up all these new titles for you. I was going to say I want to know how many email every man hours per week. You really devote towards this quite a few bags that will listen. John and that is your name right. For the purposes of the show yes my name is John Butler.

I hope the caregiver.com I don't you know we do a segment periodically called meet the neighbors. Yes, because you are you are in your Montana. I am in Southwest Montana and you are in Nashville. It is providing the show from Dallas and usually in Montana so I am the neighbors.

I am in so neighbors and I met a very special neighbor. Not too terribly long ago and I went to the local hospital in Bozeman, Montana and we I was to actually taking a family member they're not Gracie but another family member. Okay it was just regular stuff, but that's a hub of medical activity over there and so we went over there to to the hospital and I'm happy to stick my head and introduce myself to the chaplain because I've talked a lot hospital chaplains when you've got those many surgeries grace you have gone through you meet a lot of chaplains have a real tender heart for play smart for chaplains because I think they doing amazing work in an almost impossible conditions. As you know, you know it it's like working at the at the desk at the lost luggage part of the airport. You know how you know it's not going to be a good day for the customer that walks into the stalker cuticle dry deleted the it could be greatly only come to you because there is a reason right and so I think if you're going to be a chaplain in the hospital. It's it's calling.

It's not something you you back there on career day at school and said hey here's what I'm but now it's a calling it so there's something more going on than just apply for job you got to have a special calling it a special distance disposition for this because it's a very, very important job, so I met Dr. Ken, marjoram and he asked me if I would come and speak at this event that they're having on Tuesday and and I said well on your server. Lunch Archie you are nothing if not it with her. I'll be there at the drop of a chicken leg get out of its PLS's art.

So here's our we don't have meet the neighbor music in you sure you don't have anything for me to neighbor music now. Well, that would be. Would you like to phone a friend and ask first what we don't have a job you could sing something, but we know you wanted when giving you with this. I am I'm right on the line here will begin. Thank you for being a part of our silliness and jocularity, but I love what you do truly do and and I stand by the same and that I think that this is a calling to be a chaplain in the hospital, you know that you could be dealing with families in distress. You know you can be dealing with people and in tough situations and so I want to thank you in advance just for what you do the labs that you touched in for let me be a part of what you doing on Tuesday. Well thank you very much, Peter, and I was really a joy to meet you and you popped her head in the office three weeks ago will tell you this.

What was the daily life of the hospital chaplain like well I'll tell you even really hit it on the head when you said you don't know what may come through the door and that's exactly what it's like to know we command and we are kind of red flagging a few people and courts.

We do have individuals become the hospital and they asked for spiritual care benefit and so we have through for those every day but a lot of it is just you know what prevents during the day, and I'll tell you it's a very exciting ministry. You just never know how God is going to be using you and and it is now pretty challenging at times will you when you do this. Please tell us a little bit about your background. This is the neighbor's signature yeah well I'm a Montana and I went out of state to go to school but graduated thinking I was going to be a music director teach high school band and somehow you know I'm I had a little bit of come to Jesus meeting and decided that now if I really wanted to affect lives.

I should, you know, go for the gusto and get into the Lords work so I went to seminary and and then pastored a couple of churches and in the midst of that kind of saw of what people went through in the hospital and you know one thing I learned is not every minister is comfortable in the hospital but I was very comfortable and so it was kind of natural and I have real interest in other religions. I had an interest in people and make friends pretty easily and so I trained for hospital work eventually and went to and it to a hospital in Spokane for clinical pastoral education became a board certified chaplain with the Association professional chaplains and and now I've been doing this work little bit in Kalispell, Montana and now here in Bozeman for over 25 years Bozeman Hills Deaconess Hospital hello you been there. I've been here. I'm in my 17th year starting my 17th year last year you wouldn't do the ministry can and you serve as a pastor. The Church of England got special training to be in the hospital yet. What are some of the specific things that you learned in that training that would be different than you did that you didn't get in seminary that you didn't get in the local church pastor that can stuff what is or something gets pops in your mind that was said oh I didn't know this that can you know a lot of it. Believe it or not. Self-awareness training a lot of it has to do question in a clinical setting.

You're working in your being with crisis in the emergency department almost every day you're working in ICU where people are critical in the midst of all that a lot of the training has to do with self-awareness so that you understand your own personal may be hot buttons are places where you might bring in your own stuff your own feelings into a situation and not be there for the patient or the family and so you have yourself doing all of this critical work with patients and families that are facing the worst and you want to be them in authentic authentic way where you are present with them and not you know preaching or or doing things that would be more along the lines of satisfying your own need a big part of it and then course you learning all of the a lot of the clinical work that needs to be done in the terminology and how to be a part of an interdisciplinary team and what it is to define spirituality in a way that is inclusive lot to pick up in a short amount of time. Well it sounds like you said the privilege of engaging with a lot of chaplains over the years and I sound. By and large, I mean just across the board. It is a very sincere group of individuals. I've yet to find one there that was discussed phoning it in.

Now I did and it says something because I been a lot of hospitals and a bit of with a lot of surgeries and so forth of my wife and I felt great. There's one particular good friend of mine back in Nashville who was a military chaplain and then he retired from military became hospital chaplain unbelievable singer just grateful that he would come in and sing to patients and do you sing to patients can you know I play guitar and I did a little bit of that but I haven't done that much about lately.

We know to be a band director what insight now sets guitar trumpet know well and you know I know I used to play in the glacier Symphony Orchestra, second trumpet that I haven't played now in 17 years so I'm I actually this morning I was doing chapel service that are in your living and I brought my shofar out. I have been to Israel and I purchased the shofar and so I tried to play that this morning and I'll let tell you it was a total disaster.

Will you keep practicing and lease at least some for my good talk little bit about things you wish people would know about the chaplain in the hospital. People are going to surgery or deal with crisis whether something that you would like for those people who've never seen the chaplain at hospital to know what you know there is kind of a I get popular notion that all the chaplain is only called when you're dying and I don't know how many times we get that and you have to sort of overcome that feeling. And certainly we are in not called only for the dying.

We are called to be with people who are going through some life changes. People with different cultural backgrounds. Of course, and and mostly what we do is were just there to be a human being next to someone who is traveling at a course through life that maybe they never thought they'd ever have to travel, and so one of the greatest gift that a chaplain can give is to just listen. So we are trained listeners, we want to understand what that patient is going through what that family member is going through with the caregiver and we want to be able to help them think through their own resources. Some spiritual resources from emotional resources to help them just get through some of the difficulties that they're facing. What we do on Tuesday. On Tuesday we every solve the hospital hose. A spiritual caregivers luncheon and so we invite regional ministers and spiritual leaders from all different walks of life, all different religions, even to come to the hospital. We feed them a nice hot lunch and then we give them some education on hospital visitation and then try to do something that would be educational for them. And so when I heard of your program and and your background, I thought all this would be perfect here with you and I will be a great speaker for our spiritual caregivers luncheon give a little bit of encouragement to people who are constantly caregiving for others. I got asked you what we have for lunch project. What specific did more specific heartburn we serve again something with I thought of something Italian is not a whole lot of time looking at the menu right as I know this is where the client is I will spend a lot of time looking at some sort of Apple crisper or pumpkin Christmas. For dessert, so I know that some kinda crisp, John is at the well. This is a passion I have of meeting with with folks who are doing this on any kind of walk of life because I've been there and in and patient are still there and and so I know how important this is an and I really hate to see families go to the trauma they go through without having a steady hand on their shoulder.

Just a friendly face. Somebody just to sit with them through that journey.

I hate to see that for families because it's such a terrifying place sometimes for so many in the hospital and and so that's why I just really applaud what you will do. John what we can say no.

Just like anything else we talked about why don't whenever my my teeth are our our need cleaning or there there right now my hat. I called Dennis to call a professional you're in a hospital you're experiencing some spiritual issues you call a professional and exactly one every day.

I think this thing a lot of people realizes this is something that you you wake up and do every day.

It's a part of who you are and the chaplaincy. I said it's a calling. It is not something you just, try this for a while and see how this fits you know that you don't do that with chaplaincy and I have a lot of friends of mine who were in the military chaplain. My dad was a military to and they got this thing that they do. The military is, ministry of presence and you said something to go to and that really resonated they go out to where the soldiers are where the servicemen and women are. They don't sit back in the rear echelon they are actually in the guard tower they are in embedded bivouac and with everyone in the units and so forth. And that that was a departure that started I think back in the 80s where they started doing that more and more with chaplains and it's such an amazing program. I think this is, where I see what you guys do to his you go where people are hurting me and you don't wait for them just to come here out there walking down the hallways here in the rooms and in your you walking into like it every time you nothing, adore you never know what's behind that door and people are facing things that you know are very upsetting and may change your life forever.

And so we really just in our department count that is sacred ground, and lot of compassion and lot of just holding holding hands and and sometimes being silent. We don't have to fail a lot sometimes and just walking them through. I remember a friend of mine back in Nashville was a chaplain at a large hospital where Gracie spent a good bit of time and he got a call Monday. Monday was Catholic priest and the monsignor called in said there's a family life is called in the sun with leukemias dying and they wanted you to come up to visit. So he went up to their excuse get the suit on the black color. The hopefully the white color and he knocks on the door and the father of this young boy opens the door and the father sees the caller to cross the whole thing and he just becomes enraged and he grabs my friend Ed and he literally pushes them out of the doorway and across the hall and up against the wall on the other side of the hall and he was screaming at him don't you come in here and tell me about God yeah yeah it and so it went down to his office come shaking her budget.

Sky was very as you can imagine is very very intense moment.

He went by and it was a pretty good size fella and and it went down.

His office called monsignor he said I don't think these people will see me in the monsignor almost yelled through the phone. He said he said that man's voice dying. I don't care if he hit you with both this you get back up their beef with that family and so head, gulped in the any what back up there and he knocked on the door and all the nurse everyone a way what back on the floor. Everybody just stopped and looked at him and he was just scarlet red but he knocked on the door and the father opened the door and was just incredulous that this man came back and he just looked it. It and let them in. Didn't say work say a word to him.

He just walked in and he sat there with the family stayed with the boy passed away.

It helped him with the entire service and the father and he could hardly speak any words to each other but they looked at each other. Both just held each other's gaze and they both just went and wow what a powerful story.

That's what hospital chaplains that to me that's that is such a beautiful story of what you do can and and I just I just want to just take a moment on the show today just to talk about that and think that's important for people to know that there is there are resources in your hospital.

Take advantage of them and they may not be the same denomination or anything like that with you. Don't don't get all worked up about.

At this point just for a friendly face to sit with you that this is around the hospital a lot more than you are and is willing to talk with you about well and that's really what we want to be. I will float pretty freely throughout the day and and we just want people to know that that were friendly face them or not someone who is always associated with the worst of news, that's for sure will you are you are just awesome. Your your over there in Bozeman health Deaconess Hospital in Bozeman, Montana. I'm looking forward to hanging with you guys a little bit on Tuesday and it was just a fun way to just meet the neighbors just have a good time with you. I look forward to many more times with you and appreciate you calling the show and you know what, you're always welcome to call in. If you get something that's going on that you feel like you know what this is something that that that Peter show would like to hear. You know, please don't hesitate okay wow that's great well for the opportunity to share a little bit.

Thank you for the caregivers that will never be able to touch necessarily to the show that you can touch every day and thank you for that because I've been that caregiver that was just dating in that corner of the hospital room is lonely is that and couldn't even see straight. Just feel like the weight of the world was on my shoulder have seen the friendly face of a chaplain come into the room and I thank you for that because of that's that's that there's so important what you do.

So thank you for doing that. This is hope for the caregiver. By the way, if you want to know more about what we're doing hope for the caregiver.com hope for the caregiver.com and you can the book is still hope for the king of the podcast will put this out of the podcast little bit later and it's free.

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We hope you take advantage of what we try to put out is many things as possible for you to equip you as a caregiver. This is a unique show there's no one show like what we do in there. I John I'm in get out there dish like I had to hold back Idaho back from from all of the band jokes that I know all of the many band jokes that I know Susie said always going to be a music director Mike this is what you as I did I played trumpet for six years in high school. Yeah, I don't really poorly. I mean, you know that and that is why you play piano there is a your you know you played trumpet that that will and our son Parker is very good player mother was Glenn's get on a trombone player on the on the playground.

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